IMBB 2 Lakh Facebook Fans Giveaway!

by Sanjeev on November 5, 2012 · 410 comments

YaAAaaAAAaaaaaAaaaaaaaAAAAaaAAaaAaaAAyyyyyYYyyYyyyyyyyyyYYYyyyYYyyyyyYYyyYyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!

WhhHHHHOOOOOOhhhHOOOOooOoOO!!!!!!!

Okies, I am fine now. Ahem.

I was expecting this giveaway two three days later according to my calculations, but I suppose we got fans at a faster rate than I expected. :) I was reading a book and munching a sandwich when suddenly Rati started whooping and screaming with joy. And then Jomol ‘Peacock’ James (I shall tell you the story about the Peacock thing later) started calling and Neha started messaging, and my biwi still kept screaming. And I realized I had miscalculated about our 2 lakh milestone. *sigh*

Oh well, Yayyyyyyy!

IMBB 2 Lakh Facebook Fans Giveaway!

giveaway
Okies here’s a small giveaway for all our fans. Rati was really in a giveaway mood and she decided to give her favorites; brand new Mango bag and Chanel eyeshadow palette. And some more goodies. :)

RULES:

  • Open to all Females residing in India.
  • In the comments, tell us about a funny incident in your life OR the funniest joke that you know. :)

PRIZES:

The First Winner gets Mango Bag along with Chanel Eyeshadow Palette
The Second Winner Gets MAC Eyeshadow Palette with Illamasqua red lipgloss and lipstick.
The Third Winner gets Lakme skincare goodies.

mango bag and chanel eyeshadow palette

mac and illamasqua

lakme goodies

Good Luck Peeepals! Have Fun!

P.S. : Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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{ 408 comments… read them below or add one }

Leez November 6, 2012 at 12:46 am

Two lakh facebook fans is NOT a Joke!! OMG like just some time back you had reached 1 lakh fans and so quickly another lakh. Okay I’ll share a joke later :)

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Devika Saxena November 6, 2012 at 12:47 am

A man boards a flight from Delhi to Mumbai and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she’s heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right next to his!

Eager to strike up a conversation, he asks Business trip or vacation?’ She turns, smiles, and says, Business. I’m going to the annual Sexologists Convention.’

He swallows hard. Here is the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting next to him, and she’s a sexologist! Struggling to contain his excitement and maintain his composure, he calmly asks, What’s your business role at this convention?’

‘Lecturer,’ she says, I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.’

‘Really?’ he says, swallowing hard. What m-m-m-myths are those?’ ‘Well,’ she explains, one popular myth is that African men are the best endowed when, in fact, it’s the Tamilian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, whereas actually it is the Bengali. However, we have found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Sardar.’

Suddenly, the woman becomes a little uncomfortable and blushes. I’m sorry,’ she says, I shouldn’t be discussing this with you. I don’t even know your name!’

‘Venkatraman, ‘ the man blurts out. Venkatraman Mukherjee! But all my friends call me Joginder Singh =D

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Preeti November 6, 2012 at 12:50 am

Congrats IMBB…
Here is the weirdest thought/joke that I had in my entire life :-

I need a new small room in my house. Should start to plan how to get my house pregnant ;)

And its witty too :)

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Deepti November 6, 2012 at 1:10 am

All major things a woman needs in her lifetime start with the letter M.

MAKE-UP
MAN
MONEY
MOM
MERCEDES
MASTI
MAGIC….. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

…A MAID!!! ( ask all the mothers on this blog!!!)

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guneet November 6, 2012 at 1:15 am

There is nothing more expensive than a female
tear..
.
.
When a single drop comes out,it first mixes with “loreal”

eyeliner and “Dior” mascara ;)
.
then when it comes down to cheek..
it mixes with D&G blusher :)
. .
and in case it touches the lips,,
it gets mixed with “Maybelline” lipstick

this means that a single drop is worth atleast Rs.2500 :P

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Deepti November 6, 2012 at 1:17 am

Jackie Chan’s wife dies after 1 year of marriage.
Santa consoles him by saying…” Chinese thi yaar…aur kitna chalegi??”

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Lakshmipriya November 6, 2012 at 1:22 am

2 lacs and that a great hit.. Way to go!! Congos Rati and Sanjeev ji :) :)

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Komal Jaiswal November 6, 2012 at 1:23 am

First of all congrats for your successes.

Well the funniest thing which turnout as a happiest moment of my life is.

One day I went for shopping with my friends there i saw a very cute and handsome looking boy all the time we were staring at each other , then at the cash counter when I had given my credit card for payment due to some reason cashier fails to track it so he asked to narrate the number and in nervousness as the guy was behind me I narrated him my phone no..
That is the funniest thing of my life and even more funnier I got a call from that boy..
and now that boy is my boyfriend we still laugh our lungs out by remembering that moment ..

LOVE IT………

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Ushma November 6, 2012 at 1:24 am

Congratulations IMBB team :)
Awesome way to celebrate with a giveaway! I have been reading the comments on this post for over an hour and still not completed the whole page!! Hilarious!

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Lakshmipriya November 6, 2012 at 1:37 am

And here comes the funny moment in my life.

I was 2.5 years old by that time (I’m 23 now :P) and my lil bro was 1 year old. One fine morning when i woke up, i saw my bro sleeping on my little bed (which was bought for me by my parents when i was born). I got angry on seeing that and did that funny thing. Guess what, i dragged the bed with him on it outside my house, pushed him out of bed and brought in the bed alone. He woke and started crying in a loud voice and my mom came running searching for him. I did it in a hurry and dunno what to do. I ran in, opened the refrigerator and sat inside it :P Thank god my bro was not much harmed and i slightly escaped from being murdered!! :D Even today, whenever me and my bro fight, my mom used to tell this incident and laugh at me. :) :)

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Surabhi @ Womanatics November 6, 2012 at 5:59 am

Lakshmi Priya..

This was indeed clever for a 2.5 yrs old gal… :D you could have thrown him inside the house itself :P

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René November 6, 2012 at 2:47 am

Mindreading:

What goes on inside the mind of a woman:

“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?”

What goes on inside the mind of a man:

If women ruled the world there would be no wars… Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

Disclaimer: This post is by a female who used to wear neckties (school uniform) :o)

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Monica K November 6, 2012 at 4:13 am

Congrats guys…party time indeed!

Here is my contest entry…drooooling over the bag!!!
Overheard in a ladies’ fitting room: “Honestly, do these pants make my rear end look big?” “Honestly? Your rear end makes the pants look big!!!”

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va November 6, 2012 at 5:43 am

well , i can say this . i really wanted to call my mom that is abroad on skype to see how she was doing but when i called she couldn’t hear me . ex . hello ? hello ?
next time called . hello , hello don’t call my number again !
she thought it was a prank caller but it was me her daughter . oh my gosh i felt so bad but yet it was funny at the same time . so right after i fb msged her telling her it’s me and on skype but guess she hasn’t received the msg . so far .. yikes .
tumblemumbo at gmail.com

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Shami November 6, 2012 at 8:44 am

Congratulations IMBB team!!!
Good idea to post the funny comments :) enjoyed Reading it!!!

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neetu aadya lohani November 6, 2012 at 9:27 am

Congrazz imbb.. :) many more celebrations ahead!!!
Aiyooo m again excluded from give aways.. :( sob sob

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neetu aadya lohani November 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

Wow.. congrazzzz imbb.. :) wishing many more celebrations ahead!! Lil sad m nt participating again.. :(
Joke of d day: for all smart hubbys- dnt ever laugh on ur wife choices, u r one of them.. :) ;)
Dats hw I always take stand infront of my hubby.. he he..

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neetu aadya lohani November 6, 2012 at 9:52 am

Aww moderation..

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Tanu November 6, 2012 at 10:20 am

Husband: aaj tum fir suit le aai, abhi parso hi to…….
Wife (gusse me): kya kya kya parso bolo kya parso….???
.
.
.
.Husband: Nai….. parso bhi 1 hi liya tha aaj do le aati…..:)…

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Vinny Sarda November 6, 2012 at 10:35 am

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. ‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me — a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!’
And the husband replied, ‘Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.’ ‘Fine, go ahead,’ she sobbed,’ but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!’

And the husband began – ‘Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift.

She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight.. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.’

The husband took a quick breath and continued – ‘She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
‘Please … Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?

lol

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Deepti November 6, 2012 at 10:37 am

jai bajrang bali

Ram Lila se Hanuman tha farar,
role ke liye fit kia ek Sardar.
jo tha bahut hi kamaal,
Ped se chhalaang maar ka bola “Jo Bole Sonihaal”,
sita maiya SASRIAKAL
Aapki mahima hai Apram Paar….
I M A SON OF SARDAAR…….
Bolo ta ra ra ra ………

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RANJU November 6, 2012 at 10:39 am

2 pandito me ladai ho rahi thi. Bhaut der ho gi to 3rd pandit ne aakr pucha, kya hua? 1st pandit bola jb mein lehsun pyaj ni khata to isne mere chicken me dala kyu !
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Millions of Congratulations……..
We all wish that fan list be updated non-stop in multiples 200k next 400k and the list goes on…….

The beauty of this blog is it is simple,
informative, people feels immediately
attached even with first glance.

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RANJU November 6, 2012 at 10:40 am

sorry i think my previous update was goes with wrong Email-id

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Priyanka Sahoo November 6, 2012 at 10:47 am

Height of misunderstanding

Someone placed a bomb near an old lady

Everyone yelled “Aunty bomb hai!!!!!!!!!”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
She smiled and said…

NAHI RE PAGALON , AB PHELE JAISI BAAT KAHAN…….:P :D

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dharani November 6, 2012 at 10:52 am

congratulations guys………way to go:D

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Deepti November 6, 2012 at 10:53 am

RAM SITA LOVE LETTER IN PUNJABI :D

प्यारी सीता,

मैं itthe raji ख़ुशी से हाँ and hope ke tu v ठीक ठाक hovengi,
Laxman रात नु tannu बहुत याद करदा si.
मैं इस बन्दर दे हाथ tannu चिट्ठी bhej reha हाँ,
तू bilkul tension ना layi मैं बहुत jaldi tenu ravan कोलो chuda
lavanga.

मैं AIRTEL दा postpaid ले लिया सी, RAVAN nu मैं mobile te bhot
गालियाँ kadiya te साले ने काट ditta,
चल कोई ni मैंने आना ता है ही. Taan KUTUNGA साले KANJAR nu.
मैं तेरे naal भी एक AIRTEL ka prepaid bhej riya सी usme 1500 SMS free
wali scheme हा, तू रोज़ मेरे को SMS kari.

Chinta ना kari, जब भी gal करने को जी करे, एक miss call मार diyo.
मैं यहाँ से tenu बात कर levenga.
तू मेरे bill दी chinta ना kariyo, Sugreev nu payment दा jimma दे ditta
si.

Accha OK
See U.
With Luv
दशरथ दा Vadda पुत्तर “राम”

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Deepti November 6, 2012 at 11:01 am

Dad to son: Agar tu fir se exam me fail hua to mujhe papa mat bolna…
AFTER EXAM
Dad: How is your result ?????
Son: Dimaag kharaab mat kar Ram Lal……tune baap hone ka haq kho diya hai …. :D

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Ramya November 6, 2012 at 11:04 am

This happened when I was around 4 years old. My mother told me this…

One day there was some Homam that was happening in a near bytemple. The whole day I could hear people chanting mantras and singing songs (basically Sanskrit songs). That evening, my mom took me to the temple. I asked her if I can sing a devotional song. She was surprised and was eager to know what song I was going to sing. Cos I just started going to school and mom thought I should have learnt something new at school..

She said, ‘Yes, go on’.. :)

Any guesses? What song it should have been?

No?

ok.. I just started with a loud voice ‘Jana Gana Mana…..’ :) Yes, our National anthem with a strict attention posture :-P

My mother stood there not knowing what to do.. as others started gazing at me…

My mother tongue is Tamil.. So I thought ‘Jana Gana Mana…’ was something like mantras that they were chanting.. Probably cos I dint understand the meaning…

I left the place only after completing the whole song it seems… Must have been quite embarassing for my mom..

But… Mom says.. ‘Its the devotion that matters… so its ok.’ So sweet.. right? :)

Everytime my mom tells this story to someone they just burst out laughing :):)

Have a nice day! :)

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Deepti November 6, 2012 at 11:08 am

Door ki soch….
Is saal jab 12-12-12 date aayegi aur 12 baj kar 12 minute
aur 12 second honge to tab 12-12-12, 12:12:12 honge…….
Teri jaan Kasam………………………
SARDAARON ko kaun sambhalega ?????????????????? :D :D :D
:D :D :D

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Dollie November 6, 2012 at 11:16 am

CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is such a momentous occassion for you :).

This incident happened with me just yesterday which was quite funny as well as witty…we just got my younger son’s mundan (tonsure) done last week and he’s still a bit upset over the loss of his hair. I told him to let me put a little bit of oil on the scalp stubble so that he would get nice new hair. I was so stunned when he said “Mama, new hair come then oil.” I laughed out loud at the way my two year old toddler was trying to outsmart me. Clearly shows the intelligence, wit and presence of mind of the current generation of toddlers!

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Su November 6, 2012 at 11:26 am

Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband, “I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?”

Husband replied, “Your eyesight is still excellent.”

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Nidhi November 6, 2012 at 11:33 am

This is an incident when my first son was born, the naming alphabet was P so everyone started suggesting names. I wanted modern and my in laws something authentic so I was talking to my masi when she suggested Prahlad and suddenly her 5 year son said didi are you keeping the baby’s name Prahlad, I said we are thinking on which he innocently replied phir to jiju ka naam bhi HIRANYAKASHYAP rakhna padega.

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kalpana November 6, 2012 at 11:39 am

This incident happened with my sister. One day my jeeju called his friend from my sister’s number and she was unaware of this fact. After a few hours when he left for office ,my sister got a call from that number. On the other side there was a lady(actually an angry bird).So the conversation goes like this:
Lady: Hey who are you
Sister: Why ? You called ,you tell?
Lady: You called on this number.So you tell first.
Sister: I am sorry but I didn’t.
Lady: Ok I know you want my husband .What you have to do with him. You just wait and watch and see what all I can do.
(by this moment my sister started laughing and yes she was a bit frustrated too)
Sister: Ok I am waiting . Do whatever you want to do.
Lady: Why are you laughing.Don’t think I can’t find you.Stay away from my husband or just wait for the result.
Sister : My sister laughed again and disconnected the call.

That frustrated women called again but my sister didn’t answer.
So she called from some other number and acted as if she’s a telecaller.

She said “Ma’am I am calling from xyz company.May I know your name?”
My sister: “HAHA I caught you.You’re the same lady na? Don’t bother me,nobody’s is interested in you husband”
she said” OK ,you will not tell me your name na? OK then wait for results”

When my jeeju came back my sister told him everything.Then he checked the number and said “Oh yes I made that call”.Then he called his friend to clear the misunderstanding.His friend after listening to what has happened replied in a very low tone”OK” and he sounded as if he is the pig who has been hit by an angry bird :P

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Chhavi November 6, 2012 at 11:42 am

First of all I would like to Congratulate the IMBB team for its Success. The reviews are Fab and they helped me a lot for my wedding make up shopping. Because of Rati’s awesome review on Clarins beauty flash balm i bought my first luxury skin care product. Thanx a ton for that.

Joke of the Day: An old lady goes to the doctor..
Lady: Doc I have problem with gas but it really does not bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, i have farted atleast 20 times since i have been here in your office. U didnt know I was farting bcoz they dont smell and are silent.
Doctor: I see take these pills and come back to me next week.
The next week lady comes back. She says, I dont know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts still silent…but stink terribly.
Doctor: Gud now dat we have cleared up your nose…Lets work on your hearing!!!

Have a good day Guys!!!

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anks November 6, 2012 at 11:45 am

Hi Guys… 2 lakh fans is a major major milestone… great going :) though I am not regular anymore, i hop by occasionally and am so glad I did this time :p

Hope you guys continue with the good work and have another 1 lakh fans very soon!

The giveaway is great… am totally lusting after that bag…lol… so here is the funny incident that happened to my colleague. He went shopping with his wife and she was at a lipstick counter. She kept on trying various shades and this guy was getting bored. Finally, she shortlisted 3 lipsticks and held them out to show the hubby. He took one look at it and said, “Not this one Jaanu. It tastes yuck!” She didn’t buy anything from that counter again :)

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anks November 6, 2012 at 11:46 am

my comment went into moderation! :(

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Sanjeev November 6, 2012 at 11:49 am

Lololol I’m just laughing and laughing today reading all this! :)

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Sim November 6, 2012 at 11:50 am

Dear God
Yesterday was an awful day for me!!!!
My husband ran off with his secretary.My son pierced his eyebrow.My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head.My dog mated with the neighbours cat.My neighbour sold her house to a mental institution.My Mom told me I was adopted.My boss told me I was laid off.My sister was arrested for prostitution.My house has termites.My car was stolen.All that came in the mail was bills.A plane crash landed on my garage.OJ Simpson came to my door selling rug cleaner.And my TV blew.

LORD. Pls.be with me today….I was able to live through all that misery yesterday. And I will be able to make it through anything today!!!!
But please…. DON”T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO MY COMPUTER!!!!!!!!:p

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Leez November 6, 2012 at 11:59 am

Okay now when I have to narrate a funny incident my brain decides to forget everything that has ever happened to me. I renember a few incidents though.
#1 It was on Valentines day last year. So all us know how a rose is the symbol of love. But my boyfriend had other ideas. I was ready for my date when my boyfriend shows up and what does he bring me? Naah not a rose, thats too mainstream for him, he brought me a POTATO instead. Yes, a freaking potato. His logic: ” Roses are pretty but they wilt away in like a week, and you have to put them in water and all. But a potato? A potato lasts like forever. Not only that, you can even eat it or make a battery out of it and it grows buds too. Its useful, it doesn’t need to be beautiful.” I was like Whaaaaa???
#2 I was chatting with a guy from our class on facebook when he asks “

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Leez November 6, 2012 at 12:04 pm

#2 this guy on fb asks me “What are you doing?”
Me: Nothing much just surfing.
Him: Oh what are you suffering from?
Me: Eh, I’m surfing the net.
Him: Okay okay take rest, I think you’re ill.
Me: Whaaaa!!???

Finally I’d like to share a joke:
One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans ’cause they made me flatulent.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.”
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: “Happy Birthday!”
I fainted.

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Leez November 6, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Someone please rescue my first comment :(

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mandeep kaur November 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

hey congratz!!!!!!! this is the first time i am participating…….it’s an old joke but my favourite since childhood……i love this joke so would like to share it……….. sab jagah shor macha hua tha k ek paagal ne 300 page ki book lihk di….sab hairaan reh gye aur sochne lage kamaal ho gya ……aur fir socha chalo padhke toh dekhe k paagal ne kya likha hai book mein……………………aur jab book khareedi aur pehle page pe likha tha ghora kaise daurta hai????????????? …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… aur baki ke 299 pages pe likha tha……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad……………….

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Aarbee November 6, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Wow! This is so awesome! Totally kicks a** :D
Feels it was just yesterday that IMBB reached 1 lakh fans! Kudos to the entire team for making everyone a part of this beautiful warm relationship – here’s to many more lakhs :D
Love u guys :D

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Gayathri November 6, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I would like to share an incident happened in my college. Our college is very strict, that we cant even go out of the classroom block during the class hours. Our only hide out is ladies restroom. We, a set of 3 girls were chatting there, suddenly a staff entered. We don’t know what to do. Because if the staff takes it to the HOD, then they will call our parents and make it a big issue. One of my friend, out of fear, took the mop that was there nearby and started wiping the floor. On seeing this, the staff herself laughed and said please go to the class. This is something I cannot forget. Thought of sharing it with IMBBians

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khushi November 6, 2012 at 12:26 pm

So this incident happened when I went to watch COCKTAIL with my friend. There was a guy sitting next to us and 2 of his friends were sitting in the upper row. Then the most interesting scene came, when deepika was wearing bikini and suddenly I don’t know what happened to this guy.Out of excitement he suddenly stood up and instead of choosing the normal way to the upper seat he tried to jump over to the upper row,but the bikini scene became unintersting because this guy’s leg was struck in the seat.We started laughing so hard(trust me I’m not a bully but I just couldn’t control) First he tried to show”Oh nothing’s wrong,I’ll manage” but in the very next moment he started yelling “oh god please somebody help me…mummy!! Help me,it’s paining. I hope it won’t cause a fracture”So then I thought there’s something serious so I said I’d just call somebody to help you but when I came back I saw his shoe under the chair and he was innocently sitting on the same seat. He was giving excuse”I did not want to disturb you people.” After break he finally went to his friends :P
We again laughed and said OK. Though I missed Deeps in her bikini scene but for surely this was way more interesting :D :D

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Su November 6, 2012 at 12:28 pm

This it the most funniest thing that has happened in my childhood.

I stayed with my grandparents in my childhood.One day my grand mother woke me up early in the morning as we have start early to some place as we all are going to some wedding.She used to make bath powder for me with some grains and that day there was no power as it was raining heavily that day.So,in a hurry she confused with the garam masala powder tin to the bath powder tin.She started giving bath to me with the garam masala powder and I was crying but grand ma has beat me and completed the bath.I had severe rashes on my skin that day.

Me and my grand ma still laugh remembering this.

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Deepti November 6, 2012 at 12:48 pm

A Boy was deeply in LOVE with her classmate.

One day he proposed her.

But she got angry & refused.

One day that girl borrowed a book from him &

wrote a message: I LOVE YOU too, don’t leave me please…
But the Boy didn’t see that message. He never

talked to her.

2 years went…

Finally that girl committed suicide.

Moral :

.

.

.

KAM SE KAM SAAL ME 1 BAAR TO APNI BOOKS KHOL KAR DEKH LIYA KARO… :D :D

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divya spandana November 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm

This incident happened during my summer holidays, relatives visited our house with cookies and some fried eatiers and had kept it on the dining table of our house . That day my mom had been for a evening walk and I was attending them, I never even thought the eatiers lying on the table was bought by them I instead thought it was kept by mom before going for the walk and I served the same to relatives. They were littele reluctent to have it and they offered me , me without a second thought told them that ‘No aunty, I have been eating this from morning, you plaese have it’ , later my mom came and they left after some time. Then my mom asked me had you bought the cookies, only then I gottu that it was bought by them , we both laughed so much and still my mon taunts me on this incident :-P

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Kopila Singh November 6, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Hi Rati

First of all hearty congratulations to all of you on this great succes !!! Way to go… :)

This is an incident when I was hardly 2 yrs old. I call my Dad as Papa-sa-hukum as I am a rajput and we add “sa hukum” after the names to show the respect to the elder ones. My Dad never appreciated referring underwear as chaddhi :P. Once while I was way too young to actually understand the difference I told to my Dad, “Papasahukum chaddi pehna do, chaddi” and this made him very furious as he did not like it at all… After realizing that he is frowning I understood that I had said it wrong but did’nt know what was the correct one… So I quite innocently corrected myself saying “Sorry Papa-sa-hukum, chaddi-sa-hukum pehna do” :P :D and everybody around bursted into laughter… My Dad still tells us this incident and laughs like hell upon my then common sense… :P :D

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Su November 6, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Satish got promotion.. So everyone was congratulating him!!

Satish: Thank u..

Raghu : Congrats

Satish: Thanks Man

Then Shwetha came der.

Shwetha: hey Satish :)

Satish: hi Shwetha

Shwetha: Congraaaaaats..U got promotion… So when ru going to give the treat..

Satish: ah..well..sure..sure…Anytime :)!!!

Shwetha: good…do u have my number?

Satish: hey nooo

Shwetha: give ur mobile… i ll give a msd call… Save it.

Satish gave his mobile to Shwetha..

Shwetha: yess….take it..will talk to u later..bye

When Shwetha left, Satish’s friend Kiran came der…

Kiran: hi dude… You both were exchanging mobiles also!!!! Wats d matter :p ???

Satish: hehe .. She gave her number … (expressing his happiness)

Kiran: Ok Ok… Give party for this also…
——–
At room 10.30 pm

Kiran: Wat da.. why ru looking at the mobile sooo nervously?

Satish: Her number … Am jst thinking wat msg I should send…

Satish typed the message

“hey Shwetha tis is Satish….”

Kiran: Arey Stoop!!! Wat is dis!!!

Satish: Wot Happen Dude???

Kiran: for the past one year u both were sitting side by side in Office.. Why do u fear to Propose?? This is the chance buddy..!!

Satish: No dude.. I have to speak a lot wid her.. I need to share so many personals wid her…

Kiran: Just listen … It took one year for you to have her number… U have to share personals, propose her, & she should accept.. Good.. O..!! By that time she will get married..!!

Satish: Then wat shud I do Mamu???

Kiran: Jst directly propose her :)
Satish: … Propose??? Nooooooo…

Kiran: Yes Satish… She may accept or reject… It’s better to see the result now itself…Don’t be late.. Just send her I Love You…

Satish: Ok …

Satish is typing the message…

“I”

Kiran: Wat man… Ur hands are shivering… Don’t Worry… Am der naa…!!!!”(Kiran began to sing a song teasing Satish)

Satish: Hey … Stop those stupid songs.. :(

Kiran: Ok Ok… You Continueee :) !!!

Satish continued

“I LOV”

Kiran: type fastly

Satish continues..

“I LOVE YOU KIRAN”

Kiran: Stupid… Idiot… Stop… Wats dat typing!!!

Satish: oooosshh sorry Maga, I was in tension … Now I ll type correctly..

“I LOVE YOU SHWETHA”

Kiran: wait wait

Satish: Wat???

Kiran: Send her the message & keep the mobile aside!!! Lets see the reply tomorrow…

Satish: :( :( :(

Kiran: Stop!!! If she says No, then you will not let me sleep this night..!! I can’t bear that torture.. So just keep the mobile aside & sleep.. If its negative reply.. Then take lite :)

Satish: ok …

Within few seconds Satish messaged her, there was a message tone… A reply came to his mobile… But Satish din’t see the mobile…

Satish: we got a reply… Shall we see??

Kiran: Hey switch off the light & sleep.. Lets see dat tomorrow!!!

At 12 AM

Satish: Kiran!!!!

Kiran: Hey what??? (Wid ltl bit seriousness)

Satish: reply came know… Is der any chance that she accepts???

Kiran: yaa der is a chance :)

Satish: thanks U sleep..

AT 1 AM

Satish: mamu mamu…

Kiran: Reyyy… Watttt??? Why ru disturbing me like dis???

Satish: I ll jst see her reply daaa…

Kiran: Nooo!!! Then u ll be crying the whole night!!!..Keep quiet & sleep!!!

—-

AT 3.AM

Satish: Kiran

Kiran: what …Why ru killing me like dis??? :( :(

Satish: Mamu Ru sleeping???

Kiran: Idiot!!!.. Ur the first one to wake up a person who is sleeping and asking him whether he is sleeping …Rey… Idiot.. Waste Fellow.. Don’t u have concern on me..!! Go & sleep!!! Tomorrow I need to wake up early… :(:(:(
——–

At 4.AM

Satish: Maga its 4 Am ..This is morning naaaa… Can I read the message???

Kiran: Pls satish lemme sleep :(:(:(

Satish: I am not getting sleep raa

Kiran: Close ur eyes… :@ U ll get sleep…

—–

AT 6 AM
——-
Satish: mamu mamu… Its 6 Am

Kiran: Murgi Chor!!! If I know that you ll be torturing me like dis, then I wud not told you to see the reply tomorrow.. … Go & Sleep man… Plzzzz!!!!

Satish: No I should read that message now…

Kiran: shabba Ok.. Go.. GO & See.. (Kiran was ltl bit serious)

Satish opened the message very excitingly & with the same force, he fell down with Shock…

Kiran: Rey… Wat happened… Wat happened!!!

Satish didn’t say a single word….

Kiran: He might have died with happiness…. I too should see her reply!!!

Kiran saw the message in Satish’s mobile… Even Kiran was shocked… The message was…!!!!

.

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“YOUR MOBILE BALANCE IS VERY LOW. MESSAGE CANNOT BE DELIVERED”

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Ritika November 6, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Oh my godddddddd

2 lack fans !!! This is so awesome ! :D :D :D
Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

There are times when I really miss the crazy smileys :P

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Ranju November 6, 2012 at 2:30 pm

when I was child I used to be afraid to show my parents :)
Years passed by……..
now my parents are afraid to see it ;)
I love their improvement……

Congrats IMBB

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Tanvi November 6, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Judge: Apke pas kya saboot hai ki aap gaadi dheere chala rahe the?
Man: judge sahab main apni biwi ko lene sasural ja rha tha…:p

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Tanvi November 6, 2012 at 2:45 pm

height of torture:
Boy: mera sir dukh raha hai, mood bhi kharab hai, main bahut tensed hu.
Girlfriend: hmm, accha wo sab chhodo dekho meri nayi chappal :p

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Ranju November 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Santa to his father- Bapu ajj Mc’Donalds chaliye?
Father- ik var McDonald’s de spelling te suna?
Santa (After thinking a while): Chaad bapu KFC he chalde aa…..

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Tanvi November 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Wife came home late after a kitty party. She dint wanted to wake her husband so she undressed and tiptoed to the room naked. Suddenly the husband got up and said, “Sab haar gayi??!!” :D

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spriha November 6, 2012 at 4:14 pm

i think i am late for this…but once me,3 of my cousins were enjoying a muvi(i think darr). my mum and one of my aunts were lying on the floor.there were many lizards crawling on the wall(:’(…i just hate them)..my brother had the craziest habit of collecting those plastic insects which we used to get with the pack of Rasna.
two of the lizards started a fight an fell on the floor,,my mum and aunt jumped like kangaroos..it is fun watching others doing that:P…after some time when everything was normal and my mum and aunt were enjoying their talks(chugliyas)..a lizard fell exactly in middle of them!!!..this time the looked more like orangutans…the lizard didn’t move..my brother got down from his bed and picked that lizard!!!it was the platic one!!!!

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Su November 6, 2012 at 4:21 pm

A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, Is God a man or a woman?”

“Both son. God is both.”

After a while the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?”

“Both son, both.”

The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, Is Michael Jackson a God?”

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Su November 6, 2012 at 4:48 pm

My comments under moderation…
Pls rescue

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Renu November 6, 2012 at 4:21 pm

congrats imbb.

1. Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : Bad.

Interviewer : Come.
Sardar : Go.

Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichlli.

Interviewer : U G L Y?
Sardar : PICHLLY !!!!!!!

Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.

Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.

Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.

Interviewer : U r Rejected.
Sardar : I am Selected. balle balle.

2.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me!” That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, “He’s very rich. Marry him.” That’s Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.” That’s Telemarketing.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I’m rich. Marry me” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That’s Customer Feedback.

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Dr simran November 6, 2012 at 4:21 pm

hi friends, all is well…. i like this thread very much becoz each word i type i remembr my golden days of chilhood, college days… well in each and everyone of lifesomething funny would hav happened. I will share mine… i was a microbiology student in one college at bangalore. Once our college had arranged blood donation camp. I always wanted to donate my blood once atleast in my life. So with full enthusiasm i went to the place where the camp was put up with my friend. We were standing in queue. When it was my turn..the doctor saw me and stared at me. I was wondering wat happened to him. he looked at me from top to bottom and asked me,”why have you come here?”. I replied, “Sir I have come to donate my blood.” He shouted,”what?”. i was taken aback. He told, you seem to be so weak & thin, that i need to give you a bottle of blood, instaead of taking from youuuuu!!!!!!!!!!:-P

every one laughhed…. ofcourse i was too thin that time…..ha ha even now i think and enjoy…:-D..

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Dr simran November 6, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Funniest joke ever – “A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.” :D

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Su November 6, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Moderation:(

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Dr simran November 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Huhahahaha :P:P:)

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Yogika Garg November 6, 2012 at 4:36 pm

This incident took place a few months back.In fact this is a series of funny incidents. LOL :D
I had planned to meet an old friend of mine for lunch at a mall. As per the plan,we met t the decided place and were having a good time. During the meal, a guy in his early twenties approached our table and addressed me,’ Sorry to disturb you ,but we friends were playing truth-or-dare and I’ve been given a dare to ask your name. So,if you don’t mind can I please know your name?’ I looked across the room and saw 3 guys seated on a table ,not far from our table,smiling towards us. So just to play along , I answered,’I’m Basanti.’ He thanked me and went back to his table. Me and my friend had a hearty laugh as ‘Basanti’ was ofcourse not my real name :P :D We finished our lunch and left. I had to go shopping,so I was walking towards a counter,when I heard someone;s frantic calls as ‘Hey basanti! Hey Basanti wait.Hey Red-Bag wait.Listen’ I looked back and saw the same guy who had asked me my name was coming towards me. I was in no mood to talk to a stranger. I supposed he was just trying to get friendly or something,so I continued walking and ignored him. I thought he would get a clue and stop following me. So I quickened my pace and continued walking. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked and found the same guy again. I was really angry on him now,so I literally screamed ‘whats your problem? Why are you following me? Again if you follow me I’ll call the police’ Saying so ,I had just turned that I heard him say: ‘How will you call? you left your cell phone in the restaurant’ When I looked at him,he was holding my cell-phone,which I had accidentally left in the restaurant where I was having my lunch. I was so confused and dint know what to answer. He handed me my phone and I could barely whisper a Thank-You mixed with a Sorry :)
He then replied:’ No problem. you are welcome. By the way,if you dont mind,can I know your real name Basanti? :P
I smiled sheepishly and then told him my real name. Thanking him again,I left, still smiling stupidly at the incident :D

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Su November 6, 2012 at 5:24 pm

my comments under moderation…
Someone rescue

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cynthia selvanathan November 6, 2012 at 5:41 pm

One day in morning wee hours me and my frnd where travelling to college. Our college bus driver was a nice person. Students were getting in very slowly into the bus. Driver was shouting in tamil to them to get in fast. Driver in his known broken english was saying “close the door” continuously. But no one closed , so he did not move the bus. One naughty boy said to the driver in his language without respect to take the bus. The driver got irritated and suddenly stopped telling “close the door” and said “close your mouth” to that boy. The whole crowd laughed for his rhyming words. The boy though felt embarrased and started laughing himself..

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Vidya November 6, 2012 at 5:44 pm

First of all heartiest congratulations to IMBB – there are scores of beauty blogs that i visit, but when I have time to check only one website, it’s always IMBB – the variety, frequency and quality of reviews assure that I never get bored!

Can’t miss this giveaway! Now for the funny incident in my life:

I was in 9th standard – in the tuition class, Mam asked the unit for electric charge. Goodness knows from where, but I blurted out Condom instead of Coulomb! She just gasped and then laughed – I didn’t know what exactly a condom meant then, but I knew it was something ‘bad’, something ‘dirty’. Seeing her expression, I just froze. Then somehow I realized my blunder and corrected it by saying ‘coulomb’! Now when I think of it, I just get too embarrased for words!

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sanusiab November 6, 2012 at 6:17 pm

hello every1 m new to imbb but juss love it, nd congo on the new milestone

This incident happend during my Graduation 1st year, i was seated in auto nd waitin for my friend hu wanted to hav cornetto icecream very badly, she got it nd den she was holdin it nd came towards ryt side of auto, she looked as if statue of libertyy she passed the left side nd didnt reach the ryt side nd to my shock she fell down on her face, instead of helpin her i cdnt stop laughin enuf, got embarressed infront of all, sat in auto, lately i was tensed coz her knee was bleedin badly so jus for first aid v entered dominos pizza v got first aid, and pizza also ofcourse :D

Second incident is also around pizza :p
Here it goes, me my mom nd my small sis had gone shoppin, i jus entered pizza hut nd made a take away order, nd i left pizza hut as to continue shoppin nd will pick pizza later, when i left pizza hut my sis was followin me donno whr her mind was, she came nd hit the transparent glass wall, lol nd she fell down, all ppl got us surrounded nd to ths day pizza hut workers smile at us wen thy see my small sis :):) such incident r needed to tease ur small siblings life long

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neelaxmijain November 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm

The most funniest thing is just not happened but also happening uptil now is dat…i Really dont know how to completely operate…Facebook…why everytym i just mistype my email n password..:-P:-D

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himanshi November 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm

boy: tute huye dil naal pyaar karegi ya fir dil tutan tak?
gal:tuti hui jutti naal pitega ya jutti tutan tak….

wife: i hate tht beggar!
husband: why?
wife: bloody rascal,yest i gave him food to eat and today he gifted me a book.” how to cook”. :)

in haryana:
teacher:hanuman kiska chora tha?
student: jaat ka
teacher:wo kaise?
student: unke kaam hi aise the “ladai kisi ki,lugai kisi ki,poonch apni fukwa di”..:p

sardar nyi car laya
dost bola:yar ispe kuchh aisa likwa ki pta chale sardar ki car hai,
sardar ne likhwaya “darwaza bahar ki taraf khulta hai”…:) :p

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himanshi November 6, 2012 at 6:32 pm

It was the day of the big sale.
Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses.
On the man’s second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again.
As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line…
“That does it!
If they hit me one more time, I don’t open the store!”

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himanshi November 6, 2012 at 6:41 pm

A man went into a shoe repair store in his hometown that he had not been in for almost twenty years. He found everything just the way he remembered it. He went up to the counter and asked the man about a pair of shoes that he had left there for heel repair almost 20 years ago.”One minute. I’ll check,” replied the man.A few minutes later, the repairman came back.”Well…” said the man,”They’ll be ready Tuesday.”

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Ankita Roy November 6, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Once upon a time there was a small girl who loved SWEETS… She grew up from a child to a teenager and then a young lady eating all kind of sweets.. After she completed her Bachelors degree, she decided to leave home for her Masters degree, in search of more knowledge.. She thus paved way for herself to become independent and self sufficient.. As she joined the University, she gained new friends.. She was happy with her life in the University and in her HOSTEL.. But ALAS!!!!! Her beloved sweets were far from her regular reach now.. She only got to have a taste of them once or twice a week, that too the number was limited to ONE!!! Poor being could not sleep properly the nights when she yearned for a small bit of SOME sweet..
One night, as she entered the Mess area for dinner, she was elated.. There they were!!!! Her favourite bits of soft, juicy, yummy, hot GULAB JAMUNs!! But to her dismay, in a tiny li’l bowl ,she was served her only destined piece.. She put the piece in her mouth after she was done with her bit of RAJMA CHAWAL and it softly melted down.. She wanted to have one more but it was something impossible, each girl was served one single sweet each week and it would be unfair to ask anybody for her share of the sumptuous little thing; she was heart broken but didn’t lose hope.. She was determined that she would go to any extent to have another one… She walked up to the buffet spread, loosened her clips, let down her hair and covered her face with them.. She took up a plate and placed a bowl of Rajma on it, took another Roti and queued up for a second time.. Her friends (biting their nails) kept staring, they were unsure if this would work, she would never ever succeed in fooling the Mess workers…………………………………………………………………… Then it came, in a small transparent bowl another tender piece… The strict serving hand, disgusted with the opened hair and weird behaviour, overlooked who was standing and put forth the delicious li’l thing on her plate.. & Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy.. She WON her battle of LOVE, HER LOVE FOR SWEETS.. She walked up the stairs with joy, she was sure to have a great night’s sleep ahead!!

And well the girl was me!!! :D

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sreya November 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

congratulation imbb :D :D many more milestones are awaiting and many more giveaways :P are waiting for us..
a funny incident i remember is…. one of my friend named Siddhartha (is very particular about his face, skin, appearance which i really envy) had really bad pimples once and one day he complained to us verryyy sadly :( and wanted suggestions from me just and to make his mood better i asked him to use chili paste only in the affected areas :P and we all said that this paste is just great and helped many of us to get rid of pimples and he actually trusted us :P and you will not believe he did that and jumped frantically in the whole house and the next day he abused us like hell and we all rolled laughing :D :D he is the sweetest friend of mine.

i want to state another incident of sid. Siddhartha’s sister is a great capry lover and sid always gets frantic saying again sister bought a knew capry n all(then,he even dint know capry is a ladies wear thing :P).. during a shopping time with all of us in spykar, he went to the counter and said to show him capry of his size :D :P the male SA seriously said men logo ka capry nehi hota hein sir :D and we all laughed like hell and till our face turned red… sid is always there to create entertainment…:P i wil never forget the capry incident and the male SA in my life :D :)

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Babara Khan November 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Hi all,

First of all Congrats guys… An amazing blog and amazing work by you all …

I have recently started reading the IMBB Blog and am already hooked to it :)
So much that I myself feel like writing for it…
But between two kids , a 3 year old and an 11 month old, I doubt I’ll get the time anytime soon…

As for the contest , this is an incident that occurred 3 years back when I was teaching in a school…
(I am an M.A B.Ed and used to teach English and Hist/Civics to senior classes. I left when I was expecting my first child)

Well…

We normally give out worksheets once a chapter is over to the students and I was to prepare a worksheet on Articles/Determiners for std.VI.
I was going through various books to make a worksheet and had to choose between the paragraph type worksheet or one with deifferent sentences. The paragraph one was about fruits with blanks for articles but I chose to make one with different sentences.

So I made the worksheet and next day handed it over to my H.O.D for proof reading.
I was taking a class when one of my colleagues came with the worksheet and asked me , ‘ what were you thinking while making this worksheet ?’ I gave her a baffled look.
She then showed me my worksheet and told me to read the question.

Well… The question should have been ‘Read the sentences given below and inserts articles where ever necessary’ . Instead the question read ‘ Read the sentences given below and insert ‘oranges’ where ever necessary! ‘

took me quite an effort to hold back my laughter and during the remaining class I would keep thinking about it with an extremely embarrassed look on my face and all the students wanted to know ‘ma’am what happened?’ !
And needless to say it was the talk of the staff room for quite a number of days!

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sangeeta gautam November 6, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Girl- Today i was cooking chicken, when i
added HARA DHANIYA , guess what
happened.
Boy – Pata nahi, tum batao
Girl- Chicken start dancing and singing
“ HUM PE YE KISNE HARA RANG DAALA…
MAAR DAALA-ALLAAHH

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sreya November 6, 2012 at 7:58 pm

moderation :( :( help :P

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Rashmita November 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Loads of love and Congrats to Team IMBB :-) lot more in store for the lovely people am sure

Here’s the joke:
Dost: Aaj Karwachauth hai, Biwi se Jhagda Solve
hua kya?

Santa: Haan Ghutno pe Chal ke Aayi thi Mere
Paas.

Dost: Bahut achche, Kya Boli?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa: Boli Palang ke Neeche se Nikal Aao, Aaj
Nahi Marungi :P

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sreya November 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

abhi tak comment moderation… wat i did?? :(

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radhika November 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm

its goes like….
plz dont drink water after eating fish….bcoz…fish starts to swim in water which causes “giligili” in stomach………:)

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Lakshmi November 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

My nephew is 2.5 years old and trying to speak slowly. He lives abroad and had a visit to India recently. We traveled in a auto rickshaw to a nearby place along with him. Once we reached the place, everyone got down from the auto rickshaw and my sister in law and nephew was still inside the auto and she was paying the driver.
My nephew instantly noticed everyone got one and immediately screamed “Help! Help! Help!”

We were startled by using this word and his presence of mind that too inside the auto rickshaw. The driver and everyone laughed heavily by this little one screaming for help when the whole family is around. :-))

And another day, he again screamed for help but in a taxi ..

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Divya Darshini November 6, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Congratulations Rati and Sanjeev!!!

Lots of funny stuff in my life. ;-)

This happened when i was in college and was on monthly budget. I love watching movies and any friend i was about to meet my first plan wud be to go for a movie and spend almost all my pocket money on movies. Having said these, One dear friend of mine who understood my craze for movies told me that at PVR, Forum mall morning show s at 10:00 am is only 60/-. So I made a plan with him for next day and decided to meet around 9. I am never late for movies infact i reached little early than 9 and sat out as they have nt even opened the mall. :-) My friend came close to 10, we went in bought tickets and thought we ll quickly grab sumthing to eat as e both were hungry. By the time we got our stuff and went inside lights were off and ads were playing on the screen. We found our row and our seats were in the middle of the row and there were people already sitting at the aisle seats. They gave us some place to walk to our seats and while i was walking i was staring at the screen. I was so engrossed in watching forgot i was carrying stuff in my hands, lost my balance and fell on to the seat. I was checking whether i spillt anything on my dress, I heard my friend screaming “get up Divs, get up”. then i realized i was sitting on the lap of some guy and everybody around are laughing. And there i was, instead of getting up from there i too started laughing loud for atleast a minute and this guy comes closer to me and asks “Do you wanna get up now or you wanna sit for some more time”. I quickly got up said sorry and we went and sat in our seats. Though he didnt repeat the incident to anyone, we always have a hearty laugh when we plan for a movie. :-D

P.S:- Sorry for long narration..very bad at writing.:-(

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Divya Darshini November 6, 2012 at 11:11 pm

A witty one..:-)

An uncle asks a girl who is drinking..Sharam nai aati!! ladki hoke drink kar rahi ho?.
Ladki: Abhi kya, do peg keliye gender change karlu kya..:-P

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Nidhi November 6, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Read somewhere and decided to share
If flipcart starts Matrimonial services they
will become No.1 site…
Know why??
Because they have 30 days Return Policy.

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Preetee November 6, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Congrats Rati!
This was when I was in Engg College. On the last day of our Semester exam, we girls ( grp of 6) decided to go 4 a movie.. We booked the tickets for ‘Titanic’. As usual we all took a long time to meet at a common place… Luckily the movie got delayed by an hour and we were happy that we didnt miss it… So the movie started at 4 in the evening., there were ads that started of spme movie.. With Anil Kapoor, Raveena Tandon and Kader Khan… Went on 4 abt 10 mins… We waited patiently for cute Leonardo and Kate to come.. Slowly it dawned that they wouldnt be coming… WE WERE IN THE WRONG THEATRE! With some stupid movie running … :( By the time ut ended, all of us had headaches… The incident was so stupid that we didnt disclose it to neone.. We still have a hearty laugh thinking abt it now:)

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saloni November 6, 2012 at 11:36 pm

A guy was walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well.

He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming. He panicked and started to pray, “God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I’ll stop drinking!”

Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was getting closer!

He prayed again, “God, please get my foot out and I’ll stop drinking and cursing!”

Still nothing ….. and the train was just seconds away!

He tried it one more time, “God please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I’ll quit drinking, cursing, smoking and flirt with all the women I meet.”

Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he was able to dive out of the way, just as the train passed!

He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said, “Thanks anyway God, I got it out myself.”

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Nidhi November 7, 2012 at 12:24 am

This incident took place a few years back when I was in Kolkata shopping for my wedding attire. We had only two more days left when my fiance called me up and said “Tomorrow one of my friend’s is going to kolkata and I am sending something special for you. just go and meet him at the airport and he will give you the parcel”
I was super excited and the next day with my two cousins I went to the airport to greet his friend. He arrived promptly and gave me a carry bag with a broad smile and said this is for you. I couldn’t resist and opened the bag to find two extra large packs of UNCLE CHIPSSS

My cousins looked at me and started laughing like morons. Then I realised the date was 1st April.

Till this date my hubby keeps teasing with “I Love Uncle Chips “

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PRIYANKA November 7, 2012 at 12:44 am

G8 Stuff written by all.I m sure all must had good time pre n post writing it as had brought a recap of the whole incident live again ….like all i too had to select the best of all kachara moment.It started wit a fresh day in my New office …i had a strict neighbour colleague who’s presence always came wit sheer bad luck to me .On tat particular day i promised i wud b aloop to her forever,as the morning tea session in office passed by a senior officer was taking round in our floor he had a Terrible Problem of sneezing n running nose …….ever1 nicknamed him “Vaccum cleaner” for it …..the moment he was at my cabin my fussy colleague stared laughing as an actual vaccum cleaner n him ver making there noise ….i had to control myself as he was standing just front of me( worst situation )…….as the volume lowere of actual she made a nasty remark”Yucks” which fell on his ears …….. i had a pretty bad timg by raisng my head on tat pretty moment …..as a true LIP synching ………….i had to glob down his thosand expression face………i hope he is not writting his embarassing cum funny moment for this contest ……….Guess wat the same colleague is my BFF n the senior got his medication done …now he is a silencer n avoids me ……..( i miss his running nose though i guess )

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Triya November 7, 2012 at 3:13 am

something funny happened today, thought i’d share it here, seeing so many funny incidents posted here :)
Today in our hostel ka mess, we were discussing about racism, and I was arguing how Indians are one of the most racist people, and not others. We have stuffed naan today (one of the rare good food in our mess….but I am digressing) and my friend who was arguing against me, took the ‘maida’ naan (we have ‘atta’ and ‘maida’ naan) as it came., and I suddenly said, “see you’re so racist you prefer the white naan instead of the coloured one!” and everyone started laughing….(yeah agreed somewhat geeky joke, but that’s what college does to you I suppose. (I was pleased that nobody found a counter-argument for that!!))

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Rashmita November 7, 2012 at 8:25 am

Boy1:Meet my wife Tina

Boy2.Oh! I know her

Boy1:How?

Boy2:v were caught sleeping together

Boy1:What the hell?
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Boy2.during lecture in history class

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Rashmita November 7, 2012 at 8:28 am

At Dinner Little Jhonny Was Ordered To Lead In Prayer.
Little Jhonny: “But I Dont Know How To Pray?”
Dad: “Just Pray For Your Family Members, Friends And Neighbours, The Poor, Etc”
Little Jhonny Started The Prayer:
Dear Lord, Thank You For Our Visitors And Their Children, Who Finished All My Cookies And Ice Cream. Bless Them So They Wont Come Again.
Forgive Our Neighbor’s Son, Who Removed My Sister’s Clothes And Wrestled With Her On Her Bed.
This Coming Christmas, Please Send Clothes To All Those Poor Na*ed Ladies On My Daddy’s Iphone
And Provide Shelter For The Homeless Men Who Use Mom’s Room When Daddy Is At Work.
Amen
Dinner Was Cancelled.

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Rashmita November 7, 2012 at 8:29 am

A man moves into a nu*ist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.

Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nu*ist colony, he cuts a photo in half, but accidentally sends her the bottom half of the picture.

He is really worried when he realizes that he has sent the wrong half. But then he remembers how bad his grandmother’s eyesight is and hopes she won’t notice.

A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says:

“Thank you for the picture. You should change your hair style… it makes your nose look too short

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Daks November 7, 2012 at 9:50 am

I read it somewhere and really laughed a alot….

Entry to Heaven

“If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday School class.

“NO!” the children all answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”

Again, the answer was, “NO!

“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, “NO!”

“Well,” I continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”

A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!”

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Shuchi November 7, 2012 at 10:24 am

i started cooking when i got married. i used to update my husband now and then about my progress. few months after our marriage we were in a nuclear family, when i started to cook on day1 i was totally confused what to do, so i opened the page on internet which teaches how to cook rice in the open container…. as soon as my husband saw this he started laughing. even now he used to make fun of me when i make rice in cooker. and says make rice in open container not in cooker :P

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saras November 7, 2012 at 11:04 am

this happened a while ago, some little girls came to my house, my bro who was still a bit sleepy as he had just woken up opened the door they asked “saras di hai?” my bro heard sardi (cold) instead of saras di and said “pagal ho itni to garmi ho rahi hai” (are you mad it is so hot) we all started laughing :)

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Su November 7, 2012 at 11:17 am

Santa & Banta got tired using mobile cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send sweet messages. And this plan worked very fine.

One day Santa sends his pigeon.

Banta sees, the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any sweet message.

Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.

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Su November 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

Angry boss: Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?

Employee: (sar jhuka ke) Nahi sir

Boss: Neeche kya dekh rahe ho? Meri taraf dekho

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Rajshree November 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

The Funniest matrimonial proposal i ever received. I laughed my guts out when i read. I m sure u wud too :D

Hi Hello Namaste
Just wanted to write a mail to introduce myself ,
Let me start by writing a . Bio-data what so ever
“”” Well i am a male to me precise , aged 27 years 1 month and 27 days
old today, an Aquarian in fact ………. very typical. And i stand
168 cm tall !!!
Well about my skin color, i just discovered that fair and handsome
fairness cream does not work and on the other hand you can see me in
the evening so am not pitch dark either , so i leave it to your
creative imagination my skin color.
About my eyes , brown , world looks better with my glasses on and the
world i know also has the same opinion about me ( right -0.5 and left
-0.75 )
Education ,Schooling happened in — Public school , no idea
what was i doing till 10th grade, i was like”” one taare zameen par “”
, later i got a bit serious as the world had great expectations from
me …… wanted to be a doctor so took biology too seriously till i
discovered that mugging up was not my trait , i like logic ……..
took up Engineering in –_College) ……… so
this engineering life some how started , was a good
student FCD all long , went in paragon hawai chappali to my job
interview and came out with a offer letter, ( i had still not started
shaving ) , ….joined job…. …. did non sense work
for 1.5 yrs …. got bored…. i always wanted to study further …..
all my friends went to USA via frankfurt for MS ……… well i just
got down there ……… when to — University
and ya got a job in networks R&D;as RF design
Engineer , i like my job at last !!!
The only thing A+ is my blood group ……….. don’t try to find it
in my marks card ……. but you can …. B+
A bit about my family ……..intellectually more close to my mom than
dad , in humor more close to dad than mom , a big bathroom singer am i
as my dad …….. my elder brother) and
me are two opposite characters but well complimented …… he
is also a MSc in Microbiology and is an Assitant Manager is
Miller ……… they make beer ….. he is a taster and
in quality , (“No” we are not a family of booozers or drinkers, that’s
his job for god sake bread and butter ) , but i drink socially , i
drink only beer 1 glass in 2hrs ….. if you want to call it drinking
…. i don’t smoke but have tried it …….. drugs not tried till
date …no plans also !!!
My Dad is Retried Manager of – Bank ,
Mom is a home maker and a local social worker respected in the
locality for her work …… she is involved in managing a door to
door garbage collection and segregation an NGO basically run by a
retired Brigadier (“No” she does not collect garbage we have people to
do that , she audits, motivates and makes sure the show is running
smoothly). We have a German shepherd dog , very well behaved actually
its has more sense that me sometimes……….. may be that’s
the reason we don’t get along lolz (am allergic to dog fur).
I current hobbies are swimming swimming and swimming (L – board)!!!! I
am a very good super duper self proclaimed egomaniac lazy chef ( dare
you call me a bawarchi ) . I am sensitive , humorous , if am serious for 3 or more days i need a
doctor , i like to make friends , i like my freedom and also give
people their freedom. I have my bit of Ego and pride ,am a bit
confused with the two, I hide my feelings, if i go silent that means
am annoyed. Sometimes i like to be alone.
By the way you might have had a fair image of me right now ,
If interested do let me know !!!
Thank you for your patience!!!!

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Mairaj Fatima November 7, 2012 at 11:26 am

7 True Facts About Girls

1. Most Important Thing For Girls Is FINANCIAL SECURITY !

2. Although This Is Important, They Still Go Out & Buy Expensive Clothes !

3. Although They Always Buy Expensive Clothes, they Never Have Anything Good To Wear !

4. Although They Never Have Anything Good To Wear, They Always Dress Beautifully !

5. Although They Always Dress Beautifully, They Are Never Satisfied !

6. Although They Are Never Satisfied, They Still Expect People To Compliment Them !

7. Although They Expect People To Compliment Them, When They Do, They Don’t Believe People!! :D

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Su November 7, 2012 at 11:26 am

“Daddy, I’d like to help and old man. Can I have some money? A rupee maybe two?

“Well done my son! That is a very nice gesture! Here’s 5 bucks. Now where is that poor man?”

“He’s down the street selling ice cream!”

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Aalishba Khan November 7, 2012 at 11:41 am

A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says “no, let me see the next room.” In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, “I pick this room.” Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, “O.K., coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!”

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Maansi November 7, 2012 at 11:53 am

I would like to share one funny incident.

Sum years back,we had a family outing to Vrindavan.
And the priests dere force you to shell out money stating stupid rituals, etc.
So my DAD had got rly tired of shelling out money at each foot step!.
So den we went to dis temple, whr my mom n maasi were standing towards the front..n the preist started chanting sum MAntras.., gave sum sort of SUHAAG ki nishani(a token of being married) to both my mom and MAASI(aunt)and asked for dakshina.
ANd my dad gave him sum money and said “HUm saath main hai”..wen he replied..dat dis SPell was for SUHAAG (ur groom)(ofcourse he wanted extra bucks!!)…and my dad was rly UNineterstd in listein to wateva lame the preist said..n jus unknowingly said..HAAN WO BHI EK HI HAI!!
n me , my mom ,,n maasi,….we jus cudnt help ..and burst with laughter!!
N yup my dad made sure not to shell extra money even if dr were different SUHAAGs concerened..:p!

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Su November 7, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Ek baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot) Ud raha tha full speed par.

Uske saamne achanak full speed mein ek Ferrari aa rahi thi, dono ki takkar hui…

Totaa behosh hoga ya, raste mein ek bhikari tha usne Totaa ko uthaya aur ghar le gaya.

Usko marham lagaya aur pinjare mein rakh diya.

Jab Totaa ko hosh aaya, usne apne aap ko pinjare mein dekha.

Aur bola, “Aalia … JAIL …. Woh Ferrari ka driver mar gaya kya ??

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Shruti November 7, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I was having dinner with Vishwanathan Anand and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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radhika November 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend.

They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they’re just lying there, the phone rings.

Since it’s the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

“Hello? Oh, hi… I’m so glad that you called… Really? That’s wonderful…. Well, I’m happy

to hear you’re having such a great time… Oh, that sounds terrific… Thanks. Okay. Bye bye.”

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, “Who was that?”

“Oh” she replies, “That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with you.”

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radhika November 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this

money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago”, the homeless woman told me.

“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” I asked.

“No, I don’t waste time shopping,” the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” I asked.

“Are you NUTS !” replied the homeless woman. ” I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”

“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.”

The homeless woman was shocked. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”

I said, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.”

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radhika November 7, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Uss din dosti se bharosa uth gaya mera..jab apne hi dost Ne classroom mei keh diya……
PADHNE DE YAAR :D

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radhika November 7, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Girls Ki shopping!!
Lena kuch nahi hota
Ye dekho!
Wo dekho!
Ye kya hai!
Wo kya hai!
5 ghante lagaati hai…
Fir golgappe kha ke wapis aa jati hai :D

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SHEFALI GOYAL November 7, 2012 at 12:37 pm

height of facebook addiction:
A boy’s fb status- ‘ i m onlyn on fb during lecture’.
comment 4m his professor- ‘get out of the class’
Dean liked the comment.
frns commented- ‘jaldi cafe aa ja, mahol ekdun fit hai’
mom commented- ‘NALAIK, class ni karni to sabzi le kar seedha ghar aa’
dad commented- ‘dekhlo apne bete ki harkate’
gf commented- ‘i hate u, mujhse kaha dadi hospital me hai, mil ni sakte the.’
daadi commented- ‘MANHUS. ghar aa, abhi tujhe batati hu’ !!!

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iswarya laxmi November 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Once I was in a big resturant bathroom at a public place, and came out of the it to wash my hands after dinner in the washarea. As I came up to the sink a boy was washing his hands in the sink right next to me. he looked in the mirror at himself and said “hey darling, how are you?” I glanced at him, “Im fine, how are you?” he turned and looked at me and gave me a irritated look, then he looked back down at her hands. “So how is your job?” I looked at him wondering if I knew him or if he knew me..I couldn’t recall him. So I answered back “it’s fine? hey Do I know you?” he gave me a confused weird look and walked over .. then I just noticed she had a Bluetooth in her ear. he was talking to his girlfriend on phone and walked away as he quickly left the place as he was afraid of me thinking i am some stranger trying to know his personal details and propose him. I just looked in the mirror and couldn’t help but laugh..very hard. Then someone walked out of the same bathroom looking at me like I was crazy and mad, standing there laughing at me.he was noticing everything. I felt very embarassed and left quickly. i was running like a mad ninja to home.after reaching home told everyone about it and we were rolling on the floor and laughing. i didnt knew what to tell “poor guy” or” poor me ” eh??

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jaye November 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

MEN WILL ALWAZ BE MEN:
Once a group of men went to a devoutional journey…….
Their guru said,”dont get distracted if u c a beautiful girl……………………………..jst close ur eyes nd say “HARI OM”………”

two days later one of them said “HARI OM”
and everyones reaction was
“WHERE??????????”

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sindhu November 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm

A man sits in a bar just staring at his drink for about twenty minutes. A big guy
comes up to him, takes his drink and drinks it down in one. The man starts to cry.
The big guy tells him not to cry as he was only messing about and offers to
replace his drink. “That’s not the problem” said the man “What a day I have had. Started off, the alarm didn’t go off so I was late for work and got sacked. Going back to my car, it wasn’t there – someone had nicked it . When I got home, I realised that I must have dropped my wallet on the bus – all my money – gone. I then go upstairs to
find a note from my wife on the bed saying that she’s left me. And, just when I
think about killing myself, you come along and drink my cyanide.

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M November 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm

“I like wearing glasses. I remove them dramatically to display anger. It was awkward doing that with contact lenses.”

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sindhu November 7, 2012 at 1:55 pm

A man goes into a bar with his dog and bets the barman £50 that the dog can
answer his question. So the man says “what do you call the top of a building”? The
dog replies “roof”. The barman says “I’m not paying for that” so the man says
“Okay double or nothing” and asks the dog “Who is the best baseball player of all
time” The dog replies “Ruth”. “That’s enough “says the barman who picks them
both up and throws them out of the bar. As they hit the ground, the dog turns to his
owner and says “or maybe DiMaggio”.

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Babara Khan November 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm

i submitted a funny incident yesterday but cannot view it still. can anyone tell me why?

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himanshi November 7, 2012 at 6:12 pm

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand…nothing. So, I tried with my left hand…nothing. My wife tried with her right hand…nothing. Her left hand…nothing. Her mouth…nothing. Then my wife’s friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth….still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife’s friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn’t get the lid off of the specimen cup.

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Su November 7, 2012 at 7:48 pm

World’s Smallest resignation letter?

Respected sir,

I luv ur wife.

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Meghna November 7, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Pappu k dad ne pappu ko ek toy train
kharid kr di.
pappu us toy train se khelte huye kehne
laga: jis ullu k patthe ko utrna h utar jaye,
jis ullu k patthe ko chadna h chad jaye, rail
gaadi 2 min se jyada nhi rukegi :P
bacche k muh se ye bhasha sun kr pappu k
dad ko gussa aa gya usne pappu k gaal pe
thappad laga diya or bole: me 2 hrs k liye
bazar ja rha hu, tab tak tum sirf padai krna.
toy train k hath b mat lagana.
2 hrs bad jab wo wapas aaye to pappu ko
padte huye paya ye dekh kr unka dil pighal
gya or pappu ko fir se toy train se khelne
ki ijazat de di.
pappu fir se toy train se khelte huye
kehne laga : jis ullu k patthe ko utrna h
utar jaye, jis ullu k patthe ko chadna h chad
jaye,
rail gaadi pehle hi ek ullu k patthe ki wajah
se 2 ghante late ho chuki h :P :P :P

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Vijayalaxmi Palav November 7, 2012 at 10:08 pm

I hope I can post more than one. (Btw I am eyeing for the 2nd prize ;))(Had to research lot before posting lol)

1. I was the presiding over the organising committee for college IV. But in fourth year we are not suppose to. So naturally in fourth year girls used to come to me for suggestions for a short picnic of sorts(everyone was getting nostalgic about their last engineering year.) One of my friend suggested a place for one night out and I approved it but informing that she has to ask the entire class. She posted a poll on our facebook group. Here is how it read-”I have come up with this place ‘x’. Who all are in for a one night stand?”
I dont have to mention the various comments she got as it got very embarrassing for her(thank god it was a girl’s college). We had a real laugh later with lots of rofls…..

2. This is a joke I had heard when junior bachchan got married-
Its first night for Aishwarya and Abhishek. The next day Aishwarya gets up and goes to Amitabh gives him a chocolate and says, “Pappu pass ho gaya”

3. A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night’s special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. “The chicken sounds good; I’ll have that,” the woman says. The waiter nods. “And the vegetable?” he asks. “Oh, he’ll have the fish,” she replies.

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Hina November 8, 2012 at 8:46 am

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Yuck, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the back of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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Hina November 8, 2012 at 8:50 am

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ”Shut up…you’re next!”

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rahma zaidi November 8, 2012 at 1:25 pm

A couple were in their 60′s..

A fairy came and granted them both a wish…

Wife : I want to travel around
the world with my husband..

2 tickets for cruise appear in her hand,!

Husband : Sorry love !
but my wish is to have a wife 30
yrs younger than me..

Fairy waved her hand and
husband turned 92yrs.

Moral :- men who r ungrateful idiots,
shud remember
that fairies are females…!

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anshika gupta November 8, 2012 at 4:38 pm

hey rati di….
i will tell you a funny incident that happened with me…i was travelling in a rickshaw…i had to tell the rickshaw driver to take left turn…i thought so hard to decide what do you call left in hindi…then i told the driver “bhaiya ji baaye modna”…he said: “beta left ya right”
i was so stunned and shocked the very moment :p

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Alka Raghuwanshi November 8, 2012 at 8:51 pm

One girl went to a electronic shop with anger and
threw her new laptop on the desk at a person from
whom he bought.
She told the salesman that you
have cheated

me.
I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop..

Salesman : Madam, can you please try infront of me.

This is what She did,

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which she
wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected into the
other PC where she wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE
option.
.
.

Salesman DIED=))

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preethi November 8, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Congrats to IMBB team,for the achievement !! you people deserve ..
and coming to the joke..one fine day me and my grand mother ,we both are watching news channel in TV,its the news about collectors meeting with the CM
My grand ma : whose position is big collector/CM
me : CM
Grand ma : then y everyone tell kids u have to become collector but not CM
me: ?????

Its really a funny incident,i can’t even answer the question..any ways OLD IS GOLD..they are sharper than us..;)

P.S : pls tell me the answer and help me gurls..

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himanshi November 8, 2012 at 9:48 pm

An American Family-
Youngest Son: Dad, whats d diff btwn ‘hypothetically’ & ‘reality’?

Dad turns to wife: Would u sleep with Tom cruis for 1 million?

Wife: Of course! I would never waste such an opportunity.

Then Dad asks daughter: Would u sleep with Tom cruis for 1 Million?

Daughter: Yes He s my fantasy!

Dad asks elder son: Would u sleep with, Tom cruis for 1 million?

Elder Son: Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money!

Father turns to his younger son: You see son, ‘Hypothetically’ we r sitting wid 3 millionaires,
but in ‘Reality’ we r living wid 2 prostitutes & 1 gay Bastard!!!!i.:-):-)

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himanshi November 8, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Killing English

Teacher In A Furious Mood…

WriteDown Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!

Tomorrow Call Ur Parents EspeciallyMother And Father

“Why Are You Looking At The MonkeysOutside When I Am In The Class?!”

“KeepQuiet, The Principal Has Passed Away”

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Mansi November 9, 2012 at 12:03 am

A Huge Congratulations to Team IMBB for achieving 2 Lakh followers. U guys deserve much more…
The Goodies look amazing and thanks for sharing them …

Anyways as Diwali is approaching, I thought I will share a Diwali joke…

A mom asked her elder kid to explain Diwali to his younger brother…
He replied:
” So luk, this dude Ram had like a big kingdom & people liked him but, like his step mom or sumthing,was kinda bitch and she forced her hubby to send this Ram to sum jungle or sumthing…
Coz he was goin for 14 yrs, so his wife and bro got along..( U know just to chill)
But dude forest was really scary shit, was full of devils and shit like dat, But this dude killed them wid arrows…
But den sum bad gangsta – Ravan picked up his babe Sita..
Dis dude and his bro got pissd off…
So they got an Army of Monkeys.. dnt ask how…
Attacked dem…Got d babe and returned home…
People tot they atleast deserve sumthing..
Dey had no bars or clubs or stuff to party…
So they lit lamps…
N this is how it all started…

MOM FAINTED…!!!

And as you have asked to share funniest jokes, cant leave Rajnikant aside…. ;-)

Rajni is back –
* Rajnikant killed a terrorist in Pakistan…Via BLUETOOTH…
* Rajnikant can draw a straight line with a compass..
* Rajnikant knows who let d dogs out..
* Rajnikant has a statue of Madame Tussaud’s at his house..
* Rajnikant is a secret of Boost’s energy and Complan is Rajnikant’s boy…
* Rajnikant Intel’s new Ad – ‘Rajnikant inside’…
* When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had 2 missed calls from Rajnikant ….
* Rajnikant can whistle in 5 differwent languages… :-)

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Rashmita November 9, 2012 at 8:17 am

After an Emotional Hug..
Girl said to the Boy:
If u hug me once more like that,
i will be urs forever…
Boy:
Thanks for d warning… ;-)

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Samantha November 10, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Congrats you guys! :) So happy for you! And well, I am awful at narrating funny things that happen to me, so I’ll just stick with a favorite joke of mine:

Uncle Leroy got a job down at the Broom Factory.

On his first day the straw boss (Floor supervisor) calls ol’ Leroy into his little office and says, “You the new man huh? What is yer name?”

Leroy replied “Leroy”

The straw boss says “I don’t call anyone by first names. It breeds familiarity and that leads to breakdown in my Authority. I refer to all employees by last names; Now what is Your Last Name!”

Leroy sort of smiles and says, “Its Darling – Leroy Darling!

The Straw Boss said “Now Leroy the next thing……..” :D

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himanshi November 10, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Santa ka Promotion Inspector
se DSP
ho gya, Ghar aa kar Wife ko
aise andaz se
btaya, k Wife Behosh Hogae.

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???
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. .
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Bola:Aaj se Tu DSP k sath
Soyegi…!!! xD

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himanshi November 10, 2012 at 4:55 pm

English teacher: “one cute little girl is walking on the road”.change this into a pnjabi exclamatory sentence.”Student: “OYE PATAKA,buuuurrraahhhh”.

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himanshi November 10, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Girl :- Aaj mere Dil ka Operation hai ……………….
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Boy :- Pata hai …………….

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Girl :- I Love U ……………..
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Boy :- Main bhi bahot Pyaar karta hoon tumse ……….
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Operation ke baad jab Ladki ko hosh aaya

to sirf uska baap khada tha ………….
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Girl :- Wo kaha hai ?
.
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Father: Tumhe nahi pata tumhe Dil kisne diya hai ?
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Girl :- What ?

or zor zor se rone lagi ……………..
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Father :- Mazak kar raha hoon

Kamina bahar Samose Kha raha hai

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Waseema November 10, 2012 at 7:56 pm

A nice joke :)
2 cockroaches ICU mein ek doosre ke paas admit the.
1st cockroack — kisne maara ?
2nd cockroack — Arre koi na ahi, ye saali ladkiyan mujhe dekh kar itna chillati hai ki mujhe heart attack aa gaya.

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suroor November 10, 2012 at 8:05 pm

First of all Congratulations to IMBB for their awesome feat…
I dont know if this joke has been posted or not but here it goes :
Santa and Banta were travelling through a village where there lived a very dangerous Dacoit Babbar singh .Unfortunately Santa and Banta were caught by the Dacoit’s associates and brought in front of the Babbar singh. both of them start pleading for their life Babbar singh gives them the ultimatum that whoever tell him the funniest joke and on which every single person standing there laughs will be let free.so Santa goes first and tells a joke everyone present there laughs except Banta so babbar singh shoots Santa dead,then Babbar singh ask Banta to step forward and tell a joke,so Banta steps forward and starts to laugh hysterically Babbar singh ask him the reason for his laughter,Banta then stops and says ki Santa ka joke bahut zabardast tha mujhe ab samajh mein aya :-/

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apoorva November 10, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Girl 1: I am in love
Girl2: who is he??
Girl3: how does he look?
Girl4: wat color?
Girl5: how tall is he??
Girl6: wat is he doing?
Girl7: who r his frnds?
Girl8: total wealth?
After full inspection
All Girls: Be careful he might be a bad

guy.
Girl1: OK.
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.
Same situation
Boy1: I am in love
Boy2: Bhai Party
Boy3: Bhai Party
Boy4: Bhai Party
Boy5: Bhai Party
Boy6: Bhai Party
Boy7: Bhai Party
Boy8: Bhai Party….:D haha lol

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apoorva November 10, 2012 at 8:29 pm

young woman arrived to her doctor with black and blue signs of beating.

Doctor, “What happened?”

Woman, “Doctor, I do not know what to do, whenever my husband comes home drunk he beats the hell out of me, almost killing me.”

Doctor, “I have a really good medication for it. When your husband comes home drunk you just take a glass of Green tea and start to gargle and gargle, as much as you ca
n
do and that’s all you have to do”

Two weeks later the woman returns to the doctor reborn and with a grateful look in her eyes .

Woman: “Doctor, that was a brilliant medicine! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled and gargled with Green tea and nothing happened! He Has gone straight to bed.”

Doctor, “You see how it helps to keep your mouth shut !”

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Babita November 10, 2012 at 11:36 pm

JOKE:-
Husband said that he love to go along with his wife for the shopping and feel very happy when she use his credit card for the payment.

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Isheeta November 11, 2012 at 2:16 pm

wowww… Congo on 2 lacs fan!!! :))

funny incident?? hmm.. well, there’s one from when we used to live in the middle east..we had this little gym at home tucked away in a corner setting. Diwali days. They used to be a bit muted there..at-home thing. So, there went my mum cleaning curtains and pulling them down. Standing on a chair. And the next moment there came a huge crashing sound. We knew what must have happened as me, my dad, and brother rushed from our rooms to see my mum’s condition(my mum was a bit portly and round then). And what we see, just broke us down in hysteria! There went my mum hurrying to a cycling machine and rushing on to take a couple of rounds hurriedly. She was puffing away, with the curtains and chair toppled over where she must have fallen.
Well, the scenario definitely was one of shock and hilarity!!! :-P

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krishti November 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

this is a really funny joke that i heard,
The internals exams were on at a college and 4 guys hadn’t studied anything so they decided to skip the exams.the next day they go to college and inform the dean that they were coming to college in a car and one of the tires burst so they couldn’t arrive in time for the exam.the dean asked them to give the exam on a later date.Now when they came to give their exams they were made to sit in separate rooms and the question paper was something like this- q.1.write your name.(1 marks)
q.2.which of the four tires burst?(99 marks) :D :D

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shailey November 12, 2012 at 10:01 am

Wife saw board outside a shop –

Monsoon Offer Only for today :
Banarsi saree 10/-
Nylon 8/-
Cotton 5/-

Excited Wife to Hsbnd: Give me Rs. 500, I’ll buy 50 sarees

Hsbnd – Birbal ki ma, istri ki dukan hai vo !!

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Mayuri November 12, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Congratulations IMBB team!!!! :) :)

Here goes a joke:
A guy was siting in d toilet wen someone frm the adjacent toilet said,
1: Hi, how r u ?

He got embarrassed n said,
2: I m fine.

1: So wat r u up to?

2: Wel, just sitting lyk u.

1: Can i cum over?

2: No! R u crazy?

1: Listen I wil call u back. There is an idiot in d other toilet answering me

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angel geet November 13, 2012 at 7:10 pm

this is funniest incident of my childhood…

me and my cousin sister wer playing outside our home with a big rubber ball.while playing she suddenly started playing alone with that ball. i got angry and went to her n said, give that ball else i ll burst it right now .
she said go ahead, i took the ball from her hand n placed between my palms n crushed it badly,all this while i was looking at her in anger n she was looking at ball in shock.she rushed to her mom n started crying over this incident…
we laugh like mads whenever we recall this. :p :D

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angel geet November 13, 2012 at 7:27 pm

my cousin sis had bought a barbie doll which came along with little kelly. she was overjoyed with both the dolls. i asked her to give kelly to me, she denied this. my nani was watching all this n she secrectly took kelly n placed in my bag. my cousin sis started searching for doll as soon as she realised its missing.
she figured it out that my nani did this, she went to nani n stood in centre of room n started shouting ” ek mummy n daughter ko alag karne ka apko koi haq nai hai, aap nai kar sakte aisa” n took keely with her n went in her room..
we all bursted out laughing at her words.. :D :D :D :D

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srishti sawarn November 14, 2012 at 2:48 pm

is the giveaway over???? i guess m late..!! but i would really like to share something. i got my job in TCS recently coz of IMBB. thank u so much..!! actually i had mentioned my interest in fashion in my resume and they found it interesting and started asking me questions about it. they asked me which blogs i follow and i emphasised over imbb and its owner RATI as i read so many articles from this blog and i have got to know abt so many products and fashion trends. thanxx a lot RATI !!! u made my life..!!! thanx IMBB gang..<3<3<3..!!

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raga November 14, 2012 at 3:13 pm

it happened with my frnd……
we r civil engineering students, part of our assignment we have submit buiding plan chart..so me my frnd and some students went to staff room to submit chart.Below plan we need to mention scale representing diagram and actual building size. She forgot to mention it ,sir asked where is the scale…she left the room and returned in 2 min bringing camlin scale and said sir u asked for a scale…me other students faculty burst out LAUGHING…….from dat scene all remember her well by scale….

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su November 15, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Here goes some funny definitions

Adult–A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

Beauty Parlor–A place where women curl up and dye.

Cannibal–Someone who is fed up with people.

Chickens –The only animals you eat before they’re born and after they’re dead.

Committee–A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Dust–Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Egotist– Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Handkerchief–Cold storage.

Inflation–Cutting money in half without damaging the paper

Mosquito –An insect that makes you like flies better.

Raisin–Grape with a sunburn.

Secret–Something you tell to one person at a time.

Skeleton –A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Tomorrow–One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Toothache–The pain that drives you to extraction.

Wrinkles–Something other people have. You have character lines

Yawn–An honest opinion openly expressed.

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Pearl November 16, 2012 at 11:22 am

One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp.

Reluctantly, the genie said, “Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss.”

So the man agreed and made his first wish. “I want lots of money”, he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man’s bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss’ account.

For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss’ house appeared two of each car.

Finally the genie said, “This is your last wish, you should choose carefully”, and so the man replied… “I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney…”

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Neha Mishra November 16, 2012 at 11:36 am

A very big congratz to IMBB for getting 2 lakh fans…. :D May u guys keep on growing like this and keep on providing us with expert makeup and fashion advice!!! :)

This is a joke i read in Readers Digest and i found it quite amusing…I hope it makes u guys smile too.. :)

Two guys were playing golf, and they were annoyed because there were two women ahead of them playing very slowly. One of the guys decided to ask if they could play through. He walked over about halfway, they suddenly turned around very quickly and came back.
‘That was close,’ he said. ‘One of those women is my wife, and the other one is my mistress! If they’d both recognised me, I’d have been in real trouble.’
‘Don’t worry,’ the other guy said. ‘I’ll go ask if we can play through.’
He started over towards them, then he, too, suddenly turned back.
‘Talk about your coincidences.’

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poorna November 16, 2012 at 11:36 am

How does a blonde kill a fish?
She drowns it. :D

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Nidhi November 16, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Teacher: Agar 1 aam ke ped par 10 kele lage hain, aur unn mein se 7 amrood tod liye to kitne angoor bache?

Student: Sir 9 Haathi

Teacher: Wah tumhe kaise pata chala?

Student: Sir kyunki main aaj lunch mein gobhi ki sabzi laya hoon..

Moral of the Story: Roz brush karo warna petrol mehnga ho jayega..!

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Waseema November 16, 2012 at 3:26 pm

i realised just now my joke isnt showing up booohhhh :(

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Waseema November 16, 2012 at 3:27 pm

i posted it on nov 10th

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Sanjeev November 6, 2012 at 11:07 am

Ladki, ab woh rocking chair saat janamon tak mere saath rahegi :P bhool jaao use, kabhi yaad aaye to dil par patthar rakh lena :P

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