Prewedding Anxiety: Ask IMBB

Ask IMBB Gang

Rashmi Desai asks:

Hi Gals,

Need your advice, especially Rati and other married gals on IMBB.  My marriage is on 30th November, this is a typical arranged marriage.  My fiance is a really good person and he loves me a lot 🙂 The only thing is whenever we go out, he comment on gals.  For example, look how she has dressed, she’s looking good, and this really disturbs me and this is the third time he did the same.  The first time, I ignored, the second time, I discussed with him, he said he looks at gals just to imagine how I would look in the same dress, I told him I do not like, but now it is the third time.  I really don’t know what to do, I am kind of a reserve person and really feel insecure 🙁

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10 thoughts on “Prewedding Anxiety: Ask IMBB

  1. Hi Rashmi, first of all, congratulations and best wishes for your marriage. Though I understand your situation, I feel its completely harmless and normal, and that there’s nothing you should be worried about. Unless the comments are offensive or too uncomfortable for you to handle, I feel you can just bond over it. Actually, after a few days, you would only tell him “look there’,
    “see there” “i want that outfit” *hihi* *hihi* *hihi* *hihi* *hihi* *hihi* I do that *jalwa* *jalwa* *jalwa* *jalwa*

    Its completely normal and best wishes again *pompom*

    1. Hi thanks for posting my query…… Hmm his comments are normal nt harsh… But as I said its arrangemarriage I am little insecure…….. But after reading all ur suggestions I am relaxed nw … 🙂

  2. Hi Rashmi,
    I completely understand how it must be to be on the receiving side of such comments.
    I agree with Jomol above. If the comments are not offensive and lewd, it is harmless.
    However, as you both get to know each other with time, you can discuss this again with him and ask him to stop. I am sure he will understand that such things disturb you so much. You will also get to know with time how to make your husband understand your point 🙂 🙂

    Dont worry and everything will be just fine. *pompom* *pompom*

  3. Hi rashmi.. first of all congrajulations.. *pompom* *oye balle*
    I read ur query several times and finally came into few conclusions, I hope it won’t be offensive in anyway.. 😛 As far as my memory lane I came across some issues and I feel ur prblm may somewhere resemble them. The first issue usually arrives when our guy feel hesitant to tell us directly as to how we shud normally dress up infront of them, may be ur issue falls in this category: for this I guess u knw hw to deal wid him, just tell him next time i’ll dress up like her & u need nt to take examples of other gals. He’ll definitely appreciate ur thought and stop his habit there by as per my belief.. 😛
    Secondaly if he is too obsessed wid other gals (pls forgive me its general talk. :P) in that case also u need to dress up sensually and gorgeous and let ther guys look at u and ur guy shud knw that other guys are noticing u.. *hihi* it sounds funny but very soon u’ll get rid of his habit belive me..
    If u ever ask these guys to stop this or that they nvr pay attention.. *nonono* but once u do tit for tat ur prblm is solved in seconds.. *secret* *hihi* I remember my hubby ws too obsessed wid fb chats in our early wedding years, i asked his several times to pay attention towards his new couple life but he always aksed for space n blah blah then one fine day I simply created my fb account and started chit chats every now n then wihtout looking at him belive me.. *secret* *hihi* He could not stand my tantrums even 2 days and 3rd day finally he litearlly begged me to take out few moments for our couple life, He was so scared to even touch his lappy after that incident.. *hihi* *hihi* . *hihi* *hihi*
    Gud luck gal!!

  4. Dear Rashmi,
    I totally understand what you’re saying. If I were in your place I would not like it either. However, you don’t have to feel insecure or worried about it at all. I totally agree with what Jomol has said- It’s harmless if it’s just casual comments. Since you’ve already told him that you don’t like it and he still does not seem to understand, you can also start passing similar comments (in jest of course) about random guys *hihi* *hihi* If he doesn’t like it (most guys don’t like it :D), that will drive home your point! *haan ji* *haan ji*

    Also, if you haven’t already done so, please lay your hands on the book/pdf ‘Men are from Mars, Women from Venus’ and read it. It’s fun to read, hilarious and it highlights how common problems/misunderstandings occur in relationships due to starkly different perspectives that men and women generally have about everything 🙂

    Last but not the least, best wishes for your marriage!!

  5. I’m not married but I felt like I should try to help since marriage is a big decision and obviously this habit of his is irking you. Even if its harmless, I feel that he should consider your emotions and let it go. Have another talk with him. That being said, its completely natural to appreciate beauty without ofcourse, making anyone uncomfortable. Maybe he wants you to dress like them and since, I assume, he’s not known you for long, is shy to tell you directly?
    Since you’re a reserved person, this might be a little weird, but next time you go out, make it a point to appreciate how other men look. Don’t make it seem too obvious or like letting him have a taste of his medicine; that’ll bring about bitterness. Just comment naturally like “Hey look that guy’s really fit, I wonder if he works out regularly?” Or “The shirt that guy’s wearing is so nice, maybe we should get you a similar one, eh?” And if he feels uncomfortable about it, don’t say it outright that you were doing it to let him know how you feel. Just say that if it makes him uncomfortable you’ll stop but he’d have to do the same.
    Hope it works oyt alright for you. Best of luck!

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