Quotes on Women, Makeup and Beauty

by Sanjeev on June 9, 2010 · 72 comments

I have been into reading nearly all my life. But those millions of pages of Kafkas, Lawrences, Rushdies never taught me how to deal with a women going crazy over Viva Glam. The entire literature world has no idea how dangerous it is to give a credit card into a woman’s hand when she is going to Select Citywalk. I do. As someone said, women would be the last thing civilized by man. Although I had learnt a lot from the jokes post on makeup, it was not enough. So I thought I would search the internet and learn some more things about women and their ways. And I learnt a lot. For example, I learnt why women never are not much into sports. They already play a sport. It is called Shopping. And the quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. And I also learnt that

every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.- Paris Hilton

Now that I cannot pay for the Jaguar, I would have to compensate for it in the other mentioned areas.  ;-) Anyhow, given below are some of the insights I gathered from the wise people on the internet. Many of them are on makeup. Enjoy!

“It is better to be looked over than to be overlooked.”– Mae West

“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”  ~Author Unknown

“Can you imagine a world without men?  No crime and lots of happy fat women.”  ~Nicole Hollander

“The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.” “The chief excitement in a woman’s life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. ” ~Helen Rowland

“Women have two weapons – cosmetics and tears” “Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little. ” ~Samuel Johnson

“Curve:  The loveliest distance between two points.”  ~Mae West

“Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.”– Mae West

“It’s the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.”  ~Tallulah Bankhead

“The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.”–Maureen Murphy

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”-  Oscar Wilde

“I’m not against half naked girls – not as often as I’d like to be. ” ~Benny Hill

“It is the plain women who know about love; the beautiful women are too busy being fascinating.”- Katharine Hepburn

“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”

“If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt. ” ~Thomas Carlyle

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.– Mae West

“Kiss and make up–but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.”-  Mae West

“The best thing is to look natural, but it takes makeup to look natural”- Calvin Klein

“I’d have to say that, in general, models take themselves too seriously. Basically, they are genetic freaks who spend a couple of hours in hair and makeup.”– Rebecca Romijn Stamos

“I want to be a guy, but I want to wear a lot of makeup.”– Gwen Stefani

“It is said that no star is a heroine to her makeup artist”– Richard Corliss

“Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl’s best beauty aid is still a near-sighted man”–  Yoko Ono

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.” — Elayne Boosler

“She’s not wearing makeup so her face just looks like skin.”— Chuck Palahniuk

And now for some serious ones:

“When I was your age…I wish I’d known that I already had everything I needed within myself to be happy, instead of looking for happiness at beauty counters.”- Ilene Beckerman

“Isn’t that the problem? That women have been swindled for centuries into substituting adornment for love, fashion (as it were) for passion? All the cosmetics names seemed obscenely obvious to me in their promises of sexual bliss. They were all firming or uplifting or invigorating. They made you tingle. Or glow. Or feel young. They were prepared with hormones or placentas or royal jelly. All the juice and joy missing in the lives of these women were to be supplied by the contents of jars and bottles. No wonder they would spend twenty dollars for an ounce of face makeup or thirty for a half-ounce of hormone cream. What price bliss? What price sexual ecstasy?”–  Erica Jong

Do let us know which one of these truths did you like the most? :)

{ 67 comments… read them below or add one }

HD June 9, 2010 at 4:42 pm

Lovely Lovely post Mr. Singh….I liked everyone of it!!! :-)

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 5:02 pm

Thanks :-) You’d like this one much more:

http://makeupandbeauty.com/funny-makeup-jokes-cartoons/

Reply

HD June 9, 2010 at 7:24 pm

Oh I’ve read tht n liked it too :)

Reply

Rati June 9, 2010 at 4:45 pm

My fav is this ” The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself. ” :-D :-D :-D :-D

Reply

Radhika June 9, 2010 at 4:50 pm

Oh there are some who are pleased with their eyelashes too :-D

Reply

Priyanka June 9, 2010 at 6:26 pm

Even i know of one.. but that’s an exception you know she’s a Queen..!!! :rotfl: :rotfl:

Reply

Rati June 9, 2010 at 7:45 pm

Priyanka. :-* :-* :-*

Reply

Rati June 9, 2010 at 7:45 pm

lolll!!! I got obsessed with them the other day. :D

Reply

Radhika June 9, 2010 at 4:45 pm

Hii..you pop once in a while at IMBB and leave these entertaining posts – this was a fun read :-)
.-= Radhika´s last blog ..Lush Ocean Salt Face and Body Scrub =-.

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 5:18 pm

Thank you :)

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 4:53 pm

Mr. Singh….my jaw dropped and am sitting still like that…………..@Rati……I know all *#^^@#^(@#(@# secrets of you now…. ;-) ;-) . I dn’t know whether its fortunate or unfortunate but most of it stands true for me….like nowadays, I feel happy when I see women who are more fat than me and more the count, more relaxed I am, it makes my day!!!!!! :-D .

When I am depressed or blue, I go shopping or eat a lot of comfort food (meaning foods with high fat and sugar content).

Here I would like to quote Helena Rubinstein, who said, ““There are no ugly women, only lazy ones.”

But, tell me what will be the world without us girls….what would all of guys do? ?:-)

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 4:58 pm

ummm… savour the silence? 8-) :P :P

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Ha ha….I think the moment the women become extinct on earth, God will take the fuse off earth….men will make the earth so dirty with their empty cans, dirty underwear, and cigarette butts, that God will regret why he made earth in the first place :-)

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Lady, if you are taking God to be a HE, he’ll join the party :P :P

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 5:12 pm

But we men would never want our women to vanish… after all, they are the only ones who seem to know where our clothes, underwears and socks are *sigh* :-)

Reply

Lydia June 9, 2010 at 5:10 pm

interesting read Mr. Singh….enjoyed every bit of it….

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 5:13 pm

Thanks :) just wanted to change the mood here.

Reply

Sunaina June 9, 2010 at 5:22 pm

Nice quotes! I like this one

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed

It reminds me of Chuck from Gossip Girl.
Something he would say. He is so smooth!
.-= Sunaina´s last blog ..Happy housewife =-.

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 5:25 pm

Lol, there are two kinds of men in this world- one who know how to flatter women and the others who remain single. ;-)

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 5:28 pm

of course, God is a “He”….thats why he thought what a bore it would be for other “he’s” and did the other “he’s” by making beautiful creations like women. :-D

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 5:31 pm

of course, God is a “He”….thats why he thought what a bore it would be for the other “he’s” and did the other “he’s” a favor by making beautiful creations like women.

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Or maybe he wanted some peace and quiet, and packed women’s bags and sent them to earth… :P but we’re not complaining. Women are the only opposite sex we’ve got :-D

Reply

Rima Kaur June 9, 2010 at 5:34 pm

great post sanjeev! all the above mentioned quotes are not only witty but also thought provoking. oscar wilde has always cracked me up and this time too, he doesn’t disappoint. “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” excellent… excellent…

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Thank you :-) There’s one more that I remember by Oscar Wilde-

A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 5:40 pm

ha ha ha…I think we all have heard of Devdas, who died of cirrhosis after the girl in his life dumped him…..if we compare the ratio of men:women committing suicide in love failure cases, men are way much ahead……….so many men end their lives because they are unable to tolerate the loneliness when women have left them or dumped them…howzzat :-D :-))

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 5:46 pm

What! you never heard anyone dying of too much happiness?? :P

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 5:53 pm

well, I think I have heard of so many people dying in happiness and “overjoyed shock”………and amazingly those “people” comprise of only and only women whose husbands/boyfriends commited suicide, deserted them, dumped them, left them for another woman, divorced them….. :-D

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 5:55 pm

ummm… what did you say your husband’s phone number was? :-D

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 5:59 pm

oops…I suffer from “selective amnesia” ………BTW, you have got a lovely human being in your wife….I simply adore her…you must feel so lucky!!!!!!!! Imagine what would you have done, if you landed with somone like Lady Gaga. :-P

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 6:03 pm

Oh Rati and I had decided we would have extramarital with each other in case we got married to someone else. :-D And yes, everything you have said about her is more than true. :-)

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 6:12 pm

Really….. :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: ….but glad you two are together….don’t know you personally, but know from Rati that you are Mr. Right for her…… :-) …….but someday, I would wanna write a reply to this post and do a post about men’s behavior….should ask Rati….. :-)

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 6:20 pm

Oh you can certainly start writing. I am sure she would say yes. :-) It would be interesting to read. As for Mr. Right, I would like to be the right kind of ‘wrong’ guy for her. :-)

Reply

Lydia June 9, 2010 at 6:17 pm

^^When a woman dresses up for an occasion, the man should become the black velvet pillow for the jewel^^

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 6:32 pm

Lydia, I would be becoming black velvet pillow every day in that case :P

Reply

Priyanka June 9, 2010 at 6:22 pm

Wow Post..!!!

I loved this one :

” The entire literature world has no idea how dangerous it is to give a credit card into a woman’s hand when she is going to Select Citywalk. I do.” – Sanjeev Singh

Hahaha i can understand after all you have our Beauty Queen for your wife.. but you know the best thing is to look natural but to look natural she needs makeup..!!! :-D

@Rati: Now i know the secret behind your glow, Sanjeev bhaiya doesn’t treats you like a normal human being..!!! All hail the Queen..!!! :-P ;-)

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 6:29 pm
Priyanka June 9, 2010 at 6:48 pm

Hahaha..!!! I read about the 29K bill and i was like poor Sanjeev bhaiya and then i read Rati’s comments and got to know that she just spent 7400 and you spent the rest of the amount..!! So, thank god that you have got a wife like her who loves to shop for hubby as well..!!

But next time when you see her depressed take her out yourself nahi to kitna fatka lagega you never know..!!

God bless you both..!!! *touchwood*

Reply

Palak June 9, 2010 at 6:28 pm

Love these quotes !
For a change Paris Hilton is not talkin crap :giggle:
She actually *knows* what woman want !! :silly:
Great post :yes:
.-= Palak´s last blog ..Estee Lauder Double Wear Stay in Pencil Review =-.

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Next time I meet Paris Hilton, i’ll tell her that :-)

Reply

sush June 9, 2010 at 6:41 pm

oh i love this quote
Women have two weapons – cosmetics and tears” very true although i hate to admit so… :-))

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 6:46 pm

The second weapon is a little lighter on the purse though… but I read further down that women eat or shop when they are depressed..so it comes to the same thing economically. I would rather that my gorgeous wife shops without the tears. :-)

Reply

ki. June 9, 2010 at 6:52 pm

I sent in my comments through Rati as well but GOD! I’m still laughing!!! My faince will agree 100% – poor guy has to spend in euros :rotfl:
.-= ki.´s last blog ..Stila, Urban Decay and blog sale major haul!!! :D =-.

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 7:05 pm

tsk… tsk… That’s his babes-and-booze money that is going down the blush and concealer way. He should come back to India. Not much fun for him there. :P

Reply

ki. June 9, 2010 at 7:30 pm

Babes-and-booze money?! Grr :reallyangry:

I think I better go give him a call :-P :rotfl: :silly:

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 7:35 pm

Err… no need for a call. Your shopping list must have ensured that he spends his evening at home, cooks rice or maggi, drinks juice, watches TV, and goes to sleep :rotfl: :rotfl:

Reply

ki. June 9, 2010 at 8:01 pm

That IS sorta what he does actually :P

but it isn’t because of ME! :rotfl:
.-= ki.´s last blog ..Stila, Urban Decay and blog sale major haul!!! :D =-.

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 8:16 pm

You mean he’s rolling into money yet staying at home? Ever heard of a rich guy having virtues? It’s only the poor who have them… :devil: :devil:

Reply

Rati June 9, 2010 at 7:39 pm

Ki,

You have no idea what all logic I have to hear every single day. Let it be. Everything is fine. :rotfl: :rotfl:

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 7:40 pm

:quiet: :quiet: :quiet: :quiet: :quiet: :quiet:

Reply

Rati June 9, 2010 at 7:42 pm

After 43 comments??? Yeah right!! :D

Reply

ki. June 9, 2010 at 8:02 pm

Men and their explanations :rotfl:
.-= ki.´s last blog ..Stila, Urban Decay and blog sale major haul!!! :D =-.

Reply

Rati June 9, 2010 at 8:06 pm

We can’t beat them at this. :rotfl: :rotfl: You must watch a movie called ” My cousin Vinny” with Karthik for sure. ;-)

Reply

Rati June 9, 2010 at 7:41 pm
Priyanka June 9, 2010 at 11:00 pm

Hahaha… what conversations you both have..!!!!

I’m loving it..!!

Reply

Divya June 9, 2010 at 8:03 pm

hahaha… fun post. I liked this one : “The best thing is to look natural, but it takes makeup to look natural”- Calvin Klein… and to think that its actually true!! Its a discovery I made over the last year as I introduced myself to the world of makeup :P

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 8:16 pm

just read the links that both Rati and Sanjeev (if I may call you so) posted…..loved it to bits, …..I think we all should join totalgadha.com even if we arent doing our MBA, its total timepass. BTW, I think Rati, you should definately go to Tribhovandas Bhimji Zhaveri the next time your hubby refuses to accompany you for a movie….tell me what happens next? :-)) :-D

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Rati…..you can select the pieces online http://www.tbztheoriginal.com/showcase.html :drool:

Reply

HD June 10, 2010 at 12:25 pm

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 8:22 pm

*sigh* isn’t it illegal to tempt someone’s wife? :(

Reply

Rati June 9, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Oh wow!! and there’s platinum also. :D

Illegal?? Huh?? No. No. :-D :-D

Reply

ki. June 9, 2010 at 8:40 pm

PLATINUM :drool: :drool: :drool:
.-= ki.´s last blog ..Stila, Urban Decay and blog sale major haul!!! :D =-.

Reply

jomol June 9, 2010 at 9:08 pm

No, in fact, its a gesture…..we should all show each other the path that lead to happiness and fulfilment…nirvana….and nirvana in our case is makeup, clothes, and jewerly…so I am just showing Rati one of the three paths…the other two she is an expert herself….. :-D

Reply

Sanjeev June 9, 2010 at 10:15 pm

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

Reply

jomol June 10, 2010 at 10:57 am

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :beauty: :beauty:

Reply

Rati June 10, 2010 at 11:27 am
Jewel June 10, 2010 at 3:39 pm

I don’t know which was more fun…reading the post by Sanjeev or reading the comments :-)

As for TBZ and the “platinum” comments, I’m sure my husband will ban me frm following this blog if he reads them ;-) …But what he doesn’t know, can’t hurt him :-D

Reply

hana February 8, 2012 at 10:16 am

sanjeevji lovely post like the women has 2 gift one n the good gals having diary wala…….i like :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes:

Reply

Leave a Comment

rofl :P :D :) *yawn* *woot* *whistle* *waiting* *waaa* *toothpaste* *thankyou* *specs* *spank* *smug* *smack* *silence* *shy* *shock* *secret* *scared* *puchhi* *preen* *powder* *poop* *pompom* *pigtail* *pan* *oye balle* *nonono* *nails* *nababana* *jogging* *jalwa* *jai ho* *hunterwali* *hihi* *hifive* *headbang* *happydance* *happy dance* *haan ji* *grrr* *green* *ghost* *duh* *duel* *drool* *devil* *cry* *clap* *chudail* *blush* *announce*

{ 5 trackbacks }

Previous post:

Next post: