I am extremely short tempered. I blow the fuse and react impulsively if I am provoked. My policy of dealing with stress situations in life is “first react and then analyze.” I have the most terrible PMS and it becomes impossible to control my irritation and anger during those days. Even otherwise, I am pretty volatile, but during PMS, the situation gets out of control. After I have vented out my anger, I sit and analyze why I got so angry and whether the situation could have been handled in a better way.
A few days ago, I was watching this program on TV, where there were telling about Feng Shui practices to overcome anger in life. There were these two methods which made an impact on me and I put it into use after trimming and tapering the methods according to my convenience. In the end, when I formulated my own method, there was nothing Feng-Shui about them :|.
I would share these two techniques and some other tips to control anger because they have proven to be effective when I tried them.
1. WRITE DOWN YOUR GRUDGES AND BURN THE PAPER.
If there are issues which are you bogging you down and giving you sleepless nights, then this is an effective method to get your mind relaxed and clear the clutter off your mind. To start with, you should take a clean sheet of paper and write down your worries that are bothering you, point wise. Like, first start with the worse problem in your life and then continue down to the smallest worry. After you have done listing all your worries point wise, go to an empty room in your house (Feng Shui recommends that you stand in South-East direction :|, but I don’t really care which direction I am standing). Take out a box of match sticks and burn the paper completely. You will feel a lot better and relaxed after doing so. It is believed in Feng Shui that your problems will leave you one by one if you do so, but I find it instantly relaxing.
2. The second method to follow when you feel that you are unable to control your anger or that there is immense stress in you such that you will blow up any minute, take two lemons (juicy ones and of normal size) in your hands and start turning them in your left and right hand for 5 minutes.
Turning them in your palm means that you make a fist with the lemon inside the hand and move it within that fist and start thinking about the factors that are causing anger in you. After 5 minutes, you just need to go out and throw those lemons behind and over you. Feng Shui believes that the lemons absorb the body’s stress and effectively remove every trace of stress and anger. I have found that moving the lemon around in my hands gives me the time and opportunity to relax and analyze over the issue which has been bothering me. Again, some South-East direction is recommended where the lemons must be thrown, but I don’t follow that.
3. Take a brisk walk. I have noticed that taking a brisk walk or strolling on the terrace alone gives me time to think and cools down my anger. A little physical activity like walking or jogging not only dissipates the anger, but also it gives the much-needed time to cool down and analyze things over. After involving in physical activities like these, either you will feel exhausted to confront the anger situation or you will be too hungry to get involved in any muck and will reach straight for the refrigerator ☺.
4. Listen to music. Music instantly calms the senses. No matter how stressful the situation gets, one can relax immediately listening to pleasant music. Ustad Amjad Ali Khan’s Sarod and L. Subramnian’s violin music takes me into another world and is extremely soothing. Sometimes later, I don’t even remember what was the reason for which I got angry a while before. So, listen to good music and ease out the stress in your life.
L. Subramnian with his violin.
5. Breathe slowly and count backwards from 10 to 1. When you feel angry at something, take slow and deep breaths and count backwards from 10 to 1. When you breathe deeply, it sends extra oxygen to your brain for clarity of thought and relaxes your muscles. It also gives you a moment to analyze the situation and will help you to handle the situation in a better way.
When you give yourself time to think first, you are less likely to cause harm to yourself and to others. A relaxed mind thinks better and acts wisely.
If you ever go through an anger situation in life, try these above tips, and let me know if they work for you as they have worked for me.