5 Ways to Control Anger

control anger

I am extremely short tempered. I blow the fuse and react impulsively if I am provoked. My policy of dealing with stress situations in life is “first react and then analyze.” I have the most terrible PMS and it becomes impossible to control my irritation and anger during those days. Even otherwise, I am pretty volatile, but during PMS, the situation gets out of control. After I have vented out my anger, I sit and analyze why I got so angry and whether the situation could have been handled in a better way.

anger control

A few days ago, I was watching this program on TV, where there were telling about Feng Shui practices to overcome anger in life. There were these two methods which made an impact on me and I put it into use after trimming and tapering the methods according to my convenience. In the end, when I formulated my own method, there was nothing Feng-Shui about them :|.

I would share these two techniques and some other tips to control anger because they have proven to be effective when I tried them.

1. WRITE DOWN YOUR GRUDGES AND BURN THE PAPER.

burning paper

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If there are issues which are you bogging you down and giving you sleepless nights, then this is an effective method to get your mind relaxed and clear the clutter off your mind. To start with, you should take a clean sheet of paper and write down your worries that are bothering you, point wise. Like, first start with the worse problem in your life and then continue down to the smallest worry. After you have done listing all your worries point wise, go to an empty room in your house (Feng Shui recommends that you stand in South-East direction :|, but I don’t really care which direction I am standing). Take out a box of match sticks and burn the paper completely. You will feel a lot better and relaxed after doing so. It is believed in Feng Shui that your problems will leave you one by one if you do so, but I find it instantly relaxing.

2. The second method to follow when you feel that you are unable to control your anger or that there is immense stress in you such that you will blow up any minute, take two lemons (juicy ones and of normal size) in your hands and start turning them in your left and right hand for 5 minutes.

lemons

Turning them in your palm means that you make a fist with the lemon inside the hand and move it within that fist and start thinking about the factors that are causing anger in you. After 5 minutes, you just need to go out and throw those lemons behind and over you. Feng Shui believes that the lemons absorb the body’s stress and effectively remove every trace of stress and anger. I have found that moving the lemon around in my hands gives me the time and opportunity to relax and analyze over the issue which has been bothering me. Again, some South-East direction is recommended where the lemons must be thrown, but I don’t follow that.

3. Take a brisk walk. I have noticed that taking a brisk walk or strolling on the terrace alone gives me time to think and cools down my anger. A little physical activity like walking or jogging not only dissipates the anger, but also it gives the much-needed time to cool down and analyze things over. After involving in physical activities like these, either you will feel exhausted to confront the anger situation or you will be too hungry to get involved in any muck and will reach straight for the refrigerator ☺.

4. Listen to music. Music instantly calms the senses. No matter how stressful the situation gets, one can relax immediately listening to pleasant music. Ustad Amjad Ali Khan’s Sarod and L. Subramnian’s violin music takes me into another world and is extremely soothing. Sometimes later, I don’t even remember what was the reason for which I got angry a while before. So, listen to good music and ease out the stress in your life.

peaceful

L. Subramnian with his violin.

5. Breathe slowly and count backwards from 10 to 1. When you feel angry at something, take slow and deep breaths and count backwards from 10 to 1. When you breathe deeply, it sends extra oxygen to your brain for clarity of thought and relaxes your muscles. It also gives you a moment to analyze the situation and will help you to handle the situation in a better way.

When you give yourself time to think first, you are less likely to cause harm to yourself and to others. A relaxed mind thinks better and acts wisely.

If you ever go through an anger situation in life, try these above tips, and let me know if they work for you as they have worked for me.

Image Source 1, 2, 3, 4

Also Read:
8 Tips to Manage Anger
Stress Management: How to Deal with Stress
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101 thoughts on “5 Ways to Control Anger

    1. Pooja…………….do you break things during PMS…no not bones ….like something else to feel good 😉 😉 😉 😉 :whistle: :whistle: :whistle:

  1. very doable Jomol and very important is today’s life. I am usually a very stressed out person and on days I am not i almost look for something to be stressed out..sounds funny but i feel so empty that if I am not stressed out abt something, i must have forgotten something..you know what i mean?

      1. yeah good idea, Sanjeevji….I am trying to get Rads poster size fotu to stick on that inflatable doll…. :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot:

      2. hahha..tapad tho nahin but my poor husband is at the receiving end all the time. within 5 mins i would have even cooled down but the poor guy continues to wonder what he did..

  2. Aruna…..I understand how you feel…because on days I am not feeling a little “not disturbed”, I feel something’s wrong. I always tend to be happy and laugh about everything, but even then, at the bck of my mind, I need to have something that’s bothering me…. :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: thought I was weird that way, but glad to know you also have the same :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:

    1. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…lemme give you a peck on your cheek………… :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi:

      1. Beee…… :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

  3. Lovely tips Jomol..When I am angry I usually keep quiet and start walking briskly outside…It really helps a lot in cooling down. Also taking deep breaths while walking helps a lot in cooling yourself down. Another thing I do is start washing utensils and do all patkaa patki to vent off my anger..he he he….Bless stainless steal!! 😛 😛

    Music is something I can’t listen to when I am angry..I get more annoyed..so far only washing utensils and brisk walking has worked for me so I’d stick to that he he he..

    That burning paper thing I sawwww in Jab we met too!! 😀

    1. Cali – you said it..i think i do a lot of cleaning too ‘cos as long as i dont have to talk to anyone i know i will be fine. its almost like i am afraid of myself ki kya bol dooingi us irritation mein and so its funny becos i’ll try to stay away from getting into a bigger fight and everyone will think i just dont want to solve the problem.

  4. Good tips Cali…. :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: ..I will also do bartan ka bashing next time. :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: …..I think this jab we met film used that feng shui tip Cali…….because Feng Shui recommends such an action and a particular direction is also prescribed…. 😐

  5. Another tip I usually do when I am angry at OFFICE!! Actually it feels a lot worse when you get a bad office day….coz you can neither walk, nor do anything except for taking deep breaths.

    What I do during those days is – Start drinking water!! Seriously..Drink water…either by sipping or drinking like the way Amitabh bacchan drinks alcohol in movies when he is angry….Whatever way..it works!!!! Has saved me from loads of clashes at office!!! 😛

    1. Okies, things to say when you are in a bad mood in office:

      1. You! – Off my planet.
      2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
      3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
      4. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?
      5. I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
      6. Allow me to introduce my selves.
      7. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
      8. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
      9. I’m just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
      10. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
      11. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
      12. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
      13. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
      14. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #2?
      15. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
      16. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
      17. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
      18. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
      19. Don’t make me angry, The voices in my head don’t like it when you make me angry.

        1. Some more…

          Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.
          Do I look like a people person?
          This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
          I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
          Does your train of thought have a caboose?
          And just how may I screw you over today?
          Do they ever shut up on your planet?
          Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
          A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
          Don’t worry. I forgot your name, too!
          Adults are just kids who owe money.
          I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
          Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
          You look like crap. Is that the style now?

  6. Haanh kya Cali………but you know, I tho go into the clash head-on and give it my best shot………….and after that I try to cool down…….thanks for adding Cali :thanks: :thanks: :thanks: :thanks: :thanks: :thanks: :thanks:

    1. Office mein not possible na…especially when the other party is your boss…. I usually start fuming whenever something weird and unfair happens..and corporate offices are loaded with dirty politics everywhere!! Don’t want to comment on that!!

      But drinking water helps a lot in cooling my anger down!! 😀 I always keep a one litre bottle handy with me at my seat he he he!!!

      1. I agree on the dirty politics and policies in office…great tip of drinking water :waytogo: atleast this way I will drink more water 😀 I too have 1 litre bottle always with me :silly:

  7. ha ha….Bee…lekin……you become energized once you download things in the loo and return lighter from there na….just asking :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

  8. u missed out a point jomol… read jomol’s coments on imbb :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: …tht wud definitely help… tried this when i was at my in-laws place :-/ :-/ .. believe me.. IMBB was a true life saviour for m dere.. :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin:

    1. NIdssssssssssssssssssssssssssss…that’s the greatest compliment I ever gotttttttttttttttttttttt :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi:

      1. Where’s Rads, rati, sanjeevji…I want to show them Nids’ comment :announce: :announce: :announce: :announce: :announce:

                1. Sanjeevji…hadddddddddddddi hadddddddddddddddi hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

                  Nids ka comment muje samaj mein aa gaya :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: you all jaalous :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali:

  9. waah jomoli….. really good one….. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
    i need to learn some anger mgt myself……
    for point 1(writing it down n crushing the paper) & point 4(moooosic) work well too……

    n aapka point no. 5 toh kahin suna suna sa lag ra hai… :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: abhi thode din pehle ek movie aaa ri thi, LOUV… salman khan n revthi, usmei salman khan ki anger aisey hi control karte thy……. counting kar k :vampire: :vampire: :vampire: :vampire: :vampire:

    1. Noooooooooooopurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii anger managemetn ka pehla rule ich hai…count back from tan to wan………..jo ginti mein bura hai meri tarah…woh toh confuse hi ho jayega na…phir jagda kahe ka……

      like i will be 10, 8, 9, 6….six ke baad and then count again :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb:

      1. hiihihhiihiiih,v :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:
        jomoli ur toh itni ishmaart, tumhe toh 1-100 counting hai, mujhe pta hai :haanji: :haanji: :haanji: :haanji: :haanji: :haanji: :haanji: :haanji: :haanji: :haanji:

      1. maarning kimi…….
        haan haan woohi to kaha tha maine, louuuvvvvv 😀 😀 😀
        i really lik dat movie..i watch it evrytime its coming on tv….. 🙂

        1. Even I like the movie but I found the actress Revti too annoying in the movie… 😐

          I however loved her in movie “Muskuraahat” one of my all time fav movies..he he he..I love the comedy in it!! 😛

          1. annnoyingg……!!!!!!!!!! 😛 😛 😛
            i liked her name, maggi in the movie…… 🙂 🙂
            havent heard abt dis movie muskuraahat, me google 😀 😀

  10. Nice article Jomol…
    when i get angry, i normally keep quiet then, and then balme myself later for not venting out at that moment… i think, venting out the anger is good… atleast it is better than cursing yourself later for not shouting AT THAT moment

  11. Great article Jomol..I agree with music and brisk walking….the trick with lemon is new..should try sometime 🙂 When in office i usually listen to radio or call up my friends and eat their head out 😉 talking/sharing with friends makes me feel much better :toothygrin:

    1. Parita…..yeah try the lemon one and tell me how it worked out for you…but you can’t try in the office…you need to be alone while doing it so that you can focus on your anger and of course the lemon :toothygrin:

  12. i think controlling anger and having a fight (saying angry things during the fight) are probably 2 different things ..anyways i am learning to ignore ppl who bother me. and when i dont give ppl the bhaav they think they deserve somehow they just sudrofy. 😉

  13. Jomol when i am angry i just stop talking to people and then i burst everything out until i vent out everything. :(( really not a good habit. :((

    1. same case wid me… i control myself till a limit but when sum1 crosses it, i just burst like a cylinder.. :toothygrin: :toothygrin: .. i am or better say my mouth gets uncontrollable at tht time :shout: :shout: ….i regret later but tht happened a very few times.. :tongue:

        1. me also do some patka patki with my bartan as well as my cupboard :headbang: :secret2: but never do any thing wrong with my make up………my hubby said…… apna gussa apne make up par kyu nahi nikalti………..unko fekka karo na………..but got an idea now next time i will anger on my faltu make up things……..and asked for new from my hubby :tongue:

  14. Jomollyyyyy very nice article …. I also keep lot of grudges…… me very much worried about my nature have to learn to get over my grudges will follow tips mentioned by you…..

    1. Rachana…………but venting out the anger is the best way Rachana……I also keep a lot of grudges :toothygrin:

  15. Using rose oil, sandalwood oil and vetivert oil helps to calm the mind. Plus there is Asparagus Racemosus or Shatavari that goes in the stomach via the milk cup. So all in all, a transition from :duel: to :yahoo:

  16. i am so short tempered and take a lot of time to cool offf……but my daugh has really taught me the meaning of patience !!!! i just sit quite and dont talk and keep doing my things and ignore…. :yikes: :yikes: :yikes:

  17. good thing Priya…but you know, if I don’t vent out my anger na….I just keep thinking about it until it suffocates me out and then I have to back the source who caused me anger and then :shutmouth: :shutmouth: :shutmouth: :shutmouth: :shutmouth: :shutmouth: :shutmouth: :shutmouth:

  18. Hi Jomol nice article :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: i am also very short tempered but seeing my baby’s smile i instantly cool down :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

  19. heehee…U know, when i’m pissed off i usually just imagine stabbing that person and doing all sorts of nasty things in my head…it makes me smile when i think all that :vampire: Passive aggressiveness at its best i say..!! :woot:

  20. i hope dese tricks wrk for me..ma gussa z jst so bad….bt i dnt break things..i keep quite…avoid evryone..sme times cry .. 😥 😥

  21. before marriage I was extremely short tempered and got easily irritate on choti motti baat ……..but now i always try to control my self………….u know one day i had fight with my hubby :duel: and gusse me akele muvie dekhne challi gayi :ghost2: ……….u cant believe……..movie was end but mujhe kuch bhi yaad nahi tha ki movie me kya huaaa :methinks: ……….i i laughed myself……. :angel: :angel: :angel: thanks jomol for these tips………. :thanks: :thanks:

  22. No but honestly i believe anger ruins relationships. I had an ex who used to be pissed and jealous all the time, hurtful things used to be said and these small things really saturate all the love, affection or empathy that one may have. I deal my with anger pangs by first torturing the saamne wala in my imagination :yahoo: and then if it still persists i always put myself in the position of the person who made me angry. I mean its such a lengthy process that somewhere i forget why i was angry to begin with :toothygrin: But if u forget the reason why u get angry then its not worth being in that state of mind at all…Plus anger is the biggest weakness as it triggers so many negative emotions of fear, anxiety, insecurity and not to mention the harassment we give to the person at the receiving end…

  23. Gr8 tips jomol……………… :yes:
    Even I get angry very quickly. Taking a brisk walk really helps…
    If nothing else I just open IMBB….. :toothygrin: :toothygrin:

  24. seems like i’m not the only bad tempered and short tempered person in this world 😛 I really need to control my anger and stop bursting out like that :(( :((

    Thanks for the tips!! :yes: :yes:

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