You Are More Beautiful Than You Think

You Are More Beautiful Than You Think

By Surabhi Surendra from Womantics

Most of you must have seen the new ad campaign of Dove that is doing its rounds on the internet. I remember watching it almost a fortnight ago when it was mentioned on an online magazine that I read with great interest.  That online magazine just mentioned it as a must-watch video. I watched it, went numb for a few minutes and then I googled “Dove’s new video ad’ and read several articles. While many praised it for the strong message it conveyed, some lamented that the ad was not “entirely” positive.


I am not getting into this debate. I am just happy that some company, some beauty product making company is taking an initiative to change something ubiquitous.

“Whitening” products are the hottest selling thing in the beauty market these days. I used to buy them too because I thought I needed them.  Obviously whitening products are to turn a dark complexion into a lighter one and since we “fair is beautiful,” dusky women like me need them.

Research says only 4 percent of the women in the world consider themselves beautiful.  Sad but true. We may harp about how beauty is always skin deep and beauty pageants winners say things like ‘its about being comfortable’, ‘beauty is inner beauty’ and other such cliches. But the truth remains that we all, WE ALL have our own preconceived notions about beauty.

We all want to look good, in our own ways. For example, I want to reduce weight inspired by my working sister who has a son as old as Pahal, but she looks like a 23-year-old girl.  She, instead, wants to exchange her thin, brown hair with my hair. My best friend thinks (and I agree) that she is too thin while my second best friend wishes she were a little tall.

rati beauty ad

Men have this feeling too. I have often heard my hubby talking to his friends on fitness, bulging paunch, receding hairline, dole-shole and capacity to bear physical exertion. The only difference I see is that while men worry about macro things, we women sulk over micro things – complexion, hair, thin lips, fat nose, double chin or even cuticles!

Why do we all worry about these so much? Wherever I go, I generally receive compliments on my hair or my facial features and even my smile at times. When I was in Netherlands, once I and my friend decided to get a haircut in a salon in Brussels. We were in a group of about eight people. I wanted to try out an “European” salon, but then my male friends (a Spanish and a French) didn’t let me. They showered me with some of the best compliments on my hair and asked me to not even ‘think’ of a getting a scissor anywhere close to my hair.

Still whenever I look at Rati’s hair, I feel I wish I had hair like hers. Because even though my hair is longer than hers, she has thick hair while mine is thin and wavy. This may be a simple case of “grass is greener on the other side” and the problem with beauty is that there is very less you can change about it. It comes with birth and while it can get worse with any accident or reaction, it hardly changes for the better 😛


So it is for the benefit of everyone that we accept ourselves how we are. Beauty does not any boundaries, any starting point or any metric. It is all created by us and marketed heavily by the companies.

If for once these companies decide to hire the dusky, short or plump models for their ads, I am sure half of the battle is won. But then, why do we even have to wait for the companies to begin it. We should not live our lives on their terms. Should we? NO.

So, we have to start the journey ourselves. It begins with one small step – self belief.

I know how my perception about my own self has drastically changed because of this one small thing. Through out my childhood, I heard people commenting upon my complexion. While it bothered me and my confidence on my beauty stooped low, I never lost the confidence as a woman. Why? Because the most handsome man of my life called me very pretty. It was my dad.

I believed him for everything he said about anything in the world and so when he would tell me that he finds me very beautiful, I believed him here as well. He never told me I was fair or fair complexion is beautiful, he would just say “you are so beautiful and your simplicity makes you even more beautiful!”

Then I got married. My husband, just like my dad, finds me very pretty. He says some of the finest things about my looks and that has affected me positively. I now believe I am beautiful. For a few year,  I got on to ‘spotless-face’, ‘whitening creams’ etc but now I am back to a simple moisturizer. I do not need anything more.

I am sure we all have someone in our lives who finds us lot better than the rest of the world but we often ignore that and pay more attention to those who criticise us either silently or loudly. This is what that needs to be changed.

If you have to believe about yourself, believe the best things said to you by the best of the people in your life, and you would soon feel that you are more beautiful than you think.

Some of you may find this post irrelevant or think of it as my personal story or may have your own opinions, which I totally respect and I am open for brick bats. 🙂 but I knew I had to write it here on IMBB.

When it comes to things like beauty, I trust IMBB more than anything else. And like Sanjeevji said yesterday, IMBB does change things. So, I thought if I have to write anything like this, it would be only on IMBB.

To all the beauties out there reading this –

We all are beautiful in our own ways, because God never makes mistakes! 🙂

About Author:

Surabhi Surendra lives in Andamans and blogs at Womanatics where she writes about women and relationships. You can join her on Facebook here.

Image Sources: 1, 2

Harmful Chemicals in Beauty Products and Their Safer Alternatives
Ingredients in Cosmetics and Beauty Products: The Real Story
Precious Ingredients in Cosmetics
Know the Ingredients in your Skin Products
Which Expensive Makeup Product is Worth the Money?
Dove Beauty Cream
Meeting Gul Panag and Her Beauty and Fitness Regimen


107 thoughts on “You Are More Beautiful Than You Think

  1. awwww 😀 we are beautiful 😀 *powder* *powder* *pompom* *pompom* *pompom* *pompom* *thankyou* *thankyou* u are a chweeet heart surabhi 🙂 hum sab sundan hai *hihi* *hihi*

  2. surabhi wow *happy dance* such a nice post yaar…luved the way u explained beauty……… *puchhi*
    i started luving my self & feeling the inner beauty when i was still reading this article mid way……… *preen*

    IMBB tusi great ho……such a gud writers on IMBB *pompom*

    1. awwww… Grace… thank youu sooo much. *puchhi* *puchhi* Nothing gives me pleasure more than a bit of praise for my writing.. thankyouuuu very much.. *thankyou* *thankyou* I am really glad you liked it. 😀

  3. Very well written Surbhi ji…. *jai ho*
    I totally agree with you…. in my teens I used to feel i do not have good features and used to wish hair like some one, pimple free face like someone…. but then slowly I got the confidence in my self and my love for my self made me believe that I am beautiful. I count my self in those 4% women who believe they are beautiful. I don’t need some one else to tell me this coz I know i am beautiful from inside and outside 🙂

    1. yeh hui na baat. *hifive* *hifive* same here. I feel sooo much better now.. that even I think maybe I am also one of those 4%.. though this changed only in last few yrs! and yaar Sweta.. dont call me surabhji.. sirf surabhi kaafi hai mere dost 😉 .. 😀

  4. Wow…i so loved your article
    keep up the good work
    *thankyou* for making me fall in love with myself all over again rofl

    1. Ravia.. your name is soooo unique.. *announce* *announce* I am hearing it for the first time.. wow!! and thankyou so much for liking the article. Really motivates me to write better in future. *thankyou* *thankyou*

      1. *shy*
        yayyyiee…thankyou 🙂
        I am a silent reader on IMBB, never dared to comment, but couldn’t resist today *clap*

  5. Every girl is beautiful in some or the other way but she is *haan ji* hav written it in such a way that every girl on IMBB will start feeling proud of herself *puchhi*
    You are such a good writer Surabhi..keep it up *clap* *clap*

    1. Hey Saloni.. thank you soo very much. *thankyou* *thankyou* and want to let you know that I love your OOTDs.. I may not comment on all of your OOTDs but I do see them and comment whenever my time permits. Keep them coming. *puchhi* *puchhi*

      1. Awwww that is chooooo sweet of you sweetheart *puchhi* *clap* m sooo happie that you liked all of my ootd’s n you said this is making me feel more special *jai ho*
        *thankyou* loads Surabhi *puchhi*

        1. Yeah I did. Aajkal.. I am a little tied up with several interesting things.. my kiddie, hubby, traveling, assignments etc.. so I dont comment on all the articles but I do read almost all..

  6. Love yourself is what i always read and hear, i wish i can actually believe and feel it …have few friends who aren’t most beautiful and they have some wishlist too…but what makes them most likeable and people love them is how they carry themselves and self love . Also they smile always that also makes a difference..

  7. Hats off!!!! you are a counsellor.. *jai ho* *jai ho* I really agree, we always wish for things we do not have. I love myself *preen* and much of the credit goes to IMBB, seriously. I would like to add few more things, hygiene does matter, like clean hair *pigtail* , no BO *nonono* , clean hands and feet *nails* , clean clothes, hydrated face n lips (regardless of acne or freckles) rather be, fashion learner than a fashion victim and above all very good manners and a kind heart for humanity. I am on healthier side and I exercise *jogging* not for size ZERO but to keep my health fit.

  8. I got tears in my eyes while reading this. The amount of emotion that it held. I’ve never thought of myself as pretty. This is because everytime I did, I had someone pulling me down. It started off as innocent teasing but it wouldn’t stop. That someone is my ex-boyfriend. He cheated on me twice. I’ve never felt pretty again. I don’t know if I will also. Yes, there are guys who like me and I do have that ‘fan following’ kinda thing but I still don’t believe it. My confidence is beyond shattered and I dont know what to do. Sorry for ranting out like this. I just got so emotional reading this.

    1. It is not ranting dear..just a space to share ourselves *puchhi*
      Everybody is pretty in their own ways.I just hate people who tease others based on their physical features or melanin content *hunterwali* Feel good that it is over,ALL OF US deserve a man who respects and loves us for what we are and not for how we look*puchhi*

    2. When you start loving yourself,everthing else falls into line.. *haan ji* Trust me its the bestest feeling to fall in love with yourself..!! *blush* *pompom* Keep smiling..!! its THE BEST makeup *powder* 😀

    3. Ritika..

      this is EXACTLY what I said in my post. We tend to hear those who criticise us and never listen to those who praise us. Don’t fall in this trap. What has happened has happened.. dont let that jerk be a winner by keeping your esteem low.Rise up! It will be all fine and don’t worry. If you open up in comments, that is only going to make me happier. 😀 *puchhi* *puchhi*

      1. That’s so sweet of you all 🙂 Thank you so much everyone for all ur support and comments 🙂 *puchhi* *puchhi* *puchhi* *puchhi* *puchhi*

  9. Aww.. “Because the most handsome man of my life called me very pretty. It was my dad.
    ” *cry* *jai ho* *clap* such a nice article..!! Very well said..!! *clap*
    Everyone is special..!!Because GOD does not make mistake..!! *haan ji*

  10. “I am sure we all have someone in our lives who finds us lot better than the rest of the world but we often ignore that and pay more attention to those who criticise us either silently or loudly. ” Golden words. This is a lovely article. I have seen the advertisement in question too. But this article drives home a point of it`s own. You`re beautiful – it`s true. _ James Blunt. ^_^ <3

    1. aww… Arja.. by saying that this article drives a point home.. you have touched my heart. I was a lill skeptical about it. I thought maybe some would think its just a diary entry sorts. But I am so happy you think it conveys a message. Thankyou. *thankyou* *thankyou*

  11. Loving oneself is the best gift that any person can gift themselves…. 🙂 and seeing oneself thru the eyes of your loved ones is the best feeling ever… You are so so so right Surabhi. Hats off to you. You have given words to the dormant feeling lying in one’s heart.. *clap* *clap* *clap*

  12. and Parita how could you forget your hair..?!! I still remember you dark, long hair..! 😀 and yeah.. I think love surpasses all boundaries. Hai na..?

  13. U made my day ..i was jus cribbin to my self about my curly hair and wishing for straight hair *pigtail* tym i finshd readin da article i had a smile on my face..thank you *thankyou* for dis lovely write up♥♥.

  14. Well said surabhi “We all are beautiful in our own ways, because God never makes mistakes” Loved the way u written this post *puchhi* I am getting emotional reading this and sanjeevji’s post learning a lot these days about life. Glad to be a part of IMBB where so many beautiful persons exchange their views *cry*

  15. wow Surabhi what a thought! I mean how many times do we compliment ourselves? i feel it is equally important to respect and appreciate your own self… hats off to your thoughts… love you loads *puchhi*

  16. i sooooooo wanna get married *hihi* *hihi* …m always compared academically as i only scored btwn 75-80% n my cousins always in the merit list…i didnt do phd or post doc like them n moreovr i’m sitting at home not earning in thousands like them….but believe me im a more kind hearted, emotional and loving is g person than they all are..but nobody gives a damn to these things in the family…so in short all my cousins are better than me…i dnt even have sibling to share with what i feel like…being in a distance relationship for 9 years i wanna get married asap n buy lottsa make *secret* 😛

    Beautifully written article Surabhi 🙂 *clap* *clap* *puchhi*

    1. Misha I know how you feel.. and in our society comparison starts very early! 🙁 get married.. your hubby will compensate it with his love.. 😀 and hey 75-80% is normal.. usse zyada abnormal hai.. rofl rofl

    2. Aww Misha don’t be upset by all such useless things, you are beautiful person by heart,
      ur efforts towards ur work n family that’s all matters, n academics and studies matter in life but being a good human being matters a lot and dats wat u r a kind hearted person ..
      And if ur lover or the loved ones understand this, its all wat matter…

      1. Heyy Misha, you’ve scored 75-80%%% *happy dance* Thats awesome! trust me all these things are just due to d thinking that most people have! The main thing is that you are beautiful inside and thats what you are 🙂 and definitely the person who are with you will realise that 🙂 *clap* *clap* to you and your beautiful heart…

        1. misha dear u are much much better than any average student i ever knew in my school days know. *haan ji* Let me tell you after wedding, nthin is going to change sad bt true.. *headbang* *headbang* u will face comparison at every level. u may be judged by ur cooking, sitting or any habit with other respective bahus know.. *secret* *secret* Best thing is U believe in urself that u are much much better than any one n whole world will be urs i bet.. *puchhi*
          I felt the same like u wen i was in college i simply married and my life became more challenging. Here u need to prove urself nt academically bt socially, verbally, or say at every level. The phase u are living, (an independent gal) is ur best phase dear.. *haan ji*
          You are a wonderful writer, u are definitely unique than anyone in ur family.. *clap* Just exploit this phase fully and try to make happy memories for ur future.. *oye balle* *oye balle*
          Just believe in urslef and give a damn to all rumours.. *hunterwali* *duel*

          1. i wish our society stops comparing n learns to respect each n every individual for what he/she is.
            thank you Vini Vidhi n Neetu *puchhi* *puchhi* *puchhi* ‘a big bear hug’ 😀

      2. aaawwwww *thankyou* *puchhi* *puchhi*
        i completely agree with you…if our loved one understand us, nothing else matters!! *hifive*

  17. I am speechless and not in state of mind ke kuch bolu… just PERFECT surabhi *jai ho* *jai ho* *jai ho* *jai ho* *jai ho* and btw its teena hope u remember me…. *spank* *spank* *spank* *spank* *spank* *spank* *spank* *hunterwali* *hunterwali* *hunterwali* *hunterwali* *hunterwali* *hunterwali*

  18. God never makes mistakes…. Amen… This is what i always tell myself, when i feel low sometimes…. Nicely written sweetheart… Keep them coming *puchhi* *puchhi* *puchhi*

  19. Surabhi u are such beautiful person inside out.. *clap* *clap* Very well written article dear. I feel so proud while going thru ur post.. *happydance* *happydance*
    I remember i was a jolly cheerful person bt after wedding i beacme all numb as all my fellow sis in laws are either working or they have B. tech degree unlike me an agriculturist by nature and profession. So i ws a target of sarcastic comments for everyone there *headbang* Thankfully i came US with hubby giving damn to everyone.. *happydance* *smug*
    There after my life became a beautiful dream, *pompom* my loving hubby realised my feelings and he never allowed me to think that nonsense, he even encouraged me to pursue my deep embedded dreams of dancing, agriculture, singing which were all vanished in competition.. *puchhi* *puchhi*
    N luckily IMBB became a turning milestone in motivating my life towards new horizon.. *jai ho* *jalwa* Now i proudly tell everyone about my posts and pics.. *happydance* *happydance* I feel so proud on myself and my hubby.. *happydance* *happydance*

    1. yippieeee *pompom* *happydance* *pompom* may you always be happy like this *puchhi* 😀 *happy dance* *happy dance*

        1. Neetu.. I dont understand how anyone can compare you..? You are so unique in your own way. Good your hubby loves you for what you are.. thats the best thing in the world. 😀

          1. can’t help it yaar.. it happens.. *cry* bt i dnt care i have so many beautiful persons around now.. *happydance* ur heart warming post really made my day!! need less to mention i always read ur views on ur blog though silently.. *headbang*

  20. ok, i have a dislocated shoulder and have been readng silently for ages now waiting to get bettre. can’t sleep properly and came here to see if i could find some make up item to splurge on but found this brilliant thing instead. this is an awesome post surabhi! can’t help commenting even if it’ll take me ages to type my ramble. i have seen that video too, and i think this is the least beauty companies can do after making us feel unworthy and ugly our entire lives. i loved what you said about your father’s compliment. i get a lot of flak for being skinny and often get asked if i am dieting and similar crap. i used to get annoyed and point out people’s love handles or fat legs as a retort but my dad once sat me down and told me to stop fighting negative with the negative and said he thought i looked very pretty because i was “slender” (not skinny :D). after that, every time someone tells me “real women have curves” (which is a sad euphemism for being unhealthy sometimes), i roll my eyes and imagine them slipping on banana peels instead but never feel ugly or inadequate in any way. i also had a major complex about my height before i realised i could super rock high heels like nobody’s business.

    btw, if you guys have 1 hour, 35 minutes (even if you don’t, just skip three episodes of a saas-bahu show), go and watch ‘miss representation’. it’s a wonderfully interesting and enraging documentary on how wrongly the media (mostly american, but applies to indian media too – especially soap operas) depicts women on tv, and how the advertising companies, movies and tv shows rely on a steady source of massive income by making women feel they are fat, ugly, with horrible wardrobes and how looking like an airbrushed model is the only way they can achieve anything, and of course, how looks trump brains.

    sorry for the long ramble. but as compensation, let me celebrate the second coming of the smileys. *woot* *woot* *woot* 😀 😀 😀 *duh* *duh* *duh* *jalwa* *jalwa* *preen* *pompom* *pompom* *pompom*

  21. Good post surabhi. I personally liked the ad even shared it with my faux pas readers a few days back. *happydance*

    I personally dont have anything against beauty products be it whitening or something that a woman uses to for her hair re-growth. If that helps a women in getting her confidence back or helps her in any other way I think people should be free to use these products without any judgements. I am myself using a whitening skin care range these days not that i am using it for whitening but it has done wonders to my skin texture.. But that’s just me. :))

    Glad you have such supportive people in your life. *clap* *clap*

    1. Rati.. I am not against any beauty product. 🙂 but I have problems with certain ideas. I do not mind if companies sell them as skin-even- toning creams or something else for that matter. Or maybe.. I could not express myself that well in the post. 🙂

      Remember you said in one your posts that you started to lose weight because your friend wanted you to.. and now you are thankful to your husband for accepting you the way you are… my intent is to point towards that feeling. 🙂

  22. Hi Surabhi,

    Went through the post and while I agree on some points, I do think there is nothing wrong with using whitening products or taking efforts to groom oneself. I use whitening products and while picking them up, I do not intend to become fairy white, my only expectations are that my skin gets even textured and bright. Someone has rightly said, “there are no ugly women, only lazy ones.” I truly appreciate and admire those women who take the time and effort to groom themselves, use stuff to keep prim and proper. I don’t know if everyone agrees to this, but I feel, when you meet someone, if you turn shabby without making an effort to be presentable, you are kind of not respecting that person. I do believe God has made everyone in a unique way and left it upon them to improve themselves personality wise or look wise (if God hadn’t given us that freedom, we would be zombies na *ghost* ). It would have been difficult for us to go for waxing or threading because body hair is provided by nature for a certain purpose and if we have to go to the natural way, we would have to go completely “that way.” I enjoyed reading and taking part in this debate Surabhi *powder*

    1. Jomo.. through this post, I tried to say that we must feel confident about ourselves first. Period. 🙂 I have nothing against whitening products as well.. I mentioned that I used to use them too but only when I started feeling confident about myself, I realized that I dont have to use them to become fair and I am back to my moisturizer.

      But after reading yours and Rati’s comment, I think maybe I didnt write it that well.. or maybe I emphasized the whitening cream product.. *cry* *cry*

  23. Nice article Surabhi…..i got d point at beginning only. I also believe that every single woman is beautiful…..If we can obtain the self confidence we can win as well as change d world. Using of any beauty product is totally a personal decision…. some of us may get confidence by using them, so thr is no debate upon using any beauty product. The idea is dat feel urself beautiful d way u r….at same tym if u wanted to groom urself wid d help of nethng u may….WOMEN R BEAUTIFUL *pigtail* *pompom* *nails* *powder* *clap* ….nd beauti is our birth right *happydance* *happydance* *happydance* *preen*

  24. Nice article Surabhi. 🙂 To live happily, we must see the beauty in everything, even in our own selves. 🙂 I especially love your parting words.

  25. I love your article, you know I was soooo slim and beautiful in my teenage but as my age is growing I am becoming fat and lots of changes appear awww I miss my teenage and that wonderful time , I love the way how beautifully you’ve written this article thank you

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *