Does Beauty Breed Inferiority Complex?

inferiority complexI belong to a very small town, which can nearly be called a village if not for the fact that it has better roads and amenities. It is a closed-knit town where everyone knows everyone else, and where a boy cannot think of dating a girl because his parents would get the news within minutes if he goes out with a girl. Of course we still used to chase girls while growing up, but from a distance. We were always scared that some girl’s mother would call our moms and say “aapka ladka meri ladki ko pareshan kar raha hai.” The mere words were enough to get us a beating. So we played footsie with girls with a ten feet pole. πŸ™‚

My childhood friend Gaurav was always flushed with cash and would foot the bill for our chais and samosas. Regretfully, I did not drink beer then; that came much later. His cash was not reason I used to hang around with him; his blue-colored vespa scooter was. He had the scooter even in class tenth, a rarity for a standard tenth student. Come evening, Gaurav would come out all dandy and handsome-looking on his scooter, all set to chase girls. And I would be looking for a break from my studies so was eager for a quick ride. So there we would go- Jai and Veeru- Gaurav driving around looking for girls, and me in the pillion seat enjoying the wind on my tired eyes. Since I was always tardily dressed I had no hopes of any girl giving me a glance anyhow. But I had loads of fun watching Gaurav trying to attract a girl’s attention by passing her twice or thrice, blowing his horn, and such stunts.

There were some things about my friend which started puzzling me over the years. First thing I noticed was his habit of washing his face every couple of hours (that too with some exquisite soap) and wetting his hairs. I would not use the term ‘pathological’ here but to a person like me who walked out of his home right after waking up or from his study table without bothering about washing his face, a person who washed his face every hour seems queer. Since I spent a lot of time in Gaurav’s family, I realized what was happening. Gaurav had a dark complexion. And somewhere because of his mom’s jokes about him being ‘krishan kanhaiya’ he had a thing about his complexion. He tried hard to look fair. He had loads of whitening creams and soaps in his bathroom. And every hour or so he would feel that dirt was making his face look darker. Hence the frequent washing.

The second thing that I noticed was that he would never get down from his scooter while crisscrossing a girl on the road. I would often get infuriated and tell him “Gaurav scooter rok aur jakar baat kar.” But he would never stop the scooter and get down to speak to a girl. The reason, I discovered, was simple- since he was short-heighted he was afraid to walk up to a girl lest she would make fun of his short height. He could never pluck the courage to speak to a girl. All my entreaties fell on deaf ears. “Tu baat nahin karega to kabhi kuchh hoga?”Β  Well, nothing ever happened.

The third unnatural thing I noticed was his irritable behavior every time some criticized him or tried to advice him. He could neverΒ  take anything negative spoken about him. Come to think of it, he could never take anything said in praises about him either. Well, maybe not so unnatural in a teenager maybe.

“What’s so special about a teenager who wants to look fair and is shy about his height?” you’d ask. Perhaps not much. Everyone harbors some kind of inferiority complex or the other. And given life’s due course, a person comes to terms with his limitations and capacities, ignores his inferiority complex, and achieves an emotional balance in a mature way. But exacerbate this inferiority complex with negative parental attitude, serious taunts at school, and poisonous influences and you have created a socially maladjusted person incapable of meeting demands of life. I saw this happen in this case. Suffice it to say that this maladjusted behavior destroyed a large part of his life years later.

Is being fat, dark-skinned, short, or unfashionable stopping you from being a normal person?

Do you suffer from an inferiority complex about your physical appearance. Do you

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  • fish for compliments all the time? Want to hear praises for your qualities or things?
  • always feel that people are making fun of you behind your back?
  • react sensitively to everything said about you, feel offended at friendly jests, or pay excessive attention to little things said about you?
  • stay away from competitions where you are tested against others?
  • feel unable to take compliments well?
  • avoid social gatherings, meetings or debate competitions?
  • criticize others around you or be sarcastic, or find fault with others?

Well, you are one more Gaurav in the making. Or you probably already are.

I have often observed that personal remarks about some physical aspects of ours hurt us more than about our social status or mental aptitude. And no wonder if those remarks are made in our childhood, the hurt goes deep and remains buried inside us throughout our lives. So there is a moral for moms- ignore the physical aspects of your kids. Love your child, respect your child, and treat your child as an individual. Do not compare your child with other kids or point out the shortcomings of your child.

Well, what if you already carry the seeds of inferiority complex about your looks or physical stature?

Since inferiority complex is a problem of deep-seated, emotionally toned ideas about one’s self, psychologists consider that it can be eliminated or minimized only by understanding how it originated, why it persists, and then compensating for the inferiority complex by developing other abilities.

Well, once you identify that you are suffering from ‘being-ugly’ complex at any given time, here is what you need to do:

  • You Are What you Are: So you think you are fat and ugly? Right. You are fat and ugly. Now deal with it. Start being comfortable with yourself. No, that does not mean going out of the way, dressing outlandishly, and showing others you are cool. Just be comfortable with the way you look and dress. Also, do not go out being sarcastic about smart or beautiful people to prove that you are better than them. I call it “Aishwarya Rai is stupid” syndrome. πŸ™‚
  • Get Good at Something: Success breeds confidence. Invest your time in your growth. If you find something that you enjoy and can be good at, you would forget pretty soon about your failings.
  • You Are What You Are: Right. You are still fat and ugly. Get on with life. And yes, you can get slim. One part taken care of. πŸ™‚
  • Approach People: Well, you are not the life of the party are you? Standing on the sides and watching others steal the show while you are too shy or timid to speak up? Well, go ahead. Talk to people. Approach them. Learn to introduce yourself and make friends. Rest will happen consequently. πŸ™‚
  • You Are What You Are: “Yes yes, mr. Sanjeev, I am fat and ugly. But I can get get slimmer and you’d still stay a moron.” Atta Girl!
  • Get Good at Skills: Remember that even good-looking people are vying for the same successes in life as you are. But you have an asset that many beautiful people around you don’t have- you do not have the distractions of attractions around you. If you notice carefully, you’d see lots of beautiful people failing in life because they were too distracted with ‘affairs’ at early age to work hard at something. You have more chances of reaching high if you ignore your failings and focus at your career. πŸ™‚

Well, live you life. You all are beautiful in your own ways. Get rid of your inferiority complex! πŸ™‚

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432 thoughts on “Does Beauty Breed Inferiority Complex?

  1. bang on mr.donkey !!!!!!!
    currently ‘being fat’ complex is bothering me 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐 a lot 😐

        1. awwww naina….
          let me do it for u….
          “some thing nice …. ” πŸ˜› P πŸ˜› :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin:

          1. Heheheee ya Naina: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:

  2. very nice article sanjeev…and i belive one way or d other for ANY reason we ALL or mostly all of us hav faced such situations in our lyf..be it hw we look,hw we dress,hw we speak,hw we are in social gathering etc etc etc…we have to learn embrace all des n move forward..a very tough call but a call indeed dat we have to pick… πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    1. Thank You Preeti πŸ™‚ I think the key to handle this is positive affirmation, both from within and from those around you. And so it is also essential to get rid of negative influences around you.

  3. I loved the post !! Actually personally i get so irritated when someone compliments like everytime,i mean it really gets on my nervous.! And being presentable is important not fair,or tall.I think beauty is about bringing out the best of who you are and not trying to achieve what is perceived to be beautiful.Everyone says beauty is not important to me,or i won’t judge according to looks,but to be frank most of them judge based on physical appearance,which is a sad thing.Beauty is all about loving yourself.:) when you do that you look truely beautiful πŸ™‚

  4. it took so muc time to read.. it was getting more and more interesting… sanjevji vry good… :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

  5. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
    that was really good…I am short fat and not so good looking….very average…..and to be honest in my teens i answered “yes” to most of the questions in that questionnaire.BUT THEN I GREW UP and realised that Its not about looks at all…ITs about how you feel about yourself..thats whta is projected out to the world……Now many years later ,i am verrrry comfortable in my own skin …but its true in our teens peer pressure does want us to look prettier,taller,skinnier…(have many young girls come to me with wanting to lose weight and they r bones already.thats a real nice article.

  6. lo… mere padhne me hi itne sare people commented… i cam here first technically.. was lost in studying… :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug:

  7. very inspirational indeed!!and couldn’t agree with you more…!!instead of lamenting the way we look physically or things we cannot change, we should try to enrich ourselves with things that we certainly can do and change about ourselves and I believe most of the things fall in this category!! :waytogo: :waytogo:

  8. Nice read Sanjeev ji πŸ™‚ I was a similar person at school.. lacking confidence coz I was short and not good looking as others. But now I have learnt to accept myself for who I am. Still I lack the confidence to speak to new people. Reading this article, I think it is high time I stop being timid.

  9. What an awesome article Sanjeev,seriously :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
    You have a way with words !
    I am sure each one of us has been through this phase but its all about how we get out of it πŸ™‚

  10. Aila! great post! I’ve personally experienced I.C because of my short height which was shorter back in school and most recently acne…

    nd people generally have nothing more to say than comment on how yu look. ” arrey! tera face tey bilkul plain c ga!!” (punjabi) ( your face’s clear nd plain). I’d go :finger bu always asked to calm down.

    nd actually, what all yu wrote is exactly what my mommy used to tell me. πŸ˜€

    nice-nice!!

    P.S: I’m new here! :dance:

  11. Thankies all πŸ™‚ Took some time to write this and now going to have dinner. Will come back in a few minutes and then reply.

    This was something which came from the heart, because I saw my best friend getting eaten away by this ‘beauty phenomenon’ and this why people pursuing beauty and looking like shahnaz hussain get to me at times.

    Laters… πŸ™‚

  12. BRAVO :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: sanjeev…
    very aptly titled too..”beauty breeds Inferiority complex”…. :haanji: :haanji: :haanji:
    but beauty here can be related to money, clothes & other material things and also other like attitude, way of communicating & presenting, even company n all.. all this also creates a complex but one need to learn to overcum it all n struggle to b better… :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo:
    luvly write up again… :jaiho: :jaiho:

    1. Nids, as I said, we are most sensitive about our physical aspects than any other thing. πŸ™‚ Our physical appearances are the biggest cause of complexes

  13. woww…..this was a very nice read. :waytogo: :waytogo:
    I personally had very low self-confidence during my school life. I never had friends until 6th std. Then slowly I accepted what I am. And tried to enhance my confidence with whatever natural abilities I had.
    I think every person here has been given at-least one special and unique quality which has to be found out (either by self or by someone who understands you well) and polished. This will give the desired confidence and ease away such inferiority complexes.

    Sanjeev jee….some people really forget what abilities they have and try to comapre with others. I think ‘comparison’ is the major issue here. If they stop comparing with others and enhance the qualities they are born with I think half the battle is won here itself. :))
    Encouragement should be given as daily dose and then all is well. :waytogo:

    kuch zyada lamba comment ho gaya….haha….kya karu aadat se majboor…roz roz lecture :headbang: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin:

      1. hahaha…..no no! I toh say them if you hot….cool down a bit. If you cool….get on the stove and heat up!!!!!! :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

  14. its ok… ur students cant give u this but i can :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali:

  15. Absolutely absolutely wonderful article sanjeev ji… brought back all the memories when my relatives would all say “yeh to itni moti hain – isse kaun shaadi karega?” “Ise engineering kyu padha rahe ho itni fees bharke- abhi se hi ghar ke kaam sikhaa do wiase bhi aage jaake yahi karna hain”
    and the biggest blow was: a few years back I was chatting with an old school friend who is in automobile business “Hey Beena- I saw u in mumbai ”
    Me: then why didnt u come say hello?
    Him: you looked so fat I didnt want to embarass myself in front of my friends.

    honestly- I can never forget those words and how some people can be so shallow… Ive always been low in self Esteem – even when I landed In USA 8 months back I had trouble talking to the maintainence ppl as well…. πŸ™
    honestly- now a days I just dont care… Whatever ppl say – just say “Thank you” because it shows their shortcomings – not ours πŸ™‚
    Sanjeevji πŸ™‚ Im having tears in my eyes and Im smiling as well….
    :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo:

    1. Beeeee…you wore that chutku skirt and looked so awesome..I know skinny bonies who would look dodo in that!! You have an awesome attitude…and hmmmmmmmmmmph to anyone who says anything else :smug:

    2. Bee, then it was smashingly courageous of you to take part in our ‘Most Fashionable Look contest.’ Who was that friend of yours? You should have told him that you were glad that he didn’t meet you because you would have been embarrassed to meet such a jerk.

      1. Thnks soo much Rads and Sanjeevji– its all because of the love thats shared here on IMBB which helped me…
        and abt him- I just told him that he is better off with them πŸ˜‰

        1. beeenaaa… i loved ur contest pics…n all allllllll the pics u hav on fb…. u hav sucha prettyyyyy face/features/ smile πŸ™‚ & ur a sweet heart …. love u :-* :-*

      2. awww Bee….you should ignore such ridiculous people. They themselves fear of dejection and thats why act stupid. And seriously…they way you express urself and exude such warmth….kudos to that. :-* Though we have not met but I could really make-out from your pictures, the attitude and confidence you have….simply outstanding :clap:

        1. beeeee —- u shud have gone n kicked that fellow, where it hurts the most .. what a jerk !!! u have better and nicer people with you , who value you and love you, who love you for the person you are .. not by weight, colour, or height.. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€
          ( this thinking is not applicable to me … i need to lose wieght πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜› )

        2. lou u Jiniii…. Seriously – the next time Im in mumbai- sabse pehle Im going to request every1 for a meet up… I feel so close to u all πŸ˜€

    3. Bee, chubby ppl are always cuter :)) And you have an amazing attitude from what I get from your pics. Good that you are over the low self esteem phase :))

    4. bee..i luv u ,,nd hate dat frnd f urs…i cnt imazine hw cn any1 be ashamed f meeting his frnd..i hve many frnds who r nt so slim..bt dey r utterly sweet,,, :-* πŸ™‚

      1. hey beee dii..frst of all..u r so beeee-u-ti-ful πŸ™‚ :)..n believe me wht u hav faced i faced similar or rather still facing this isssue wid weight n all..my weights keep fluctuating n so does ppls attitude towards us..it is not ture whn we say it doesnt effect does cuz it does but in d end even i hav also started to learn the art of “LET IT GO”.. i really had a very crappy childhood n school days..it was pathetic and because hw i look and of my weight i was constantly teased…its only whn i met my frnds in colg made me realise one way or the another for any reason,we all have gone thru this complex and we only can overcum it..:) πŸ™‚ i m still trying to cope up wid this though.. :P.. but it has taught me a greater lesson as to not to take every thing srsly..because its theirs problem not ours..i hope dis made u smile.. πŸ™‚ :)..hugzzz πŸ™‚

        1. @Jini, Preeti, Naina, Jigyasa, Sumsu, Rads, Jomo and every1… I love u guys sooo much!!
          us wakt to self confidence ki waat lag gayi thi… Im still fat and I stioll have my bad days but now Im accepting the fact that its ok if Im fat as long as Ive got support from sucg grt frnds like you and my hubby too- who encourages me have an active life!!!
          Im trying to reduce waise but only because I want to dance and be healthy and not because of certain people!!!
          and honestly – after marriage I was a bit lost initially because new country, new ppl, everything new (new roommate too… hehhee) but during that time I got closer to IMBB and met all of you and I consider that a huge highlight in my life!!!
          a biggggg group hug please!!!! and a huge applause to Rati and sanjeev πŸ˜€
          Louuu u guys… muahhhhhh

          1. lova ya too bee n a big HUGGGGGGGGG,,:) πŸ™‚ and yes kudos to rati and sanjeev : ) for not only introducing to me in this fascinating world of make up but above all introducing me to u all u beautiful ppl..OMG being emotional nw ..:P πŸ˜›

  16. I am short..and I quite like it…except sometimes..I wish I could be taller..but no I dont feel inferior about anything. If its something I can repair and I am not repairing (no repair does not mean plastic surgery) then okay – you can laugh at me because well I am too lazy to repair. Like if I have a tummy and am not exercising and ppl laugh at my tummy…I deserve to be laughed at for being a lazy bum. Beyond that I dont feel bad about that either πŸ˜› I have a great group of friends (thank you IMBB for the online bunch) who dont care how I look, so I am really really happy. Of course I do feel bad once in a while when ppl say something negative..but most times no..I dont..so me very very happy about that πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ THankooo…story over..good night.

    1. haaaannn .. so what .. you are short so u get your shoe size in singapore … i toh wont even get .. its been haunting me ever since you mentioned :tremble: :tremble: :tremble: :tremble: :tremble: :tremble:

        1. i also wantttt to be chutku nowwwww.. rads lets exchange πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€
          but u look pretty .. and u no look fat also .. :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug:

              1. Rads…..I gift you my heels. I love my heels still I gift you :smug: :smug: :smug:
                If I wear them my BF says I look tall like a MAN :wilt: :wilt: :wilt:
                Now me buying only flats O:) O:) O:)
                you know even Jacob is not tall….so if I wear heels than jacob dont go out with me…you have much advantage :spank: :spank: :spank:

                1. Yessssssssss :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: Jacob and me…same to same height..chutkus will go for chutku date :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

                    1. Naina – he is the cute half nangu on Twilight…he turns into an awesome wolf…and looks so much better than the pale faces….and oh..he chutku..so me and he go for chutku date πŸ˜€

                    2. So dumb..I sat and explained who Jacob is..ya ya Twilight wala only …Jinal put up a pic and was trying to prove ke she neeeeeds to go on a date with him :spank:

                  1. Rads……….. :tremble: :tremble: :tremble:
                    me wear flats….me go with jacob…..I have kept Edward free for others :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

  17. sleeping time… goodnight everyone….. and sanjeevji :fart: take care
    :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot:

  18. Hehe no Sanjeevji dint mean it tat way.,its lik more of fake compliments i was talking of..Compliments which are exaggerated,And not true. πŸ™‚
    seriously very good article πŸ™‚

    1. Yep, take them graciously too.. It’s better to say ‘thank you’ graciously than spend thought wonderign if the compliment was genuine or not. πŸ™‚

  19. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: as ussal and amazing article from u sanjeevji!!
    my issue is not abt beauty….i dont take looks to my heart…i remove flaws in myself but then get over it… my problem is something else..
    u know i have such rich rich friends *like realllllllllyyyyy rich* and im constatnly surrounded by their extrvagance.. and i go sad all the time that whetever i want i have to think abt it soo much and might not get it also in the end..and whtever they want they just get it . soon. period …. i always wish i had more money, comfort , facilities.. and wish i could also travel in cars and not local busesand get dhakkas and what not…… but then my mother explained me…”apne se oopar walon ko nahi apne se neeche walo ko dekho…” when isssue is about money, comfort facilities. look at the less fortunate than u… atleast god has given u good clothes to wear , good food to eat and full family and a wholesome body…. since then iv stopped feeling bad… infact when i see someone less fortunate , i just say a short prayer for him/her and at the same time ,thank god for my fortune a million times in my heart :)) :))

    just felt like sharing… if anyone goes through inferiority complex when it comes to this topic :))

    1. nehaaaa … true true .. :waytogo: :waytogo: thanks for sharing ..
      i ahd this soooper rich girl who i was sharing the flat with .. like she ordered from mainland china when she was ‘broke’ ,bought a NEW WHITE dress from mango, cos she had nuthin to wear for a holi party.. that day i got really cranky .. like you know a new ‘expensive’ dress just so that you can spoil it .. but then i took sometime out to think and realised that in sab cheezon se upar aana is very important ..and i thot if i would trade my current life for such luxuries and the answer was a big no,
      it happens to the best of us,just that we need to count our blessings once in a while .. :)) :))

      1. i know and imagine im surrounded by such friends… and not only me my boyfriend also has royally rich friends !! and no we dont have common friends…
        all we used to do is complain about our lives… and get sad together :drunk: :drunk: :drunk: double sadness….hmmpphh but not anymore… wev realised we have more than what many ppl have and we dont even realise…

        “aur phir bahut saari magajmari aur papad belne k baad jo cheez milti hai na..uski khushi kuch aur hi hoti hai!!!” :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

      2. Naina…you should have taken the dress from her after she ruined it…am sure she would have happily thrown it away..then get it dyed and used it for yourself heheheeeeeeeeeeee :yahoo:

        1. me no datttyyy .. me no wear her used dress :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug:
          (she was really thin , so wont fit anyway.. but dont tell anyone :secret2: )

    2. Hmmm… I usually do not look outwards to find peace, whether at people below or those who are above me. Through my hardships in life and through the small and big successes that I had, I have intuitively realized that everyone goes through the same angst in life. Whether a person is rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, he/she experiences the same pain of loneliness, yearning, togetherness, desire to find meaning. So feeling jealous of someone because he/ she can buy things, or travel, or has a higher status in life is pointless.

      Also, I am most of the times far too busy in doing what I love to do than notice others. I think this lust for life in me is far too precious than all the gold and oil in Dubai. πŸ™‚

      1. I like reading comments here…is so nice nice naa…Neha thankooo for sharing it here…is so true..but so many times I forget that 😐

          1. awww imbb group hug!!! :hugleft: :hughright: :hugleft: :hughright: :hugleft: :hughright: :hugleft: :hughright: :hunterwali: :hughright:

              1. Yesssssssshhhhhhhh….IMBB group hug :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: hugs for sleeping Rati tooo :happydance:

      2. true!! everyone has problems some way or the other…

        yes mee too i do things dat i love and get lost in it… its something else!!! and u know my boyfriend he used wish he could travel more often and holiday like his friends… and now to realise his passion for travlling he left evrything else and is trying to study abt travel managing :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: and dreams to open his own travel company :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho:

    3. Neha, it is sweet of you to pray for the less fortunate πŸ™‚ I had never felt bad abt not being rich until few months before. I was staying at a PG in blore and my roommates thought I was asleep and started commenting on my dressing. They kept saying why I dress so unfashionably. They are all from rich family background and wore expensive dresses outside or inside PG. I was wide awake and listened to all this but still was way too timid to speak up. Already I was feeling bad that I was away from home and on this tears welled up in my eyes and it lowered my confidence so badly. I moved to an apartment hurriedly after that.
      Now thinking of that, they were just rich shallow ppl and I am getting over the low self esteem I had developed then.

      1. Maha – Actually Bangloreans aren’t like that at all..is what I love about Bangalore. People don’t judge you so much and don’t behave snobbishly just because you dress differently or look different. Sure they will comment, but they will do that in front of you and tell you what they find different about your dressing and what their likes and dislike are, etc., and only if they are friends enough with you!!! Those girls you stayed with…they are just :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

        1. Yeah it is not the prob with Bangalore but with those gals :)) In fact I liked Blore quite a lot πŸ™‚ I just wish I had better ppl as room mates. That would have made so much of a difference!

      2. Maha, it’s a never-ending race if you are going to live life according to what people think about you, because they will always find some shortcoming or the other in you. It is much better to do things one loves and let other things happen on their own.

        I think I am a live example of the point that if you love to do something, and you try to do it the best, money automatically comes. Money is just a reflection of someone buying your skills in the market so I reiterate- get good at something you love. You would become rich but more important, you’d be happier than the shallow girls who inherited money from their parents. πŸ™‚

        1. And as for money, when a man died on 30th January, he was one of the poorest men in India. His death anniversary is celebrated by the whole nation. His name was Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.

          And nobody even remembers when Mr. Ambani died.

          1. Good one Sanjeev ji πŸ™‚ Money had never really bothered me before. And I am slowly trying to get out of that low self esteem I had developed becuase of those girls. I will definitely keep in mind what you said. It was really helpful πŸ™‚

          1. awww maha .. i hateee such shallow ppl…!!! :reallypissed: :reallypissed: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali:
            imm telling you!! ur going to show them someday!!! everyone is special!! and so are you :-* :-* :-*

  20. Very nice article…..very well written. Actually confident mother breeds confident children and I try my best to raise my kids to be confident and smart individuals. A mother should be able to point out negatives and also give pointers to improve them. Like teaching them how to be presentable, how to talk, walk, eat in public, how to dress appropriately, how to behave socially etc…..this all matters a lot in developing self-confidence and being independent. Now adays its better, since everything is so global and smart people do know whats happening in other parts of the world. Coming from India to US was a huge learning experience for me…..working in corporate even bigger…..the whole package is what makes individual attractive…not just 1 thing….

  21. I to get jealous even if the other person is more organized or has more clean house than me…..beauty, rich goodies is to door ki baat hai…..but you know what….it just pushes me to be better…..atleast if its something I can improve upon, or do better at, then it gives me incentive……like after visiting a friend who was way more organized, clean and had everything to make a home like a house…..( proper furniture, proper deco…etc)…..I was bit depressed, had a fight with my husband, and I felt better only when I cleaned two drawers in my kitchen & organized the clutter. :yahoo:

  22. Its really nice that Sanjeev has put up this sensitive topic and written so well about this mental symptom of inferiority complex because of looks..because it does exist and remains very deep seated..I can say looks and compliments (or taunts) on them does affect self confidence-in Bengali we have a proverb that says “a beautiful face wins everywhere” ..apart from this-the fairness fad of the ads..be fair and beautiful to rule the world..and an aggregate effect of all this is complex..its really hard to get out of this..one of my friends sorta stopped attending our gatherings because she thinks she doesnt look good in the photos..wat to say..nothing except-Treat looks like wallpapers-and concentrate over the hardware..thats what runs a machine πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  23. Well said Anuradha,… and Honestly the fairness creams are such bluff… a beautiful face can get u jobs and stuff but what keeps you there is your hardwork,honesty towards your job and strength πŸ™‚
    Ive met some of the ladies who do carpenting and maintenance work here and they just rock!!! Well, a little groooming doesnt hurt either πŸ™‚

  24. Hey Bee..I missed writing the last point you mentioned (I was looking for a “Like” button under your comment here πŸ˜€ :D) ..one can surely do a complete makeover of their looks if they want (ask me about it!! :)) ) rather than sulking over it..the catch line of Maybelline goes “May be shez born with it…maybe its Maybelline πŸ™‚ ) ..I say one should do anything bout their looks..just dont let the complex creep in πŸ™‚

  25. :clap: :clap: A very well-written and oh-so-true article, Sanjeev, it’s a real pick-me-up read for myself. You have done a great job. :waytogo: :waytogo: :bravo:

  26. Hats off to you Sanjeev. I remember my school days when I didn’t bother about my looks and just focussed on coming first in class. There was a group of classmates who used to laugh behind me. But fortunately I didn’t have any issues with that. Once I joined college, I did a bit of grooming, simple things like carrying a comb in my bag to manage unruly hair, or a face wipe to wipe off excess oil, and whoa! In the 2nd year fest some of these girls came for a programme and their eyes popped out seeing me, what a transformation! :toothygrin: And till six months back I was a lip gloss and eyeliner person, but then I found IMBB. :yahoo: And I will have to type out an entire pAge to explain how great it was to learn about makeup from IMBB. :waytogo:

  27. A great article……..somehow….I feel my case is entirely different but similar in many ways……..I am not obese but yes I am fat, but I was not like that around 1-1/2 years…I was slim and in a very good physical frame (YES) :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: but not anymore and somehow I and the others around me are not able to get over the physical changes brought in by my pregnancy. I am scared of being judged by others……. :((

    A group my college mates came to meet me and all of them are yet unmarried…..and they were screaming that “hawwwwwwwwww…what have you done to yourself.” and I withdrew into a shell. It was like I have just put on 10 kgs from the point you had seen me earlier….like from 50 i had come to 60 kgs, but for them….that was too much and instead of feeling better that I had met my friends, I felt terrible after meeting them and I withdrew into a shell. :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :((. That group had fat, obese, and thin females, but their problem with me was I was slim earlier and I had become somewhat chubby, and that was not acceptable to them. :(( :shy: They were citing Malaika Arora’s and Coleen Rooney’s (who delivered around the same time as me) examples’ of how quickly they lost pregnancy weight…….but after they left, I really sulked……..but I don’t have an inferiority complex 8)

    1. Jomu… we are fine with you, however you look. And well, join a gym. You can cure this within 6 months. And joining a gym boosts your self-esteem. Plus you will meet new friends. πŸ™‚

      1. Thanks Sanjeev :thanks: :thanks: :thanks: :thanks: :thanks: ……I am not obese, but people around me are not giving me time to make changes……I think nobody is able to digest the fact that I was not like this until a few months ago and they remind me that every time and I feel I deserve a break…… :(( :(( ….my best option is treadmill at home….I live in a cantotment area na….I iwill have to travel for around 45 minutes to get to the nearest gym…..whatever gyms we have in our area…only bulky men work there…… :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:

        1. You live in cantonment area..then go walking morning morning :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: but really if you become like Malaika I will throw poop on you :spank: YOu know even my friends tell that to me..not really friends..but you know college ppl…they meet me they go Radhika you are so fat!! Hehehee..I also tell them…oh you look “different” and one guy tho I told him he looks like “widescreen tv” but I dont feel bad about all this. I was skinnnny in college and I think it’s a shock for them to see me filled out :toothygrin: :toothygrin: now…so it’s not that they are judging me or anything…besides naaa…me one snob..I tho keep thinking..ya ya you judge me but I am the one with the Chanels :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

        2. jomol walking is the best exercise dear. I have lost more than what i gained during my preggy days..
          thanks to walking

  28. Aww….Bee………..but you look so good…you look like “khaate peete ghar ki”……….actually, you were looking so good in that little skirt….and you have thunder thighs…… :rose: :rose: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :silly: :silly: :silly: :silly: :silly: :silly: :silly: I think you should not feel bad some idiot ruining your day, they are real jerks who you are better off with…….. :reallyangry: :reallyangry:

    1. I don’t want new real friends, I have IMBB :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug:

        1. he he he …..I know where you are going….definiately, if I get a treadmill by this month….pucca…………………… :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:

  29. mornnnnningggggggg donkey jomol, rads and everyone else who is aawake :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:
    ratiiiiii — kahan gayab ho ??????

    1. Good Morning NAina..me at home….took leave!! :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: actually me had terrible stomach ache in morning and fever now!! :weep: :weep:

    2. yahin hoon naina.. my pati dev was taking ages to get ready :smug: :smug: I was getting bored so I did aqua bloo eye makeup :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

  30. Wowwwwwwwwwww…!!! :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: Such an amazing article!!!! :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo: :waytogo: seriously Sanjeev…I can quite relate it to myself too. I was also born and brought in a small village-cum-town of himachal pradesh and during my teen years when my dad got transferred to Chandigarh, I was quite overwhelmed by the smartness of the kids there. I was so scared of everyone that I’d never talk to anyone. When other kids tried to mingle with me I used to just smile and sit with my head low just because I was scared that they might start making fun of me. It took me around 3 years to make good friends around. I had this low esteem of being from a small village and not knowing the “city-chaal chalan”. But, after 3 years when I got some good friends there, people used to ask me why I never talked to them and they thought that I was too proud and arrogant!! 😐 😐 😐 😐 Which was exact opposite to wat I was facing there in the initial months!!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜› They even had named me “Silencer” because of my quiet behaviour!!! :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo:

  31. Yeah Cali……………..many people were scared of me in school and college thinking I was proud and arrogant, but then later they realized i was fun loving and GOOD :shy: :shy: :shy: :shy: :shy: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug:

    1. Good Morning Jomol!! I agree to fun loving!!! O:) O:) O:) O:) but good?? 😐 😐 😐 😐 πŸ™„ πŸ™„ πŸ™„ πŸ™„ πŸ™„ :quiet: :quiet: :quiet: :quiet: :quiet: :quiet:

  32. You don’t think I am GOOD Cali :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali:

    1. When did I say that Jomol????? :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: I believe you are Awesommmeee!!! :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :lying: :lying: :lying: :lying: :lying: O:) O:) O:) O:) O:) O:)
      What all have you ordered this month from Oriprem..er…Oriflame?

  33. I didn’t write “VERY GOOD”….I just wrote “GOOD” :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

  34. Cali…..this month I am on oriflame celibacy…… :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:

  35. he he….no……….I want them to launch a lot of new products …….actually na, Cali…..I am also going out of station this month….so, I will have a chance to explore more things na…… :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot:

        1. hawwwwwwwwwwww… :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali:

  36. nice read sanjeev. even I too have passed through such a phase during my school days.
    but am glad that I grown out of it.
    but this article reminded me of my old school days.
    I like the last para good at skills.

  37. I never had inferiority complex until I started dating my first boyfriend. I have always been tall and even have a broader frame. So I never look thin even when I weigh my least. I had very dark complexion during my school days and my relatives used to call me “kaalia” etc but my mom never let all these things get into my head . she always stressed on “qualities , qualities and qualities”. So no matter what my relatives said about my looks their remarks never bothered me because my mom used to keep me busy with studies, hobby classes etc.

    By college time somehow my complexion was almost fair to medium and the same relatives were complimenting me about my looks. I was least bothered till then also. I met my first boyfriend and you know how when you fall in love during your teenage years you want to look all sweet and cute even on your normal dates. This guy rather than complimenting me for anything was making remarks about my looks, hair, dresses etc. Although he used to say it sweetly only bt those things were getting on me somewhere. On a few days I even cried and asked him whey was he with me when I had so many problems. but anyway that went on for years. We started having problems a few years back and we broke up.

    When I met Sanjeev, I came with this baggage of inferiority complexes about my looks, my intelligence and just about everything else. He would compliment me about something and I would react awkwardly towards it. But he slowly helped me get over it. geee… I fell so much in love with him that I married him. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Now even if I keep cribbing about my weight or my looks, I know they dont matter at the end of the day. Deep down I know I am happy with myself. :toothygrin:

    1. Rati :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: you have got a great mother and an equally good husband…..your life is sorted…………

      first boyfriend can go to hell…..

      relative swill complain and point out things even if you are perfect…..

      We all love you the way you are :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: and your first boyfriend baad mein jaaye :duel: :hunterwali:

      1. Jomol back then I was really heart broken and kept questioning myself about my breakup. now I feel “bach gayi” :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

  38. Awesuuummmm article sanjeevji…. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: I feel really lucky to hav such good frnds in school and college…i nvr had a problm with the way i looked..or abt intelligence coz i was always a top ranker…i had a tough life monetarily…my dad had a a nice business in which he got cheated and ended up as a driver….i had only 1 school uniform and i clearly remember on one of my Personal clenaliness classes our teacher had just made a comment generally to class that surely all of u have 2-3 unforms and i had to admit i hav only one.. :wilt: :wilt: :wilt: :wilt: i did not mind the fact that i have one unform but the pitying looks that i got is somthng that i will always remember…so yeah some times money does giv me a complex…but i brush myself and remember that i hav cum a longggg way now… :toothygrin: ANother angle that we forget is that good looks is not always a boon….especially being a girl..ppl tend to thnk good looks matlab no intelligence…during my 1st year of college…all my seniors were shocked to find that i was the topper…coz i used to dress up everyday they just assumed that i had no brains… 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐

    1. farha you saw me in your sapnaa ?? :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:

      1. This rads is such a big chuglikhor… :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame:

    2. Have similar kind of story Farha; Dad died when I was in 2nd standard and mother took up a job as a teacher to support us. Struggled hard as a child, fell into stealing and fighting etc., then suddenly changed one day and cleared IIT.

      http://totalgadha.com/tgtown/life/2009/04/18/i-love-you-dad/

      Life has always been a struggle but poverty and looks don’t bother me. Somebody’s money or appearance never even register on my horizon. But attitude and skills do. πŸ™‚

      1. Morning morning IMBB Group Hugs please :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :toothygrin: i might not have brushed :yahoo: Farhaaaaaaaaaaa me love you…just like that so extra kisses for you :-*

      2. The articles that u write sanjeevji..brngs IMBB members closer somehow.. :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: I m so glad u take up such issues :toothygrin:

      3. I followed and read that link sanjeev. could not control my tears.
        I creid while reading it.
        its so touching. I repsect u more after reading it.
        glad to know that u are an IITian. from which IIT did u graduate from ?

              1. wow u must be a genius sanjeev :yes:
                what was ur specialization ?
                I have a very close life to IIT . I first met my husband there πŸ˜›

                  1. at IIT Madras.
                    My hubby did his MTech there and I was doing my doctorate studies. . We met only a year after he joined the institute :jiggy1:

    3. Fartu…….I really adore you. :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: ….and what you said is correct…………..I too never differentiated between people who had money and who don’t…..I made friends with all kinds of people irrespective of their financial status…………you had to go through a lot na, but then as a child if you have to face these things……its tough, especially some kids can really bullly…………..but you toh local dia mirza na……. :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug:

      1. OH haaaaaaaaan…she looks like dia mirza naaaa..I thought only Ammu kinds..but now I am thinking she does look kind of like dia… 😐 I also want to look like someone…tell me…I look like Angelina Jolie..somewhat naa O:)

              1. Rads….are you wearing chanel rouge coco in this pic :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin:

                1. She has less white hair than what I have now :(( Put some white haired photo of hers….me want to be like her…nobody would act smart with her…she snob me snob…me likeeeeeeeeeee…. 😐 😐 😐 😐 besides its better than suku suku that my hubby says… 😐 😐 😐 wait wait me put photo of yours…Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeelaaaaa

      2. Okayyy so that means now u accept i Dia mirza :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

        1. fartu…yes, I think you look better than Dia Mirza :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot:

          BTW, don’t take hugs or kisses from Rads, she hasnot even brushed…..and her husband has to remind her to brush….and that may be like once in three days :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

          1. JOmooooo aaj to jannat nasseb ho gayi aapke muh se taarif sunke… :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: and rads i can tolerate no bath but no brushing teeth is soooooooooooo yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

            1. farha.. really judging people by their money is the cheapest thing I find. I met someone some time back and the woman was meeting me for the first time. the first thing after saying Hi she asked me was ” kaise aaye ho? car se, auto se ya rickshaw se” . That time it didnt register to me and I was wondering why was she even asking me that. Later as I got to know that woman closely I realized that she was asking me to just to judge me. Thank god she is out of my life now. :sweat: :sweat:

              1. 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 Cant belive it..aise logon ke dimaag me :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: bhara hota hai :spank: …u r lucky to get rid of that loser bf and then this so not a lady :teeth:

                  1. What a horrible female that you met Rati…..actually na…..its better that these chaalu types are kept away at a distance….. :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash:

                    1. I had this experience na Jomol that is why I got a little uncomfortable when cali asked me the other day how do you commute to office. Cali was asking for some other reason but that bitter experience suddenly came flashing infront of my eys.

                      It was quite an experience knowing her Jomol. Learnt a lot of lessons from her. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

                    2. Such people are very useful. They teach you how not to behave. :victory: :victory: :victory: :victory: :victory:

                    3. ohhh!!! thats y u reacted Rati…mujhe kabhi kabhi rati se dar lagta hai…she is very strict….but i guess u hav to b if u hav to deal with a mad bunch of ppl… :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot:

                    4. yeah M.. Such people actually make you stronger and make you feel so special about yourself. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

                    5. ohhhhhhh u very srtict….sometimes u sound like my mom…bachpan me i was sooo terrified of her…if she used to scold i used to susu…sacchhhiiiiiii…dnt tell jomo though :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame:

                    6. haw.. 😯 was that the reason why you felt uncomfy when I asked that? I thought you didn’t want some :zombiekiller: :zombiekiller: :zombiekiller: goon to know how you travel..er..donno why I thought that!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

                    7. farha you have to meet me jaldi jaldi.. I cant stop laughing now. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

                    8. My mom was very strict too Farha.. I am still scared of her a bit, although she is very friendly too.. I still don’t know how she manage to be perfectly scary and perfectly loving as the occasion demanded!!!

                      I am toh so soft with kids, I sometimes feel my kids will “Naacho mere sar pe’!!! :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars:

                    9. Ratiiii…mere dream ki kahaani sunke u must realise how badly i wanna meet :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: and mrun my mum also i dunno how they used to manage stictness and love…but after marriage to i dunno all that dar gaayab ho gaya…me scold her now :vampire:

                    10. You are a mom now Farha!!!! That’s why!!! You are scary now!! :vampire: :vampire: :vampire: :vampire: :vampire:

                    11. My mom used to say that mothers are like potters . They maaro danda from baahar se but keep patting their kids from inside so that their child grows as a well rounded human being. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ All her teenage scoldings suddenly make sense now. πŸ™‚

                      Farha yeah I hope we meet some time soon. :))

  39. yeah, even I am seeing Rati, rads, fartu, and others in dreams….this is surely IMBB overdose….thank God, I am not seeing Sanjeev :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars:

    1. I’ve seen Rati many times in my dreams…I saw Rads only once that too from some distance and she was talking on phone!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› And just waved me hi and went somewhere!! 😐 😐 😐 😐

      1. OMG..that is so cool..I love to be so snobbish like…talk on phone and wave a hiii and walk off talking…oh wowww…me super happy with your dream :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: 😐

    1. Jomooooooooooo :hugleft: :hughright: wat did i do in ur dream… :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin:

  40. fartu…..you did not do anything in my dream……..you were sitting on a potty seat nangu nangu 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐

    1. hawwwww…..and what were u doing there? Dancing on new Dum maaro dum song??? lol..It has this lyrics na..Potty pe baithe nanga!! :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

      1. oh….I didn’t know that song had these lyrics……I heard it had offensive lyrics…..but really, I want to listen…. :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

  41. sacchi mein speaking….fartu…..I see all of us gosssiping and laughing………like about our neighbors we are gossiping and some other people also……. 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐 O:) O:) O:) O:)

  42. Cali…….I see everyone I keep interacting on a daily basis, you also….like majorly I see all of us gossiping about my neighbors :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

  43. sanjeev :jaiho: :jaiho: i came to dis bog jst to learn sme make up tips..bt m learning so mch here..i too hve a bit f ic..nt bcoz f ma luks nd all..bt still sme time i feel people r ignoring me..bt nw i feel..i want sme extra attentn..i ll improve dis..oderwise..m perfect..u all hve bcme so close to me..jst in few days..really i luv u all..i mean it.. :-* :))

  44. Gr8 thoughts Sanjeevji!!!

    I do agree to all the points!!! I have to say that EVERYBODY harbours some low esteem issues somewhere!!

    For example: If you have lots of money like ur friend, you’ll be worried abt your looks, if you have gr8 good looks you’ll be worrying about money or brains or any damn thing!!!

    So whenever anybody comes upto you and says something awful, you should evaluate both sides of the comment. For example: If somebody comes upto me and says “you are FAT”, I will not get all depressed coz i know I am fat and I am always working out and eating right to avoid further damage.. πŸ˜›

    And there’s probably nothing you can say to me to upset or anger or depress me. But if someone passes a comment about ANYBODY I love, I am capable of hitting.

    So you may not have gr8 good looks, you may not have a lot of money, new dresses, lots of makeup, a good car, a house or anything of that sort. The only thing that will hinder your growth as a person is lack of confidence, feeling of self worth and honesty.

    I lovved the article and I lovved the fact that all of us can share our inner turmoils and insecurities over here. That says a lot about the kind of people Rati and Sanjeev are!! Love you guys!! :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

      1. Morning Cali!!! I’ll come in your dreams today and we will go shopping!!!

        I’ll tell you a secret!! In jomol’s dreams na, she owns a Oriflame Shop and buys everything for herself!!!!! :haanji: :haanji: :haanji: :haanji: :secret2: :secret2: :secret2: :secret2: :secret2: :secret2: :secret2:

        1. ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho:

            1. I guess Jomol has gone for her post-brunch nap!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› you are saved!!! :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin:

            2. Mrunnnnn us missseddddddddd the sone ki khadaan that she owns tooo in her dreams… :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :snicker:

                1. Yeah, she’ll be :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: to the slave who made jwellery in 18 karat gold!!! I am wondering if she has a gold hunter???? ?:) ?:) ?:) ?:) ?:)

        2. Mrun………..I wanted to say I was happy to see you again……but nahin……… :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: “aaja tumhe seene se laga loon…..aja tera gaala dabba doon” :knife: :knife: :knife: :knife: :knife:

    1. you know mrun you are one of the best person I have ever come across. Not saying this just to say but since i have stayed with you for a few days and I love the way you are. Never change yourself Mrun. You are one of the awesomest person I know. :-*

    2. Well Said Mrun….. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: but, I do wanna peel your skin for oriflame comment about me :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: and the peel the skin of your butt area :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

      1. Oucccchhhh!!!!! Could you peel some fat off too for me Jomol???? I really cannot afford liposuction!!! :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo:

        I love you Jomol!!! :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

  45. awesome article.. :waytogo: ..its a must read for everyone…this reminds me of one of my closest friend who is always like…”am dark, short and not goodlooking πŸ™ “…but she looks great …chiseled features..
    Even after telling her so many times like not to feel that way…”everyone is special in their own way”…But she never seems to undertand :((

  46. mrun..m cnfused abt buying cncealer..jinal told me abt revlon..bt m nt a party persn at all..will it be ok fr ma daily outings..i mean z it wrth 700 rs.. sb inne costly ku hai..kuch sasta manda ku nae aata… :wilt: :wilt:

    1. Jigyasa, concealers are a bit costly, coz everyone wants and needs them badly!!!

      I have a gr8 idea, actually i got it from Rati herself!!

      Get the lakme invisible finish foundation in shade no. 8!! It’s only 180/- and is an awful orange colour. But it just cuts way through the dark circle. So you dab and blend it only in the dake circles and other blemishes. Then set it with compact. Now apply your foundation and cover trhe concealed area gently. I do this everyday and i use my MAC concealer only for the night time. Try it!!!

  47. actually, I do dream about jewellery and khana……you all know me so wel :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :shy: :shy: :shy: :shy: :shy:

    1. Jomu, in your dreams, you must be running around chasing chickens with your mouth open wide…and then you would slide like Sachin Tendulkar and catch them, and dig your teeth into them…sprinkle some chaat masala over them also…

      Right? ?:)

      1. Err Ginni, no. That dream is pretty straightforward for Jomol- She has tied Bappi Lahiri to a chair and she is stripping him of his gold one by one… O:)

        1. oh gaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwddddddddddd :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: rati i bet u hav a tough time stayin angry with donkeyyyjiii…. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

          1. fartu….whenever someone pulls my leg…..tumko bahut hassi aati hai na :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

      2. Sanjeevji…………..its not chaat masal :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: its the damn garam masala……OMG…..I am laughing so hard….chicken with chaat masala……………

        waise, someone likes aloo in his curd, sweets, and icecream also………Sanjeevji….I seriously wonder whether this earth is revolving around the sun without falling down based on your aloo gaseous steam……. :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart: :fart:

  48. Hey Sanjeev- awesome article. very touching, very inspiring and so very true. I am just amazed at the number of people on this list who relate to it. Everyone comes across as so confident and its hard to believe that most of them actually suffered (are suffering) a complex. As you all have rightly said its so much to do with the mind and how you react to ppl around you. I guess its so true when someone once said that you cant control wat ppl say but you can control how you react to it and ppl will make u feel only as bad as much as you allow them to.

    so my story is similar but it was getting a complex from my own sis..she is 5’9″, tall, talented (one of the bets singers I have ever heard), always made my parents proud while i just played with the kids in some croner while she was busy receiving medals for her music. i turned out much shorter, not as talented, looks just abt average..and i suffered this a long time..i am well into my 40’s and it still bothers me sometimes πŸ™ I would get cynical when ppl complimented me always thinking they need something else. and I was a yes lady- the need to be liked was so much that i’d feel bad if I could not do something if ppl asked..I just wanted to be as popular..

    BUT i have an absolutely amazing husband and a bunch of friends who are the bestest in thw whole world. And suddenly I realized that the moment i didnt put myself down in front of the others and I was confident, it just came thru’ I suppose and ppl didnt bother me so much either. I do get a compliment now and then πŸ˜€ and I’d like to believe its true. I have done so much better in the past few years too.

    I am glad to have chanced up IMBB cos all these women and man are wonderful..always encouraging..feels great..

    sorry long story but your article touched a nerve somewhere..thanks again for a beautiful article!! well written

        1. Heheee..me short…sis tall…sis sings quite well…loves to dance…is my mom’s fav…me not so much…singing – nil..dancing – worse than nil. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

          1. hahhahah..you know what? i figured I can wear high heels, i talk more thn she does so thats a good thing I guess, more patience than her, learnt some singing along the way so not totally besur, less hang ups in life than she has..hahahahhaha..this is confidence overload with no offence meant to my sis ofcourse..love her to death..

            1. Oh with me and my sis…we both used to hate each other. She was such a pest, and I used to be such a meanie. Now, my sis hates the whole world because they tell her she is so big (actually she is just tall – very much like Rati but maybe shorter) and I hate the whole world because they think I have wasted my life (immature, not sensible, doesnt do the right things). So it’s like me and sis are best friends and think the rest of the world isn’t worth a second of our time…oh and we think we are tooooo good and keep telling each other that ..though not too much cos she still is a pest and I am still a meanie πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  49. woww I am so touched reading everybody’s experience here O:) O:) O:) O:) O:)
    And best of all I like how everyone has found a way out of it…. :victory2: :victory2: :victory2:

  50. Sanjeevji……how gross….yucccccccccccccccccccccccccccck…..of all people Bappi Lahiri…..why can’t you name George Clooney or Shihab Ratannsi……

  51. Huh..i was busy typing all names..it disappeared..so I thought okay wil post only 3 names and comment…that also disappeared…now both are posted..and i look really stupid :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali:

    1. I’ll let both the comments stay.. I got the power. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

    2. I just died laughing…. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: You do the weirdest things Radsooo!!!!! :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

        1. I just love Radsoo!!!! Only she can do these ajeeb harkatein!!! :kissing: :kissing: :kissing: :kissing:

          Btw, it looks like it’s gonna rain here!!!! :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

          1. no i was typing Mahaa…like see i finished jomol rati sanjeev..then started with farha..so missed c for cali naa..then put Mrun..then remembered ke M for maha…so I was thinking ohhhoo i should start from A..but comment disappeared 😐

            1. I tolllllllllldddddddddd naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…dont ask me questions..I dont like putting my intelligence on display like this 😐

              1. Ok Ok!!! We know you are very intelligent Radsoo!!! And we know you love us too.. And we got your hugs and kisses too!!!! Don’t get angry now!!! :-*

                Ok??? :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

                Chalo ab nahaa lo… O:)

                1. me give flying kisses radhika :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow: :kissblow:

    1. But would you tell now what this weird exercise actually meant!!!!!

      I’ll give you some poochies now that you have brushed!!! :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

      1. No..me felt like giving big huggie and :-* to everyone… 😐 like you know sudden love…but nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: to everyone

        1. :fart: :fart: :monkey: :monkey2: :monkey2: :monkey2: :monkey2: :monkey2: :monkey2: :monkey2: :monkey2: :mohawk: :mohawk: :mohawk: :mohawk: :mohawk: :mohawk: :mohawk: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: :mouse: :mouse: :mouse: :mouse: :mouse: :mouse: :mouse: :mouse: its a maddddddddddd day :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

      1. OMGGGG!!! :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

        1. My mom just came and peeked into my room to see why I am laughing so hard alone!!!! :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

          1. mere office wale toh i guess used to my mad laughs now.. i toh go sit in classroom alone sometimes just because it gets so mad. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

  52. Crazgie people we are….btw, why Radsu is suddenly :inlove: :inlove: us…there must be something wrong with her……but when I talked to her….she was quite okay only ?:) ?:) ?:) 😐 😐 😐 😐

    1. rdhikla tried hard to get senti.. she finally ended up being her only. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

      Radhika :-*

      1. I HATE YOU ALLLLL…stop laughing at me…think of Jomol stripping Bappiji of his gold or something…grrrrrrrrrr :poop: :snail: :snail: :snail: :snail: :snail: :snail: :snail: :snail: :snail:

  53. I am feeling proud today…..I really respect Anna Hazare……. :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho:

      1. HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Ratiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :hunterwali: even I the worlds mostest ignorant know him…like not know him..but important thing is ke…he not eating anything so that corruption gets reduced in India :weep:

          1. I think we should also not eat…how are we any better saying support support on FB and TV and all..but happily eating and drinking …me very bothered if ppl don’t eat 😐

  54. Rati – @car/auto comment – I won’t have thought so much into it either 😐 😐 😐 😐 but then it’s good we people don’t understand the meaning of such comments because it means our brains don’t work in that cheap way :smug:

    1. I know.. actually no one would have got it. Just that all these bitter experiences leave impressions in your mind and when something related comes up all those thoughts come right to you. I am so glad of who I am. She made me feel so good about myself. :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:

      1. Rati….yeah, actually na simple uncorrupted minds like ours na…it won’t click for a long time and by that time, a lot of harm must have been done…..but anyways, you got out of it na……… :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:

  55. ERr……Rati….you don’t know Anna Hazare…. :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: he is fasting for US to stop corruption…..he is fasting until the Lokpal bill is passed against corruption :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

  56. He is an activist rati….and he fasting unto death till the government consents to pass the Lokpal bill to stop corruption in governtment offices

  57. Mahaan rati….aapke charan kidhaar hai….I want to wash your feet with drink the charnamrit :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

    US is not doing corruption Rati…..in our indian government offices na, no work is done without corruption and bribery…..anna hazare is fasting unto death until this particular bill is passed.

    Lokpal will have no power to initiate suo moto action or receive complaints of corruption from the general public. It can only probe complaints forwarded by LS Speaker or RS Chairman. Lokpal will have powers to initiate suo moto action or receive complaints of corruption from the general public.
    Lokpal will only be an Advisory Body. Its part is only limited to forwarding its report to the “Competent Authority”

  58. WE all should support him Rati….I mean he is fighting for us na……like he is an old man and he is fasting for two to three days now…… :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:

  59. lovely article sanjeev….. :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes:
    Am missing all gang soooo much…..i want a huggggg toooooo :-*

      1. that pink bag naa.. hide sign came up with limited edition bags for breast cancer campaign and they made only a few pieces to support the campaign.. anyway now the whole point is that you have a limited edition hidesign bag now. :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

          1. realllyyyy…….pata hi nahi tha….ye ye ye…limited edition….and preeeyaaa ke liye :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

              1. But hidesign made pink bags only for the camapign. these might not be all the bags.. otherwise on their site also na.. no pink bags.. that’s what the store people told me. :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug:

                  1. no I dint buy hidesign farha.. I was dying to get a cerain bag from hidesign.. a brown one., they had black.. they kept saying me that the stock would come bt it never came. :(( bt anyway I bought another bag. πŸ˜› It is like this : http://images2.chictopia.com/photos/NameisEmm/5135140918/gray-charlotte-russe-boots-brown-vero-moda-jacket-h-m-tights-good-will-bag_400.jpg

                    Mine is in chocolate brown colour…I dont know how much you cna see this.. 😐

                    1. i get it…satchel types…u wanted nolan na that rads has in red..me have it in brown…and even i m searchn since ages for venus ranch in black and red..lekin kahin nahi mila ab tak… :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:

                    2. No no post..me send mail some time…:D πŸ˜€ me have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, haaan that’s all..but one i will give mom..she likes it..I dont like it…was on sale so I bought 😐 :shame: Two of those you have seen…u know that nolan wala bag..and other one naaa its there in that gea-greenie meet photo is brown..i call it conductor bag because it looks like bus conductor bag..but it holds a lot of stuff and is very good for using every day kinds.

      1. peereeeeeeyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

        1. now radssssss :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali:

          1. Oh but mine is not what Rati showed..its kind of like that..because you see …mine is pinker and cuter..it’s suede :toothygrin: but that’s not what I am :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: about…when I bought it naa…from Lifestyle naaaaaa….that time naaaaaa….I got it for 30% off :toothygrin:

            1. both of u grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :teeth: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop:

              1. farhaaa….saccchiii we reme u when we were talking of the expensive hidesign bags…hai na rads…we were like..only mad people like me, rads and u buy all this expensive ones…. :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo:

                    1. hhahaha…i googled …i hit a site which is a ranch in US…then i quietly closed the page :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

                1. priya somehow I have realized the importance of bags in my life.. okay not importance bt I think bags should be really nice. πŸ˜› πŸ˜› These days I might buy one bag a month bt I have stopped buying idhar udhar se now. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

                    1. farha it’s gorgeouss… I have grown to love such structured bags :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

                    2. ohhh…ok….hehehe…mera wala na farha thoda waisa hi hai…..zip open karo tho its a bit of blueeeeee…i hv the one in pink with subtle designs on it

                    3. hainnnnnaaa kitna pyaara hai na..i hav promised hubby i wont shop for a month the day i get it :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: peerreeeyyaaa i wannna see urssss :woot:

                  1. oh i completely agree…i love bags but i used to always hesitate spending more…but now..am buying lots of bags and ofcouse a mix of expensive and not so ones tooo….so i keep changing….

              2. ratiiii…me in shock for 3 days now…mera venus… :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:

                1. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

            1. Jomoljiiii – I used to buy so many bags…all 300 400 only…but so many…finally one day when I was throwing them away, I added and realized..the money I wasted on them is like the cost of a hidesign….at least with Hidesign these will last forever and I don’t need a million bags.

              1. errrrrr my hubby says i hav gone bag crazyyyyyy….if there is a fire at my place…i will take out my bags out sabse pehle of my belongings…

                1. fartu…….. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

                  rads…………..yeah, I must learn from you….I think you are speaking sense :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: it makes so much sense actually

                  1. i gave radsus explanation to hubby…hehehe it started with one mehnga bag…now to i cant stop oggling at then :yelo:

                    1. Same here…now it will be with the price of the HS….he will tell me people can survive for a year or something and I will die of guilt.

  60. Rati….I poured acid on your feet…did it burn :jiggy1: :jiggy1: :jiggy1: :jiggy1: :jiggy1: :jiggy2: :jiggy2: :jiggy2: :jiggy2: :jiggy2:

  61. There have been two very proud moments for me recently…….one was one my son was born and first looked at him…. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

    the second one was Suresh Kalmadi was booed by thoussands of indians at the ceremonies of common wealth games….

    and now….this time also :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:

        1. jomooo…am over loaded with so much work na…i hv no time to breath….keep reading few comments…laugh and go back to work….i hate my job…i wanna quitttttttt :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin:

          1. NO….don;t quit your job….how will buy makeup then :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo: :yelo:

          2. Priya………………hugs……………………..but you come on days like these na…….we miss you so much :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:

    1. I want to ask more questions now but I think I’d ask google gods.. you toh would kill me if I ask who is Suresh Kalmadi. hai na jomol hai na. πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

      1. rati u dont know who is suresh kalmadii….who bhi delhi mein hokeee :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash:

      2. Rati….now turn around and show your bum :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

        Suresh Kalmadi is a great man………he was the chief of the commonwealth organizing committe and he siphoned huge amount of money in the name of organizing the games……for example….he showed the cost of one toilet paper as Rs. 5000…….toilet paper must have costed some 200…the rest is his na :jaiho: O:) O:)

        1. rati…..I feel like pulling your cheeks because your are chooooooooo cute….just like my sister….she is also like you……….. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

          1. I will kill you then rati…..they are really bad people….like how you don’t like that auto comment wali aunty na….that types….chaloo :hunterwali: :hunterwali:

                    1. Rati….I toh really respect your husband….after reading the link on totalgadha na….I couldn’t really read it fully also….it weighed down my heart…….I didn’t even have the guts to read it completely and Sanjeev went through all of it…..I toh really :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: him

                1. hawwwwwwwwwww what pyaar you have…….like if you ask me anytime to mix harpic in my husband’s chai….I will happily do it….no strings attached O:) O:) O:) O:) O:)

                  1. You really are horrible :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: I think naaa…your husband should take your advice and do that to you….Jomolayyyyy, take tea I made for you :coffee: :shy:

                    1. Rads….but you were also ready to spray HIT in your husband’s grapes if only you found the spray around……….. O:) O:) O:) O:) O:)

  62. hey beee dii..frst of all..u r so beeee-u-ti-ful πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ ..n believe me wht u hav faced i faced similar or rather still facing this isssue wid weight n all..my weights keep fluctuating n so does ppls attitude towards us..it is not ture whn we say it doesnt effect does cuz it does but in d end even i hav also started to learn the art of β€œLET IT GO”.. i really had a very crappy childhood n school days..it was pathetic and because hw i look and of my weight i was constantly teased…its only whn i met my frnds in colg made me realise one way or the another for any reason,we all have gone thru this complex and we only can overcum it..:) πŸ™‚ i m still trying to cope up wid this though.. πŸ˜› .. but it has taught me a greater lesson as to not to take every thing srsly..because its theirs problem not ours..i hope dis made u smile.. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ ..hugzzz πŸ™‚

  63. Its a very very informative post .. I think it should be put on College n schools notice boards so that maximum students can gain some tips frm it .
    Spirituality,I feel is very very helpful in helping in beating this inferiority complex. Trust your god .. they r more intelligent thn any1 on this earth n they have made you with their own hands, how come thn u became ugly?????
    People do get depressed because of this inferioritycomplex, looses hopes n gets to nowhere in their lives . I wish this doesnt happen with any1 anymore.. education makes prime place in every1 lives …
    M goin to ask all my frnd to read it …. for the sake of someone’s life ..coz ppl often tend to ignore these feelings themselves wat to talk abt thr frnds n family to recognize it !!
    These kinds of informative posts really gets me hooked up to this site… cheers fr it πŸ™‚

  64. Hi Sanjeev

    cud not find time to read earlier… But i must surely appreciate you for writing such a wonderful article.

    Sanjeev, I too had gone on the low-self confidence bouts twice. When I was in school, I was an absolute tomboy since class I and always had more fun in maar pitai with guys rather than going all giggly with girls. I infact even looked like a guy, with short boy cut hair and heavy tan because of hours of playing in the sun. My knees and elbows always had cuts because of the football sessions..

    Finally. I the ugly duckling had a huge crush on a guy in class IX… but he always kept telling me that I am not good lukin and I should change myself… I used to cry a lot although i always excelled in thngs like sports, dramatics, singing, dancing and even studies (always amongst top 5) and he failed once and was a complete dodo.

    Finally, when we passed class XII, he told me , “Tu moti aur ajeeb si hai. Kali… aur ladkiyon jaisi sundar bhi nahin. Tujhe kaun pasand karega.” That hit me somewhere bad and I promised myself that I wud teach him a lesson. In my second year of college, I was a changed girl who wore skirts, had waist length hair and loved putting kajal and gloss. I looked pretty, if not beautiful… so my friends said. I met this guy again and he was like ‘WOW! what happened to u”. We kept meeting with friends. A year later, he said that he wanted to marry me and that day I told him, “U r such a dodo. Do baar fail hua school mein aur ek baar college mein aur ab college complete bhi nahin kar raha. Tujhe kaun pasand karega.”

    The second such bout came when I got married. My ex kept telling me that I am such an ordinary looking girl and if he leaves me, no one will even look at me. But I am out of it now (happy and divorced). Am trying to pick up some pieces of life and IMBB surely is helping me with it.

    U know what, we can always change the way we look. But it’s the inner beauty that matters more.

    @Bee… U look gorgeous girl…. had I been a guy… I wud have proposed u…

    1. Tarry, I don’t know how you chose your husband but in your college guy’s case, the fault was partly yours also. You also chose the guy on the basis of his looks (I am assuming you didn’t choose him for his brains or charming personality) so why did you expect him to choose you for your brains? That said, you gave him a nice comeback. πŸ™‚

      As for your ex-husband’s attitude, I am glad you don’t have him in your life anymore. πŸ™‚

      1. way to go tarry..n yes it is all about us and dat not only includes inner beauty but strength.And one way or the oder,for any reason whatsoever, we all hav made choices in life dat sumhw has made us cum this far without getting scummed to depression or any oder breakdown… πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  65. Wow..nice article Sanjeev… I want to write All of my insecurities.. but cant… dont have the courage to even type them out.. because then it will be real.. πŸ™ πŸ™ … read all the comments.. with tears rolling down my eyes and a smile on my lips.. Good one…

  66. Little late to the party, but I’m glad I read this πŸ™‚ Not to be overly cynical but it’s nice to read something like this written by a millennial male, who are notoriously known for being rather superficial!

    I just wanted to say that I feel the term “inferiority complex” carries a very negative connotation. Often times it’s the person who is believed to be suffering from an “inferiority complex” that’s blamed for their feelings of insecurities and subsequent failures in life. I think we need to change that, while not to brand them as “victims,” it’s important to realize that they suffer because of the pressure society puts on everyone. While some crumble under academic pressures, others under poor self image — all of them ad up to a feeling of “not being good enough.”

    I loved reading this because while I’m VERY familiar with girls complaining about their looks (and really you should see the look I get when I tell people I’m ok with my VERY average self) I didn’t know men too feel this way. Sure body dysmorphic disorder is on the rise for males too, but I’ve never given that more than a perfunctory thought – until now.

    I did want to point out how many times I’ve heard that “Oh! I can lose this weight, what will you do about your face/personality” argument. And quite honestly that kind of thinking isn’t conducive to either making yourself more confident or even seem so. It’s best to say, that even with the weight, dark skin, short height, you’re O.K. and even if that doesn’t change, it’s not the end of the world!

    Lastly, since this a site dedicated to makeup and beauty, I have to admit preoccupation with beauty puts me in quite a conundrum. As a feminist I’ve always defended my obsession with makeup as being a form of “self expression.” Yet there are days I feel all this achieves is further conformity into this “beauty ideal” that is so narrow that most of us will never fit into it. Still dealing with it… :waiting:

  67. omg.. dat was such an amazing article. thank god i am slim and beautiful though.. just kidding πŸ˜‰ . i have prob with ma self esteem sometimes.. this helps

  68. I was just browsing through the site when I stumbled upon this article,and boy, am I glad I found it!! :jaiho:
    I’ve been in a slump lately and part of it was due to my low self-esteem. Reading this article made me feel sooo much better. Not that I’m all okay now,but yes. This makes me feel a little more confident. :thanks: :preen: :cheers:

  69. wow liked d article a lot…as a teenager i was fat, very tall and wore spectacles…i lukd huge coz i was tall n fat n spectacles of ma dadz choice did not help to make my face luk good…i was good at academics and also extra curricular activities but, was always made fun of by all…neva had frends coz comon, its so uncool to hangout wid a fatty…i used 2 make excuses at home 2 stay away frm picnics n class parties…dad comparing me 2 ma classmates n tellin me im too reserved did not help me any better…after 12th grade, contact lenses came 2 my rescue.. i lost 15 kgs of weight and meanwhile gained 4 more cms of height…ma parents gave me d freedom 2 wear make up and fashionable clothes…college life was awesome coz all wanted 2 b around me…boys wanted my number and email id…girls wanted 2 know wat lipgloss was i wearing n my diet secrets…i always remained humble n even 2day wonder how this world is all about d outer cover…

  70. So I read this article today and realize what others have been trying to explain from so many days….thanks sanjeev

  71. Till date I’ve been a silent reader on imbb but after reading this article I really want to know that why do people run the beauty race? I mean words like attractive, charming, sweet, lovely, intelligent don’t have any meaning? I firmly believe if I want to be surrounded by people who give positive vibes then I expect myself to give out same to be accepted by them. And anyhow what will I do with the beauty and money of other person if he/ she is not good to me? And I don’t find beauty to be the criteria of being good. I personally have never been the victim of IC but one of my first cousin definitely was… and that too because she believes that I am more beautiful than her… and I could never make her understand that I was accepted in any group not because of my looks but because of my behavior… sad but even after 15 years she is still the same… Thanks sanjeev for such a nice article and it really forced me to present my views… Thanks a ton!

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