Fat or Thin – Love Your Body


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Fat or Thin – Love Your Body

Fat+or+Thin+Love+Your+Body

I was sitting at a coffee shop with a few friends the other day. One of my friends, who has been on her own weight loss journey over the course of the year, looked at me and said, “when I get married, I want you to look beautiful and thin, so you have a year or so to get into shape.” I simply smiled and said “don’t worry, I will look fabulous at your wedding.” The conversation moved on in other directions, but inside, I was seething. I know she meant well, but I wanted to yell inside and once she left, I couldn’t help but rant. I turned to another friend who was sitting with me and I told her that I was fairly offended with what I had heard. I said that I was sick and tired of having to deal with other people’s obsession over my body. I have learned to love my body as it is and I don’t understand why my body has to offend or bother anyone else. Just like everyone’s face is unique and different, so are their bodies and if I don’t have a problem with it, why do other people? I was so carried away with my diatribe that I didn’t notice I even had the attention of three women on the next table who looked at me and smiled. They turned to me and said that they felt the same and were quite sick of listening to other people assessing and judging their bodies and offering unsolicited advice. At that moment, we shared a moment of solidarity and in the spirit of that solidarity, I decided to write this post.

Let me insert a quick disclaimer here. No, I am not encouraging you to be unhealthy nor am I saying that don’t lose weight, or stop working out or any such nonsense.

Love your body. It sounds simple and while it should be every person’s right, it has turned into a privilege. We all believe or have believed at some point that our bodies are not worthy of our love. So, instead of loving and accepting our bodies, we evaluate, criticize and punish our bodies into a shape that will be deemed acceptable by society. Your rounded nose, your wide hips, narrow shoulders, breasts that are barely there or much too large, your rounded stomach and curvaceous butt have been stared at, objectified, vilified, criticized and been found unworthy of love by YOU. It is a rare person who I meet who hasn’t ever stared into the mirror and said oh if only my butt was smaller/rounder/larger/narrower/flatter or if only my arms didn’t jiggle, if only my lips were thinner and then turned around with a sad face. These bits that you find ugly, that you have deemed unworthy of love are a part of you. They don’t define you, but they belong to you, your body is not a separate being, you are your body. LOVE YOUR BODY and LOVE YOURSELF.

I have met a lot of women who have lost weight and who look back on old photographs and say, “Oh look, how ugly I was!” Truth be told, I often have to resist the urge to punch them. I want to say to them and to you that being large doesn’t make you ugly. Ugly is only a state of mind. We live in a society, in a world that thrives on objectifying and controlling women through their body. Images in magazines have become objective definitions of what beauty is. Those images of beauty don’t exist in real life. Often women look at pictures of celebrities without makeup, or bad outfits and we judge them because they don’t match up to our lofty ideals of perfect women. Let me tell you the truth, these ideals are manufactured. Every beauty magazine that you look at has an image that is manufactured with makeup, skillful lighting and Photoshop. Sometimes even though we know this, we still judge them and then ourselves because we have been conditioned to do so.

Promise


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J.K Rowling famously said “fat” is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her.  I mean, is “fat” really the worst thing a human being can be? Is “fat” worse than “vindictive,” “jealous,” “shallow,” “vain,” “boring,” or “cruel?” I think this fairly sums up the current attitude that most have in this world. So many young women are encouraged to be thin rather than to be smart or nice. Are you already smart, nice, educated? Then, it becomes even more imperative to be thin, to be “beautiful” because that’s the ideal. The body is always the focus.

They say we live in a post feminist world where women are independent; we have the right to vote, own property, to live exactly how we please. Yet increasingly us independent woman crave this ideal of beauty more than anything else. Why do we negate all that women fought around the world for in the past century, only to obsess about Katrina Kaif’s “hot” body, to want to be the next Deepika Padukone or Kareena Kapoor instead of the next Indira Gandhi or Sarojini Naidu? I don’t know about you but I often have to battle this issue with my own mother. Years of listening to “you are so pretty, if only you lost a little weight” have made me exhausted. I still tell my mother “isn’t it enough to have a healthy, smart, well-behaved daughter? Or would you rather I be thin and the rest of my personality be damned?” but I have realized it’s never really enough.

It’s about time we all took a stand. To hell with thin privilege and Photoshop! Fat or thin, short or tall, fair or dark, it’s time to set yourself free from what the world thinks you should look like. Be healthy, exercise, love your body and accept yourself just the way you are. If not anything else, I promise you will be happier for it.

Image Sources: Google Images

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81 thoughts on “Fat or Thin – Love Your Body

  1. God that is such a beautiful article *clap* *clap* *clap* i became soo emotional *cry* *cry* *cry* *cry* i am thin but have never ever insulted anyone by calling them fat *nababana* *nababana* so what if someone is fat, it is their identity *hifive* and infact people who have a lot of weight look soo much prettier than the ones who just have some skin and bones *happy dance* *happy dance* it is totally a misconception that people who are fat are not beautiful.. it is simple that how long are people gonna stay with your beautiful face or body.. it is just about who you are and how you are at heart.. superb one. *clap* *clap* *clap*

  2. Awesome post and in perfect timing. I also wanted to loose weight for a friend’s marriage..but din’t. However I won’t let that keep me from looking good. For more than 20+ years of my life I have told myself that I would look pretty only if thin and din’t bother to look good. Slowing thats changing, and am realizing that I am fine as I am and just need to put my best foot forward.

  3. It was just yesterday when I said there is nothing good about my skin, hair or body. I’ll never say that again!! *preen* This post has come at a very opportune time. *clap*
    I too am averse to someone judging my worth on the basis of my body weight or appearance. *devil*
    Well, love the post. *puchhi* *thankyou*

  4. Loved it…. I am very thin… generally people used to taunt me match stick… *waaa* *nababana* but now i don’t care anything they say… i will just concentrate what i want to do… nothing to do with their comments… i love myself…
    😀 😀 😀

    1. There you go ! Thats another flipside – being too thin – then people say “khaati kyun nahin”, u need to be chubbier … healthier wtv … that you are ok with yourself is somehow irrelevant because they are not ok with how you look

  5. Hmmm… 🙂 Aapka favorite actor kaun hai? 🙂

    And yahan aapko support karne walon mein voting kara lijiye, rarely kisi ke favorite actors mein Irfan Khan, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, ya Dhanush ka naam aayega although all three are better actors than the good looking Khans. 🙂

    Ye duniye nahin sudharegi. 🙂

  6. Such an amazing article *clap* , I agree with you totally and I have the same argument with my Mom you are so pretty, if only you lose a little weight, I guess all the mothers are similar *hihi* , people should rather be judged by their work and nature not by looks, loved it totally *clap* *clap* *clap*

      1. I dont think so…. I have been chubby… but my mom was never bothered if I lost weight or not in order to get me married… somehow she always wanted me to have a great career and concentrate on my job and be a good-hearted person… Hell, she never even forced me to work in the kitchen unless it was my choice… and after all these years of my marriage, I am still chubby and glad that even my hubby loves me the way I am…

  7. Yehi toh na Sanjeevji – I have realised women are their own worst enemies – we are a part of this only – and we do it to ourselves (not to mention everyone else).

    Duniya sudhre ya nahin … if even one person who reads this can look at themselves and feel a little better about how they look – main chain ki neend so paaongi ! *haan ji*

    1. My point was entirely different. It’s not that women don’t recognize Irfan Khan’s talent, it’s just that they are genuinely attracted to good-looking actors. Same goes for men who are attracted to Katrina Kaif even if they realize that Vidya Balan is a better actress. Beauty definitely has a big pull and it’s useless to deny it.

      Whether you want to live by that standards or not is entirely a different matter. It is basically a deeper question- whether you want to get affected when people call you ugly, fat, short, SC, ST, poor, pakistani etc. etc. etc. Long list. 🙂 I think people need to get busy in something that they love to do and be happy, and let all the bullshit take care of itself. 🙂

      1. Thats the thing though. I am not talking about why men are attracted to women or vice versa. I’m talking about the respect that society has for the female form. The judging of another woman’s body, judging your own body how it leads to a lot of psychological scarring for women world over. I can choose to ignore all the BS in the world about what people say about my body but that doesnt make their judgment right or ok. Im an adult now and thats fine, Ive learned to let things go to a huge extent. But say this to every 4 year old chubby girl whose mother has put her on a diet. Every seven year old who walks into school only to be taunted fatty fatty. Say this to every awkward teenager who turns to anorexia or bulimia to “fit in”. Its not about the fact that men are attracted to good looking girls but that society indoctrinates you into believing that you are somehow “unworthy” of love because you don’t subscribe to said ideals.

        1. And yes I agree that beauty has a big pull – but beauty isn’t objective. There is no perfect size and shape that will be the standard for beauty for all eternity. Beauty – its subjective – and its time to reconsider what we consider beautiful and to let go of the way we have been conditioned to look at beauty.

            1. If you are unhappy yourself, then nobody can save you. But I guess the article was about others pointing it out that you are not-such-and-such and making you unhappy. And others WILL keep pointing out whenever you are lacking something desirable in your life. The whole society is structured to cut down a person’s ego to its size and fit him/her into the mould needed for the society to function.

              And your ego will always take a hit for something or the other unless and until it has an oxygen supply from somewhere. Which means you need to be good in what you are good at, which will keep boosting your ego, and the rest of the bullshit will slowly fade way…

              And if you are not good at something, I hope you are really thick-skinned. 🙂 But society would never stop pointing fingers, no matter what. Sad truth about life.

              1. Let me ask you one thing sanjeevji – What do you tell little girls – when they are too young to have “thick skins”, to have “made something out of themselves” or to have any alternate supply of “oxygen to your ego?”. What then ? What are the ideals that you would pass on to your child ? What will you say to your daughter when she comes home crying because someone called her ugly or fat or maachis ? I know I would tell my child that words mean nothing and that she must be good and strong – but will that mean that the words did not hurt her? How do you teach a child to have that self respect ? I know you will equip your child with these tools, to take the good and forget the rest. But all I wanted to say in this post is what I think alot of women in this generation need to hear. Because the people who should have equipped us with these life skills tried to make us “stronger” but cutting down our own self esteem until we began to do it ourselves and never even realised it. I dont know if it is different for men but from what I see with my guy friends – gender has a huge role to play here. For women the body is the bench mark by which they are always evaluated and at some point the focus has got to shift. Do you tell a handicapped person – I think you would be beautiful if only you had two legs ???? No right. You respect their difference. So why cant the same apply to body diversity ???

                1. I would really make my children stronger by engaging them in healthier things. Rest is on them how they shape up. 🙂

                  Do you know the point about lashing out? That if you DO lash out, you have already lost the war about being comfortable with yourself. If you respond to this kind of stimuli, your equilibrium is already gone. Because if you were really comfortable with yourself, you’d not be getting angry and lashing out in the first place. The only point I am trying to make is that the world will not change. I read from a poet in the school that “Parninda ras se bada koi ras nahin hai” 🙂 So there. But your response to stimuli can change. Not talking about only appearance here, in general. People will keep pointing about your shortcomings. Ignore and move ahead. But if you decide to get angry, you have already lost the whole war.

                  So there. Eat a chocolate and keep your cool. And get rid of such friends. 🙂

                  1. *hifive* eat chocolate and keep cool – hell yes !

                    You are so right about changing your response to stimuli – but also with this post I just wanted to reach out to all those who often create their own stimuli – for no reason – I’ve done it too – its unhealthy – but we are all still human. 😀

                    heee heee – if only daaru solved all of lifes problems 😛
                    Whats that phrase – If alcohol is the problem then yes is the solution ? rofl

                2. Gender issue to hai, because of two things a) ladkiyaan daroo nahin peeti (percentage wise I mean :D) b) ladkiyan doosri ladki ki haddi pasli nahin todti, so they have to work with their tongue. Ladkon mein to ladai ho jaati aur maamla sort out ho jaata. 😀

  8. Very relevant post, especially in this age where the perception of beauty is taking such a negative shift. I had read a quote somewhere on the lines that “what is beauty without imperfections!”. So when we can adore Julia Robert’s huge mouth, we should embrace our imperfections as well. Big deal, it is what we are and we should celebrate it! So be fit and have a positive attitude and dont judge yourself based on other’s perceptions 🙂

  9. Awesome article…. met a friend you has been living in UK since 12 she is a bit chubby…we were just discussing how in our asian community commenting about other peoples weight is so common.Also each time you meet someone they will tell you if you have gone down a bit or put on, cant understand why it concerns them…. this does not happen only to overweight people… it happens to average or thin people…. Grrr annoys me so much

  10. thoughts so well put- together…. *jai ho*
    am chubby, infact, overweight and used to hearing such comments and advises from friends, family, people around me….similar way, they tell me to loose weight as it will improve my appearance…it irritates me, depresses me at times *cry* …and i try to do whatever i can do to be fit n healthy and not just for becoming slim… *jogging*
    I love myself the way i am….and i urge all of u to love urself the way u r….try to improvise but dont reject or neglect urself..

  11. Wonderful post! i am not fat but i am not so fit and perfect either. I have seen this happen to myself and to many of my loved ones. If you are so cautious on what you eat, work out religiously etc ppl will comment telling “I think you must eat little more” “Take some rest and give the gym a break” “collarbones make you look starved” etc.. And, when we put on a little weight or ask for another scoop of icecream, the very same person is there advising us how we should reduce weight and watch what we eat. The world will continue pouring its UNWANTED advise on us no matter what we do and how we look. Nowadays i have learnt to politely decline such comments/advises.

  12. Jhanvi……..I support your thoughts completely. While there is nothing wrong in being, fat, thin and then something in between, its highly inappropriate for people to snigger and be judgmental. Actually, people are also mocked in the same way for being too thin too, so the thing is that you would never be able to satisfy anyone and you should not even waste your time doing that, be the way what makes you happy, that is what only matters. Lose weight, gain weight whenever you feel you want, not because someone wants to. Actually, there’s this one very pretty television actress in malayalam tv who was mocked for being too fat, then she went on all-liquid diet for 6 months and became all bones and waifer thin and now people criticize her for being too thin…… *headbang* *headbang* *headbang* *headbang* *headbang*

    1. Actors problems are of a whole different level – I feel so bad for most of them – because its a lifelong psychological thing they have to deal with – and I have so many friends now working in the industry – its insane how much of their self esteem comes from their weight and looks alone ! *headbang* *headbang* *headbang* *headbang*

  13. Very well said Janhavi, If you don’t love your body,you cannot expect some one else to appreciate you on your look.And when you start loving yourself ,you stop compairing with others and become happy and beautiful.

    It seems IMBB girls really stand on the policy of appreciating others, cause all the OOTD’s scores maximum comments…. 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

    Love you all gals…

  14. Awesome post..!!! *jai ho* I strongly believe the line ‘No body is going to love you if you dont love yourself’..!! We should be comfortable in our own skin.. and never bother what others feel about our personality.. *devil* 🙂 superb post Jhanvi..!! 🙂

  15. Awesome article Janhavi.i could so relate to it as i am overweight by at least 8 to 10 kgs and have been listening to a lot of things from people including my family. i remember very vividly an episode when i was at Singapore and was not even allowed by the SA to enter a FILA showroom saying that they stock only M and S and not L sizes. It was rude and did not go down too well with me , but now i have decided to stay healthy ( if not thin ) and love my self. *thankyou* *thankyou*

  16. Hey jhanvi…wat a luvly post..only ystrday my friend compared me 2 sm1 whose more chubbier than me…although I wont say dat it dint hurt me but i take it kind of positively and went for a walk n yoga both..v should luv ourselves d way v r enjoy our positive attributes rather than let it hamper our peace…thanks a tonn 4 dis article.. *puchhi*

  17. Sanjeev ji’s comments make a lot of sense to me…
    People will find faults in you..no matter what you do..trust me on that..so there is no point thinking about it..rather engage yourself in something that makes u happy..and let the people say whatever they wanna say..

  18. J Doo, I have been one of those people who have struggled with weight issues all their lives. Gained, lost, gained, and then got married at my fattest best whereas the whole world actually tries to lose weight to look good in their wedding pics. And then I started doing fashion posts where I received all kinds of comments, starting from my looks to weight to people around me. Thankfully I was super thick skinned so they didn’t affect me much and I did what ever I pleased. Also, I tried to concentrate on the whole lot of positive comments that I got. I took the decision of being healthy mostly because my love for clothes was growing and most brands in India as someone mentioned make you feel fat. I also work from home so the only time I could really move my ass was during the gym time. It made sense to me and I always take gym as a stress-buster for me whether I lose inches or not. I have barely reduced any grams in past 8-10 months. And I am in a happy place now.

    I would say that my whole concept of loving your body actually made sense when I read Rujuta Diwekar’s books. I mean those two cups of tea with sugar or eating pasta or pizza wont kill you. And she assured that. I see most fitness experts work on the scare basis. If you eat this this would happen, if you eat that..that would happen. this is harmful, that is cancerous. And then you start becoming obsessive. Once I had a “fitness freak” drinking tea at my home and she said I will make you lose 3 kgs within a week if you work out with me. I liked her then so i was polite and asked her” what if I dont want to lose those 3 kgs? what if I am happy with the way I look?” Well she didnt have an answer but I thought it was rude. I mean let me decide if I want to lose those 3 kgs are not.

    I personally think you just have to be thick skinned and find happiness in something else. People would never stop commenting on how you look and being online and public only makes things difficult.

    And J doo since I know you I think you are a gem of a person and there is sooooo much more to your personality. You can make people fall in love with things be it reading, film making, your baking or your awesome restaurant hopping. Yours is the happiest blog I have ever read and I would love to read more and more from you. Always stay as you are. :-*

    1. Rati….I cannot thank you enough for recommending Rutuja Diwekar’s book, she makes so much sense to me. You are perfect, you do not need to reduce any weight *puchhi* *puchhi*

      1. So true!! I am such a fan of Diwekar’s books… I am glad I laid my hands on this book and I became more accepting towards my body which I use to lose on some bad days of mine hating everything about my body… the book taught me to love myself…
        I learnt that, exercise to ‘lose weight’ is the most lame reason… the best reason to work out is ‘the want’ to have a ‘healthy body’ and maintain it for life to avoid lifestyle related problems such as diabetes or high BP, etc… Weight loss is merely the by product of your workout.

    2. rofl i wud hv loved to see the expressions while hearing those not to lose 3 lbs wala dialogue.. *hihi* usp of ur comment ws that 3 lb wala dialogue.. *jai ho* still cant help laughing out loud, i am imagining hw the whole scenraio wud hv been shot in actual.. *clap*

    3. Thank you so much ratidoo ! Your words really made my day. I knew when I wrote this post that IMBB was its rightful home. I totally understand what you mean when you told that friend about not wanting to lose 3kg now. It is your body and your choice to do what you want. I’ve learned over the years to have that thick skin but something inside me just needed these words to come out. I didnt always have a thick skin and sometimes I have to remind myself over and over again that other people aren’t worth the bother and after all I am still a work in progress 😛

      Have had a major change in my life recently but it should lead to me writing some more. Love and hugs !

  19. wow!! just wow……that was really well said..!!!b4 we expect someone to love us…we should really start loving us…:)

  20. Amazing article Jhanvi And motivating comments…I am also in the process of weight loss since last six months…but instead of doing rigorous diet and exercise going for little lifestyle improvements.
    Once I read Cindy Crawford said “I wish i could look like Cindy Crawford “.
    It is all because of this Photoshop…
    I really want to thank u for writing this amazing article which is like a soul food for me…
    and Rati for mentioning her experiences…

  21. Good time for this article. I joined a fitness program recently (just concluded). Pretty intense so I just couldnt do all of it. I could see these ppl all around me doing so well. It never bothered me though but what got to me was that was that extra weight i put on post the workout (all that additional eating). I freaked out first couple of times but i just couldnt go on like that so now i have come to accept the way I am. I am trying to be careful with the food intake but i really cant live feeling misrable. ( i am not all supportive of the size 0 or pwomen trying to be wafer thin)

  22. Very well said Jahnavi….
    To lose or gain weight has to be an individual choice and not be forced by anyone upon them…Do it only if YOU want to…But whatever do, always love your body the way it is…

  23. Jhahnavi I can feel wt u wanted to convey thru ur well written post.. *clap* *clap* Sadly i also agree that wen we are topic of discussions we generally feel it is unfair bt sometimes even we r biased and dont even think from another person’s prospective, Sanjeev ji and ur conversation was interesting enough and an eye opener for me to think twice before pin pointing others and ask ourself first whether we wud love to be called this or that, or whether we wud hv loved to be treated in this manner etc etc..? *haan ji*
    You won’t believe my kiddo is hardly 20 mnths old and whenever i share her pics among my relatives n all of fb, i usually hear “neetu’s baby is not porcelain fair or picture perfect chubby like any american baby even after being born in US” “why does’nt she speak long sentences, any indian child of her age speaks like ferari” *hihi* can u imagine even in dreams that a 20 mnth old baby can also become target of such discussions.. *hihi* *hihi* well i always take it on lighter note for the fact that i know people who say so are my relatives not my parents.. *nonono* so basically for me its like if our parents say something i m gonna think on it or further rectify our mistakes for they are superior n supreme (after my better half and my baby) and i only feel and think about the facts which our parents say, for rest i give a damn who cares.. *specs* Well I didnot stopped sharing pics of my kiddo nor i banned those people from my fb, they r adamant to judge my kiddo just by pics, though they nvr ever met her in person.. *hihi* now u may well imgaine wt wud hv been scenario for me trnforming from a gal to a mother.. *hihi* I gained some 20-25 kgs thruout motherhood and still happily flaunt my abs even after 20 mnths.. *hihi* *hihi* I belive if aishwarya cannot escape crticism post delivery to hum kis khet ki mulli hain.. rofl rofl well it ws agin on lighter note.. *specs*
    Over all i must say i wud like to pin ur article and read it agin before i become restless and disturbed by wt people think abt me, my baby as well as before i dare even think of criticising someone else.. *haan ji* *clap* *clap* superb buddy!!

    1. however i do think that d day will never come wen i wil bother wt others say abt me n my family.. *haan ji* kudos to writers n people who think like u.. *haan ji*

      1. Your baby should look like an American just because she was born there?? Your relatives are very funny! I’d suggest have a good laugh whenever anyone says that!! 😀 *rofl* rofl

        1. *hihi* I knw preeti… Bt dats nt just example of my relatives in person, every other Indian mum I knw here narrates same freaking funny stories *hihi*
          The thing is they won’t ever tell you directly dis is it, rather choose to discuss it wid every possible person u may or may nt knw.. never mind.. *smug* it doesn’t matter. I just stood up to narrate a funny story for good laugh.. *haan ji* *thankyou* *happydance*

        1. Lol Neetu your relatives seem to have losted their brains now and they are proving that too *hihi* *hihi* tell your relative that if she and her husband goes to the place where negro people stay.. would their baby be a negro *hihi* *hihi* it depends upon the parents and not the climate or the place *headbang* *headbang* *headbang*

          1. ditto.. *hifive* rofl rofl bt anyways dats the way it is yaar.. *specs* my relatives r nt the only ones in this planet who think out of the world.. *hihi* list is endless, I cannot stop myself from telling you that once a mum, guf frnd of mine as well approached me after knowing that i read imbb a beauty blog and she ws asking me to post a query on her behalf for hw to make fairness packs or ubtans for infants (she has 4 mnths old baby boy).. I dnt feel it ws her mistake bt she ws like preoccupied by insane thoughts who made her to think like dat isnt? It took me a week to console her and convince that posting a query is nt solution! today i mailed her this link, am sure she wud be very happy and more confident after reading this post! *happydance* *happydance*

            1. huhhhhh *shock* *shock* *scared* how lame yaa *headbang* *headbang* that poor baby might not be even knowing what fair and dark words mean *cry* i am sure she will be consoled by this post at the end but yes yaar this tradition of becoming fair and stuff has been going on *hihi* even i always want to be more fair but i never criticize myself for that *hifive*

              1. Aww.. u need not to be d one *haan ji* u r a cutiepie.. *whistle* *whistle*
                i wonder relatives think abt u still okay bt what happened to other people who used to criticise aishwarya for her post preganncy weight gain. they were nt linked to her family or baby in any way why they were bothered abt her weight gain. you tube fb was full of those elephant voices being portrayed aishwarya in loop.. *hunterwali* kitna time h in logo k paas aise ulte kaam karne k liye.. *jai ho* *hihi*

            2. OMG fairness pack for a baby ?!!!! *nababana* *nababana* *nababana* *nababana* Thats so unfair for the poor baby. Its really time to stop this whole colonial fairness obsession we have ! *nababana* *nababana* *nababana* *nababana* *nababana* *nababana*

              1. It will one day jhanvi.. *haan ji* I have high hopes from our generation and writers like you who always buck up with full spirit.. *clap* we will make better world for sure.. *hifive* *clap* *happy dance*

                1. oh gosh i need to share this funny incident i came across just nw.. *hihi* rofl
                  my baby was standing just next to me while i ws busy reading ur comment jhanvi.. suddenly she started nodding her head left to right, *nababana* i ws clueless wts her issue.. *ghost* finally revealed that u posted so many noddies *nababana* *nababana* *nababana* *nababana* and she ws imitating them.. *hihi*
                  kids r so lovely.. *hihi*

  24. this is such an inspirational post.. *clap* I believe in the quote “Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful” you have to be comfortable in your own body and soul no matter whether you are fat or thin.. discover the beautiful you from within and others will follow suit! 🙂

  25. This is such an excellent, well written post. The woman who loves her body because she loves herself is an anomaly these days. It’s sad. And you’re right, the societal pressures are endless. Weddings are the worst for it. Instead of a celebration of family, culture, and love, the turn into a superficial event about.clothes, flowers and how “pretty” the bride looks. Not how happy she and her new husband are. It’s women like you who.write.these entries and love themselves, who make all the.difference. And it’s women like you that girls should look up to, women who empower and uplift other women, instead of shattering their self.esteem.

  26. Mind blowing post.. *thankyou* for this..i think you have just poured out the feelings what every girl feels about herself..hats off to your confidence..quite an inspiration for all of us..i completely agree that no one is contended with what we have and always start comparing things..i can also quote an example that whenever my mom watches a beauty cream ad and they way the show skin color transforming from a ugly duckling to a diva..my mom asks me one question ” why is that you dont get this magic on ur skin”…she has given the answer it is a magic something beyond our reach…the same applies for our weight issue also…we should learn to love ourselves and engage in activities what we love and enjoy to do and in that situations we will never get time to think about criticisms…Awesome post..:)

  27. Nicely written Janhavi….there’s so much more to a person but most people just don’t make past the superficial level of looks….so I too think just keep doing your best and leave the rest 🙂 🙂

  28. Janhavi, I liked the post a lot. It makes so much of sense. I am a narcissist more so because my hubby keeps praising me for my looks.. hihihi.. Jokes apart, I know what you mean when others point fingers at you for being fat.

    I had issues of complexion in my childhood but I overcame those long back. As I grew up, I realized that the most beautiful face is the one that smiles with kindness and politeness and the best body is the one that moves to help others! That’s it.

  29. Oh my God this was such a refreshing post!!! Kudos to you girl!!!
    I was born chubby and was targeted for my weight ever since then. Due to constant enqueries from relatives and others my Mom got so worried that she actually took me to the Doctor to find out if i was normal.The doctor said that there was nothing to worry and i was a perfectly healthy child.
    Even girls i know have a lot to say about my weight. But thankfully I love my self and am quite happy with the body God has given me. I treat it as a temple and do indulge in a chessy pizza or a chocolate brownie.
    The only solution is to love and accept yourself and just focus on what you do have.
    Instead of obsessing about those flabby arms love cute smile you have or how good you are in a particular hobby or an activity.

    Loved this article and i hope to read more such articles from you. *clap*

    From,
    a chubby girl who absolutely loves her chubby cheeks!!! *happydance*

  30. Great post.Sadly we live in a society where the very definition of beauty is what we see on the television.I would like to point out that in many countries fat is beautiful..so much so that young girls are force fed to gain weight.My point is every society has its own definition of beauty and yes people will never stop commenting and one should not be bothered by other peoples thoughts because frankly thats their problem.I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE.But at the end of the day we would be remembered by how good natured we were not by how skinny or “hot”.So yeah chill out and loveeee yourself.

  31. A very touching article. Me myself being on the right side of the scales can completely relate and feel exactly how de humanising it is when somebody judges you only by your outer appearance. Forget about strangers your own friends and relatives leave no chance to insult you. Infact to discuss your weighty issues even with complete strangers becomes their favourite time pass. Sometimes it feels even a gali ka kutta can come and lecture you on weight loss or share some stupid weight loss advice with you. Your article is very motivating. May be we should often share our feelings and feel good.

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