IMBB 2 Lakh Facebook Fans Giveaway!



Okies, I am fine now. Ahem.

I was expecting this giveaway two three days later according to my calculations, but I suppose we got fans at a faster rate than I expected. πŸ™‚ I was reading a book and munching a sandwich when suddenly Rati started whooping and screaming with joy. And then Jomol ‘Peacock’ James (I shall tell you the story about the Peacock thing later) started calling and Neha started messaging, and my biwi still kept screaming. And I realized I had miscalculated about our 2 lakh milestone. *sigh*

Oh well, Yayyyyyyy!

IMBB 2 Lakh Facebook Fans Giveaway!

Okies here’s a small giveaway for all our fans. Rati was really in a giveaway mood and she decided to give her favorites; brand new Mango bag and Chanel eyeshadow palette. And some more goodies. πŸ™‚


  • Open to all Females residing in India.
  • In the comments, tell us about a funny incident in your life OR the funniest joke that you know. πŸ™‚


The First Winner gets Mango Bag along with Chanel Eyeshadow Palette
The Second Winner Gets MAC Eyeshadow Palette with Illamasqua red lipgloss and lipstick.
The Third Winner gets Lakme skincare goodies.

mango bag and chanel eyeshadow palette

mac and illamasqua

lakme goodies

Good Luck Peeepals! Have Fun!

P.S. : Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

madam gupshup forums

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410 thoughts on “IMBB 2 Lakh Facebook Fans Giveaway!

  1. Well it happened once wit my mom.
    She had has a habit of getting confused with people ‘s names.So my mom and dad were invited for a party.And dad ‘s friend name was Mustaq and his son’s name was Mudassar(later u ll know why i took these names).So wen my mom dad reached the venue it happened that the hosts came in to greet my mom dad.And in a confusion my mom called the friend’s Son saying Mustaq how are you? All seem to be startled for a moment then my dad’s friend told my momin a hilarious-embarassed manner Mustaq is fine and this Mudassar is also fine too.Everybody burst out laughing

  2. Yipyyyyyyyyyyy!
    Sigh rati the bag is too good πŸ™
    and the makeup sigh i wannntttt
    Lucky readers…….dil khol ke participateeeeeeeeee IMBB is the best! muah!

  3. Defination of a girl –

    Girl is someone who before going out for a party gets,

    Hair Curling/Straighting,
    Moisturising, done


    Put on

    Body lotion,
    Body Toner,
    Eye Shadow,
    Eye Liner,
    Face Powder,
    Lip Liner,
    Lip Gloss,
    Nail Paint,
    Party Dress,

    and says….

    ‘Gosh, I was in hurry, so couldn’t do much. I just had to rush!’ πŸ˜›

    1. couldnt stop laughing, so true! and you know whats funnier? after all this she says “how do i look/ i dont look that great”
      my hubby once replied to to me “this is surely not you. so i cant say how do you look!” needless to say i never ask him again how do i look?

  4. Funniest incident in my life was:
    Once I received a call from one guy,he said he wants to talk to my brother.When I asked his name ,he replied that his name is sehwag.I was laughing so much,I said to him that he dialed a wrong number.Then he again called me after some days,he wanted to talk to my brother,this time I shouted at him and gave him warning to never to call at our home.I was thinking how people try to fool us.Then one day I was talking about this incident to my sister.My brother heard our conversation,he said why did I scold him.I asked him that he was telling his name to be SEHWAG and I thought how can Virender Sehwag(the cricketer) call me.I thought somebody is trying to be friends with me, thats why he is playing all these pranks.
    Then my brother explained me that he is not playing any prank,his friend’s sirname is also SEHWAG.OMG,then I realised that I have done something wrong by hurting his friend because of this big misunderstanding.But it was not completely my fault because I didnt any friend of my brother with this name.After this incident we all did laugh a lot.I can never forget this funny and embarrasing incident.I couldnt talk to my brother’s friend after this incident but I asked my brother to say sorry to him from my side. πŸ™‚

  5. A famous inspirational speaker said: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!” The audience was silent with shock. He continued: “She was my mother!” Applause and laughter! A man tried this at home. After a few pegs, he said loudly to his wife, in kitchen: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!” Standing for a moment trying to recall the second half, he finally blurted out: “I can’t remember who she was!” By the time he regained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water! MORAL: Don’t copy if you can’t paste!

  6. hey congrts…and prizes are awesome…

    I will share a joke I am loving these days, so here I go

    Rajnikanth was invited as a contestant in big boss’s house…
    next day, announcement was made…

    rajnikanth chahtey hain ki big boss confession room mein aaye


    Big boss 6

    aalag shey..


  7. In India-1Crore= Khoka500 Crore= Koda1,000 Crore= Radia10,000 Crore= Kalmadi100,000 Crore= Raja10 Raja=1 Pawar100 Pawar= 1 Sonia Gandhi

  8. This has to be by far the funniest thing that has happened to me. I was 10 year old then. This Guy who used to supply milk to us had come to our house to collect the bill amount for the month. While my mum was paying him, I noticed he had long hair till his shoulders. I started speaking to my mom in my mother tongue Tulu saying “How could he keep such long hair? He is a guy. Why does he have long hair like a girl? He should be ashamed.” And I went on and on without realising my mom was glaring at me to stop. After a moment of awkward silence, my mom asked the guy in Hindi if he understood what I had said and the guy repeated everything I said in Hindi. I was embarrassed to the core and never again did I blurt out anything in public in any language πŸ˜›

  9. A friend having a conversation with another friend: AJAY:Hey murder cases for dowry are going down rapidly.Why do you think so this is happening?Is our administration progressing rapidly? VIJAY:Oh yes!I think so,our government is increasing the price of petrol and diesel day by day.

  10. Here is one funny story:
    A student reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

    During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

    “I finished the exam in a half hour,” she replies. “Now I’m rechecking my answers.”

  11. Friends are the ones who wont let you “fall” but they will laugh their ass out if you fall. πŸ˜€ A similar incident happened with me and my friends. Me and two of my Guy-friends (Anas and Zaid) were on our way back from college, This guy Anas is a big show off , so he tried doing some stunts on the road, Me and Zaid were looking on, it so happened Anas stepped on something and fell flat on his face. We couldn’t help but laugh and laugh, all the people kept looking on but instead of helping him get up, we sat on the road as we were partially numb, we laughed so much. As m writing this, I giggle a lil as the whole scenario pops in front of my eyes. lol.

  12. Girls are special!!!!!

    When a Girl Accepts Your Friend Request
    it means she accepted Your “Friendship” Not Your “Proposal”..
    When a Girl sends you a Friend Request
    it means She wants to be your Friend not Your Girlfriend.
    When She Tag you
    it means she wants to share her Thoughts with You
    ‘n not that She’s Lost in Your Thoughts..
    When she comments on Your status
    it means She’s just being Social ‘n not Flirting..
    When She Like Your comment
    it means She like Your Comment not You. !

  13. R U a High Scoring Studnt ?
    Kya Aap Gud Mrks La-la Kr Bor Ho
    Chuke h ?
    to Join Engineering….
    Marks Se No Marks,
    Ache Mrks Se Chutkara,
    Fark Dkhiye Sirf 1 Semester. Me…..:D:D

  14. As we all know, saddest moment of a girls life is when she leaves her parents house to start her own new life with a new family but amazingly my saddest moment turned into a funniest one. It was immediately after my feras in gurudwara when i were to leave for my sasural with my new family, everybody from my miyka was crying and i was the only one laughing out loud, indeed it was weird for everyone but i wasn’t able to stop myself and reason behind it was my husband who whispered something in my ear. Guess what was it ” thora jaldi chalo mere pajame ka nada tut gaya hai, samnee stairs hai agar gir gaya to sab gadbad ho jaega, sambhalna mushkil ho raha hai” it was one funniest moment of my life.

    1. Congrats IMBB…I hope we reach many many more marks soon!

      I have a lot of funnies to tell, I hope more than one allowed!

      September 2006, during internship. I was posted in the Obs-Gyn department. The ward was overfull, flowing literally with new mommies and their wailing babies. Tired after all the work, I dragged over to the nursing station and flopped onto a chair
      “This ward is so full!” I complained.
      “Yeah, its always full, in September” claimed the in charge sister, “Even Dr. XYZ, the HOD says, September is the busiest”
      “Oh is it? Why so?” I asked
      “Oh” she blushed, “December mein bahut thand hoti hain naaaaaa.”

      September 2007, newly married. Ganesh Chaturthi time

      My sasuma makes these awesome rice flour chaklis during Ganesh Chaturthi. That year we had worked on them together, and filled them up in steel dabbas, along with other snacks. Just before the big day, to make way for Lord, we were busy moving furniture around the house. My sasurji was handing me all the snack and prasad dabbas. My hands were sweaty from the work, and one of the dabbas slipped and the lovely chaklis were all broken into pieces.
      Being the new bride, my goof was forgiven, but I became the butt of my husband’s jokes who still goes around telling people that I have the recipe for most awesome “Tukda Chakli”
      Two years later, May 2010 when I was at the hostel studying for my exams, I was missing my husband a lot. Getting all nostalgic, I was going through a bunch of our pictures and videos on my laptop. I stumbled upon a video taken by his friend. His friend was pulling a fast one on my hubby’s cousin where he made a video of her, with her posing for the “picture” he was taking. And in the background what do I hear? My hubby dearest telling his aunts, how I made my special “Tukda Chakli” during Ganesh Chaturthi! While I was livid with rage then, the story still makes us laugh like mad

          1. ok, I ll fwd naan vez on fone yahan I write veg joke πŸ˜€ >>>>>> plz chooj veg joke option too :- A-santa banta joke. B- teacher student joke , C- boy-girl joke , D- Rajnikant joke ,E- CID joke , F- misc. joke

  15. One day, my parents, my brother and I were on our way to have some ice cream. My Mom was in a bad mood, cribbing about the load of cleaning to do at home, and how the maid wasn’t cooperating. Finally at the ice cream parlor, we were getting ready to order and my brother asked my Mom what flavor she wanted. My Mom, still sulking, barely glanced at the menu before replying, “I’ll have scotch brite”. We went, “WHAAT?”. It took her a few seconds to realize that she had misspoken, when she actually meant butterscotch and not the scouring pad. To this day, ordering ice cream always leads to laughing about Mom’s ‘scotch brite’ flavored treat!!

  16. As we all know, saddest moment of a girls life is when she leaves her parents house to start her own new life with a new family but amazingly my saddest moment turned into a funniest one. It was immediately after my feras in gurudwara when i were to leave for my sasural with my new family, everybody from my miyka was crying and i was the only one laughing out loud, indeed it was weird for everyone but i wasn’t able to stop myself and reason behind it was my husband who whispered something in my ear. Guess what was it ” thora jaldi chalo mere pajame ka nada tut gaya hai, samnee stairs hai agar gir gaya to sab gadbad ho jaega, sambhalna mushkil ho raha hai” it was one funniest moment of my life.

  17. Hi…here goes my funny incident of my life..i guess i was 8 years old(now i have 23 πŸ™‚ ) and my darling brother had lightly slapped me and i went to my mother cry and started mumbling in front of her and making action just to say that ‘bhaiya na mara’ but then my mother said pehle ro le ya bol le(either cry 1st or tell your story) and i realized i was crying in a song way and doing actions which i was also not able to understand and which made me and everybody laugh at the end πŸ™‚

  18. First of all many congratulations to u guys… I wish this number grows bigger n bigger day by day.. Second by second.. I love this blog so much I keep reading and try and learn many new things.. just because of you πŸ™‚

  19. Many Many congrats for acheiving the milestone…. May u grow more & more

    Wish u luck wish u joy,May u have baby boy. when his hair starts 2 curl, May u have baby girl. Wen she starts wearin pins, May u have a pair of twins. When ur twins turn to 4 ,May u have a baby more. N if u go wid dis scheme , u will have a football TEAM…………..!

  20. People often enjoy joking about love and marriage.

    Here is a joke about the first three years of marriage.
    In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
    In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens.
    In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
    Here’s another joke about marriage.

    A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
    The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

    Now let’s listen to a couple of riddles about marriage.

    Here’s the first one.

    Q: Why are men with pierced ears better suited for marriage?
    A: Because they have suffered and bought jewelry.

    Here’s another riddle.

    Q: What are the 3 important rings in life?
    A: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

    I’ll end today’s podcast with a humorous proverb-like saying.

    Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

    1. caliiiiiii how are you. Congozz to you for the adorable baby boy. mwwwwaaahhhh!!! I wish i could come and see him. Hope both of you are doing fine. πŸ™‚

  21. Hi,
    First of all Congrats for reaching the new heights!!

    My Voice sounds like a kid’s voice on the phone. ( I am 28 yrs old)
    Once i called Pizza Hut for order, the person taking the order said ” I am Sorry We Cannot Take Order from Kids.. Please give the Phone to your Mom!!! ” πŸ˜›

    I never call after that and i make someone to order for me πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Kiddos! Kudos!!

  22. Galileo’s Facebook status:
    I used to study in small Lamp at night!
    Likes:Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton
    Shakespeare: @Galileo,So what..I used to study in street light at night
    Graham Bell: @Galileo @Shakespeare…Big Deal!!I used to study in Candle Light at Night
    Superstar Rajnikanth: @All of the above….I don’t understand what you guys used to do during DAYTIME πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  23. Misuse of English!
    My first visit to your blog and its very impressive. Keep up the good work. I am happy to read a fashion blog of an Indian, after all its our skin tone that matches and thus the products that use is useful for us..:) Loved ur blog…Here goes my joke….:P

    A Diagram in A Book Was Not Clear
    So da Teacher Drew The Diagram On Da Blackboard
    β€œDont Look At The Book Figure,Look At My Figure”:D

  24. Once we were travelling with relatives to Tirupati. On the way back to Hyderabad, 3 of our relatives were given seats in the adjacent compartment and there was a 3-member family in our compartment. So we decided to request the family to move, if they can, to the next compartment, so that all of us can sit together. The moment we requested the lady in the family started shouting and abusing us. SO we decided to leave it but she picked up a fight with one of my uncles. She was screaming but my uncle was giving her cool answers which aggrevated her even more! Finally, in a very boastful manner, she said, “We’re of such a status that if anybody asks we can simply donate a 100 tickets with our left hand!”. My uncle promptly said, “Then please donate just your 3 tickets with your blessed left hand!” It left her red faced and embarassed, and we were in splits!!
    I not only smile when I remember this incident but also realise that an argument need not be won by a loud voice!! πŸ˜›

  25. Ek raat 2 baje bht tez barish ho rhi thi.
    santa ne 1 admi ke ghar ka door knock kia aur pucha Dhakka laga doge kya?
    plz plz plz..

    Admi nind me tha isliye mana kr k andar aa gya.

    use guilty feel hua.socha barish me koi meri help na krta to?
    Wo utha aur bahar ja k bola-santa g kya tumhe abi dhakke ki zarurat hai?
    Awaz ayi -HAAN.

    …Admi-Thik hai, tum ho kaha?


  26. Hi Rati
    Me also rati.
    Recalling about the funniest incident, I remember one from my sister’s side.She was a kid in Class 2 and it was her bday.There was a boy in his class who bought hershey’s chocolates that day. She loved those so instead of asking for the chocolates she asked him,” Tu mujhse shaadi karega”, to get those chocolates. When I got acquainted with this incident I laughed like anything.
    I 2-year old girl saying this.

  27. Thanks for the opportunity to narrate my most funny and embarrassing incident in i was with my cousins and we were returning after one if our night out’s, when i could not hold my bladder any more, try as much as i could to divert my attention to other pleasant thoughts rather than the immediate gratification ofmy elimination need….but alas all my brains could think, sleep or eat was the need to relieve was quite late in the night and my cousin refused to stop the car saying that we were quite close to home.So to my good luck, he was hungry and needed a snack..i made of this oppurtunity and begged him to stop..which he did but citing readings such as”its not a place i can take girls to “he locked my cousin and me in the car and left.Imagine my anger and desperation.i could hold no longer soooooooo i hunted for something to perform the deed and found an empty plastic cover, and immediately did what i knew best…phew was i happy ! But what i was not prepared for was the plastic cover had a small hole and all the liquid spilled onto my cousin new tavera hahaha..i still can’t stop laughing when i saw the look on my cousin face..the seat was completely soiled…and i could not even throw the bag because the car was locked… cousin brother eventually returned and as soon as he came i discreetly threw the bag out…..All of this would have been just an incident had not for my cousin brothers comment the next morning “hey something funny happened the the seat you were sitting on was completely wet and it vaguely smelt of beer”…oh boy did that crack me up….lol

  28. It was the incident of my brothers marraige.My bhabhi has tendencu to forget the roads & streets.After bidaai she is crying & then me ,my brother & she sat in tha car & driver is driving.We have to go from ahemdabad to baroda.she was crying & suddenly she stopped crying & said i dnt remember the way to baroda from the venue place & my brother told her u dnt know but driver knows & we all started laughing. πŸ™‚

  29. Hi guys,
    So this one Sunday a few years my School gang decided to go bowling. We met up after a really long time and my friend has just bought a new camera!! She kept taking pictures and I was, as ever, happy to pose πŸ˜‰ It was my turn to bowl and i was already moving when she came running to take a pic…and thud!!! She accidentally ran on the bowling lane and landed on her ass.. still took a pic though πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ We guys laughed like crazy…and finally helped her up πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ We were just back to normal when we saw a warning sign near the lane saying the bowling lanes are slippery and please don’t step on it. We left from there in splits of laughter after naming that warning sign after my friend πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ I still laugh like crazy every time I go there…and make it a point to get the same lane πŸ˜€

  30. Well, there is this very famous incident in my family that everyone still laughs on. It goes like…..
    My mom has a nagging habit to call my younger brother as kutta/dog when she’s angry or frustated with him. So one day, my bro was asleep since late afternoon n wasnt getting up. So mom got angry n told our newly joined housekeep ‘Danda lekar jao aur wo kutta jo upar wale room me so raha hai usko dande se maarke uthao’. Now my housekeep, unaware that my mom referred to my bro as kutta, thought that there actually is a dog in my bro’s room sleeping on his bed (rofl). And since he was afraid of dogs, he decided that he wont go directly through the door but will go through the pipeline on the first floor and barge in through the window n drive the dog away. He took all the pain and went to the first floor window of my bro’s room only to find my brother getting out of the shower (mind u almost naked) and my housekeep and bro shouted on the top of their voices with my bro running into the washroom back and the housekeep jumping from the window! It was hell hillarious! LOL

  31. A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
    The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
    The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.When I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
    The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you. You’ve broken your finger!”

  32. P.S
    congratulation to you guys for meeting the 2Lakh mark!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    and I would absolutely love it if you guys come up with an app for android πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    Keep doing what your doing πŸ™‚
    cheers πŸ™‚

  33. A: I have the perfect son.
    B: Does he smoke?
    A: No, he doesn’t.
    B: Does he drink whiskey?
    A: No, he doesn’t.
    B: Does he ever come home late?
    A: No, he doesn’t.
    B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
    A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

  34. We gals do all sort of mistakes and our darling parents don’t say anything and keep smiling on…
    And suddenly one day to teach us a lesson they give us HUSBAND…:D

  35. Well, once on bew tears eve when I had partied a little too much, I had trouble finding my shoes.
    You can imagine, my horror!! I screamed down the whole place!!
    And made everyone look for it!!
    Turns out, it was right below the chair I was sitting on!
    I was the ass of the party, nonetheless.
    A very happy new year indeed! πŸ™‚

  36. Well, once on bew tears eve when I had partied a little too much, I had trouble finding my shoes.
    You can imagine, my horror!! I screamed down the whole place!!
    And made everyone look for it!!
    Turns out, it was right below the chair I was sitting on!
    Needless to say, I was the ass of the party.
    A very happy new year indeed! πŸ™‚

  37. My 2.5 year old daughter is so obsessed with new clothes πŸ™‚
    So, yesterday , while driving around in Kolkata, she spots new vendor stalls selling sweaters for winters & asks me … what are these Mumma? I tell her: Beta, these are sweaters. You need to wear them since winter is coming. Then she goes on & on asking me: Mumma, winters kya pehen ke aayegi? uske shoes kaise honge? Woh mere liye new new sweaters layegi kya? Woh beautiful hai kya? Woh aapki friend hai kya?
    I was laughing so hard at all her questions & just could not explain to her that Winter is not a person πŸ™‚

  38. TypeTeacher to Sonu: Tumne aaj koi achacha kam kiya he kya. Sonu: Yes Sir, Teacher: Kya. Sonu: Ek aadmi ko train pakadni thi aur uske pas samay bahut hi kam tha. To mene apne kutte ko uske piche chode diya. Veh puri rafter se bhaga aur usne samay rahet hi gadi pakad li.

  39. Before Tom Cruise, Rajnikanth was approached for the movie ‘Mission Impossible’, but Rajnikanth refused as he found the title insulting πŸ˜€ πŸ˜‰

  40. Santa- Doctor This Bucket Has A Hole
    Can U Plz Repair It.
    Dr- Stupid! Do U Knw Who I Am?
    Santa- Yes I Know U R Specialist In
    Plastic Surgery…

  41. Once I was in a bathroom at a public place, and came out of the stall to wash my hands. As I came up to the sink another lady was washing her hands in the sink right next to me. She looked in the mirror at herself and said “hey, how are you?” I glanced at her, “Im well, how are you?” She turned and looked at me and gave me a confused look, then she looked back down at her hands. “So how is your mom?” I looked at her wondering if I knew her or if she knew me..I couldn’t recall her. So I answered back “Shes fine? Do I know you?” She gives me the same confused look and walks over to dry her hands.. then I noticed she had a Bluetooth in her ear. She walked away finishing her conversation. I just looked in the mirror and couldnt help but laugh..very hard.

  42. Sanjeevji..

    Didnt I tell you we would cross 2 lacs fans before you announce the giveaway..!!!!?

    many many many many wishes to everyone who is part of IMBB in some way or the other.

    And I am LOVING this giveaway.. have been hysterically laughing since last 20 mins and my lill daughter who is sitting besides me is mimicking me.. πŸ˜€

    I have way tooo many jokes to share so dunno ki kaun se wala likhoon :S

    And hey.. aapne last date to batayi nahi..

    1. Hehehehe Surabhi ji, I had more confidence in my Math..and I was busy teaching on weekends so didn’t check even.

      Aap apni kisi friend ko phone par sab jokes sunayiye. Jis par sabse jayada hansi aaye yahan post kar dijiye πŸ™‚

      1. Sanjeev ji.. aap CAT master hain.. so anybody would have more confidence on your maths. so.. no one can doubt your maths skill… zaroor FB ne hi kuch gadbad ki hogi.. πŸ˜€

        And yeah… will post some joke soon.. still deciding.. πŸ˜€ and you guys should also post some funny incident..

        If Jomo writes her incident.. I am sure she would win hands down..

        1. Surabhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii meri life poori comedy hai….koi ek incident hatke nahin hai ….he he ….please apna batao…it would be so much fun to read πŸ™‚

  43. well……after one weak of my marriage i was going market wid my frnd. In the way we both were discussing about our husband, the discussion was at the top level.,husband’s topic was in my mind. When we reached at the shop the shopkeeper asked ” What u want mam? suddenly i replied “i want husband , plz show me different kinds of models not old one which i have…….. all the people including shopkeeper started to stare me , after a while when i realized my cheeks became like tomato and everyone started to laugh…………..and me also………most funniest of my life

  44. Congrats………….
    This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself,
    when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.

    Man: “What was that for?”
    Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Natasha written on it?”

    Man: “Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races?, Natasha was the name of one of the horse I bet on.”

    The Wife looked all satisfied and goes off to work around the house.

    Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.

    Man: “What the hell was that for this time?”
    Wife: “Your horse called.”

  45. Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
    The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

    One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

    “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

    The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher

  46. In 2008 while on my assignment to US, I went out with my friends to one of the Lake in Colorado. There were private boats locked to the deck. By seeing empty boat me and my friends started sitting on them and as usual took lots of pics to upload on Orkut. Suddenly we saw some firangs (owners of the boats actually) coming towards us… we quitely stepped out and moved away.. our friend who was last to come started saying “I am fine are you…” and then we all started laughing bcoz those firangs were actually screaming on him for being on their boat and he thought .. they must be asking “how are you.. bla bla” as usually they do even to strangers … We laugh till now remembering that silly incident !! That situation was just so funny !!

  47. funniest proposed ever
    3 boys proposed a girl
    1.. main tumhare liye apni jaan d sakta hun…
    girl.. wo to sab kehte hai…
    2.. mein tumhare liye chand tarein tod sakta hun…
    girl… purana dilouge hai…
    3… mein tumhari activa ma roz petrol dalvaunga

    girl…. ansu k sath…… pagal itna chahete ho tum mujhe…..

  48. Baap Bete se:- Zindagi me kabhi Charas na peena,
    warna wo jo aage 4 Aadmi jaa rahe hai na Wo 8
    nazar aayenge,
    Beta :- “Magar Dad! wo to sirf 2 Aadmi hai.!!

  49. There were 3 friends who are heavy weighted guys.

    One of the friends saw a weight reduction ad in the newspaper which says
    ‘Lose 5-20 kgs in 1 day and that too without hitting the gym!!
    Door Delivery.’
    He immediately called them and the reception told there are 3 packages.
    1.5 kg 2.10 kg 3.15kg

    He told that he wanted the 5 kg package and he paid the amount and the next day
    a beautiful girl knocked his door.She wore a Tee with the caption ‘If you want me,catch me’ and she ran fastly from there.The guy followed to catch the girl and he reduced by 5 kgs that day.

    He called his friends the next day and informed the experience he had.

    So other friend also tried the 10 kg package and both the friends described their good experience with the weight loss treatment.

    The next day the third friend called the agency and enquired about the packages.
    He told them that he wanted the 20 kg reduction package.Then the receptionist asked him ‘Are you sure abt this sir?’,he told he is absolutely fine with it.

    He waited the next day and someone knocked the door.
    He opened the door with excitement.There was a muscular guy wearing a Tee with a caption ‘I want you!!’.

    1. First of all I really want to congratulate Rati and Sanjeevji for this awesome idea. I was about to write something when I stumbled upon a joke written above and couldn’t help reading others. I have been laughing my belly out and forgot my joke.

      salute to you.

  50. As you must have seen by my likes on your post…..m crazy bout shoes…
    I have two incidents to tell you… actually in mi ofc in a conversation i told them i love high heel shoes and i have max 4 inched one..after some days honey singh’s high heel song was released and one day mi friends in mi ODC started singing this song just to tease me….N i was laughing badly.

    One more incidents alike has happened actually i pronounciate PURPLE as PUrPLE so they nick named me PO PO(gurr) and after few days Son of Sardar’s PO PO song was released this time when they sung this song and did that PO PO step i cun’t stop my self and laughed n laughed a lot…

  51. Misuse of word “One Night Stand”
    There was this family sitting together for dinner…2 servants were serving them meal…while an edlerly perosn from family said…”whats wrong with today’s food…yesterday’s cooked food was so awesum..where is miya(temporary servant for one day)..” On reply to this another lady servant replied…” No no sir,Miya is good only for one night stand..” haha lol πŸ˜›

  52. Best Joke I ever heard…..
    ”’Asli Tension….Height of Tension”’
    Ek baar ek aadmi car se jaa raha tha, raste me ek sunder ladki ne lift maangi.
    Wow :p
    Admi ne lift de di, kuch der baad ladki ki tabyat kharab ho gyi or usko hospital le jaya gaya.
    Doctor ne bataya ladki pregnant hai, ladki ne kaha yahi admi bachhe ka baap hai.
    Admi ne kaha nahi me baap nhi hu, to uska test karwaya gaya to pata chala admi kabhi baap nahi ban sakta h,to ye bachhe ka baap nahi hai,
    Again TENSION.
    Lekin sukun hua ki problem to tali.
    Wapis jate waqt usne car me socha…..”’ Jo do bachhe uske ghar pe hai fir wo kiske hai….”’
    Now Thats REAL TENSION :p:D:p

  53. 1)Men will always be men: Once a group of men went to tirth yatra… Their guide said don’t get distracted if you see beautiful girl bathing. Just close your eyes and say HARI OM πŸ™‚
    Next day 1 of them said HARI OM and every one’s reaction was KIDHAR HAI , kIDHAR HAI?????

    2) nEW QUESTION IN SCHOOL BOOKS… who invented the English vowels “a,e,i,o,u”?
    ANSWER: Tushar Kapoor

    3)Lady teacher to a K.G kid- Aaj tum late kyun ho gaye? School toh 8 baje shuru hota hai fir der kun kar di?
    Kid- Meri jaan, Itni fikar mat kiya karo dost shak karte hai!


    4) After an argument: WIFE: Why do you alway say “my” car, “my” house, ‘My’ Money? Why don’t you say “our”? And now what are you looking in the cupboard?

  54. Many Congratulations for such a huge milestone IMBB Team….You’re the reason we have something to like πŸ™‚
    So this is one joke that was sent to me by my brother…who by the way is as crazy as I am….the first time in a million years…I couldn’t stop laughing after reading this…

    ” there are 31674829436282663819 People in this world who….
    have not read the above number just to scroll down and see what is written next. Now you are one more of them… πŸ™‚ ;P

  55. Its so strange that the Indian question for being “in a relationship” and being in the “hospital” is the same…
    Everyone asks – “serious hai kya?”;):D

  56. When i was a child we used to live in a joint family with my cousins.At that time there were 69 channels in our cable t.v. network.The channel numbered 1 was sequenced after the channel numbered 69.So one of my cousin brother wrote in his exam that the no. dat came before 0 was 69.When asked about his mistake he replied to his mom”Why? Can’t you see that channel 1 comes after channel 69 when we watch t.v. “

  57. There is nothing more expensive than a female
    When a single drop comes out,it first mixes with “loreal”
    eyeliner and “Dior” mascara πŸ˜‰
    then when it comes down to cheek….
    it mixes with D&G blusher πŸ™‚
    . .
    and in case it touches the lips,,
    it gets mixed with “Maybelline” lipstick
    this means that a single drop is worth atleast Rs.1500 πŸ˜€ :

  58. oh is that so I m so sorry for that
    I will take care of this next time. well congrats
    once again for imbb teams success

  59. This incident just happened 2 days back
    1) I was talking bath. So after washing off the shampoo I went to open the conditioner bottle.
    there was still some soap in my eyes so I couldn’t see very clearly but I knew the exact place and I found the conditioner and i applied it all over my hair.

    2)Then as we are supposed to do I let it on for 3-5 minutes and then I washed it.

    3)After washing it , to my horror I realised my hair were stuck together .I washed them again , twice thrice but no !!!

    4)Then I went back to the conditioner’s bottle and saw !!!! BAMMMM !!!
    IT WAS MY FACE-WASH which I had used in place of conditioner.

    5) It took my another half honour that day to talk that mess out of my hair.
    everything is back as normal now !!!!

    Well my friends laughed like crazy at this one !
    hope u like it
    thanks πŸ™‚

  60. When i was a child we used to live in a joint family with my cousins.At that time there were 69 channels in our cable t.v. network.The channel numbered 1 was sequenced after the channel numbered 69.So one of my cousin brother wrote in his exam that the no. dat came before 1 was 69.When asked about his mistake he replied to his mom”Why? Can’t you see that channel 1 comes after channel 69 when we watch t.v. β€œ

  61. My mom’s eye sight is quite weak,
    once my mom, me and my mama g went to a mall to buy a present for my brother…….
    there was a black shirt which my mom liked alot but there was no price tag on it so she was looking for the sales person, Then she went near a mannequin thinking that she was a salesperson and she said to the mannequin ” EXCUSE ME MAM, es shirt ka price kitna hai”
    and then she came back and said “they have a very rude staff they don’t even reply you and they dont even look at you” πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    Then we told her mom it was a mannequin and all of us started laughing………..

  62. Wife comes home late at night

    Wife comes home late at night
    and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

    From under the blanket
    she sees four legs instead of two!

    She reaches for a baseball bat
    and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

    Once she’s done,
    she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

    As she enters,
    she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s

    “hi darling”, he says,
    “your parents have come to visit us,
    so I let them stay in our bedroom.
    Hope you have said hello to them.

  63. Firstly, a Huge Congratulations to Team IMBB for achieving 2 Lakh followers. May you achieve 2 million and more πŸ™‚

    This Funny incident which I am talking about took place 2 years back when Tata Nano was freshly launched and there was a much hullabaloo about it across India. So when my Cousin brother bought Tata Nano and we drove it to delhi, the people on the roads and all the passersby was just awestruck seeing Nano and the kids and growns ups were like “woh dekho Nano” as if it’s Katrina Kaif on the road πŸ˜‰ and the most hilarious moment of them all was when we passed by a Mercedes ,all the people seating inside the Merc was overjoyed seeing Nano and their kids was like “Papa Papa.. Nano” That particular moment we actually made Mercedes feel conscious πŸ™‚ That was the most funniest incident that I witnessed till now πŸ™‚

  64. congratulations guys!!!!

    okay this happened a couple of years ago. i was on a flight with my husband and son (then 3 yrs i guess). the pilot welcomed us all and started with the weather forecast and the usual stuff. my son stood on his seat and looked left right up down everywhere to see whose voice was it… and then he just screamed out loud… MAMMA thats BIG BOSS!!!!! ROFL.

  65. Ek Non VeG Joke Par LikHa Tha Jin
    Ko Samj Na Aye Wo
    Jakar’PoGo’Dekh o…
    Ek GirL Replied AFter 3 Days.,
    “Yar 3 Din Se’POGO’Dekh Rahi Hon,
    Samajh Me To Abhi bhi NaHi Aya”

  66. Bhagwan ko gussa kab atha hai? Jab koi ladki shadi se pahle pregnant hoti hai, aur uski maa bole

  67. Two boys were arguing when the
    teacher entered the room.
    The teacher says, “Why are you
    One boy answers, “We found a
    ten dollor bill and decided to give
    it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
    “You should be ashamed of
    yourselves,” said the teacher,
    “When I was your age I didn’t
    even know what a lie was.”
    The boys gave the ten dollars to
    the teacher πŸ˜€

  68. One more joke that I remember :

    When the man came home, his wife was crying.

    β€œYour mother insulted me,” she sobbed.

    β€œMy mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?” the man asked

    β€œI know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.”


    At the end of the letter it was written:

    PS. Dear, when you have finished reading this letter, don’t forget to give it to my son.

  69. This joke won me a job in an interview !!! (After a typical session of technical questions I was asked 2 tell a joke to lighten up the mood & voila I’ve hit da Bull’s eye wid it). Here it goes :

    There was a Husband who never used to help his Wife in any of the household works.
    When a tap began to leak & the wife asked him to help, he said “What do ya think, Im a Plumber or what!!”.
    When the sofa’s nuts began 2 loosen & the wife asked him to help, he said “What do ya think, Im a Carpenter or what!!”.
    When the light bulb burnt & the wife asked him to help, he said “What do ya think, Im an Electrician or what!!”.
    After 2 days when he returned from office and saw that everything was properly fixed, he asked the wife “How did ya do it?” for which the wife said that their neighbour fixed all of them. The amused husband asked if he did it all for free??
    The wife replied, “There was a deal. He asked me either to give him a KISS or a BURGER”.
    The husband said, “Oh, then surely u might have given him a burger.”
    THEN the wife replied, “What do ya think, Im McDonalds or what!!!!!!!!” πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€

  70. It was almost 16 years back about the same time as now… I was around 7 years old and it was Diwali was on our doors… Mum and dad were taking me to buy colours for my Rangoli.. I had recently bought loads of new dresses to wear and as I was too excited I forced mum to dress me in my new skirt.. But the problem was that I didn’t have a new top so mum pulled out one of my old tops which went with it quiet well… I usually used to keep myself well dressed and was very particular about them. So we all moved out and started putting our footwares… Mum was shocked too see that I wore an old sandle in my left shoe and a new sandle on my right shoe and she gave me a questioning look on this mismatch.. I looked at her and had no idea why I was getting that look or what it meant! So dad asked me why the mismatch? And then U started giving them the disgusting look.. But they still didn’t get the obvious… Well, so I explained them… Wasn’t it obvious that I have a wear new sandle for my new skirt and old sandle for my old top?!!!

    They all went into fits of laughter and dad still tease me with this story every time he gets a chance! πŸ˜‰

    P.S: Congratulations IMBB!!! <3

  71. A guy said 2 his girlfriend..

    “Baby, since you’ve come into my life, I’ve Stopped Smoking, Drinking.”
    GF: “Aww… so sweet.. you love me sooo much xoxoxo. ”

    BF: “Oh no, you emptied my pockets !!!!!”

  72. Many funny incidents happen to me!!

    This one happened yes’day…we went to buy a new phone for me..I used an old symbian phone N97mini..whose slider lock switch & vibration were gone..and thought to upgrade to an Xperia..and my brother owned a Galaxy Note II..he’s a huge techie..but somehow he was not happy with it…

    We went to the store, things so happened there, I bought a new Xperia, my brother sold his Galaxy Note…but the most funny thing is….he put his SIM into my old when we came back home..the era was totally swapped…I was holding a new android phone..and my poor elder brother was holding my symbian phone..and my mother was laughing at the two of us…My bro was like “we’ve converted plates into bowls and bowls to plates” πŸ™‚

  73. Ek Sharabi full tight ho kar ghar ja rha tha

    Raaste mein mandir ke bahar Pujaari dikha

    Sharabi ne Pujaari se pucha “Sabse bada kaun?”

    Pujaari ne peecha chudane ke liye kaha “Mandir Bada”

    Sharabi bola “Mandir bada toh dharti pe kaise khada”

    Pujaari : “Dharti badi”

    Sharabi : “Dharti badi toh Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi”

    Pujaari : “Sheshnaag bada”

    Sharabi : “Sheshnaag bada toh Shiv ke gale mein kyun pada”

    Pujaari : “Shiv Bada”

    Sharabi : “Shiv bada toh Parbat par kyun khada”

    Pujaari : “Parbat bada”

    Sharabi : “Parbat bada toh Hanumaan ki ungli pe kyun pada”

    Pujaari : “Hanumaan bada”

    Sharabi : “Hanumaan bada toh Ram ke charno mein kyun pada”

    Pujaari : “Ram bada”

    Sharabi : “Ram bada toh Ravan ke piche kyun pada”

    Pujaari : “Arrey Mere baap tu bata de kaun bada”

    Sharabi : “Iss duniya mein woh hi bada jo puri bottle pee ke apni taango pe khada” πŸ˜› πŸ˜€

  74. Congratulations to whole IMBB team!!!

    Well, I have many such incidences to share. Let me tell the sweetest and cleverest one-

    My sis was in 3rd standard then and since I was 6 yrs older than her, I used to check her answer sheets after final exams results. I was checking her answer sheet for subject English and there was a question- β€œWhat does your father do?” and my sis answered- β€œMy father is a Farmer”. I was surprised and asked her that why did she wrote Farmer. She very innocently answered- β€œ I did not remember the spelling of Businessman. 2 marks ka question tha didi.” I could not stop laughing and we still laugh on that incidence

  75. first of all congratulations to IMBB team.
    now this is not a joke or an incident that happened with me , actually this is happen with none other than millennium star Amitabh Bachchan.
    one day he is giving autographs to his fans in some function . then a small kid came to ask him for an autograph. After having an autograph that kid asked amitji β€œUNCLE, WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?” everybody there started laughing including amitji. I also laugh after reading this incident.
    such an innocent question.

  76. first of all congratulations to IMBB team.
    now this is not a joke or an incident that happened with me , actually this is happen with none other than millennium star Amitabh Bachchan.
    one day he is giving autographs to his fans in some function . then a small kid came to ask him for an autograph. After having an autograph that kid asked amitji β€œUNCLE, WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?” everybody there started laughing including amitji. I also laugh after reading this incident.
    such an innocent question.

  77. Mr./Ms. Moderator finds this joke eligible..?! Else I shall post sum Shudhdh Shakahari Ones… πŸ˜€

    Santa is traveling in the train with a girl. He pulls out a plate and starts playing it “Ding. Ding.Ding…”
    The girl gets annoyed, ” Will You stop that.. ?”
    He stops. Then when the night comes the girl takes off her clothes, looks at him and asks, “Do you want to do IT?”
    Santa says, “Yes”.
    “OK, Go ahead.”
    Santa pulls out his plate and starts playing “Ding. Ding. Ding.”

    Moral of the Story : Definition of Fun differs with the person.. πŸ˜€

  78. 1 admi ka kad 9(height) ft tha
    wo 1 Baba k pas gya or kaha koi hal btain

    BABA:nehar k kinary 1 faqeerni ha us sy shadi ka puch agr usnay”NAHI”kaha to tmhara kad 1ft chota ho jayega

    Admi faqerni k pas gya or kaha mujse shadi krogi?

    Admi ka kad 1ft chota hogya.
    Socha 8 ft b ziyada hai aur phir pucha.


    1ft or chota hogya.

    Usnay socha 7ft thora lmba hai 6 ft ideal hai phir pocha.

    ghusay se…
    Nhi Nhi Nhi Nhi
    _II_ bechara…!

  79. This is another funny one!

    I was travelling in an auto with two friends, a guy, who is almost of the same height as mine, and a small cute girl who is a bit dwarf…we were on the way to our destination..when the rickshaw driver asked, “sir, woh aapki ladki hai?” (as if referring to my friend, he’d understood her as his daughter), my friend, the guy said, “Nahi, meri friend hai”, then the driver again asked “To woh kaun hai?” (referring to me, he’d understood me as his wife!! :P) and after getting down from the auto all the three of us had a hillarious laugh…

    Initially I was not able to understand what he’s trying to tell, the auto driver, but when we got down and the other two friends of mine started laughing, I was completely gone out with laughter when I understood!!! πŸ™‚

  80. well one of the funniest moment in my life was during the 1st season of KBC. My father had send sms for the entry. So dis 1 day we get a call, & it ws me, who received it. The moment I heard the voice from the other end I started screaming & shouting that we got a call from KBC & spread dis news lyk a wildfire without even a word. Jst dat 1 “HELLO” ws more than enough for me. Aftrwards i got to know that it ws our tenant who has a voice similar to Mr. Amitabh Bachchan. I ws so embarassed. My neighbours still tease me.

    P.S : Congratulations IMBB…

  81. I didn’t post anything…..but u guys have lighten my mood….thanks guys….
    nice reading all the jokes and funny experiences….

    1. Whenever i used to attend some wedding, older people wud pull my cheeks n tease me saying,”u r next”..they stopped doing it when i started doing the same with them at funerals :p

    2. Kid: momy why did u lie to me that my little sister was an angel?
      Mom: bcoz all small babies are angles, but why are u asking this?
      Kid: bcoz she dint fly when i threw her out of the window..!!

  82. Who Says Men Don’t Remember Anniversaries
    A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

    She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

    “What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why are you down here at this time of night?”

    The husband looks up, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and
    you were only 17?” he asks solemnly.

    The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. “Yes, I do,” she replies.

    The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. “Do you remember when
    you father caught us in the back seat of my car?”

    “Yes, I remember,” says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

    The husband continues…”Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years”.
    “I remember that too”, she replies softly.

    He wipes another tear from his cheek and says… “I would have gotten out today!”

  83. It was almost 16 years back about the same time as now… I was around 7 years old and it was Diwali was on our doors… Mum and dad were taking me to buy colours for my Rangoli.. I had recently bought loads of new dresses to wear and as I was too excited I forced mum to dress me in my new skirt.. But the problem was hat I didn’t have a new top so mum pulled out one of my old tops which went with it quiet well… I usually used to keep myself well dressed and was very particular about them. So we all moved out and started putting our footwares… Mum was shocked too see that I wore an old sandle in my left shoe and a new sandle on my right shoe and she gave me a questioning look on this mismatch.. I looked at her and had no idea why I was getting that look or what it meant! So dad asked me why the mismatch? And then U started giving them the disgusting look.. But they still didn’t get the obvious… Well, so I explained them… Wasn’t it obvious that I have a wear new sandle for my new skirt and old sandle for my old top?!!!

    They all went into fits of laughter and dad still tease me with this story every time he gets a chance! πŸ˜‰

    P.S: Congratulations IMBB!!! <3

  84. Here are a few funny jokes:

    Why do Indian wives have that Red Dot on their forehead ? ………
    They’re recording everything!!!!
    The Problem Is Not That Obesity Runs In The Family… . . . . . . The Real Problem Is Nobody Runs In The Family…!!!
    To prove his love, he swam the deepest ocean, climbed the highest mountain and crossed the hottest desert and she divorced him bcos he was never at home !!!! Life gets a bit complicated at times !!!
    Newton:How to write 4,in between 5?
    Amric:Question wrong
    Pak:If u ask foolish questions, I’ll kill u
    UK:Not found in Internet

    From India
    After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar goes W T F ?

  85. Wife comes home late at night
    and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

    From under the blanket
    she sees four legs instead of two!

    She reaches for a baseball bat
    and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

    Once she’s done,
    she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

    As she enters,
    she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s

    “hi darling”, he says,
    “your parents have come to visit us,
    so I let them stay in our bedroom.
    Hope you have said hello to them.

  86. Heartiest Congratulations for the achievement….

    7 year old boy was looking at the marriage album of his Parents very curiously.After closing album he became sad and was annoyed asked his mom i see every 1 dada,dadi,mama,mimi,chinki,chinnu etc…why only i m missing mom replied smiling that you were sleeping Beta.He replied dont lie me i sleep just some hours so you scould me daily about my sleeping less hours.Father controlled the situation saying Beta you were playing that time.Boy kept quite and went.After 2-3 days mom quite surprisingly asked Beta why you not going for playing.Boy replied spontaneously What If You Marry again In My Absence……….:)

  87. A joke, which is not original as i recieved it during the famous Saifeena wedding which split me into uncontrollable laughter:

    The best revenge Shahid Kapoor (age: 28) can take is by marrying Sara Ali Khan (age: going to turn 20)(daughter of Saif Ali Khan and Amrita Singh) and call Kareena his SAAS πŸ˜›

  88. A few funny ones:

    Why do Indian wives have that Red Dot on their forehead ? ………
    They’re recording everything!!!!
    The Problem Is Not That Obesity Runs In The Family… . . . . . . The Real Problem Is Nobody Runs In The Family…!!!
    To prove his love, he swam the deepest ocean, climbed the highest mountain and crossed the hottest desert and she divorced him bcos he was never at home !!!! Life gets a bit complicated at times !!!
    Newton:How to write 4,in between 5?
    Amric:Question wrong
    Pak:If u ask foolish questions, I’ll kill u
    UK:Not found in Internet

    From India

    After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar goes W T F ?

  89. First of all many many congratulations to team IMBB!!!

    Ok so I’ll share a joke with u which i read just y’day n still whenever i watch tv it came to my mind n I just start laughing…

    here it goes……
    Agar kutton ka TV par 1 channel ho toh.. socho usme
    serials ke naam kuch aise honge:

    yahan main ghar ghar BHONKI
    KAAT KHANA sathiya
    Agle janam mohe PILLA hi kijo .
    Main KUTIYA tere aangan ki
    ye KUTTA kya kahlata hai
    Ek hajaro me meri KUTIYA hai .
    Is KUKUR ko kya naam du.
    . Bade DOGGIE lagte hai
    Kutta aur kutiya hum
    Dance KUKURIYA dance
    . Pavitra Piliya
    Kutiya vadhu
    Bhauk ke aaja
    . .

  90. Hi Rati & Sanjeev,

    Kudos to both of you and your team..its a v big achievement…

    The funniest joke that i know of…-A doctor says to his patient, β€œI have bad news and worse news”.

    β€œOh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient.

    The doctor replies, β€œYou only have 24 hours to live.”

    β€œThat’s terrible”, said the patient. β€œHow can the news possibly be worse?”

    The doctor replies, β€œI’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday


  91. WOW!!!! Gifts are always exciting!!!

    This incident happened with my friend.He has two kids-Elder 2&1/2 yrs, youngest 1&1/2yr. It was his wifeys bday and whole family went to the temple. One more family was there with their 1&1/2 yr old girl. His younger son who is 1&1/2 yrs started playing with her. One thing led to another and my friend told him to give her a hug. He gave her a hug and a kiss. After 5 sec., girl slapped him. She went to the elder son of my friend and gave him a kiss. The boy got scared and went running to his mother (my friends wife). Every one there stood stand still and laughed their hearts out. Even the little girl understood the boy who gave her a kiss is fathers replica-Flirt so she liked the elder one who is like the mother-Innocent πŸ™‚

  92. Congrats IMBB πŸ™‚

    Here goes my funniest moment πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    One of my frnds had recently married and it was her birthday.. We had gone out shopping with her husband and since they were “totally in love” he went overboard buying gifts for her. He even got her really naughty stuff. My frnds birthday falls on 18 July and her mother’s birthday is on the 21st of July. So my frnd had told her husband to shop for her mother too.. We gift wrapped all the presents.. as as u might have guessed he gifted his MIL the parcel which was supposed to go to his wife and aunty opened the gifts in front of us.. Thankfully aunty is very fun loving. She said thank u beta.. magar ye gift uncle mujhe dete to aur acha hota… and we all ROFL… it was fun.. This could have been a very embarrassing incident however my frnds mother sense of humor turned this into a very light moment

  93. Thanks for this lovely giveaway! I really hope i win this… πŸ™‚

    The funniest joke!

    Sardar ko sapne me ek ladki ne chappal mari,
    2 din tak sardar apne bank nahi gaya,
    Qnki bank me likha tha..
    β€œHum aapke sapne ko hakikat me badalte hain” πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  94. This is one incident tht breaks me into laughter evrytym i think of it.
    I am preparing for GATE and a few months ago i had gone to a seminar arranged by my coaching institute.The seminar was in a hall with two floors,one seating arrangement was in the ground floor and the other above it.We were told that a professor from IIT- KGP was going to conduct it.All the students (500-600) were first given a set of tough MCQ s on Quants and were told to solve it and then the professor would actually be giving us some tips and tricks on the stage.The professor arrived, a very formally dressed man in his early 50 s,greeted us all but in a v serious manner.He really appeared like those gambhir and darawne profs.The students could actually feel the iit effect and the whole hall, including the most uninterested guys who had come just to see pretty girls,silently flipped through pages and tried to solve the toughest mcqs.After sometime,when he was supposed to solve our mcqs..he wanted to mk it interactive and was asking us for our answers b4 he cud start to solve them…evry1 was listening to him diligently…now at the 10th or 11th questn,when he asked for our answers, a girl at the upper floor and a boy from the ground floor raised their hands and gave the answers. The professor very carelessly and unknowing said “yes,well done ,the girl at the top and the boy at the bottom.absolutely right.” We all were startled,all in early 20s and this sentence to us appeared…ya ya…very dirty picture!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› :P…the whole hall in a fraction of a second bursted into laughter,god knows wht the girl and the boy felt at it….but all of us were kinda laughing at it like anything.The professor was out of any expression for the 1st few secs but he soon realised wht he said…and the serious looking prof got so embarrassed,he put his hand over his face and startd laughing..his face became red…oh god..that made us laugh even more…for a 3-4 mins this continued.Then he said that he has been at more than 100 seminars but he can never blive he could do sumthing so embarrassing like this.
    Laughter is good for health,this helped us and him to put a more realxed approach to the seminar.

  95. Well once I was attending a conference in college and the chief guest was some Mr. Chadha… ( i dont remember his full name :P) anyway so when the comperer announced the arrival of the chief guest he announced him as, “Let us stand to welcome Mr CHADHI…eeer Chadha.” It was hilarious for us ofcourse and the auditorium roared in laughter. πŸ˜›

  96. One joke Dat I remember is:
    One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard his son praying:

    “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa.”

    The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying.

    The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack.

    The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

    The next night, he heard his son praying again: “God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma.”

    The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning.

    Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

    Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son’s door the next night.

    And sure enough, the boy started to pray: “God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy.”

    Now the father was crapping his pants.

    He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor’s early the next day to make sure his health was fine.

    When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch.

    She said, “Thank God you’re here — we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!”

  97. My heartiest congratulations to Rati, Sanjeev et al.
    I am more of a silent reader of imbb; I really like it. But what is loved by me is “Faux Pas” <3.

    More than admirations, please take my applause (see me clapping), for your PERSISTNT hardwork.

  98. This incident happened during my UG days. I used to stay in a hostel. We were four friends staying in the same room. They are Rashmi, Deepti and Vineeta. One night it was very hot so I slept on the floor instead of bed. The lights were off. Rashmi was outside the room as she was studying. Me, Deepti and Vineeta were sleeping. After some time Rashmi entered the room and she realised that there is a rat in the room and she screamed. Hearing her screaming and without thinking anything while my eyes closed πŸ˜› , I just rushed from the floor to the bed hurting my toe. I stood on the bed. Rashmi, then switched on the lights and I saw that all of us were standing on the bed and were screaming “CHUHA CHUHA CHUHA” (RAT RAT RAT). While we were screaming out of fear, Deepti(a telugu girl) standing on the bed as well asked me in between “oye chuha matlab?” We didn’t know how to react and bursted into luaghter πŸ˜€ . Then the entire hostel woke up hearing us screaming and laughing including the 2 wardens who were terribly angry at us… πŸ˜€ And the worst part is I had a terrible pain in ma toe for 1 month because of the CHUHA… πŸ˜›

  99. joke
    bhikari ‘ kuch khane ko do baba bhookha hai roti de do nahi hai to bread bhi chalega nahi hai toh b
    iscuit de do yeh bhi nahi hai kal ka pizza bacha hoga woh hi de do

    ghar ke andar se awaaz aati hai – tamatar kyo nahi khata

    bhikari -oh ho tamatar hi de do kha loonga
    ander se maa bolti hai -oh baba mera beta totla hai
    uska matlab hai kamakar kyo nahi khata

  100. congratulations and many wishes for further achievments

    I have a whole bunch of funny tales, I’ll restrict myself though.

    # 1
    May 2006…A 20 something girl arrived at the hospital, one late evening while we were all busy in the EMS, emergency medical services department.
    “I drank a bottle of Baygon”, she said tearfully. My registrar took her to a bed, put in a tube in her stomach and immediately started giving her stomach washes while we set up an IV line and the works. The fluid coming from the stomach was looked wierdly yellow, no smell of Baygon.
    “Did you really drink Baygon?” he asked her
    “Yeah yeah, the whole 90 ml bottle” she said
    “Really?” he asked, doubting that the girl was just a hysterical patient
    “Hmnnn,” she added coyly, “I was worried if its OK to drink it on an empty stomach, so I actually had two mangoes before drinking Baygon!”

    While we all kept our cool there, and then, but the tale made us laugh everytime we remembered it

    # 2
    September 2006, I was posted in Obs-Gynae ward. The ward was flowig with new mommies and their howling babies. Tired after all my chores, I dragged myself one day to the nursing station and dragged a chair.
    “Gosh, this ward is full” I complained
    “It’s always busy, this time of the year. Every year”, the sister in charge claimed. “Even HOD madam agrees” she added further.
    “Oh is it?” I asked, “Why is it so?”
    “Well!” she blushed, “December mein thand hoti hain naaaaa…..”

  101. hi rati and sanjeev,
    First of all congrats to you both:).This incident happened with me few years back when i was studying law.Its an old habbit of mine whenever i buy any clothes i come home and straight away hang it in my cupboard without removing the pricetag label hanging on it.One day when i went to university all my friends and seniors started teasing me by saying “miss 2000”,some of them said “oye hoye 2000”.I asked them what is it but no body told me anything and continued smiling.Half of the day passed like this.And then when i went to the wash room and there one of my junior came and said “dee aapk top ka pricetag latak raha hai,shayad aap nikalna bhool gaye” and then i realised that 2000 was the price of my top.Oh my god i felt so embarressed that time but later on me and my friends laughed a lot.And from then everybody called me miss 2000..:P

  102. Congrats guys…..this is a huge milestone coz if my memory is correct IMBB celebrated 1L FB fans a short while ago only πŸ™‚

    I’ll just share a funny incident that occurred when I was doing my B Tech course…Our college campus was a green zone with mango trees planted neatly around the different buildings and during the season they used to sell the ripe ones in bulk but students were not allowed to pluck even one.During our final semester we had a surveying practical and were divided into groups and had to plot the whole campus on paper.The scorching heat of summer left three of us girls quite exhausted,the ripe mangoes and thought of having them with chilli powder and salt made our mouths water…So in the spur of the moment we forgot everything else and knocked down a bunch with our surveying rod-what followed was a commotion of sorts…we heard the security guard hollering and moving towards us…well we just grabbed the fruit of our hard work and ran in different directions…the guy tried to run faster and catch us red handed but he was no match for us…….Lucky for us the guard did not catch a glimpse of our faces so we got away safe…We couldn’t stop laughing whilst gorging on those fresh and succulent fruits-looking back it was one of the most exciting and funniest incidents from my college days…..

  103. Kamlesh ka love letter :

    ” Mari Deer Puspa,

    U r que tea, lub lee, sack sea, on nest, a track thief, soup pub & u r my most press yes lower.

    Cumless ” πŸ˜€

  104. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”…. πŸ˜›

  105. hi, few funny jokes r given below πŸ™‚

    A husband in a book store:
    Do you have a book called “Husband,the master of wife?”
    Sales girl: Sir, Fantasy and comic section is on the 1st floor!! πŸ˜€

    GF-where r u?
    BF-Im at bank…….
    GF-i need Rs 30000 for blackberry and Rs 5000 for facial anf haircut…
    BF-Sorry darlng, i mean at da” bank of River…macchi khaegi macchi???” πŸ˜€

    Girl-(short clothes pehan ke)-
    main young lag rehe hu na?

    Boy-ye bhi utar do New born baby lagogi..!!! πŸ˜€

    Double heart attak msg by a girl to a boy:
    1st sms: let’s break up now,it’s all over.

    2nd sms: sorry,sorry,sorry dat msg was not for you..:D

  106. Rohan came from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his girl who was already asleep;;)

    He gave a peck on her cheek and fell asleep.

    When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. ‘Who the hell are you?’ Demanded Rohan, ‘and what are you doing in my bedroom?’.

    The mysterious Man answered ‘This isn’t your bedroom and I’m Yamraj’.

    Rohan was stunned ‘You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. you’ve got to send me back straight away’.

    Yamraj replied ‘Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.’

    Rohan was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

    A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. ‘This ain’t so bad’ he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

    The farmyard rooster strolled over and said ‘So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?’

    It’s not so bad’ replies Rohan, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode’.

    You’re ovulating’ explained the rooster, ‘don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before’. ‘Never’ replies Rohan ‘Well just relax and let it happen’

    And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.

    An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

    When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him… ever!!!

    The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his girl shouting

    Rohan, wake up you drunken bastard, you’re shitting on the bed’ =D =))

  107. Once I was in a bathroom at a public place, and came out of the stall to wash my hands. As I came up to the sink another lady was washing her hands in the sink right next to me. She looked in the mirror at herself and said “hey, how are you?” I glanced at her, “Im well, how are you?” She turned and looked at me and gave me a confused look, then she looked back down at her hands. “So how is your mom?” I looked at her wondering if I knew her or if she knew me..I couldn’t recall her. So I answered back “Shes fine? Do I know you?” She gives me the same confused look and walks over to dry her hands.. then I noticed she had a Bluetooth in her ear. She walked away finishing her conversation. I just looked in the mirror and couldnt help but laugh..very hard. Then for another funny incident someone walks out of the stall looking at me like I was crazy, standing there laughing at nothing with no one. I felt very weird and left as soon as my hands where dry..lolzzzzz it was really very funny….

  108. Once a young mas was asked in an interview β€œDid you ever meet any Railway accident?

    The man replied: β€œYes, once the train was going through a long tunnel I have kissed the father instead of his daughter.”

  109. beggar -give me something to eat i am dying of hunger roti de do nahi toh bread chalega biscuit ya phir kal ka pizza hi de do
    ghar ke andar se awaaz aati hai ek bacche ki -tamatar kyo nahi khata
    beggar -oh ho tamatar hi de do kha loonga
    phir awaaz aati hai tamatar koy nahi khata
    beggar gets irritatedand said tamatar dete kuo nahi
    ghar se maa ki awaaz aati hai -baba samajhta kyo nahi mera beta totla hai

  110. Lord shiva was once searching for his Trishul , Parvathi looking at shivas anxiety came and asked shiva what was he looking for … Parvathi then told shiva that rajnikanth had taken it to eat noodles πŸ˜› πŸ˜› headbang headbang!

  111. well….to start off i am a very big fan of this blog just to surf wat cream suits me… πŸ˜›

    before u guys think tat i’m just boosting ur .com ill start offf with the joke..

    Just a month ago my brother got engaged n in tat engagement one uncle appraoched me n question me “r u sister of santra(orange).” I was not aware of wat was he asking then he pinted out to my bhabhi (her name is sandra)…then i realised tat uncle thought her to be santra…HEHEHE!

    LOL end of it..!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› hope u atleast smiled once while reading it.

  112. I came across your FB page today .. liked it and went thru multiple articles .. i guess am on it since afternoon ..

    This is an incident about my 5 year old .. he himself is quite naughty and has a classmate who is equally naughty .. they definitely do not get along at all …

    he comes back from school one day (few days before dusshera vacation) and says ” Mom ..we friends have all made a plan … we will be putting a bomb in Atharva’s home”

    i called his teacher and told her about this .. so that things can be controlled at school

    i guess counselling was done as he did not mention it for few days …

    last week schools started and he came back ” mom humara plan flop ho gaya … humein bomb nahin mila”

    i counselled him … scolded him … for talking this way…

    this week again .. diwali crackers ads appeared on TV …. he said “Idea – hum yehi bombs lekar ayenge”

    I recited this series of incident with loads of stress at one of the family get-to-gather .. and to my horror .. all of them were laughing uncontrollably ….

    I would also like to post some of his classic quotes

    1. tum itna zor se kyun has rahe ho … yahan kya comedy circus chal raha hai …. ????
    2. please piche baitho … tum fat ho … mere liye space kam hai (in car)
    3. badmashi kiya to tiger ki girlfriend tumko dinner bana degi
    4. main bada hoke wicked wala scientist banunga
    5. dad – mom tumhare laptop pe kuch to kar rahi hai
    6. dhakkan kahin ke … kuch bhi nahi pata
    7. boyz bath karte waqt girls nahin dekhte … bhaag jao
    8. uth jao … sun aa gaya …main kabhi jaag gaya
    9. tumhara mobile chila raha hai
    10. jooth bola to nose bada ho jayega … maara to hands main tree ayega
    11. Dad .. humein jaldi se chupna hoga .. mom angry birds ho gayi hai …
    12. mom late ho raha hai .. jaldi decorate ho jao

    while eating bread – ketchup (inspired by CID) : yeh dekho koon .. laash bhi yahin kahin hine chaihiye

  113. hi:)
    this funny incident happened when we were off to our honeymoon in ws evening time n we were just roaming around the i don’t knw if u knw abt a roasted papad we get here.its a big papad with sm chutney on it.i wanted dt n my hubby bought me dt.a mild breeze ws blowing n dt is y i ws holding dt papad horizontally(so dt wind doesn’t break it).while eating i handed it over to my hubby as i wanted to tie my loose hair. he held it vertiaclly n the papad broke due to wind n only a small piece ws left in his hand.i laughed like nything n his expression ws worth seeing.n still whenever we remember dt incident it bring smiles on our
    its been 18 months to our marriage n we r still dt honeymoon couple:)

  114. this was the incident happened a month ago….but still i do remember it
    one day in our college we shifted to another room than our regular one.we settled in the new room but one bench was left unoccupied as it has a “lizard” crawling under it.some of my classmates sat in the next(beside) bench and me with my three friends occupied last but second it was a leisure hour we thought of making some fun.everything was planned by one of my friend it was “she(my friend) took a small piece of chalk under and threw it towards the person sitting beside the bench with lizard.the class was very silent.the chalk piece almost went into the back of her dress,at that second she is not at all feared and about to look back who did this at this instant we(four of us) shouted “lizard…lizard………lizard” then she scared like anything thinking that it was lizard that went in to her dress,she jumped from her seat and uttered in fear and shouted in mother tongue(telugu) very funnily.we bursted out laughing,she noticed us gave an unpleasant look and again smiled and sat in her place.All the boys wide opened their mouth and starred turning towards us.All the girls laughed again and again sharing this incident each other
    Moral: we girls enjoy each and every moment and its boys turn to wonder about our works

  115. I don’t know if this actually will sound funny if I write it. Some things are to be told in person. Still here it goes….
    It was some 4 years back, Diwali time. I couldn’t go home for Diwali due to some reason and had to celebrate the same with my hostel mates. I was pretty miffed about it and sulking in my room when my friend came and suggested we go out for a walk. This was a very bad idea because not only it aggravated how much I missed my family; I also started missing all the cracker hungama. Dear friend suggested how about not get some crackers and celebrate Diwali at hostel. So ought we went to the nearby stall for crackers. I personally don’t prefer the ones that make noise, but rather love the sparklers, flower pots vagera vagera. And good lord crackers were quite expensive and it turned out max to max we can have 2 boxes of sparklers and maybe 1 or 2 flower pots (Read: by the time neighboring houses start with their crackers, we would have finished everything we had). That’s when I saw big, long and fat sparklers being sold for Rs.3 a piece. This was surprise to me as a box of little ones had cost me nearly 100. I told the shopkeeper to sell me a box of that one. He politely declined saying one customer can have just one of it. I took it as his idea of making profit by selling all the smaller ones for higher price.Hostel days, young at heart blah.. blah.. blah.., I made puppy faces and finally he sold me 3. You should have seen the perplexed look on his face. I didnt know why then.
    We came back to hostel with the brought goods, called every other unprivileged soul (read: who couldn’t go home for diwali) and declared diwali celebrations at hostel.(we hardly had crackers to last 5 minutes).I went ahead distributed the small sparklers to all. Then came the round of flower pots. (I had kept the 3 big sparklers for myself and my friend.) Finally we came to the star of the night, β€œThe big Sparklers”. I proudly started lighting it, hoping for the grand end to our little celebrations. But alas ! There had to be a cache. How much ever I tried couldn’t light it. It was just giving out fine smoke.(exactly burning like a big cigarette). I tried with a second one wondering the first one might be a defective piece. Same story again. That is when my warden came out to see what was going on. I told her how the β€œDAMP” sparklers are not lighting up. She took the same from me. Next thing I remember is our strict warden laughing uncontrollably. Long story short (ya I know its already too long), she explained later what I have brought is big Mumbatti Sticks sold in the cracker shop for lighting crackers. Yeah, explains the look on the shopkeeper’s face. He must really have wondered why I need three Mumbatti sticks for 5 rupee cracker!

  116. That Handbag..
    I jst lost my Corneal (blinking) reflex sigh…

    Ahm.. ya..JOKE:

    Years bck,I ws comin bck home frm college in an ovrcrowdd DTC bus with seniors (all medicos).V got no seat.A girl stndin nxt 2 me got 2 my foot,with hr pencil heels. It PAINED like HELL.

    She askd (with a puppy face)-Sorryy, DID IT PAIN?
    I replied- No no dear, My leg is on LA*, how can it pain?

    Evry frn of mine laughd hs/hr guts out.She cldn’t gt anythin n md faces.



  117. Thanks for the wonderful giveaway.

    This happened in college with me…One of the guys sitting next to me was actually peeping in my exam paper and copying, The examiner (an old lady) saw him and asked him to get out. He panicked and started apologizing and said, he won’t do it again. But examiner was adamant and she asked him to get out…so he started making stories and said that he is unwell, his parents will be devastated and so on and suddenly clutched his chest and acted as if his heart was paining and he was fainting…(the only difference was that he was putting his hand on the right side of chest)….the examiner smiled and took his hand and placed it on the left of his chest and said, “Son, you forgetting that heart is on the left” and we all burst out laughing, even the boy smiled…the examiner spared him with a warning πŸ™‚

  118. Being an airforce kid train journeys are an integral part of my life..and often the movement includes tonnes of luggages,khana for journey,numerous water bottles etc one such journey that i remember vividly..The day was babri masjid day.I was in class 4..we were waiting for our connecting train from thrissur to guruvayur(place in kerala)…I am an impulsive obssessive reader..way back in class 4 to keep my mouth shut my dad got me a comic book.I was happily sitting with my parents and my 5 year old sister,reading the magazine and as always completely engrossed in my reading world.Suddenly my dad told us there is change in platform and we had to shift to a diammetrically opposite my mom and dad took charge of the being elder was given the responsibility of my sister and the small stuffs like water bottle,my own bag with my goodies etc..we finally settled down and me again started reading …and 5mins later there was a big crowd opposite to us …bomb squad with the sniffing dogs were coming,police all around,people were panicking… dad went and enquired…someone had left behind a blue milton bottle and being babri masjid day and red alert situation,all were almost sure this was a bomb!my mom and dad as usual started criticising,political talks and were happy police is efficient atleast that day when mere dimag ki batti jali….!I had left behind my milton water bottle on the bench we sat earlier…and i blurted out this to mom dad and all realised what had happened…my dad rushed to the police and explained the situation and thank god he was carrying his id card and his rank was superior than the police officer,matter resolved..i expected a big big lecture ,scoldings and what nots when i saw my victorious dad coming with the water bottle…i started crying ..and the whole crowd started laughing!!!!and that was the moment..mixed with fun,tension,fear that i can never forget!!!Even now after 12 years,when we travel the first thing my dad asks me is iam planning to plant a blue bomb πŸ˜€ thank god media was not that active way back then….:D i could have had my own share of limelight πŸ˜€

  119. once a sadar went to a petrol pump
    petrol pump guy asked “kine da petrol pava sir?”
    sardar replied “1 rupees da”
    petrol pump boys irritatingly asked “ena petrol pua ke kithe jana?”
    sardar replied ” jana apa kite ni , apa ta bas eda hi paise udaide ne”…

  120. I wud lv 2 hv any of these guddies cming from YOU..
    Few days back there was repeated advertisement of movie Rowdy Rathore which was very annoying for my grany due to its high volume.
    once when the add just finished my grany said bewildered “I am fed up of ur this RABDI DEVI”
    It took me few minutes to confire what she exactly said n aftr that I laughed a lot holding my stomach n kept imagining the simili between Akshay and Rabdi….:)

  121. Another very funny incident I can remember is when I was going to join my first job. The company had provided me and all new joinees with air tickets from our hometown. There were 4 other new joinees (3 guys and a girl) in the same flight. One of the guys was very mischievous and kept on trying to flirt with the beautiful air hostesses in the Jet Airways flight we had taken.

    When the air hostess started demonstrating the safety procedures and instructions on how to fasten seat belt and so on, this guy started copying her and making faces and she actually burst out laughing in the mid of the demonstration and everybody got stunned and suddenly looked up as none had seen it happening ever before. The air hostess was really embarrassed and never came near our seats during the entire flight but sent her colleague. We all had a good laugh in that flight πŸ™‚

  122. The Department of Defense has a Contact Us link on its website inviting readers to pose any question they want. One guy did just that: “So do you have any top secret information you would like to tell me? I am doing a project for my senior economics class and was just wondering … E-mail me back.”

  123. Congratsssssss…The thought of rati screamming makes me laugh…Imagine someone dolled up wearing laubotins who always looks ramp ready screming πŸ˜›
    I’ll tell u 1 recent incident that had me in splits. I had gone to Bandra for shopping with my sisters. Without realising it was the last day of bandra fair we shopped till late..All tired and with our hands full with day’s shopping we were trying to get a rick back home..But not a single autowala was ready to go to our place…* Believe me mumbai autowalas can piss you of the way no1 can*.. tried stopping 20 of them but no1 even stopped to even listen where we wanted to go…My cousin was so pissed off she almost went and stood in the middle of the road..and autowala went away from the other side…I pulled her back to my side and donno wat happend but i waved to the next auto in slow motion movie style and the autowala in return waved to say no in same slow motion style…and me and my sisters started laughing in the middle of the road night all tired πŸ˜› πŸ˜€ .,..we later went back home walking though πŸ™ … I donno if this sounds funny now but that yes it was very very funny πŸ™‚

  124. Guy: Your glasses can’t be badβ€”you just got them!
    Girl: Yeah, but I cheated on the eye exam, so it’s really my own fault.
    Guy: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
    Girl: I’m very competitive.

    Girl: Why would he say that I was not educated?
    Friend: Well, that’s not exactly what he said, now, was it?
    Girl: No. He said I was tapid and voided of thought.
    Friend: Vapid and devoid of thought.
    Girl: Same thing.

    Girl #1 (picking up box of baking soda): I didn’t know soda was baked.
    Girl #2: Thank God it’s not fried! Do you know how many extra calories that would be?.

  125. One of our visiting Italian students at Sheppard Air Force Base said he wouldn’t be able to fly that day.

    “Why?” his teacher asked.

    Marshaling all the English he knew, the student pointed to his ears and explained, “It’s my fallopian tubes.”

  126. Hey Rati…a big congrats to you dear…
    Well i would like to share a joke with you…
    An illiterate father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set up their tent and fell asleep.
    Some hours later, father wakes his son and asks : look up to the sky and tell me what you see?
    Son: I see a million of stars.
    Father: What does that tell you?
    Son: Astronomically it tells that there are a million of galaxies and planets.
    Father slaps the son hard and says: IDIOT, SOMEONE HAS STOLEN OUR TENT!!!!!!!!

  127. Hey ..this is an incident that happened when I was a kid…
    Well it was the time whi badly wanted to watch kaho na pyar hai n my day bought the rental to watch…i decided i’ll lie on the floor n watch the movie.. .after some tym my parents realized I was not there n thought I was in the bathroom…but when I did not comeback for a long tym they freaked out n thought I went out to play with tthe neighbourhood kids n staterd searching for me but couldnt find me..they even called up my school friends who livdd a few streets away but couldnt find me anywhere..they were contemplating calling up the police n while talking on phone something fell on the floor from my mum’s hand near the cot…when she bent to pick it up she found me sleeping peacefully under the cot…they had such a laughing fit after that…i’m still being teased fro m my family for that day:):):)

  128. once me and my frends went fr a shoping.there I saw a very handsome guy
    and was memorized by him…then at the cash counter that same guy was standing
    behind me…and any how that cashier was not able to track my credit card number so h asked me
    number plzzzz and in hurry and nervousness I had given him my phone number..that was funny incident
    and more funnier is that that cute guy had taken my number and called me back…
    now h is my darling bf and marrying this december.

  129. My congrats comments are yet to be rescued..plz rescue this for the contest..This happened some 10 yrs back , which I was in college. I was wearing an anklet only on 1 feet, it was not very popular those days, especially not in a small town like mine.. my friends were already pulling my leg for it… we were returning home from college, and an old lady called me from behind and said “one of your anklets are missing”..My friends could not control their laughter, though they managed to reply the lady..”dont worry aunty..its all right..she says this is the latest fashion”…next day in college, you can imagine how much fun they made of me.. anyway those were the best times!! miss the good old college life.

    BOSS – Why shld i hire you ?
    Guy – I’ll be a great asset to d events team cus i party all d time

    Boss – Y R u leaving your current job?
    GuY – Those idiots r forcing me to attend anger management classes.

    Boss – Tell me a time you made a mistake and how dealt with it ??
    Guy – I stole equipment from my office and i had to pay for its replacement

    Boss – Have you submitted your two weeks notice to ur current employer ?
    Guy – What two weeks notice ? I’v never quit a job.. I have always been fired.

  131. James bond was roaming around in a jungle when a dog tried to chase him.

    Bond: I am Bond, James Bond.
    Doggie: I am Dog, MAD DOG.

    Bond ran for his life!

  132. This is the funniest incident for me, no matter how many times i recall.
    Me and my cousins had a sleepover at my place, we were a total of 7 members, 3 guys and 4 girls.
    We had our dinner and were chatting, slowly two wickets(girls) were down by 12:45 am. But, I and the other 4 were laying and was around 3 am we suddenly hear someone clapping, we turn around and see that one of my cousin (neha) who slept early, was clapping in her sleep. The guys were laughing…while we both girls were scared seeing her clap like that. not even ten mins passed we hear her clapping again. We wanted to wake her up but the guys insisted on not doing so, we watched the clapping ritual with occasional “muhahahaha” laughs for about an hour. One of the guys (deepak known for being witty), told us not to tell her about this until he asks her something in the morning. we all woke up and were sitting in the balcony, then deepak and neha had a 60 sec talk,which after hearing we guys were literally rolling on the floor and laughing…this is conversation they had
    deepak : arey yaar neha yeh bataa tumare college mein annual day hua tha kya ??
    neha ( suprised, excited, childishly smiles tells him) : haan yaar tumko kaise bata !!!!
    deepak : mujhe he nahi yahaan sab ko bataa hai ( and he started laughing aloud)
    Even though we understood after he asked her and burst into laughter, we asked him how could he exactly think of annual day. Then he replied us saying ” for less than every ten mins she was clapping and laughing i thought maybe was dreaming of her annual day or farewell day, wer we have performances one after the other for every 10 mins :D”. We told her what all happened, even though she was embarrassed she started laughing with us.

  133. Hi, This is my 1st time commenting here but I’ve been stalking ur site like a mad woman waiting for review after review…hehehehh…..
    Not really sure how my story would sound to others but here goes:
    This happened just a few days ago so I remember it well. My roommate and I have 2 dogs and we ordained one of them as ‘The Oracle’, his name is Hector actually. Anyway, one day we were being our usual crazy selves and asking The Oracle for guidance…Hehehehehe…Whenever we ask something he usually keeps quiet or whines but that day when my roommate asked him if either of us will meet a good/nice man by Dec this yr, our Oracle simply…..FARTED!!!! We went crazy laughing cos even our dog thought it was impossible….hahahahah πŸ™‚

    As of now, I feel it is more embarrassing than funny >!< hmmm…

  134. Congratulations IMBB! πŸ˜€ May you get many more followers and may Sanjeev ji’s phone be flooded by calls from Jomol and Neha. πŸ˜›

    By the way, this has got to be the most awesome giveaway ever! I have been laughing like a 3-year old on Nitrous Oxide thanks too all these comments.

    One of the funniest incidents happened with me about six years ago when I had just started learning French. I was about 14ish and my dad used to pick me up every evening. So, after the first class, I sat in the car excitedly talking about the events and said, “Oooh! And you know, our teacher is lesbian!” My dumbfounded dad was silent for five seconds before exploding into a “WHAT?!” and then I realised what I had said. Sheepishly, I corrected myself – “Oh, I meant she was Lebanese.” My dad was laughing all the way back home at my blooper and kept telling me not to make such a mistake again while I sat all red and shamefaced. πŸ˜›

    The second incident is a bit risque but well, it was super funny. Our French class was an eclectic bunch of people, and many of them were certified crazy. One day, we were supposed to be debating the pros and cons of processed food items and this one guy went on a tirade against jams and how they are full of “prΓ©servatifs”. Our teacher was super confused until she asked him to explain what he meant and he said, “Arre, Ma’am! Preservatives hote hain na jam mein!” He had “French-ified” the word ‘preservatives’ and the teacher shook in silent laughter before explaining to the whole class what a “prΓ©servatif” means in French. (It’s a condom. :P)

    And finally, another stupid incident. One of my closest friends is probably the smartest guy I know but he’s quite absent minded and silly in every day things. One day, we were making our way across a crowded parking lot when I saw a flying Hanuman figurine kind of accessory on the interior rearview mirror of a car. So, I squealed, “Oooh, flying Hanuman!” and instead of looking at where I was pointing, he stared at the sky and demanded “Kahan?!”, as if expecting to see Hanuman carrying a mountain or something.

    1. Pffft! I knew my poor little comment would go into moderation. πŸ™

      Chalo, meanwhile, I have a classic joke to share.

      Two lovers plan to commit suicide. They both reach a mountain top and the boy jumps first. About halfway down, he realises that the girl seems to have changed her mind and is walking about. He presses on something and as a parachute opens, he shouts, “Mujhe pata tha, chudail!” πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

        1. Oooh! Oooh! I have more. All the memories of dumb incidents are flooding my mind now. Overheard conversations (I save them sometimes on my phone – typed, I mean; recording would be creepy):

          At a cousin’s wedding:
          Random Uncle#1: The good thing about love marriages is that there is already an understanding between the couple.
          Random Uncle#2: Accha, tumhari love marriage hai kya?
          Random Uncle#1: Haan, biwi ki taraf se.

          At my college cafe:
          Girl#1: So, how was Kurbaan?
          Girl#2: It was okay, nothing special. The story was…
          Crazy psychology professor standing nearby: DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT IT! I haven’t watched it yet!

          At college cafe again
          Girl#1: When I visited Ladakh, I drank yak’s milk.
          Girl#2: Eeeew! Yaks give milk?

          Random Coffee Shop (Just after the Mumbai attack)
          Guy, reading the paper: This news report says that “rabbi” (he pronounced it was “ra-bee) was also killed.
          Girl: WHAT? Oh no! I LOVED Bulla Ki Jaana Main Kaun!

  135. the funniest incident of my life happened when i was 12 years old! As a kid i always used to HATE drinking milk. Even though i hate it my parents always bugged me to have a glass of milk everyday. So to escape the torture i used to act as if i drank and i used to transfer it into a spare glass that i hide in my cup board and later it i used to throw it when nobody is around! πŸ˜€ πŸ™‚

    Once day as usual my dad appeared with a glass full of HOT MILK and went up to the terrace to get something! I wanted to hide the milk but to my horror my secret glass was missing. I had no time as my dad could get down anytime. So i quickly threw the milk out of the window and as usual had this “look dad! i drank my milk and i am good girl no??” kind of expression when my dad came back.. πŸ™‚ But my Dad literally YELLED AT ME and was continuously yelling at me for a while. I did not understand first but later i got to know that when he went to the terrace he was talking to one of my neighbor aunty who is standing downstairs and i poured a glass of HOT MILK on her face through the window.. lol!!!

    I had to go to that aunt later and apologize and i still remember her face that turned out all red and she had to apply coconut oil to counter act the burning sensation… πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    It was such a lame thing i ever did and we still remember it sometimes and laugh out all the time… πŸ™‚

    Congratulations Rati & Sanjeev ji and the IMBB Team for the huge success! I am sure there’s a lot more in store for u guys.. πŸ™‚ <3

  136. Alcohol is a perfect solvent.
    it dissolves careers, relationships, marriages nd families. latest-
    it also dissolves airlines..

  137. hyii.. i want to share a incident of my life.. its about my coaching class.. i used to sit in front row beside the stage of my teacher and just the opposite side of stage there were boys girls on left and boys on right side. we used to sit like tis because there were 600 students in the class and to sit in front we have to do tis!! once i noticed there was a guy who used to stare at me during the class. first few classes i was really disturbed but then i started njoyng it.N let me tell u i wasnt the type of girl who used to talk to boys.. as i was studiyng in convent school so was bit shy from childhood.days passed the classes were goin to get over but the guy and me never had any conversation. neither he approached nor i tried. after one year suddenly i realised i have starting missing him and i tried to enquire about him and got his number.I called him. asked him how he is.. to my surprise he said who are u and i dont know u by name also. days passed.. i realised i hv started luvng him. i called up again. it was the nite before diwali. i straight fwd told him my feelings.. nd he made fun of me but said v can be gud frnds. after six months he called me up again nd proposed me.its been now almost 5 years that we r in a relationship. he is in chennai and m in bhopal doing mbbs. different proffession but we still understand each other very well. πŸ™‚

  138. SO many many many many congratulations first of all….

    Ok i am having lots of funny incident to tell… lets share couple of them…

    It was my cousin sis’s Marriage…..
    At the time of vidai, every one was so sad.. Crying as their beloved daughter was leaving to sasural…. ….. ….. suddenly every one has started to laugh like any thing, all mean all from her sasural & maika…

    thing was that her brother & her husband was wearing sae color sharwani… so in that sad moment my cousin forgot that and she hug her husband in front of every one and has started crying…. LOL

    2).. AS i am gujrati…. me and my asami girl friend was in garba-mood…
    We was on my activa and singing a Garba loudly
    ITs should b something like this “tame kaya te gam na gori lal…” It mean (Beautiful from which city you are??)
    and we was singing “Tame kaya te gam na GORILA (from which city you gorila??)

    on traffic signal an aunty has stopped us, gave us 10min long leture and correct us for our mistake… my god that aunty was so angry with us…. and every one on traffic single was laughing on us.. it was so embarrassing ..but its fun too.

    Will tell you more tommrow.. bye… good night.. and once again congratulations

  139. This is a true incident that happened a couple of months back:

    I had made spicy coconut-mustard rice for dinner which turned out to be super-duper spicy. We ate. We went to bed… 2:00 am, I wake up with severe chest pain & I started screaming “I’m haaaaving a heart attaaackkk” “take me to hooospitaaal.” Husband dear literally fell out of the bed hearing my screams. DH kept saying it might be just gastric/acidity issues from the spicy food which I didn’t want to believe. Grabbing our 2 year toddler & her diaper-bag on the way out, we rushed to the ER. 15 mins drive later, we arrived at the ER & I was taken inside immediately, checked for my vitals: Everything normal (of course). My chest pain had reduced by then & I was beginning to realize that coming here was a big mistake (but too late)..
    The nurses said even though it looks like a gastric issue (No heart attack, YAY), they had to follow certain procedures & do some tests (oh my) before sending me home. They put me on a bed in one of the rooms, hooked me up to a gazzilion wires & monitors ( I want my mommy)..
    1. Blood test: 4 vials of blood drawn after several pokings.
    2. Chest X-ray: oh Gaawd.
    3. Wait for the blood test results: 2 hours (!!!!)….

    I asked my hubby to go home with my toddler & get some sleep & that I would call him once they are ready to send me home.Reluctantly, they left….
    During the 2 hours wait, every 10 mins a different nurse would come & ask for my story (Maybe they had put up a notice at the nurse station: Idiot in RoomNo-…)… One of the nurse’s turned out to be my student when I was a Graduate Teaching Assistant at the local univ… (someone, kill me now, plz)….
    At the end of 2 hours, a nurse came with my reports saying every thing’s normal. As she was saying that she looked at the monitor above my head & gasped “your BP is so low, we hav to do another round of blood tests” ( I had been in a half-sitting, half-sleeping position for close to 3 hours, I was sleepy & strangely hungry, of course my BP would be low)…
    Some more poking & another 4 vials of blood donated…. another 2 hours of waiting….
    The results came back normal again, but they were just not ready to send me home. I guess it was not a busy day at the hospital. The ER duty doctor wanted the Cardiologist to take a look at me. The Cardiologist took one look at me, another look at my charts & burst out laughing “I don’t know why they called me, this is not a heart-related case.. haahaahaa…but now that I am here, I hav to follow certain procedures, you will have to undergo stress-tests” (are you kidding me? )
    A nurse came, put me on a wheel-chair ( that’s right, hospital policy….) took me to the stress lab. Again, some more wires hooked on to me & I was made to run on the thread-mill for 10 mins…. Awake all night, hungry, angry at myself, on the verge of having a mental breakdown I ran & ran & ran to their heart’s content…
    Finally around 11:00 am in the morning, they decided to send me home… I called my hubby and on the way home, picked up some burgers (don’t question my choice of food, I was so hungry) came home, ate & slept.
    All my family & friends now refer to me as the “heart-patient” πŸ˜€
    Sigh, if only I had listened to DearHubby in the first place πŸ™‚

  140. Wow Congratulation Rati and Sanjeev πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ ….m soo happy πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ …its wonderful giveaway….Thanks for the opportunity to narrate my most funny and memorable incident of my life….
    Here it goes…..

    This was when I was about 10 years old. My sister (8 yrs old in that time) and I woke up to go to school. I was feeling really sick, but still managed to jump into the shower since I always shower first. After showering, it was my sister’s turn to shower while I went to the dining room to have breakfast. Usually my parents had breakfast ready early in the morning on the table, unless it was chicken soup (which we would have to serve ourselves). Well, that day it was chicken soup, so I went ahead and got “my bowl” (the largest in the family of course) and scooped some chicken soup and put some steamed rice in it.

    I was feeling so sick that as soon as I finished my bowl of chicken soup with rice, I started to puke. ;p Without a plastic bag in hand and unable to go to the restroom without making a mess, I decided to puke inside the bowl! I was feeling sick again, so I decided to go to the restroom. On my way to the restroom, I see my sister with her hair half-wet walking towards the dinning room to have breakfast. I rushed towards the restroom and started washing my face, tried to puke again but nothing came out… about 10 mins later… my sister walks by and asks me…

    – “Hey, did you taste that sour chicken rice soup?”

    The only way I can explain the expression of my face was… my eyes were probably twice as big and my ears moved all the way back… with a little devil smile 3:) on my face of course!

    I asked: “Did you eat from my large bowl”?
    She said: “Yeah, it was delicious wasn’t it!!!” πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  141. Rajnikant Garba ki Raat Dhil Baja raha tha,

    Thodi der Baad ek alien Dharati per Aya or Bola –

    Bhai Mere bete ka kal exam he, Thoda Dhreere…

  142. I was on a client call….and was working from was more of a listening call……and i told my Mom about this giveaway without realizing that its not on mute….5 mins later, a colleague of mine pinged and asked if she can also particpate:D πŸ˜€ and guess what..she was the prenseter of the meeting and was speaking:D

  143. this incident has to top the list of my most embarrassing and funniest things that happened to me.i was in a mall having fun with friends when the nature called me for small job.i went to the loo….did my thing….and was in need of toilet paper… was there, don’t worry…all clean and packed….i scrolled it out and it just came in my hand ….the whole roll that is.then……suddenly….it slipped out of my hand with its end left in my hand …..and it royally rolled out of the cabin like a red carpet onto the wash room floor……..damn…..i kept on pulling it to my self and it kept on rolling out more and more……shit it did know what to do…..then by some luck some lady threw it back in my cabin……i kept it in its place…..and ran out without raising my head….. straight out……i still laugh at myself coz of it……crazy stupid fun by god!!!!

  144. Congratulations IMBB team for the increasing number of fans! πŸ™‚
    But it is indeed difficult to NOT become a fan after reading your wonderful blog πŸ™‚

    Funniest incident in my life………..i guess there have to be others but this is the one I can remember πŸ™‚
    I have a ‘masi’ who I was really close to, when I was pretty small, she always used to play with me and stuff. Then came the time that I had dreaded, time to be married and sent off! I was extremely sad, and when the ceremony was being held, I was walking around alone, pretty depressed. Then suddenly, I saw some stones lying around, and I started throwing those stones at the tent..! I had imagined that if I did such things, her marriage wouldn’t take place as people would get angry and she would be with me forvever
    Then my mother noticed all that was happening, and dragged me off…i said sorry to my masi for trying to ‘destroy her wedding’ πŸ˜€

    As for the jokes, I have a few, but viewer discretion is advised πŸ˜›

    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

    Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I earn the money in this family, so let’s call me the capitalist. Your mom says what we spend the money on, we’ll call her the government. Both of us are here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. Our nanny is representative of the working class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.”

    So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

    Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep and his father missing. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room, but there he sees the father in bed with the nanny and he can’t get their attention. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”

    The father says, “Good, then tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

    The little boy replies, “Well, capitalists are screwing the working class while the government is sound asleep. Meanwhile the people are being ignored and the future is in deep sh*t.”

    Another one which i thought was funny —

    It is the 40th Birthday of a man, and he is expecting everyone to wish him a happy birthday as he had hoped it would be special. But as he goes down for breakfast, neither his wife nor his kids wish him. He is indeed very upset when he reaches the office and expects his colleagues to wish him. No one does. “No one cares” is what he thinks to himself as he sits down to work. Suddenly his young secretary comes along with his coffee and says “Happy Birthday sir”…at last!! Somebody cares! Somebody remembers!
    As the day starts to end, his secretary invites him for a coffee at her place. He readily agrees and they head over. He enters her apartment, she asks him to wait in her bedroom as she brings him the coffee. Quickly he undresses and waits for her to come back….suddenly the door opens, and everyone he know enters and yell
    He is *really* surprised πŸ˜›

  145. IMBB A Big congratulation of this Achievement and I would like to share a joke which in a way symbolizes irony of Life…
    Indian Education System Surprising Outcomes..The smartest students pass with 1st class and gets admissions to medical and engineering schools. The 2nd class students get MBA’s and LLB’s to mange the First Class students. The 3rd class students enter politics and rule both the 1st and 2nd class students. The failures join underworld and control the politicians and businesses. And best of all… Those who did not attend any school become Swamis and everybody follows them..

    Second Joke:
    PAPPU stands in airplane and shouts “HIJACK”
    everybody starts panicking and shouting and crying.
    Then JACK stands and replies

  146. the funniest and in a way little embarrassing incident happened with me few months back when I was visiting a male gynaecologist with my husband for my menstrual problem. During questioning Dr asked me if at times milk comes out of my breast(I am not breast feeding,I have six year old daughter)before I could reply my husband immediately said no never. The doctor started laughing and so did my husband but I was embarrassed there but today I laugh thinking about it.

  147. 4 Men In A Prison Cell:

    1 Rapist
    1 Murderer
    1 Psycho
    1 Gay

    Rapist : If there was a cat here I would f*ck it till it dies.

    Murderer : Once you’re done with it, I’d torture it to death.

    Psycho : Ooh Yeah and once it’s dead, I’d f*ck it till I die.

    The Gay in the corner softly n slowly says:

    “”Meeeowww”” πŸ˜‰

  148. Hey Guys , congrats πŸ™‚ on the 200k fan club…
    I am really happy for you guys & you are so deserving for this milestone & more to come,,

    Here’s a joke i really like:

    Santa Ne Anda Fry Kiya aur wo Jal Gya.
    Murgi Ne Dekh liya.
    Uspar, Murgi Ne Santa Ko
    Zor Se Thappad Marte Hue Kaha :

    Sale Tujhe Dena Pade To Ehsaas Ho !!!

  149. Okay.. I cant pick one of these so mentioning the top three.

    1. 4-5 yrs back, a guy from a matrimony alliance came to meet me in my office. He had already liked me and wanted to know my answer in that small meeting itself. I didnt like him and was thinking of some polite ways to say no to him. I decided to convey the message to him indirectly, so I started telling him how I didnt believe in arranged marriages, how it was impossible for me to take a decision in just one meeting and why I was searching for a soul mate. He seemed quite impressed with whatever I said and complimented me by saying how he had never met a girl who was so clear about her finding spark in a person.

    After I finished my entire Bhaashan, he smiled at me and said he understood what I said. And then he asked me, ‘so, what do you think of me? Yes or NO?’ πŸ˜€

    2. This happened when my husband got posted to a new area. On his last day in the sub division, the residents got a little emotional and one of the old village pradhan held his hand and said, ‘saab.. aap yahin reh jaaiyye.. aap jaisa doosra commissioner nahi aayega’. To this, my hubby replied, ‘aisa mat sochiye.. mere baad bhi bahut achche officers aayeinge’ and then the village pradhan said, ‘no sir, you are lying. every officer says so but we never get a good officer!’ πŸ˜› My hubby paused for a moment and the pradhan totally realized his slip of tongue. Though he felt extremely sorry but the whole crowd had a hilarious time then.

    3. And this is a joke that I read somewhere.

    After a husband and wife have a heated argument, the wife calls her mother. β€œHe fought with me again! I’m coming over to live with you.”
    β€œNo, no, darling,” replied the mother. β€œHe must pay for his mistake. I’m coming to live with you.”

  150. why Gandhi Ji smiles on every rupee note,
    & lincon doesn’t smiles on dollars?
    because American women don’t keep the money inside their blouse.

  151. Well this incident took place when I was doing my MBA 2 years back. Me n my friend landed in an simple beauty saloon, as we were really new to the town Warangal we thought of giving simple try for eyebrow/ threading. saloon was simple but prizes were really high so me my friend started talking in marathi that … How can she quote such a high prize as if she is running an high tech spa… this is nothing but the trick of looting new students, look at the curtains dirty they are, is she using nice product or are they just cheap to her and this woman is such a vixen ….and so on ( me n my friend were also new to each other πŸ˜› ) suddenly that lady asked back in marathi …which city of Maharashtra u belong ??? we went numb…. I managed to answer as politely as I could…. n the friend of mine who went for eyebrow threading …dnt ask wat happend to her face… I luckily got escaped by saying I just came to accompany her …. πŸ™‚

  152. congrats rati n sanjeev…congrats IMBB team.. <3

    here comes my PJs n jokes…

    secret of successful married life…
    khud ko sher samjho…
    aur biwi ko
    shero wali mata !
    bolo sache darbar ki jai

    mat khel mere dil se,
    bahot nazuk mijaaz ki hoon…
    tujhe khabar bhi na hogi, yu hi haste haste πŸ™‚
    . main mukka wukka maar dungi..
    fir mat boliyo πŸ˜‰ :p

    A man checked into a hotel. thr was a computer in his room ,so he decided to send mail to his wife..however he typed wrong email address and without realising he sent mail to widow who just returned from her husband's funeral..the widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from friends and relatives, after reading the first message she fainted.The son rushed to room n found his mom on floor n saw computer screen which reads- " to my loving wife, i know u are surprised to hear from me,they have computers here and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones, i have just been checked in.How are u n kids, d place is really nice but i am lonely here :(. i had made necessary arrangements for ur arrival tomorrow. expecting u darling πŸ™‚ "

    santa and banta were playing chess( joke doesnt end here)

    santa- chal yaar bas karte hain,pak raha hai
    banta- ha yaar waise b tera sirf haathibacha hai n mera sirf ghoda.

    (joke doesnt end here too)

    phir waha vishwanathan anand aata hai,

    vishy-chalo santa banta, chess khelte hai.
    santa-banta- nahi, aap toh hume aise hi hara doge.
    vishy-chalo yaar, tum dono aur main akela.

    s n b- phir bhi hum haar jayenge
    vishy- ok, main left hand se khelunga.
    s n b- haan fir theek hai.

    (the joke doesnt end here too)

    dono obviously haar jate hai n vishy chala jata hai.
    santa- badi sharmanak naat hai, left hand se b hara diya usne.
    banta- abey, bewakoof bana gaya woh hume
    santa- kaise?
    banta- saala lefty hi hoga… πŸ˜€

    Leave application by KG kid πŸ™‚

    Dear mishh,

    nai aaounga :'(

    nai aaounga :'(

    nai aaounga :'(

    nai aaounga :'(

    nai aaounga :'(
    .thank you


    nai aaounga :'(


    girl-call me shona
    boy- shona babu
    girl- call me sweetheart
    boy- sweetheart
    girl- call me honey
    boy- honey
    girl aarey CALL kar na murkha…
    boy-oh ok ok :p

    1 ladki ghar se bhaag gayi,
    3 din baad wapis aayi..
    baad( gusse mein);

    Ab kya lene aayi ho???
    patli pin wala charge….:D πŸ˜›

    the lol scary moment;
    when goin on a roller coaster,
    take some spare screws with u and tell the person sitting ahead of u
    Dufde, this came out of your seat πŸ˜‰

    boy- i love u
    i cant live without…mar jaunga mit jaunga…ter epyaar me fanah ho jaunga

    girl-hmmm….dekh teko jaisa theek lage….

    killer one!!!!

    A suicide bomber enters a pet shop n says" everyone has 1 minute to get out"

    the tortoise says" kya faltugiri hai yaar"

    1. i have a variation on the santa-banta chess jokes!!

      santa – chal yar chess khelte hain.
      banta – ruk yar maine sports shoes nahi daale!

  153. Congrates IMBB

    these jokes n incidents made me glued to ths page today!!! well I want 2 incidents to share with u…

    Once i was watching Aisha ka title track on TV with ma mother & bro sitting wth me. there’s a shot in which Sonam uses lash curler just the next moment my mom popped up with a comment “ye aaj kal ki Ladkiyan abhi tk to hath pair k baal hi nochti thi ab ankho k baal bhi nahi rehne degi?” ( the girls used to wax hands & legs now they’ve started cutting down their lashes?) and gosh I had a blast for a minute & ma bro looking at me for answer made me laugh even more longer & louder!!!

    There’s a 2nd one which i dedicate to the girl who wrote POGO wala joke.
    I’m not into watching Big Boss. when Pamela Anderson came in one of the season, the market was full of jokes on her particularly the assets which gained her even more popularity. i really donno who she was and what’s so famous abt her till the time i didnt realized what mistake I’ve done. Please read on….
    one day during ma semester exam i got a non veg text saying those who didnt got shud watch pogo. I asked ma frnd to xplain it to me she said “padh le Chup chap kal paper hai” (read for the exam tomorrow) then i ignored and went on reading for ma paper. Months later, while i was cleaning up ma inbox while chatting at night with a guy i found ths joke & asked him to xplain it to me. he 1st asked who send u ths so i said a frnd f mine. he then asked Boy or a gal? i said gal. to which he replied u better watch pogo rather asking me ths. to which i almost pestered him to explain as i really wanted to know wats this joke is all about because I was confident enough tht if it’s having word ‘POGO’ in it this cant b a Non veggie!!! (I’m such a moron! :P) after all ma girlie efforts of not talking to u forever etc.(which i really dnt like) he decently replied ask the gal who sent it to u as i wont be able to explain it to u if u want lets not chat further tonight. i was like ok i’ll ask her tomorrow as i really liked late night chats wth him those days πŸ˜‰

    next morning i went to ma frnd straightaway to explain it to me ASAP & i was ashamed of the ways by which i pestered tht guy last night that i really thank god that he’s ma good frnd through FB and v didnt planned to meet face-to-face ever. upon asking how did u asked me to explain such an old n outdated joke all f a sudden… i told ma frnd and she said ‘tumhe wahi mila tha is joke ka explanation mangne ke lie? ( he was the only one u find to explain ths particular joke?) made ma face go red but then i told her how much i pestered him for explaining & how calmly n decently he refused every time. ma all gang of gal laughed at me whole day for what i did!!!

  154. It happened yesterday. I was supposed to attend one of my many long distance – no contact relatives weeding. My parents were out of town and I was instructed to attend it anyhow. I did attend a weeding yesterday however it wasn’t theirs. I went to a different wedding by mistake. πŸ™ πŸ˜›

  155. I am thrilled to bits to hear that u guys hit such a huge landmark. Congrats. Glad to be part of the IMBB family. Am also glad about this contest ‘cos i got to read so many jokes all in 1 place and at the end of the day before i call it a day, i am all smiley smiley, relaxed and just plain happy.

    Thanks IMBB and thank you all. Love ya.

  156. When Sunny Leone participated in Big Boss last season, in newspaper news came as “po** star” participating in Big Boss. One of my friend’s elderly relative who was not so much educated but does knew little bit English after reading that news she started saying to everyone “arrey woh Amrica ki koi bahut badi “Pop Star” hai woh Big boss mein participate karegi hum sab dekhenge”. πŸ™‚

  157. The best joke ever.! Hilarious…. πŸ˜€

    A sardarji one night felt like having a smoke. He pulled out a cigarette and looked everywhere for a matchbox or a lighter. Par usko ek bhi maachis nahi mili. Ant mein puri tarha se niraash hokar, ghusse mein voh candle bujha kar so gaya! :D:P

  158. Congrats IMBB.. 2 lakh .. wowiwwwwwww.. Yayyyyy.. & a Giveaway… yummyyyy tooo..

    Funny incident-
    When i was a kid, i used to love mehandi on hands alot, but alas.. no patience to sit, wait for it to dry.. i wanted to scratch my nose & what not @ tat time :P. even after waiting for a grand of 15-20 mins (yeaahh.. it seemed like eons for me.. even now.. :P) , it used be in orange color…. So my mama suggested me a easy peasy way to get b’ful mehandi on hands..

    1. draw the design on hands with pen (blue preferably.. i dnt knw why blue.. may be to create it as serious thing πŸ™ .. (was i soo dumb)
    2. mix henna paste in rice, with lots of lime juice & eat it early before the rice gets stained..
    3. sleep for 1-2 hours, & after waking up, the pen design will become a beautiful red.

    yess.. i did it.. I could eat only 2-3 mouthfuls.. & by that time, my naani & maasi rescued me.. & i was crying that i wont get red mehandi on my hands.. baap re.. till now my maama, chidofys me abt it..

    PS: Do not try this, performed by great dumbos only..

    All the funny stuff above, made my day today.. Thanks everyone..

  159. moderation…. whyyyyyy.. itna paaap kya kiya mainey.. ” acha sila diya tuney mera comment kaa. ” I hereby request to release comment or.. or… or.. i shall sing (ok.. rite) altaf raja songs continuously here… πŸ˜›

  160. Congratulations!!! This is just the beginning, I’m sure IMBB is going a long way ahead! πŸ˜€
    And here’s the joke that I find quite amusing πŸ˜€

    Husband: Do you have a book called β€˜Man, The Master of Women’?
    Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

  161. americans invented Mobile,
    iphone, cellphone.
    Japanese invented SIM Card.
    Indians invented Missed Call..!!!

  162. A starlet is seated next to a lawyer on a long flight. She craves her sleep, but he keeps waking her up. ”Let’s play a trivia game,” he suggests. ”If Im unable to answer, I’ll pay you $50. If you are unable to answer, you owe me $5.”
    The starlet agrees, and the lawyer goes first. ”What’s the distance between the earth and the moon?”
    The starlet hands the lawyer $5. Now it’s her turn. ”What goes up a mountain on three legs and comes down on four?”
    The lawyer is dumbstruck. He scans the internet, flips through his pocket encyclopedia, and texts every scientist he can find. No dice..
    he hands over $50 to her and hides his face in shame for a while. Hours later, he wakes up the starlet and asks, ”So now kindly tell me the answer?”
    Without a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.

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