YaAAaaAAAaaaaaAaaaaaaaAAAAaaAAaaAaaAAyyyyyYYyyYyyyyyyyyyYYYyyyYYyyyyyYYyyYyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!
![](https://makeupandbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/snackebookimbb.jpg)
WhhHHHHOOOOOOhhhHOOOOooOoOO!!!!!!!
Okies, I am fine now. Ahem.
I was expecting this giveaway two three days later according to my calculations, but I suppose we got fans at a faster rate than I expected. 🙂 I was reading a book and munching a sandwich when suddenly Rati started whooping and screaming with joy. And then Jomol ‘Peacock’ James (I shall tell you the story about the Peacock thing later) started calling and Neha started messaging, and my biwi still kept screaming. And I realized I had miscalculated about our 2 lakh milestone. *sigh*
![](https://makeupandbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/snackebookimbb.jpg)
Oh well, Yayyyyyyy!
IMBB 2 Lakh Facebook Fans Giveaway!
Okies here’s a small giveaway for all our fans. Rati was really in a giveaway mood and she decided to give her favorites; brand new Mango bag and Chanel eyeshadow palette. And some more goodies. 🙂
RULES:
- Open to all Females residing in India.
- In the comments, tell us about a funny incident in your life OR the funniest joke that you know. 🙂
PRIZES:
The First Winner gets Mango Bag along with Chanel Eyeshadow Palette
The Second Winner Gets MAC Eyeshadow Palette with Illamasqua red lipgloss and lipstick.
The Third Winner gets Lakme skincare goodies.
Good Luck Peeepals! Have Fun!
P.S. : Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great News!
Congrads!!
oh congrats….
Congrtsssss 🙂
Well it happened once wit my mom.
She had has a habit of getting confused with people ‘s names.So my mom and dad were invited for a party.And dad ‘s friend name was Mustaq and his son’s name was Mudassar(later u ll know why i took these names).So wen my mom dad reached the venue it happened that the hosts came in to greet my mom dad.And in a confusion my mom called the friend’s Son saying Mustaq how are you? All seem to be startled for a moment then my dad’s friend told my momin a hilarious-embarassed manner Mustaq is fine and this Mudassar is also fine too.Everybody burst out laughing
I want the seconf prize plzzzzzzz
Yipyyyyyyyyyyy!
Sigh rati the bag is too good 🙁
and the makeup sigh i wannntttt
Lucky readers…….dil khol ke participateeeeeeeeee IMBB is the best! muah!
Defination of a girl –
Girl is someone who before going out for a party gets,
Facial,
Bleach,
Waxing,
Hair Curling/Straighting,
Threading,
Toning,
Scrubing,
Moisturising, done
and
Put on
Body lotion,
Body Toner,
Eye Shadow,
Eye Liner,
Mascara,
Foundation,
Face Powder,
Lip Liner,
Lipstick,
Lip Gloss,
Nail Paint,
Perfume,
Rings,
Bracelet,
Necklace,
Party Dress,
Sandal,
Purse,
and says….
‘Gosh, I was in hurry, so couldn’t do much. I just had to rush!’ 😛
ha ha ha ha.. ROTFL.. this is soooo funny!
couldnt stop laughing, so true! and you know whats funnier? after all this she says “how do i look/ i dont look that great”
my hubby once replied to to me “this is surely not you. so i cant say how do you look!” needless to say i never ask him again how do i look?
😀 😀 😀
gimme one small fragment of the lippy please 😛
Rati kya dildarryyyy I mean the goodies are too gooodddd thanks for sharing them out to the readerrrrrrrrrrrs!
Congratulations guys! 🙂 Great news!
Funniest incident in my life was:
Once I received a call from one guy,he said he wants to talk to my brother.When I asked his name ,he replied that his name is sehwag.I was laughing so much,I said to him that he dialed a wrong number.Then he again called me after some days,he wanted to talk to my brother,this time I shouted at him and gave him warning to never to call at our home.I was thinking how people try to fool us.Then one day I was talking about this incident to my sister.My brother heard our conversation,he said why did I scold him.I asked him that he was telling his name to be SEHWAG and I thought how can Virender Sehwag(the cricketer) call me.I thought somebody is trying to be friends with me, thats why he is playing all these pranks.
Then my brother explained me that he is not playing any prank,his friend’s sirname is also SEHWAG.OMG,then I realised that I have done something wrong by hurting his friend because of this big misunderstanding.But it was not completely my fault because I didnt any friend of my brother with this name.After this incident we all did laugh a lot.I can never forget this funny and embarrasing incident.I couldnt talk to my brother’s friend after this incident but I asked my brother to say sorry to him from my side. 🙂
Congrats!!!
A famous inspirational speaker said: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!” The audience was silent with shock. He continued: “She was my mother!” Applause and laughter! A man tried this at home. After a few pegs, he said loudly to his wife, in kitchen: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!” Standing for a moment trying to recall the second half, he finally blurted out: “I can’t remember who she was!” By the time he regained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water! MORAL: Don’t copy if you can’t paste!
rofffffffffffffffllllll
This is a sure winner!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Sandhya 🙂
hey congrts…and prizes are awesome…
I will share a joke I am loving these days, so here I go
Rajnikanth was invited as a contestant in big boss’s house…
next day, announcement was made…
rajnikanth chahtey hain ki big boss confession room mein aaye
.
.
.
.
.
Big boss 6
aalag shey..
😉
In India-1Crore= Khoka500 Crore= Koda1,000 Crore= Radia10,000 Crore= Kalmadi100,000 Crore= Raja10 Raja=1 Pawar100 Pawar= 1 Sonia Gandhi
This has to be by far the funniest thing that has happened to me. I was 10 year old then. This Guy who used to supply milk to us had come to our house to collect the bill amount for the month. While my mum was paying him, I noticed he had long hair till his shoulders. I started speaking to my mom in my mother tongue Tulu saying “How could he keep such long hair? He is a guy. Why does he have long hair like a girl? He should be ashamed.” And I went on and on without realising my mom was glaring at me to stop. After a moment of awkward silence, my mom asked the guy in Hindi if he understood what I had said and the guy repeated everything I said in Hindi. I was embarrassed to the core and never again did I blurt out anything in public in any language 😛
A friend having a conversation with another friend: AJAY:Hey murder cases for dowry are going down rapidly.Why do you think so this is happening?Is our administration progressing rapidly? VIJAY:Oh yes!I think so,our government is increasing the price of petrol and diesel day by day.
Here is one funny story:
A student reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.
“I finished the exam in a half hour,” she replies. “Now I’m rechecking my answers.”
Friends are the ones who wont let you “fall” but they will laugh their ass out if you fall. 😀 A similar incident happened with me and my friends. Me and two of my Guy-friends (Anas and Zaid) were on our way back from college, This guy Anas is a big show off , so he tried doing some stunts on the road, Me and Zaid were looking on, it so happened Anas stepped on something and fell flat on his face. We couldn’t help but laugh and laugh, all the people kept looking on but instead of helping him get up, we sat on the road as we were partially numb, we laughed so much. As m writing this, I giggle a lil as the whole scenario pops in front of my eyes. lol.
Girls are special!!!!!
When a Girl Accepts Your Friend Request
it means she accepted Your “Friendship” Not Your “Proposal”..
When a Girl sends you a Friend Request
it means She wants to be your Friend not Your Girlfriend.
When She Tag you
it means she wants to share her Thoughts with You
‘n not that She’s Lost in Your Thoughts..
When she comments on Your status
it means She’s just being Social ‘n not Flirting..
When She Like Your comment
it means She like Your Comment not You. !
R U a High Scoring Studnt ?
Kya Aap Gud Mrks La-la Kr Bor Ho
Chuke h ?
:
:
to Join Engineering….
:
:
Marks Se No Marks,
Ache Mrks Se Chutkara,
:
:
Fark Dkhiye Sirf 1 Semester. Me…..:D:D
Ahh..engineering!!!
As we all know, saddest moment of a girls life is when she leaves her parents house to start her own new life with a new family but amazingly my saddest moment turned into a funniest one. It was immediately after my feras in gurudwara when i were to leave for my sasural with my new family, everybody from my miyka was crying and i was the only one laughing out loud, indeed it was weird for everyone but i wasn’t able to stop myself and reason behind it was my husband who whispered something in my ear. Guess what was it ” thora jaldi chalo mere pajame ka nada tut gaya hai, samnee stairs hai agar gir gaya to sab gadbad ho jaega, sambhalna mushkil ho raha hai” it was one funniest moment of my life.
Khushbooo… was the naada really broken..? 😉
Congrats IMBB…I hope we reach many many more marks soon!
I have a lot of funnies to tell, I hope more than one allowed!
September 2006, during internship. I was posted in the Obs-Gyn department. The ward was overfull, flowing literally with new mommies and their wailing babies. Tired after all the work, I dragged over to the nursing station and flopped onto a chair
“This ward is so full!” I complained.
“Yeah, its always full, in September” claimed the in charge sister, “Even Dr. XYZ, the HOD says, September is the busiest”
“Oh is it? Why so?” I asked
“Oh” she blushed, “December mein bahut thand hoti hain naaaaaa.”
September 2007, newly married. Ganesh Chaturthi time
My sasuma makes these awesome rice flour chaklis during Ganesh Chaturthi. That year we had worked on them together, and filled them up in steel dabbas, along with other snacks. Just before the big day, to make way for Lord, we were busy moving furniture around the house. My sasurji was handing me all the snack and prasad dabbas. My hands were sweaty from the work, and one of the dabbas slipped and the lovely chaklis were all broken into pieces.
Being the new bride, my goof was forgiven, but I became the butt of my husband’s jokes who still goes around telling people that I have the recipe for most awesome “Tukda Chakli”
Two years later, May 2010 when I was at the hostel studying for my exams, I was missing my husband a lot. Getting all nostalgic, I was going through a bunch of our pictures and videos on my laptop. I stumbled upon a video taken by his friend. His friend was pulling a fast one on my hubby’s cousin where he made a video of her, with her posing for the “picture” he was taking. And in the background what do I hear? My hubby dearest telling his aunts, how I made my special “Tukda Chakli” during Ganesh Chaturthi! While I was livid with rage then, the story still makes us laugh like mad
sighingzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ://///////////
nupurrriiizzzz joke bataoooozzz 😀
vezzz joke btaun ya naan vezzz 😛
koiii bhiiiii 😀 😀
ok, I ll fwd naan vez on fone yahan I write veg joke 😀 >>>>>> plz chooj veg joke option too :- A-santa banta joke. B- teacher student joke , C- boy-girl joke , D- Rajnikant joke ,E- CID joke , F- misc. joke
Furfuriyaaa sach bata, tujhe vezzz jokes bhi pata hain? 😛
Haan zee Mooze sab Pta hai 😀
Nupuriz ke super veg jokes daily mere phone ka dharam burst karte hain 😐 😐
Bwahahahahahhahhah 😀 abhi bhezti Hun more zomoliiiiiiiiii *teddy*
One day, my parents, my brother and I were on our way to have some ice cream. My Mom was in a bad mood, cribbing about the load of cleaning to do at home, and how the maid wasn’t cooperating. Finally at the ice cream parlor, we were getting ready to order and my brother asked my Mom what flavor she wanted. My Mom, still sulking, barely glanced at the menu before replying, “I’ll have scotch brite”. We went, “WHAAT?”. It took her a few seconds to realize that she had misspoken, when she actually meant butterscotch and not the scouring pad. To this day, ordering ice cream always leads to laughing about Mom’s ‘scotch brite’ flavored treat!!
ha ha brilliant!
hahahahaaa… 😀
😀 😀
As we all know, saddest moment of a girls life is when she leaves her parents house to start her own new life with a new family but amazingly my saddest moment turned into a funniest one. It was immediately after my feras in gurudwara when i were to leave for my sasural with my new family, everybody from my miyka was crying and i was the only one laughing out loud, indeed it was weird for everyone but i wasn’t able to stop myself and reason behind it was my husband who whispered something in my ear. Guess what was it ” thora jaldi chalo mere pajame ka nada tut gaya hai, samnee stairs hai agar gir gaya to sab gadbad ho jaega, sambhalna mushkil ho raha hai” it was one funniest moment of my life.
lolllllllll!!!! 😀 😀 😀
Wow!! Hialrious!
Hi…here goes my funny incident of my life..i guess i was 8 years old(now i have 23 🙂 ) and my darling brother had lightly slapped me and i went to my mother cry and started mumbling in front of her and making action just to say that ‘bhaiya na mara’ but then my mother said pehle ro le ya bol le(either cry 1st or tell your story) and i realized i was crying in a song way and doing actions which i was also not able to understand and which made me and everybody laugh at the end 🙂
First of all many congratulations to u guys… I wish this number grows bigger n bigger day by day.. Second by second.. I love this blog so much I keep reading and try and learn many new things.. just because of you 🙂
congratzz rati di..
Many Many congrats for acheiving the milestone…. May u grow more & more
Wish u luck wish u joy,May u have baby boy. when his hair starts 2 curl, May u have baby girl. Wen she starts wearin pins, May u have a pair of twins. When ur twins turn to 4 ,May u have a baby more. N if u go wid dis scheme , u will have a football TEAM…………..!
People often enjoy joking about love and marriage.
Here is a joke about the first three years of marriage.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Here’s another joke about marriage.
A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
Now let’s listen to a couple of riddles about marriage.
Here’s the first one.
Q: Why are men with pierced ears better suited for marriage?
A: Because they have suffered and bought jewelry.
Here’s another riddle.
Q: What are the 3 important rings in life?
A: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
I’ll end today’s podcast with a humorous proverb-like saying.
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
Awesome guys….heartiest congratulations!! 😀
caliiiiiii how are you. Congozz to you for the adorable baby boy. mwwwwaaahhhh!!! I wish i could come and see him. Hope both of you are doing fine. 🙂
Hi,
First of all Congrats for reaching the new heights!!
My Voice sounds like a kid’s voice on the phone. ( I am 28 yrs old)
Once i called Pizza Hut for order, the person taking the order said ” I am Sorry We Cannot Take Order from Kids.. Please give the Phone to your Mom!!! ” 😛
I never call after that and i make someone to order for me 🙂 🙂
Kiddos! Kudos!!
Ash.
congo !! wish u more success!!
Galileo’s Facebook status:
I used to study in small Lamp at night!
Likes:Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton
Comments:
Shakespeare: @Galileo,So what..I used to study in street light at night
Graham Bell: @Galileo @Shakespeare…Big Deal!!I used to study in Candle Light at Night
Superstar Rajnikanth: @All of the above….I don’t understand what you guys used to do during DAYTIME 😀 😀
Misuse of English!
My first visit to your blog and its very impressive. Keep up the good work. I am happy to read a fashion blog of an Indian, after all its our skin tone that matches and thus the products that use is useful for us..:) Loved ur blog…Here goes my joke….:P
A Diagram in A Book Was Not Clear
So da Teacher Drew The Diagram On Da Blackboard
nd
said:
“Dont Look At The Book Figure,Look At My Figure”:D
congrates IMBB team:-)
Once we were travelling with relatives to Tirupati. On the way back to Hyderabad, 3 of our relatives were given seats in the adjacent compartment and there was a 3-member family in our compartment. So we decided to request the family to move, if they can, to the next compartment, so that all of us can sit together. The moment we requested the lady in the family started shouting and abusing us. SO we decided to leave it but she picked up a fight with one of my uncles. She was screaming but my uncle was giving her cool answers which aggrevated her even more! Finally, in a very boastful manner, she said, “We’re of such a status that if anybody asks we can simply donate a 100 tickets with our left hand!”. My uncle promptly said, “Then please donate just your 3 tickets with your blessed left hand!” It left her red faced and embarassed, and we were in splits!!
I not only smile when I remember this incident but also realise that an argument need not be won by a loud voice!! 😛
Very welll… !
Wonderful one!! 🙂
Ek raat 2 baje bht tez barish ho rhi thi.
santa ne 1 admi ke ghar ka door knock kia aur pucha Dhakka laga doge kya?
plz plz plz..
Admi nind me tha isliye mana kr k andar aa gya.
use guilty feel hua.socha barish me koi meri help na krta to?
Wo utha aur bahar ja k bola-santa g kya tumhe abi dhakke ki zarurat hai?
Awaz ayi -HAAN.
…Admi-Thik hai, tum ho kaha?
Santa bola- .. “YAHA GARDEN Me JHULE PAR AA JAO JALDI”
Hi Rati
Me also rati.
Recalling about the funniest incident, I remember one from my sister’s side.She was a kid in Class 2 and it was her bday.There was a boy in his class who bought hershey’s chocolates that day. She loved those so instead of asking for the chocolates she asked him,” Tu mujhse shaadi karega”, to get those chocolates. When I got acquainted with this incident I laughed like anything.
I 2-year old girl saying this.
Thanks for the opportunity to narrate my most funny and embarrassing incident in mylife.so i was with my cousins and we were returning after one if our night out’s, when i could not hold my bladder any more, try as much as i could to divert my attention to other pleasant thoughts rather than the immediate gratification ofmy elimination need….but alas all my brains could think, sleep or eat was the need to relieve myself.it was quite late in the night and my cousin refused to stop the car saying that we were quite close to home.So to my good luck, he was hungry and needed a snack..i made of this oppurtunity and begged him to stop..which he did but citing readings such as”its not a place i can take girls to “he locked my cousin and me in the car and left.Imagine my anger and desperation.i could hold no longer soooooooo i hunted for something to perform the deed and found an empty plastic cover, and immediately did what i knew best…phew was i happy ! But what i was not prepared for was the plastic cover had a small hole and all the liquid spilled onto my cousin new tavera hahaha..i still can’t stop laughing when i saw the look on my cousin face..the seat was completely soiled…and i could not even throw the bag because the car was locked…..my cousin brother eventually returned and as soon as he came i discreetly threw the bag out…..All of this would have been just an incident had not for my cousin brothers comment the next morning “hey something funny happened the the seat you were sitting on was completely wet and it vaguely smelt of beer”…oh boy did that crack me up….lol
It was the incident of my brothers marraige.My bhabhi has tendencu to forget the roads & streets.After bidaai she is crying & then me ,my brother & she sat in tha car & driver is driving.We have to go from ahemdabad to baroda.she was crying & suddenly she stopped crying & said i dnt remember the way to baroda from the venue place & my brother told her u dnt know but driver knows & we all started laughing. 🙂
Congrats IMBB!!!!
Hi guys,
So this one Sunday a few years my School gang decided to go bowling. We met up after a really long time and my friend has just bought a new camera!! She kept taking pictures and I was, as ever, happy to pose 😉 It was my turn to bowl and i was already moving when she came running to take a pic…and thud!!! She accidentally ran on the bowling lane and landed on her ass.. still took a pic though 😀 😀 We guys laughed like crazy…and finally helped her up 😀 😀 We were just back to normal when we saw a warning sign near the lane saying the bowling lanes are slippery and please don’t step on it. We left from there in splits of laughter after naming that warning sign after my friend 🙂 🙂 I still laugh like crazy every time I go there…and make it a point to get the same lane 😀
Well, there is this very famous incident in my family that everyone still laughs on. It goes like…..
My mom has a nagging habit to call my younger brother as kutta/dog when she’s angry or frustated with him. So one day, my bro was asleep since late afternoon n wasnt getting up. So mom got angry n told our newly joined housekeep ‘Danda lekar jao aur wo kutta jo upar wale room me so raha hai usko dande se maarke uthao’. Now my housekeep, unaware that my mom referred to my bro as kutta, thought that there actually is a dog in my bro’s room sleeping on his bed (rofl). And since he was afraid of dogs, he decided that he wont go directly through the door but will go through the pipeline on the first floor and barge in through the window n drive the dog away. He took all the pain and went to the first floor window of my bro’s room only to find my brother getting out of the shower (mind u almost naked) and my housekeep and bro shouted on the top of their voices with my bro running into the washroom back and the housekeep jumping from the window! It was hell hillarious! LOL
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.When I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you. You’ve broken your finger!”
P.S
congratulation to you guys for meeting the 2Lakh mark!! 🙂 🙂
and I would absolutely love it if you guys come up with an app for android 🙂 🙂
Keep doing what your doing 🙂
cheers 🙂
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
We gals do all sort of mistakes and our darling parents don’t say anything and keep smiling on…
And suddenly one day to teach us a lesson they give us HUSBAND…:D
cant express how much i loved ur remark…its so so so true….simply missing my home…
Well, once on bew tears eve when I had partied a little too much, I had trouble finding my shoes.
You can imagine, my horror!! I screamed down the whole place!!
And made everyone look for it!!
Turns out, it was right below the chair I was sitting on!
I was the ass of the party, nonetheless.
A very happy new year indeed! 🙂
Well, once on bew tears eve when I had partied a little too much, I had trouble finding my shoes.
You can imagine, my horror!! I screamed down the whole place!!
And made everyone look for it!!
Turns out, it was right below the chair I was sitting on!
Needless to say, I was the ass of the party.
A very happy new year indeed! 🙂
My 2.5 year old daughter is so obsessed with new clothes 🙂
So, yesterday , while driving around in Kolkata, she spots new vendor stalls selling sweaters for winters & asks me … what are these Mumma? I tell her: Beta, these are sweaters. You need to wear them since winter is coming. Then she goes on & on asking me: Mumma, winters kya pehen ke aayegi? uske shoes kaise honge? Woh mere liye new new sweaters layegi kya? Woh beautiful hai kya? Woh aapki friend hai kya?
I was laughing so hard at all her questions & just could not explain to her that Winter is not a person 🙂
TypeTeacher to Sonu: Tumne aaj koi achacha kam kiya he kya. Sonu: Yes Sir, Teacher: Kya. Sonu: Ek aadmi ko train pakadni thi aur uske pas samay bahut hi kam tha. To mene apne kutte ko uske piche chode diya. Veh puri rafter se bhaga aur usne samay rahet hi gadi pakad li.
Before Tom Cruise, Rajnikanth was approached for the movie ‘Mission Impossible’, but Rajnikanth refused as he found the title insulting 😀 😉
Santa- Doctor This Bucket Has A Hole
Can U Plz Repair It.
Dr- Stupid! Do U Knw Who I Am?
Santa- Yes I Know U R Specialist In
Plastic Surgery…
Once I was in a bathroom at a public place, and came out of the stall to wash my hands. As I came up to the sink another lady was washing her hands in the sink right next to me. She looked in the mirror at herself and said “hey, how are you?” I glanced at her, “Im well, how are you?” She turned and looked at me and gave me a confused look, then she looked back down at her hands. “So how is your mom?” I looked at her wondering if I knew her or if she knew me..I couldn’t recall her. So I answered back “Shes fine? Do I know you?” She gives me the same confused look and walks over to dry her hands.. then I noticed she had a Bluetooth in her ear. She walked away finishing her conversation. I just looked in the mirror and couldnt help but laugh..very hard.
Sanjeevji..
Didnt I tell you we would cross 2 lacs fans before you announce the giveaway..!!!!?
many many many many wishes to everyone who is part of IMBB in some way or the other.
And I am LOVING this giveaway.. have been hysterically laughing since last 20 mins and my lill daughter who is sitting besides me is mimicking me.. 😀
I have way tooo many jokes to share so dunno ki kaun se wala likhoon :S
And hey.. aapne last date to batayi nahi..
Hehehehe Surabhi ji, I had more confidence in my Math..and I was busy teaching on weekends so didn’t check even.
Aap apni kisi friend ko phone par sab jokes sunayiye. Jis par sabse jayada hansi aaye yahan post kar dijiye 🙂
Sanjeev ji.. aap CAT master hain.. so anybody would have more confidence on your maths. so.. no one can doubt your maths skill… zaroor FB ne hi kuch gadbad ki hogi.. 😀
And yeah… will post some joke soon.. still deciding.. 😀 and you guys should also post some funny incident..
If Jomo writes her incident.. I am sure she would win hands down..
Surabhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii meri life poori comedy hai….koi ek incident hatke nahin hai ….he he ….please apna batao…it would be so much fun to read 🙂
well……after one weak of my marriage i was going market wid my frnd. In the way we both were discussing about our husband, the discussion was at the top level.,husband’s topic was in my mind. When we reached at the shop the shopkeeper asked ” What u want mam? suddenly i replied “i want husband , plz show me different kinds of models not old one which i have…….. all the people including shopkeeper started to stare me , after a while when i realized my cheeks became like tomato and everyone started to laugh…………..and me also………most funniest of my life
Congrats………….
This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself,
when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.
Man: “What was that for?”
Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Natasha written on it?”
Man: “Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races?, Natasha was the name of one of the horse I bet on.”
The Wife looked all satisfied and goes off to work around the house.
Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.
Man: “What the hell was that for this time?”
Wife: “Your horse called.”
Hilarious..!
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher
In 2008 while on my assignment to US, I went out with my friends to one of the Lake in Colorado. There were private boats locked to the deck. By seeing empty boat me and my friends started sitting on them and as usual took lots of pics to upload on Orkut. Suddenly we saw some firangs (owners of the boats actually) coming towards us… we quitely stepped out and moved away.. our friend who was last to come started saying “I am fine thankyou..how are you…” and then we all started laughing bcoz those firangs were actually screaming on him for being on their boat and he thought .. they must be asking “how are you.. bla bla” as usually they do even to strangers … We laugh till now remembering that silly incident !! That situation was just so funny !!
funniest proposed ever
3 boys proposed a girl
1.. main tumhare liye apni jaan d sakta hun…
girl.. wo to sab kehte hai…
2.. mein tumhare liye chand tarein tod sakta hun…
girl… purana dilouge hai…
3… mein tumhari activa ma roz petrol dalvaunga
…..
girl…. ansu k sath…… pagal itna chahete ho tum mujhe…..
Baap Bete se:- Zindagi me kabhi Charas na peena,
warna wo jo aage 4 Aadmi jaa rahe hai na Wo 8
nazar aayenge,
.
.
.
.
Beta :- “Magar Dad! wo to sirf 2 Aadmi hai.!!
There were 3 friends who are heavy weighted guys.
One of the friends saw a weight reduction ad in the newspaper which says
‘Lose 5-20 kgs in 1 day and that too without hitting the gym!!
Door Delivery.’
He immediately called them and the reception told there are 3 packages.
1.5 kg 2.10 kg 3.15kg
He told that he wanted the 5 kg package and he paid the amount and the next day
a beautiful girl knocked his door.She wore a Tee with the caption ‘If you want me,catch me’ and she ran fastly from there.The guy followed to catch the girl and he reduced by 5 kgs that day.
He called his friends the next day and informed the experience he had.
So other friend also tried the 10 kg package and both the friends described their good experience with the weight loss treatment.
The next day the third friend called the agency and enquired about the packages.
He told them that he wanted the 20 kg reduction package.Then the receptionist asked him ‘Are you sure abt this sir?’,he told he is absolutely fine with it.
He waited the next day and someone knocked the door.
He opened the door with excitement.There was a muscular guy wearing a Tee with a caption ‘I want you!!’.
First of all I really want to congratulate Rati and Sanjeevji for this awesome idea. I was about to write something when I stumbled upon a joke written above and couldn’t help reading others. I have been laughing my belly out and forgot my joke.
salute to you.
As you must have seen by my likes on your post…..m crazy bout shoes…
I have two incidents to tell you… actually in mi ofc in a conversation i told them i love high heel shoes and i have max 4 inched one..after some days honey singh’s high heel song was released and one day mi friends in mi ODC started singing this song just to tease me….N i was laughing badly.
One more incidents alike has happened actually i pronounciate PURPLE as PUrPLE so they nick named me PO PO(gurr) and after few days Son of Sardar’s PO PO song was released this time when they sung this song and did that PO PO step i cun’t stop my self and laughed n laughed a lot…
Misuse of word “One Night Stand”
There was this family sitting together for dinner…2 servants were serving them meal…while an edlerly perosn from family said…”whats wrong with today’s food…yesterday’s cooked food was so awesum..where is miya(temporary servant for one day)..” On reply to this another lady servant replied…” No no sir,Miya is good only for one night stand..” haha lol 😛
Best Joke I ever heard…..
”’Asli Tension….Height of Tension”’
Ek baar ek aadmi car se jaa raha tha, raste me ek sunder ladki ne lift maangi.
Wow :p
Admi ne lift de di, kuch der baad ladki ki tabyat kharab ho gyi or usko hospital le jaya gaya.
TENSION
Doctor ne bataya ladki pregnant hai, ladki ne kaha yahi admi bachhe ka baap hai.
TENSION TENSION
Admi ne kaha nahi me baap nhi hu, to uska test karwaya gaya to pata chala admi kabhi baap nahi ban sakta h,to ye bachhe ka baap nahi hai,
Again TENSION.
Lekin sukun hua ki problem to tali.
Wapis jate waqt usne car me socha…..”’ Jo do bachhe uske ghar pe hai fir wo kiske hai….”’
Now Thats REAL TENSION :p:D:p
1)Men will always be men: Once a group of men went to tirth yatra… Their guide said don’t get distracted if you see beautiful girl bathing. Just close your eyes and say HARI OM 🙂
Next day 1 of them said HARI OM and every one’s reaction was KIDHAR HAI , kIDHAR HAI?????
2) nEW QUESTION IN SCHOOL BOOKS… who invented the English vowels “a,e,i,o,u”?
ANSWER: Tushar Kapoor
3)Lady teacher to a K.G kid- Aaj tum late kyun ho gaye? School toh 8 baje shuru hota hai fir der kun kar di?
Kid- Meri jaan, Itni fikar mat kiya karo dost shak karte hai!
OK OK THE LAT ONE NOW……
4) After an argument: WIFE: Why do you alway say “my” car, “my” house, ‘My’ Money? Why don’t you say “our”? And now what are you looking in the cupboard?
HUSBAND: (angrily) OUR UNDERWEAR!
LOL!!!
Ha ha ha!!
Many Congratulations for such a huge milestone IMBB Team….You’re the reason we have something to like 🙂
So this is one joke that was sent to me by my brother…who by the way is as crazy as I am….the first time in a million years…I couldn’t stop laughing after reading this…
” there are 31674829436282663819 People in this world who….
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
have not read the above number just to scroll down and see what is written next. Now you are one more of them… 🙂 ;P
Ahem….ahem….main bhi hoon is contest mein 😛
Hi Divya,
Please write your comment in small letters. Capital letters are similar to ‘shouting’ on the net. Thanks. 🙂
Its so strange that the Indian question for being “in a relationship” and being in the “hospital” is the same…
Everyone asks – “serious hai kya?”;):D
When i was a child we used to live in a joint family with my cousins.At that time there were 69 channels in our cable t.v. network.The channel numbered 1 was sequenced after the channel numbered 69.So one of my cousin brother wrote in his exam that the no. dat came before 0 was 69.When asked about his mistake he replied to his mom”Why? Can’t you see that channel 1 comes after channel 69 when we watch t.v. “
There is nothing more expensive than a female
tear…..
.
.
.
When a single drop comes out,it first mixes with “loreal”
eyeliner and “Dior” mascara 😉
.
then when it comes down to cheek….
it mixes with D&G blusher 🙂
. .
and in case it touches the lips,,
it gets mixed with “Maybelline” lipstick
this means that a single drop is worth atleast Rs.1500 😀 :
Sanjeevji….main abhi bhi peacock hi hoon :P. My whole life is very funny….from where should I start 😐
Hiihihihiihhohohohoho 😛 suru se ishtart Karo beti
oh is that so I m so sorry for that
I will take care of this next time. well congrats
once again for imbb teams success
This incident just happened 2 days back
1) I was talking bath. So after washing off the shampoo I went to open the conditioner bottle.
there was still some soap in my eyes so I couldn’t see very clearly but I knew the exact place and I found the conditioner and i applied it all over my hair.
2)Then as we are supposed to do I let it on for 3-5 minutes and then I washed it.
3)After washing it , to my horror I realised my hair were stuck together .I washed them again , twice thrice but no !!!
4)Then I went back to the conditioner’s bottle and saw !!!! BAMMMM !!!
IT WAS MY FACE-WASH which I had used in place of conditioner.
5) It took my another half honour that day to talk that mess out of my hair.
everything is back as normal now !!!!
Well my friends laughed like crazy at this one !
hope u like it
thanks 🙂
When i was a child we used to live in a joint family with my cousins.At that time there were 69 channels in our cable t.v. network.The channel numbered 1 was sequenced after the channel numbered 69.So one of my cousin brother wrote in his exam that the no. dat came before 1 was 69.When asked about his mistake he replied to his mom”Why? Can’t you see that channel 1 comes after channel 69 when we watch t.v. “
My mom’s eye sight is quite weak,
once my mom, me and my mama g went to a mall to buy a present for my brother…….
there was a black shirt which my mom liked alot but there was no price tag on it so she was looking for the sales person, Then she went near a mannequin thinking that she was a salesperson and she said to the mannequin ” EXCUSE ME MAM, es shirt ka price kitna hai”
and then she came back and said “they have a very rude staff they don’t even reply you and they dont even look at you” 🙂 🙂 🙂
Then we told her mom it was a mannequin and all of us started laughing………..
Wife comes home late at night
Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!
She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she’s done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s
“hi darling”, he says,
“your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.
Firstly, a Huge Congratulations to Team IMBB for achieving 2 Lakh followers. May you achieve 2 million and more 🙂
This Funny incident which I am talking about took place 2 years back when Tata Nano was freshly launched and there was a much hullabaloo about it across India. So when my Cousin brother bought Tata Nano and we drove it to delhi, the people on the roads and all the passersby was just awestruck seeing Nano and the kids and growns ups were like “woh dekho Nano” as if it’s Katrina Kaif on the road 😉 and the most hilarious moment of them all was when we passed by a Mercedes ,all the people seating inside the Merc was overjoyed seeing Nano and their kids was like “Papa Papa.. Nano” That particular moment we actually made Mercedes feel conscious 🙂 That was the most funniest incident that I witnessed till now 🙂
congratulations guys!!!!
okay this happened a couple of years ago. i was on a flight with my husband and son (then 3 yrs i guess). the pilot welcomed us all and started with the weather forecast and the usual stuff. my son stood on his seat and looked left right up down everywhere to see whose voice was it… and then he just screamed out loud… MAMMA thats BIG BOSS!!!!! ROFL.
Ek Non VeG Joke Par LikHa Tha Jin
Ko Samj Na Aye Wo
Jakar’PoGo’Dekh o…
Ek GirL Replied AFter 3 Days.,
“Yar 3 Din Se’POGO’Dekh Rahi Hon,
Samajh Me To Abhi bhi NaHi Aya”
😛
Bhagwan ko gussa kab atha hai? Jab koi ladki shadi se pahle pregnant hoti hai, aur uski maa bole
“HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA?”
ahahahha!!!
Two boys were arguing when the
teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you
arguing?”
One boy answers, “We found a
ten dollor bill and decided to give
it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
“You should be ashamed of
yourselves,” said the teacher,
“When I was your age I didn’t
even know what a lie was.”
The boys gave the ten dollars to
the teacher 😀
One more joke that I remember :
When the man came home, his wife was crying.
“Your mother insulted me,” she sobbed.
“My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?” the man asked
“I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.”
“And?”
At the end of the letter it was written:
PS. Dear, when you have finished reading this letter, don’t forget to give it to my son.
This joke won me a job in an interview !!! (After a typical session of technical questions I was asked 2 tell a joke to lighten up the mood & voila I’ve hit da Bull’s eye wid it). Here it goes :
There was a Husband who never used to help his Wife in any of the household works.
When a tap began to leak & the wife asked him to help, he said “What do ya think, Im a Plumber or what!!”.
When the sofa’s nuts began 2 loosen & the wife asked him to help, he said “What do ya think, Im a Carpenter or what!!”.
When the light bulb burnt & the wife asked him to help, he said “What do ya think, Im an Electrician or what!!”.
After 2 days when he returned from office and saw that everything was properly fixed, he asked the wife “How did ya do it?” for which the wife said that their neighbour fixed all of them. The amused husband asked if he did it all for free??
The wife replied, “There was a deal. He asked me either to give him a KISS or a BURGER”.
The husband said, “Oh, then surely u might have given him a burger.”
THEN the wife replied, “What do ya think, Im McDonalds or what!!!!!!!!” 😛 😛 😉 😀
It was almost 16 years back about the same time as now… I was around 7 years old and it was Diwali was on our doors… Mum and dad were taking me to buy colours for my Rangoli.. I had recently bought loads of new dresses to wear and as I was too excited I forced mum to dress me in my new skirt.. But the problem was that I didn’t have a new top so mum pulled out one of my old tops which went with it quiet well… I usually used to keep myself well dressed and was very particular about them. So we all moved out and started putting our footwares… Mum was shocked too see that I wore an old sandle in my left shoe and a new sandle on my right shoe and she gave me a questioning look on this mismatch.. I looked at her and had no idea why I was getting that look or what it meant! So dad asked me why the mismatch? And then U started giving them the disgusting look.. But they still didn’t get the obvious… Well, so I explained them… Wasn’t it obvious that I have a wear new sandle for my new skirt and old sandle for my old top?!!!
They all went into fits of laughter and dad still tease me with this story every time he gets a chance! 😉
P.S: Congratulations IMBB!!! <3
A guy said 2 his girlfriend..
“Baby, since you’ve come into my life, I’ve Stopped Smoking, Drinking.”
GF: “Aww… so sweet.. you love me sooo much xoxoxo. ”
BF: “Oh no, you emptied my pockets !!!!!”
GF: DISHUM DISHUM DISHUM !!!! :/
Many funny incidents happen to me!!
This one happened yes’day…we went to buy a new phone for me..I used an old symbian phone N97mini..whose slider lock switch & vibration were gone..and thought to upgrade to an Xperia..and my brother owned a Galaxy Note II..he’s a huge techie..but somehow he was not happy with it…
We went to the store, things so happened there, I bought a new Xperia, my brother sold his Galaxy Note…but the most funny thing is….he put his SIM into my old phone..so when we came back home..the era was totally swapped…I was holding a new android phone..and my poor elder brother was holding my symbian phone..and my mother was laughing at the two of us…My bro was like “we’ve converted plates into bowls and bowls to plates” 🙂
Ek Sharabi full tight ho kar ghar ja rha tha
Raaste mein mandir ke bahar Pujaari dikha
Sharabi ne Pujaari se pucha “Sabse bada kaun?”
Pujaari ne peecha chudane ke liye kaha “Mandir Bada”
Sharabi bola “Mandir bada toh dharti pe kaise khada”
Pujaari : “Dharti badi”
Sharabi : “Dharti badi toh Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi”
Pujaari : “Sheshnaag bada”
Sharabi : “Sheshnaag bada toh Shiv ke gale mein kyun pada”
Pujaari : “Shiv Bada”
Sharabi : “Shiv bada toh Parbat par kyun khada”
Pujaari : “Parbat bada”
Sharabi : “Parbat bada toh Hanumaan ki ungli pe kyun pada”
Pujaari : “Hanumaan bada”
Sharabi : “Hanumaan bada toh Ram ke charno mein kyun pada”
Pujaari : “Ram bada”
Sharabi : “Ram bada toh Ravan ke piche kyun pada”
Pujaari : “Arrey Mere baap tu bata de kaun bada”
Sharabi : “Iss duniya mein woh hi bada jo puri bottle pee ke apni taango pe khada” 😛 😀
Congratulations to whole IMBB team!!!
Well, I have many such incidences to share. Let me tell the sweetest and cleverest one-
My sis was in 3rd standard then and since I was 6 yrs older than her, I used to check her answer sheets after final exams results. I was checking her answer sheet for subject English and there was a question- “What does your father do?” and my sis answered- “My father is a Farmer”. I was surprised and asked her that why did she wrote Farmer. She very innocently answered- “ I did not remember the spelling of Businessman. 2 marks ka question tha didi.” I could not stop laughing and we still laugh on that incidence
thats s real cute and innocent one
first of all congratulations to IMBB team.
SCREAMING TO BANTI HAI JI
now this is not a joke or an incident that happened with me , actually this is happen with none other than millennium star Amitabh Bachchan.
one day he is giving autographs to his fans in some function . then a small kid came to ask him for an autograph. After having an autograph that kid asked amitji “UNCLE, WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?” everybody there started laughing including amitji. I also laugh after reading this incident.
such an innocent question.
first of all congratulations to IMBB team.
SCREAMING TO BANTI HAI JI
now this is not a joke or an incident that happened with me , actually this is happen with none other than millennium star Amitabh Bachchan.
one day he is giving autographs to his fans in some function . then a small kid came to ask him for an autograph. After having an autograph that kid asked amitji “UNCLE, WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?” everybody there started laughing including amitji. I also laugh after reading this incident.
such an innocent question.
Mr./Ms. Moderator finds this joke eligible..?! Else I shall post sum Shudhdh Shakahari Ones… 😀
Santa is traveling in the train with a girl. He pulls out a plate and starts playing it “Ding. Ding.Ding…”
The girl gets annoyed, ” Will You stop that.. ?”
He stops. Then when the night comes the girl takes off her clothes, looks at him and asks, “Do you want to do IT?”
Santa says, “Yes”.
“OK, Go ahead.”
Santa pulls out his plate and starts playing “Ding. Ding. Ding.”
Moral of the Story : Definition of Fun differs with the person.. 😀
1 admi ka kad 9(height) ft tha
wo 1 Baba k pas gya or kaha koi hal btain
BABA:nehar k kinary 1 faqeerni ha us sy shadi ka puch agr usnay”NAHI”kaha to tmhara kad 1ft chota ho jayega
Admi faqerni k pas gya or kaha mujse shadi krogi?
Faqeerni:nahi
Admi ka kad 1ft chota hogya.
Socha 8 ft b ziyada hai aur phir pucha.
Faqeerni:Nahi
1ft or chota hogya.
Usnay socha 7ft thora lmba hai 6 ft ideal hai phir pocha.
Fakeerni:
ghusay se…
Nhi Nhi Nhi Nhi
(._.)
_II_ bechara…!
This is another funny one!
I was travelling in an auto with two friends, a guy, who is almost of the same height as mine, and a small cute girl who is a bit dwarf…we were on the way to our destination..when the rickshaw driver asked, “sir, woh aapki ladki hai?” (as if referring to my friend, he’d understood her as his daughter), my friend, the guy said, “Nahi, meri friend hai”, then the driver again asked “To woh kaun hai?” (referring to me, he’d understood me as his wife!! :P) and after getting down from the auto all the three of us had a hillarious laugh…
Initially I was not able to understand what he’s trying to tell, the auto driver, but when we got down and the other two friends of mine started laughing, I was completely gone out with laughter when I understood!!! 🙂
well one of the funniest moment in my life was during the 1st season of KBC. My father had send sms for the entry. So dis 1 day we get a call, & it ws me, who received it. The moment I heard the voice from the other end I started screaming & shouting that we got a call from KBC & spread dis news lyk a wildfire without even a word. Jst dat 1 “HELLO” ws more than enough for me. Aftrwards i got to know that it ws our tenant who has a voice similar to Mr. Amitabh Bachchan. I ws so embarassed. My neighbours still tease me.
P.S : Congratulations IMBB…
I didn’t post anything…..but u guys have lighten my mood….thanks guys….
nice reading all the jokes and funny experiences….
CONGRATULATIONSSSSSSSSSSSSS IMBB!!!!! As I always say, it rocks 😉
Whenever i used to attend some wedding, older people wud pull my cheeks n tease me saying,”u r next”..they stopped doing it when i started doing the same with them at funerals :p
Baap of pjs…
What is the opposite of IIT???
Its U U Me :p
Kid: momy why did u lie to me that my little sister was an angel?
Mom: bcoz all small babies are angles, but why are u asking this?
Kid: bcoz she dint fly when i threw her out of the window..!!
Who Says Men Don’t Remember Anniversaries
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why are you down here at this time of night?”
The husband looks up, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and
you were only 17?” he asks solemnly.
The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. “Yes, I do,” she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. “Do you remember when
you father caught us in the back seat of my car?”
“Yes, I remember,” says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues…”Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years”.
“I remember that too”, she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says… “I would have gotten out today!”
# Salman Khan is getting married
It was almost 16 years back about the same time as now… I was around 7 years old and it was Diwali was on our doors… Mum and dad were taking me to buy colours for my Rangoli.. I had recently bought loads of new dresses to wear and as I was too excited I forced mum to dress me in my new skirt.. But the problem was hat I didn’t have a new top so mum pulled out one of my old tops which went with it quiet well… I usually used to keep myself well dressed and was very particular about them. So we all moved out and started putting our footwares… Mum was shocked too see that I wore an old sandle in my left shoe and a new sandle on my right shoe and she gave me a questioning look on this mismatch.. I looked at her and had no idea why I was getting that look or what it meant! So dad asked me why the mismatch? And then U started giving them the disgusting look.. But they still didn’t get the obvious… Well, so I explained them… Wasn’t it obvious that I have a wear new sandle for my new skirt and old sandle for my old top?!!!
They all went into fits of laughter and dad still tease me with this story every time he gets a chance! 😉
P.S: Congratulations IMBB!!! <3
Here are a few funny jokes:
Why do Indian wives have that Red Dot on their forehead ? ………
They’re recording everything!!!!
——————————————-
The Problem Is Not That Obesity Runs In The Family… . . . . . . The Real Problem Is Nobody Runs In The Family…!!!
——————————————–
To prove his love, he swam the deepest ocean, climbed the highest mountain and crossed the hottest desert and she divorced him bcos he was never at home !!!! Life gets a bit complicated at times !!!
——————————————————-
Newton:How to write 4,in between 5?
China:Joke
Japan:Impossible
Amric:Question wrong
Pak:If u ask foolish questions, I’ll kill u
UK:Not found in Internet
From India
Rajnkanth:
“F(IV)E”
——————————————
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar goes W T F ?
good eve rati di and sanjeev jiju..:-)
Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!
She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she’s done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s
“hi darling”, he says,
“your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.
Heartiest Congratulations for the achievement….
7 year old boy was looking at the marriage album of his Parents very curiously.After closing album he became sad and was annoyed asked his mom i see every 1 dada,dadi,mama,mimi,chinki,chinnu etc…why only i m missing mom replied smiling that you were sleeping Beta.He replied dont lie me i sleep just some hours so you scould me daily about my sleeping less hours.Father controlled the situation saying Beta you were playing that time.Boy kept quite and went.After 2-3 days mom quite surprisingly asked Beta why you not going for playing.Boy replied spontaneously What If You Marry again In My Absence……….:)
A joke, which is not original as i recieved it during the famous Saifeena wedding which split me into uncontrollable laughter:
The best revenge Shahid Kapoor (age: 28) can take is by marrying Sara Ali Khan (age: going to turn 20)(daughter of Saif Ali Khan and Amrita Singh) and call Kareena his SAAS 😛
A few funny ones:
Why do Indian wives have that Red Dot on their forehead ? ………
They’re recording everything!!!!
———————————–
The Problem Is Not That Obesity Runs In The Family… . . . . . . The Real Problem Is Nobody Runs In The Family…!!!
—————————–
To prove his love, he swam the deepest ocean, climbed the highest mountain and crossed the hottest desert and she divorced him bcos he was never at home !!!! Life gets a bit complicated at times !!!
—————————–
Newton:How to write 4,in between 5?
China:Joke
Japan:Impossible
Amric:Question wrong
Pak:If u ask foolish questions, I’ll kill u
UK:Not found in Internet
From India
Rajnkanth:
“F(IV)E”
——————————-
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar goes W T F ?
superlyk sonam ji… 😀 😀 😀
thank you kittu ji 🙂
all in the celebration of IMBB 2L fans 🙂
First of all many many congratulations to team IMBB!!!
Ok so I’ll share a joke with u which i read just y’day n still whenever i watch tv it came to my mind n I just start laughing…
here it goes……
Agar kutton ka TV par 1 channel ho toh.. socho usme
serials ke naam kuch aise honge:
yahan main ghar ghar BHONKI
.
KAAT KHANA sathiya
.
Agle janam mohe PILLA hi kijo .
Main KUTIYA tere aangan ki
.
ye KUTTA kya kahlata hai
.
Ek hajaro me meri KUTIYA hai .
AFSAR KUTIYA
.
D.O.G
Is KUKUR ko kya naam du.
. Bade DOGGIE lagte hai
.
Kutta aur kutiya hum
.
Dance KUKURIYA dance
. Pavitra Piliya
.
Kutiya vadhu
.
BIG DOGG
.
Bhauk ke aaja
. .
KUTTA WAHI, KUTIYA NAYI..:) 😀
Hi Rati & Sanjeev,
Kudos to both of you and your team..its a v big achievement…
The funniest joke that i know of…-A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That’s terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday
Love,
Divaa
WOW!!!! Gifts are always exciting!!!
This incident happened with my friend.He has two kids-Elder 2&1/2 yrs, youngest 1&1/2yr. It was his wifeys bday and whole family went to the temple. One more family was there with their 1&1/2 yr old girl. His younger son who is 1&1/2 yrs started playing with her. One thing led to another and my friend told him to give her a hug. He gave her a hug and a kiss. After 5 sec., girl slapped him. She went to the elder son of my friend and gave him a kiss. The boy got scared and went running to his mother (my friends wife). Every one there stood stand still and laughed their hearts out. Even the little girl understood the boy who gave her a kiss is fathers replica-Flirt so she liked the elder one who is like the mother-Innocent 🙂
Congrats IMBB 🙂
Here goes my funniest moment 🙂 🙂
One of my frnds had recently married and it was her birthday.. We had gone out shopping with her husband and since they were “totally in love” he went overboard buying gifts for her. He even got her really naughty stuff. My frnds birthday falls on 18 July and her mother’s birthday is on the 21st of July. So my frnd had told her husband to shop for her mother too.. We gift wrapped all the presents.. as as u might have guessed he gifted his MIL the parcel which was supposed to go to his wife and aunty opened the gifts in front of us.. Thankfully aunty is very fun loving. She said thank u beta.. magar ye gift uncle mujhe dete to aur acha hota… and we all ROFL… it was fun.. This could have been a very embarrassing incident however my frnds mother sense of humor turned this into a very light moment
Thanks for this lovely giveaway! I really hope i win this… 🙂
The funniest joke!
Sardar ko sapne me ek ladki ne chappal mari,
2 din tak sardar apne bank nahi gaya,
Qnki bank me likha tha..
“Hum aapke sapne ko hakikat me badalte hain” 😀 😀
This is one incident tht breaks me into laughter evrytym i think of it.
I am preparing for GATE and a few months ago i had gone to a seminar arranged by my coaching institute.The seminar was in a hall with two floors,one seating arrangement was in the ground floor and the other above it.We were told that a professor from IIT- KGP was going to conduct it.All the students (500-600) were first given a set of tough MCQ s on Quants and were told to solve it and then the professor would actually be giving us some tips and tricks on the stage.The professor arrived, a very formally dressed man in his early 50 s,greeted us all but in a v serious manner.He really appeared like those gambhir and darawne profs.The students could actually feel the iit effect and the whole hall, including the most uninterested guys who had come just to see pretty girls,silently flipped through pages and tried to solve the toughest mcqs.After sometime,when he was supposed to solve our mcqs..he wanted to mk it interactive and was asking us for our answers b4 he cud start to solve them…evry1 was listening to him diligently…now at the 10th or 11th questn,when he asked for our answers, a girl at the upper floor and a boy from the ground floor raised their hands and gave the answers. The professor very carelessly and unknowing said “yes,well done ,the girl at the top and the boy at the bottom.absolutely right.” We all were startled,all in early 20s and this sentence to us appeared…ya ya…very dirty picture!! 😛 😛 :P…the whole hall in a fraction of a second bursted into laughter,god knows wht the girl and the boy felt at it….but all of us were kinda laughing at it like anything.The professor was out of any expression for the 1st few secs but he soon realised wht he said…and the serious looking prof got so embarrassed,he put his hand over his face and startd laughing..his face became red…oh god..that made us laugh even more…for a 3-4 mins this continued.Then he said that he has been at more than 100 seminars but he can never blive he could do sumthing so embarrassing like this.
Laughter is good for health,this helped us and him to put a more realxed approach to the seminar.
Well once I was attending a conference in college and the chief guest was some Mr. Chadha… ( i dont remember his full name :P) anyway so when the comperer announced the arrival of the chief guest he announced him as, “Let us stand to welcome Mr CHADHI…eeer Chadha.” It was hilarious for us ofcourse and the auditorium roared in laughter. 😛
The new appraisal ratings:
5. Outstanding
4. Very Good
3. Good
2. Average
1. Manmohan Singh (Underachiever)
One joke Dat I remember is:
One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard his son praying:
“God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa.”
The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying.
The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack.
The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: “God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma.”
The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning.
Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son’s door the next night.
And sure enough, the boy started to pray: “God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy.”
Now the father was crapping his pants.
He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor’s early the next day to make sure his health was fine.
When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch.
She said, “Thank God you’re here — we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!”
My heartiest congratulations to Rati, Sanjeev et al.
I am more of a silent reader of imbb; I really like it. But what is loved by me is “Faux Pas” <3.
More than admirations, please take my applause (see me clapping), for your PERSISTNT hardwork.
This incident happened during my UG days. I used to stay in a hostel. We were four friends staying in the same room. They are Rashmi, Deepti and Vineeta. One night it was very hot so I slept on the floor instead of bed. The lights were off. Rashmi was outside the room as she was studying. Me, Deepti and Vineeta were sleeping. After some time Rashmi entered the room and she realised that there is a rat in the room and she screamed. Hearing her screaming and without thinking anything while my eyes closed 😛 , I just rushed from the floor to the bed hurting my toe. I stood on the bed. Rashmi, then switched on the lights and I saw that all of us were standing on the bed and were screaming “CHUHA CHUHA CHUHA” (RAT RAT RAT). While we were screaming out of fear, Deepti(a telugu girl) standing on the bed as well asked me in between “oye chuha matlab?” We didn’t know how to react and bursted into luaghter 😀 . Then the entire hostel woke up hearing us screaming and laughing including the 2 wardens who were terribly angry at us… 😀 And the worst part is I had a terrible pain in ma toe for 1 month because of the CHUHA… 😛
Guys….this is so awesome….having fun reading all the comments 🙂
joke
bhikari ‘ kuch khane ko do baba bhookha hai roti de do nahi hai to bread bhi chalega nahi hai toh b
iscuit de do yeh bhi nahi hai kal ka pizza bacha hoga woh hi de do
ghar ke andar se awaaz aati hai – tamatar kyo nahi khata
bhikari -oh ho tamatar hi de do kha loonga
ander se maa bolti hai -oh baba mera beta totla hai
uska matlab hai kamakar kyo nahi khata
congratulations and many wishes for further achievments
I have a whole bunch of funny tales, I’ll restrict myself though.
# 1
May 2006…A 20 something girl arrived at the hospital, one late evening while we were all busy in the EMS, emergency medical services department.
“I drank a bottle of Baygon”, she said tearfully. My registrar took her to a bed, put in a tube in her stomach and immediately started giving her stomach washes while we set up an IV line and the works. The fluid coming from the stomach was looked wierdly yellow, no smell of Baygon.
“Did you really drink Baygon?” he asked her
“Yeah yeah, the whole 90 ml bottle” she said
“Really?” he asked, doubting that the girl was just a hysterical patient
“Hmnnn,” she added coyly, “I was worried if its OK to drink it on an empty stomach, so I actually had two mangoes before drinking Baygon!”
While we all kept our cool there, and then, but the tale made us laugh everytime we remembered it
# 2
September 2006, I was posted in Obs-Gynae ward. The ward was flowig with new mommies and their howling babies. Tired after all my chores, I dragged myself one day to the nursing station and dragged a chair.
“Gosh, this ward is full” I complained
“It’s always busy, this time of the year. Every year”, the sister in charge claimed. “Even HOD madam agrees” she added further.
“Oh is it?” I asked, “Why is it so?”
“Well!” she blushed, “December mein thand hoti hain naaaaa…..”
oops, forgive the typos!
hi rati and sanjeev,
First of all congrats to you both:).This incident happened with me few years back when i was studying law.Its an old habbit of mine whenever i buy any clothes i come home and straight away hang it in my cupboard without removing the pricetag label hanging on it.One day when i went to university all my friends and seniors started teasing me by saying “miss 2000”,some of them said “oye hoye 2000”.I asked them what is it but no body told me anything and continued smiling.Half of the day passed like this.And then when i went to the wash room and there one of my junior came and said “dee aapk top ka pricetag latak raha hai,shayad aap nikalna bhool gaye” and then i realised that 2000 was the price of my top.Oh my god i felt so embarressed that time but later on me and my friends laughed a lot.And from then everybody called me miss 2000..:P
Congrats guys…..this is a huge milestone coz if my memory is correct IMBB celebrated 1L FB fans a short while ago only 🙂
I’ll just share a funny incident that occurred when I was doing my B Tech course…Our college campus was a green zone with mango trees planted neatly around the different buildings and during the season they used to sell the ripe ones in bulk but students were not allowed to pluck even one.During our final semester we had a surveying practical and were divided into groups and had to plot the whole campus on paper.The scorching heat of summer left three of us girls quite exhausted,the ripe mangoes and thought of having them with chilli powder and salt made our mouths water…So in the spur of the moment we forgot everything else and knocked down a bunch with our surveying rod-what followed was a commotion of sorts…we heard the security guard hollering and moving towards us…well we just grabbed the fruit of our hard work and ran in different directions…the guy tried to run faster and catch us red handed but he was no match for us…….Lucky for us the guard did not catch a glimpse of our faces so we got away safe…We couldn’t stop laughing whilst gorging on those fresh and succulent fruits-looking back it was one of the most exciting and funniest incidents from my college days…..
Kamlesh ka love letter :
” Mari Deer Puspa,
U r que tea, lub lee, sack sea, on nest, a track thief, soup pub & u r my most press yes lower.
…Tharo,
Cumless ” 😀
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”…. 😛
hi, few funny jokes r given below 🙂
A husband in a book store:
Do you have a book called “Husband,the master of wife?”
Sales girl: Sir, Fantasy and comic section is on the 1st floor!! 😀
GF-where r u?
BF-Im at bank…….
GF-i need Rs 30000 for blackberry and Rs 5000 for facial anf haircut…
BF-Sorry darlng, i mean at da” bank of River…macchi khaegi macchi???” 😀
Girl-(short clothes pehan ke)-
main young lag rehe hu na?
Boy-ye bhi utar do New born baby lagogi..!!! 😀
Double heart attak msg by a girl to a boy:
1st sms: let’s break up now,it’s all over.
2nd sms: sorry,sorry,sorry dat msg was not for you..:D
Rohan came from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his girl who was already asleep;;)
He gave a peck on her cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. ‘Who the hell are you?’ Demanded Rohan, ‘and what are you doing in my bedroom?’.
The mysterious Man answered ‘This isn’t your bedroom and I’m Yamraj’.
Rohan was stunned ‘You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. you’ve got to send me back straight away’.
Yamraj replied ‘Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.’
Rohan was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. ‘This ain’t so bad’ he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said ‘So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?’
It’s not so bad’ replies Rohan, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode’.
You’re ovulating’ explained the rooster, ‘don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before’. ‘Never’ replies Rohan ‘Well just relax and let it happen’
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him… ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his girl shouting
Rohan, wake up you drunken bastard, you’re shitting on the bed’ =D =))
*rolling on floor laughing*
Once I was in a bathroom at a public place, and came out of the stall to wash my hands. As I came up to the sink another lady was washing her hands in the sink right next to me. She looked in the mirror at herself and said “hey, how are you?” I glanced at her, “Im well, how are you?” She turned and looked at me and gave me a confused look, then she looked back down at her hands. “So how is your mom?” I looked at her wondering if I knew her or if she knew me..I couldn’t recall her. So I answered back “Shes fine? Do I know you?” She gives me the same confused look and walks over to dry her hands.. then I noticed she had a Bluetooth in her ear. She walked away finishing her conversation. I just looked in the mirror and couldnt help but laugh..very hard. Then for another funny incident someone walks out of the stall looking at me like I was crazy, standing there laughing at nothing with no one. I felt very weird and left as soon as my hands where dry..lolzzzzz it was really very funny….
Once a young mas was asked in an interview “Did you ever meet any Railway accident?
The man replied: “Yes, once the train was going through a long tunnel I have kissed the father instead of his daughter.”
beggar -give me something to eat i am dying of hunger roti de do nahi toh bread chalega biscuit ya phir kal ka pizza hi de do
ghar ke andar se awaaz aati hai ek bacche ki -tamatar kyo nahi khata
beggar -oh ho tamatar hi de do kha loonga
phir awaaz aati hai tamatar koy nahi khata
beggar gets irritatedand said tamatar dete kuo nahi
ghar se maa ki awaaz aati hai -baba samajhta kyo nahi mera beta totla hai
Lord shiva was once searching for his Trishul , Parvathi looking at shivas anxiety came and asked shiva what was he looking for … Parvathi then told shiva that rajnikanth had taken it to eat noodles 😛 😛 headbang headbang!
well….to start off i am a very big fan of this blog just to surf wat cream suits me… 😛
before u guys think tat i’m just boosting ur .com ill start offf with the joke..
Just a month ago my brother got engaged n in tat engagement one uncle appraoched me n question me “r u sister of santra(orange).” I was not aware of wat was he asking then he pinted out to my bhabhi (her name is sandra)…then i realised tat uncle thought her to be santra…HEHEHE!
LOL end of it..!! 😛 😛 hope u atleast smiled once while reading it.
I came across your FB page today .. liked it and went thru multiple articles .. i guess am on it since afternoon ..
This is an incident about my 5 year old .. he himself is quite naughty and has a classmate who is equally naughty .. they definitely do not get along at all …
he comes back from school one day (few days before dusshera vacation) and says ” Mom ..we friends have all made a plan … we will be putting a bomb in Atharva’s home”
i called his teacher and told her about this .. so that things can be controlled at school
i guess counselling was done as he did not mention it for few days …
last week schools started and he came back ” mom humara plan flop ho gaya … humein bomb nahin mila”
i counselled him … scolded him … for talking this way…
this week again .. diwali crackers ads appeared on TV …. he said “Idea – hum yehi bombs lekar ayenge”
I recited this series of incident with loads of stress at one of the family get-to-gather .. and to my horror .. all of them were laughing uncontrollably ….
I would also like to post some of his classic quotes
1. tum itna zor se kyun has rahe ho … yahan kya comedy circus chal raha hai …. ????
2. please piche baitho … tum fat ho … mere liye space kam hai (in car)
3. badmashi kiya to tiger ki girlfriend tumko dinner bana degi
4. main bada hoke wicked wala scientist banunga
5. dad – mom tumhare laptop pe kuch to kar rahi hai
6. dhakkan kahin ke … kuch bhi nahi pata
7. boyz bath karte waqt girls nahin dekhte … bhaag jao
8. uth jao … sun aa gaya …main kabhi jaag gaya
9. tumhara mobile chila raha hai
10. jooth bola to nose bada ho jayega … maara to hands main tree ayega
11. Dad .. humein jaldi se chupna hoga .. mom angry birds ho gayi hai …
12. mom late ho raha hai .. jaldi decorate ho jao
while eating bread – ketchup (inspired by CID) : yeh dekho koon .. laash bhi yahin kahin hine chaihiye
hi:)
this funny incident happened when we were off to our honeymoon in nainital.it ws evening time n we were just roaming around the market.now i don’t knw if u knw abt a roasted papad we get here.its a big papad with sm chutney on it.i wanted dt n my hubby bought me dt.a mild breeze ws blowing n dt is y i ws holding dt papad horizontally(so dt wind doesn’t break it).while eating i handed it over to my hubby as i wanted to tie my loose hair. he held it vertiaclly n the papad broke due to wind n only a small piece ws left in his hand.i laughed like nything n his expression ws worth seeing.n still whenever we remember dt incident it bring smiles on our faces.now
its been 18 months to our marriage n we r still dt honeymoon couple:)
this was the incident happened a month ago….but still i do remember it
one day in our college we shifted to another room than our regular one.we settled in the new room but one bench was left unoccupied as it has a “lizard” crawling under it.some of my classmates sat in the next(beside) bench and me with my three friends occupied last but second bench.as it was a leisure hour we thought of making some fun.everything was planned by one of my friend it was “she(my friend) took a small piece of chalk under and threw it towards the person sitting beside the bench with lizard.the class was very silent.the chalk piece almost went into the back of her dress,at that second she is not at all feared and about to look back who did this at this instant we(four of us) shouted “lizard…lizard………lizard” then she scared like anything thinking that it was lizard that went in to her dress,she jumped from her seat and uttered in fear and shouted in mother tongue(telugu) very funnily.we bursted out laughing,she noticed us gave an unpleasant look and again smiled and sat in her place.All the boys wide opened their mouth and starred turning towards us.All the girls laughed again and again sharing this incident each other
Moral: we girls enjoy each and every moment and its boys turn to wonder about our works
girls…..rockzzzzzzzzzzzz
I don’t know if this actually will sound funny if I write it. Some things are to be told in person. Still here it goes….
It was some 4 years back, Diwali time. I couldn’t go home for Diwali due to some reason and had to celebrate the same with my hostel mates. I was pretty miffed about it and sulking in my room when my friend came and suggested we go out for a walk. This was a very bad idea because not only it aggravated how much I missed my family; I also started missing all the cracker hungama. Dear friend suggested how about not get some crackers and celebrate Diwali at hostel. So ought we went to the nearby stall for crackers. I personally don’t prefer the ones that make noise, but rather love the sparklers, flower pots vagera vagera. And good lord crackers were quite expensive and it turned out max to max we can have 2 boxes of sparklers and maybe 1 or 2 flower pots (Read: by the time neighboring houses start with their crackers, we would have finished everything we had). That’s when I saw big, long and fat sparklers being sold for Rs.3 a piece. This was surprise to me as a box of little ones had cost me nearly 100. I told the shopkeeper to sell me a box of that one. He politely declined saying one customer can have just one of it. I took it as his idea of making profit by selling all the smaller ones for higher price.Hostel days, young at heart blah.. blah.. blah.., I made puppy faces and finally he sold me 3. You should have seen the perplexed look on his face. I didnt know why then.
We came back to hostel with the brought goods, called every other unprivileged soul (read: who couldn’t go home for diwali) and declared diwali celebrations at hostel.(we hardly had crackers to last 5 minutes).I went ahead distributed the small sparklers to all. Then came the round of flower pots. (I had kept the 3 big sparklers for myself and my friend.) Finally we came to the star of the night, “The big Sparklers”. I proudly started lighting it, hoping for the grand end to our little celebrations. But alas ! There had to be a cache. How much ever I tried couldn’t light it. It was just giving out fine smoke.(exactly burning like a big cigarette). I tried with a second one wondering the first one might be a defective piece. Same story again. That is when my warden came out to see what was going on. I told her how the “DAMP” sparklers are not lighting up. She took the same from me. Next thing I remember is our strict warden laughing uncontrollably. Long story short (ya I know its already too long), she explained later what I have brought is big Mumbatti Sticks sold in the cracker shop for lighting crackers. Yeah, explains the look on the shopkeeper’s face. He must really have wondered why I need three Mumbatti sticks for 5 rupee cracker!
That Handbag..
I jst lost my Corneal (blinking) reflex sigh…
Ahm.. ya..JOKE:
Years bck,I ws comin bck home frm college in an ovrcrowdd DTC bus with seniors (all medicos).V got no seat.A girl stndin nxt 2 me got 2 my foot,with hr pencil heels. It PAINED like HELL.
She askd (with a puppy face)-Sorryy, DID IT PAIN?
I replied- No no dear, My leg is on LA*, how can it pain?
Evry frn of mine laughd hs/hr guts out.She cldn’t gt anythin n md faces.
THOSE COLLEGE DAYS & THAT HANDBAG….
*LA= LOCAL ANESTHESIA
Thanks for the wonderful giveaway.
This happened in college with me…One of the guys sitting next to me was actually peeping in my exam paper and copying, The examiner (an old lady) saw him and asked him to get out. He panicked and started apologizing and said, he won’t do it again. But examiner was adamant and she asked him to get out…so he started making stories and said that he is unwell, his parents will be devastated and so on and suddenly clutched his chest and acted as if his heart was paining and he was fainting…(the only difference was that he was putting his hand on the right side of chest)….the examiner smiled and took his hand and placed it on the left of his chest and said, “Son, you forgetting that heart is on the left” and we all burst out laughing, even the boy smiled…the examiner spared him with a warning 🙂
Being an airforce kid train journeys are an integral part of my life..and often the movement includes tonnes of luggages,khana for journey,numerous water bottles etc etc..so one such journey that i remember vividly..The day was babri masjid day.I was in class 4..we were waiting for our connecting train from thrissur to guruvayur(place in kerala)…I am an impulsive obssessive reader..way back in class 4 too..so to keep my mouth shut my dad got me a comic book.I was happily sitting with my parents and my 5 year old sister,reading the magazine and as always completely engrossed in my reading world.Suddenly my dad told us there is change in platform and we had to shift to a diammetrically opposite one..so my mom and dad took charge of the luggages..me being elder was given the responsibility of my sister and the small stuffs like water bottle,my own bag with my goodies etc..we finally settled down and me again started reading …and 5mins later there was a big crowd opposite to us …bomb squad with the sniffing dogs were coming,police all around,people were panicking…..my dad went and enquired…someone had left behind a blue milton bottle and being babri masjid day and red alert situation,all were almost sure this was a bomb!my mom and dad as usual started criticising,political talks and were happy police is efficient atleast that day when mere dimag ki batti jali….!I had left behind my milton water bottle on the bench we sat earlier…and i blurted out this to mom dad and all realised what had happened…my dad rushed to the police and explained the situation and thank god he was carrying his id card and his rank was superior than the police officer,matter resolved..i expected a big big lecture ,scoldings and what nots when i saw my victorious dad coming with the water bottle…i started crying ..and the whole crowd started laughing!!!!and that was the moment..mixed with fun,tension,fear that i can never forget!!!Even now after 12 years,when we travel the first thing my dad asks me is iam planning to plant a blue bomb 😀 thank god media was not that active way back then….:D i could have had my own share of limelight 😀
once a sadar went to a petrol pump
petrol pump guy asked “kine da petrol pava sir?”
sardar replied “1 rupees da”
petrol pump boys irritatingly asked “ena petrol pua ke kithe jana?”
sardar replied ” jana apa kite ni , apa ta bas eda hi paise udaide ne”…
Moderation 🙂
I wud lv 2 hv any of these guddies cming from YOU..
Few days back there was repeated advertisement of movie Rowdy Rathore which was very annoying for my grany due to its high volume.
once when the add just finished my grany said bewildered “I am fed up of ur this RABDI DEVI”
It took me few minutes to confire what she exactly said n aftr that I laughed a lot holding my stomach n kept imagining the simili between Akshay and Rabdi….:)
Congrats IMBB on reaching the 2 lakh milestone!!!
plz rescue my comment!!!!
Soumia doing that now 🙂
Another very funny incident I can remember is when I was going to join my first job. The company had provided me and all new joinees with air tickets from our hometown. There were 4 other new joinees (3 guys and a girl) in the same flight. One of the guys was very mischievous and kept on trying to flirt with the beautiful air hostesses in the Jet Airways flight we had taken.
When the air hostess started demonstrating the safety procedures and instructions on how to fasten seat belt and so on, this guy started copying her and making faces and she actually burst out laughing in the mid of the demonstration and everybody got stunned and suddenly looked up as none had seen it happening ever before. The air hostess was really embarrassed and never came near our seats during the entire flight but sent her colleague. We all had a good laugh in that flight 🙂
The Department of Defense has a Contact Us link on its website inviting readers to pose any question they want. One guy did just that: “So do you have any top secret information you would like to tell me? I am doing a project for my senior economics class and was just wondering … E-mail me back.”
Congratsssssss…The thought of rati screamming makes me laugh…Imagine someone dolled up wearing laubotins who always looks ramp ready screming 😛
I’ll tell u 1 recent incident that had me in splits. I had gone to Bandra for shopping with my sisters. Without realising it was the last day of bandra fair we shopped till late..All tired and with our hands full with day’s shopping we were trying to get a rick back home..But not a single autowala was ready to go to our place…* Believe me mumbai autowalas can piss you of the way no1 can*.. tried stopping 20 of them but no1 even stopped to even listen where we wanted to go…My cousin was so pissed off she almost went and stood in the middle of the road..and autowala went away from the other side…I pulled her back to my side and donno wat happend but i waved to the next auto in slow motion movie style and the autowala in return waved to say no in same slow motion style…and me and my sisters started laughing in the middle of the road night all tired 😛 😀 .,..we later went back home walking though 🙁 … I donno if this sounds funny now but that yes it was very very funny 🙂
please ignore the typos 😛
Guy: Your glasses can’t be bad—you just got them!
Girl: Yeah, but I cheated on the eye exam, so it’s really my own fault.
Guy: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
Girl: I’m very competitive.
Girl: Why would he say that I was not educated?
Friend: Well, that’s not exactly what he said, now, was it?
Girl: No. He said I was tapid and voided of thought.
Friend: Vapid and devoid of thought.
Girl: Same thing.
Girl #1 (picking up box of baking soda): I didn’t know soda was baked.
Girl #2: Thank God it’s not fried! Do you know how many extra calories that would be?.
One of our visiting Italian students at Sheppard Air Force Base said he wouldn’t be able to fly that day.
“Why?” his teacher asked.
Marshaling all the English he knew, the student pointed to his ears and explained, “It’s my fallopian tubes.”
Hey Rati…a big congrats to you dear…
Well i would like to share a joke with you…
An illiterate father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, father wakes his son and asks : look up to the sky and tell me what you see?
Son: I see a million of stars.
Father: What does that tell you?
Son: Astronomically it tells that there are a million of galaxies and planets.
Father slaps the son hard and says: IDIOT, SOMEONE HAS STOLEN OUR TENT!!!!!!!!
Hey ..this is an incident that happened when I was a kid…
Well it was the time whi badly wanted to watch kaho na pyar hai n my day bought the rental to watch…i decided i’ll lie on the floor n watch the movie.. .after some tym my parents realized I was not there n thought I was in the bathroom…but when I did not comeback for a long tym they freaked out n thought I went out to play with tthe neighbourhood kids n staterd searching for me but couldnt find me..they even called up my school friends who livdd a few streets away but couldnt find me anywhere..they were contemplating calling up the police n while talking on phone something fell on the floor from my mum’s hand near the cot…when she bent to pick it up she found me sleeping peacefully under the cot…they had such a laughing fit after that…i’m still being teased fro m my family for that day:):):)
once me and my frends went fr a shoping.there I saw a very handsome guy
and was memorized by him…then at the cash counter that same guy was standing
behind me…and any how that cashier was not able to track my credit card number so h asked me
number plzzzz and in hurry and nervousness I had given him my phone number..that was funny incident
and more funnier is that that cute guy had taken my number and called me back…
now h is my darling bf and marrying this december.
My congrats comments are yet to be rescued..plz rescue this for the contest..This happened some 10 yrs back , which I was in college. I was wearing an anklet only on 1 feet, it was not very popular those days, especially not in a small town like mine.. my friends were already pulling my leg for it… we were returning home from college, and an old lady called me from behind and said “one of your anklets are missing”..My friends could not control their laughter, though they managed to reply the lady..”dont worry aunty..its all right..she says this is the latest fashion”…next day in college, you can imagine how much fun they made of me.. anyway those were the best times!! miss the good old college life.
thnks jomol, all comments rescued
A JOB INTERVIEW
BOSS – Why shld i hire you ?
Guy – I’ll be a great asset to d events team cus i party all d time
Boss – Y R u leaving your current job?
GuY – Those idiots r forcing me to attend anger management classes.
Boss – Tell me a time you made a mistake and how dealt with it ??
Guy – I stole equipment from my office and i had to pay for its replacement
Boss – Have you submitted your two weeks notice to ur current employer ?
Guy – What two weeks notice ? I’v never quit a job.. I have always been fired.
James bond was roaming around in a jungle when a dog tried to chase him.
Bond: I am Bond, James Bond.
Doggie: I am Dog, MAD DOG.
Bond ran for his life!
If someone says u are not looking good
JUST SAY –
”EXUSE ME !”
I am not your mirror…..
Congrats Rati and Sanjeev Ji 🙂
… laughing so hard….. 🙂
This is the funniest incident for me, no matter how many times i recall.
Me and my cousins had a sleepover at my place, we were a total of 7 members, 3 guys and 4 girls.
We had our dinner and were chatting, slowly two wickets(girls) were down by 12:45 am. But, I and the other 4 were laying and talking..it was around 3 am we suddenly hear someone clapping, we turn around and see that one of my cousin (neha) who slept early, was clapping in her sleep. The guys were laughing…while we both girls were scared seeing her clap like that. not even ten mins passed we hear her clapping again. We wanted to wake her up but the guys insisted on not doing so, we watched the clapping ritual with occasional “muhahahaha” laughs for about an hour. One of the guys (deepak known for being witty), told us not to tell her about this until he asks her something in the morning. we all woke up and were sitting in the balcony, then deepak and neha had a 60 sec talk,which after hearing we guys were literally rolling on the floor and laughing…this is conversation they had
deepak : arey yaar neha yeh bataa tumare college mein annual day hua tha kya ??
neha ( suprised, excited, childishly smiles tells him) : haan yaar tumko kaise bata !!!!
deepak : mujhe he nahi yahaan sab ko bataa hai ( and he started laughing aloud)
Even though we understood after he asked her and burst into laughter, we asked him how could he exactly think of annual day. Then he replied us saying ” for less than every ten mins she was clapping and laughing i thought maybe was dreaming of her annual day or farewell day, wer we have performances one after the other for every 10 mins :D”. We told her what all happened, even though she was embarrassed she started laughing with us.
Hi, This is my 1st time commenting here but I’ve been stalking ur site like a mad woman waiting for review after review…hehehehh…..
Not really sure how my story would sound to others but here goes:
This happened just a few days ago so I remember it well. My roommate and I have 2 dogs and we ordained one of them as ‘The Oracle’, his name is Hector actually. Anyway, one day we were being our usual crazy selves and asking The Oracle for guidance…Hehehehehe…Whenever we ask something he usually keeps quiet or whines but that day when my roommate asked him if either of us will meet a good/nice man by Dec this yr, our Oracle simply…..FARTED!!!! We went crazy laughing cos even our dog thought it was impossible….hahahahah 🙂
As of now, I feel it is more embarrassing than funny >!< hmmm…
The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
Congratulations IMBB! 😀 May you get many more followers and may Sanjeev ji’s phone be flooded by calls from Jomol and Neha. 😛
By the way, this has got to be the most awesome giveaway ever! I have been laughing like a 3-year old on Nitrous Oxide thanks too all these comments.
One of the funniest incidents happened with me about six years ago when I had just started learning French. I was about 14ish and my dad used to pick me up every evening. So, after the first class, I sat in the car excitedly talking about the events and said, “Oooh! And you know, our teacher is lesbian!” My dumbfounded dad was silent for five seconds before exploding into a “WHAT?!” and then I realised what I had said. Sheepishly, I corrected myself – “Oh, I meant she was Lebanese.” My dad was laughing all the way back home at my blooper and kept telling me not to make such a mistake again while I sat all red and shamefaced. 😛
The second incident is a bit risque but well, it was super funny. Our French class was an eclectic bunch of people, and many of them were certified crazy. One day, we were supposed to be debating the pros and cons of processed food items and this one guy went on a tirade against jams and how they are full of “préservatifs”. Our teacher was super confused until she asked him to explain what he meant and he said, “Arre, Ma’am! Preservatives hote hain na jam mein!” He had “French-ified” the word ‘preservatives’ and the teacher shook in silent laughter before explaining to the whole class what a “préservatif” means in French. (It’s a condom. :P)
And finally, another stupid incident. One of my closest friends is probably the smartest guy I know but he’s quite absent minded and silly in every day things. One day, we were making our way across a crowded parking lot when I saw a flying Hanuman figurine kind of accessory on the interior rearview mirror of a car. So, I squealed, “Oooh, flying Hanuman!” and instead of looking at where I was pointing, he stared at the sky and demanded “Kahan?!”, as if expecting to see Hanuman carrying a mountain or something.
Pffft! I knew my poor little comment would go into moderation. 🙁
Chalo, meanwhile, I have a classic joke to share.
Two lovers plan to commit suicide. They both reach a mountain top and the boy jumps first. About halfway down, he realises that the girl seems to have changed her mind and is walking about. He presses on something and as a parachute opens, he shouts, “Mujhe pata tha, chudail!” 😀 😀 😀
More moderation? Your automatic filter hates me. 🙁
Oooh! Oooh! I have more. All the memories of dumb incidents are flooding my mind now. Overheard conversations (I save them sometimes on my phone – typed, I mean; recording would be creepy):
At a cousin’s wedding:
Random Uncle#1: The good thing about love marriages is that there is already an understanding between the couple.
Random Uncle#2: Accha, tumhari love marriage hai kya?
Random Uncle#1: Haan, biwi ki taraf se.
At my college cafe:
Girl#1: So, how was Kurbaan?
Girl#2: It was okay, nothing special. The story was…
Crazy psychology professor standing nearby: DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT IT! I haven’t watched it yet!
At college cafe again
Girl#1: When I visited Ladakh, I drank yak’s milk.
Girl#2: Eeeew! Yaks give milk?
Random Coffee Shop (Just after the Mumbai attack)
Guy, reading the paper: This news report says that “rabbi” (he pronounced it was “ra-bee) was also killed.
Girl: WHAT? Oh no! I LOVED Bulla Ki Jaana Main Kaun!
I AM ROTFL over the line ‘haan, biwi ki taraf se’ 😀 😀
the funniest incident of my life happened when i was 12 years old! As a kid i always used to HATE drinking milk. Even though i hate it my parents always bugged me to have a glass of milk everyday. So to escape the torture i used to act as if i drank and i used to transfer it into a spare glass that i hide in my cup board and later it i used to throw it when nobody is around! 😀 🙂
Once day as usual my dad appeared with a glass full of HOT MILK and went up to the terrace to get something! I wanted to hide the milk but to my horror my secret glass was missing. I had no time as my dad could get down anytime. So i quickly threw the milk out of the window and as usual had this “look dad! i drank my milk and i am good girl no??” kind of expression when my dad came back.. 🙂 But my Dad literally YELLED AT ME and was continuously yelling at me for a while. I did not understand first but later i got to know that when he went to the terrace he was talking to one of my neighbor aunty who is standing downstairs and i poured a glass of HOT MILK on her face through the window.. lol!!!
I had to go to that aunt later and apologize and i still remember her face that turned out all red and she had to apply coconut oil to counter act the burning sensation… 😀 😀
It was such a lame thing i ever did and we still remember it sometimes and laugh out all the time… 🙂
Congratulations Rati & Sanjeev ji and the IMBB Team for the huge success! I am sure there’s a lot more in store for u guys.. 🙂 <3
Alcohol is a perfect solvent.
it dissolves careers, relationships, marriages nd families. latest-
it also dissolves airlines..
hyii.. i want to share a incident of my life.. its about my coaching class.. i used to sit in front row beside the stage of my teacher and just the opposite side of stage there were boys sitting..so girls on left and boys on right side. we used to sit like tis because there were 600 students in the class and to sit in front we have to do tis!! once i noticed there was a guy who used to stare at me during the class. first few classes i was really disturbed but then i started njoyng it.N let me tell u i wasnt the type of girl who used to talk to boys.. as i was studiyng in convent school so was bit shy from childhood.days passed the classes were goin to get over but the guy and me never had any conversation. neither he approached nor i tried. after one year suddenly i realised i have starting missing him and i tried to enquire about him and got his number.I called him. asked him how he is.. to my surprise he said who are u and i dont know u by name also. days passed.. i realised i hv started luvng him. i called up again. it was the nite before diwali. i straight fwd told him my feelings.. nd he made fun of me but said v can be gud frnds. after six months he called me up again nd proposed me.its been now almost 5 years that we r in a relationship. he is in chennai and m in bhopal doing mbbs. different proffession but we still understand each other very well. 🙂
that’s one great story!! 🙂
SO many many many many congratulations first of all….
Ok i am having lots of funny incident to tell… lets share couple of them…
It was my cousin sis’s Marriage…..
At the time of vidai, every one was so sad.. Crying as their beloved daughter was leaving to sasural…. ….. ….. suddenly every one has started to laugh like any thing, all mean all from her sasural & maika…
thing was that her brother & her husband was wearing sae color sharwani… so in that sad moment my cousin forgot that and she hug her husband in front of every one and has started crying…. LOL
2).. AS i am gujrati…. me and my asami girl friend was in garba-mood…
We was on my activa and singing a Garba loudly
ITs should b something like this “tame kaya te gam na gori lal…” It mean (Beautiful from which city you are??)
and we was singing “Tame kaya te gam na GORILA (from which city you gorila??)
on traffic signal an aunty has stopped us, gave us 10min long leture and correct us for our mistake… my god that aunty was so angry with us…. and every one on traffic single was laughing on us.. it was so embarrassing ..but its fun too.
Will tell you more tommrow.. bye… good night.. and once again congratulations
This is a true incident that happened a couple of months back:
I had made spicy coconut-mustard rice for dinner which turned out to be super-duper spicy. We ate. We went to bed… 2:00 am, I wake up with severe chest pain & I started screaming “I’m haaaaving a heart attaaackkk” “take me to hooospitaaal.” Husband dear literally fell out of the bed hearing my screams. DH kept saying it might be just gastric/acidity issues from the spicy food which I didn’t want to believe. Grabbing our 2 year toddler & her diaper-bag on the way out, we rushed to the ER. 15 mins drive later, we arrived at the ER & I was taken inside immediately, checked for my vitals: Everything normal (of course). My chest pain had reduced by then & I was beginning to realize that coming here was a big mistake (but too late)..
The nurses said even though it looks like a gastric issue (No heart attack, YAY), they had to follow certain procedures & do some tests (oh my) before sending me home. They put me on a bed in one of the rooms, hooked me up to a gazzilion wires & monitors ( I want my mommy)..
1. Blood test: 4 vials of blood drawn after several pokings.
2. Chest X-ray: oh Gaawd.
3. Wait for the blood test results: 2 hours (!!!!)….
I asked my hubby to go home with my toddler & get some sleep & that I would call him once they are ready to send me home.Reluctantly, they left….
During the 2 hours wait, every 10 mins a different nurse would come & ask for my story (Maybe they had put up a notice at the nurse station: Idiot in RoomNo-…)… One of the nurse’s turned out to be my student when I was a Graduate Teaching Assistant at the local univ… (someone, kill me now, plz)….
At the end of 2 hours, a nurse came with my reports saying every thing’s normal. As she was saying that she looked at the monitor above my head & gasped “your BP is so low, we hav to do another round of blood tests” ( I had been in a half-sitting, half-sleeping position for close to 3 hours, I was sleepy & strangely hungry, of course my BP would be low)…
Some more poking & another 4 vials of blood donated…. another 2 hours of waiting….
The results came back normal again, but they were just not ready to send me home. I guess it was not a busy day at the hospital. The ER duty doctor wanted the Cardiologist to take a look at me. The Cardiologist took one look at me, another look at my charts & burst out laughing “I don’t know why they called me, this is not a heart-related case.. haahaahaa…but now that I am here, I hav to follow certain procedures, you will have to undergo stress-tests” (are you kidding me? )
A nurse came, put me on a wheel-chair ( that’s right, hospital policy….) took me to the stress lab. Again, some more wires hooked on to me & I was made to run on the thread-mill for 10 mins…. Awake all night, hungry, angry at myself, on the verge of having a mental breakdown I ran & ran & ran to their heart’s content…
Finally around 11:00 am in the morning, they decided to send me home… I called my hubby and on the way home, picked up some burgers (don’t question my choice of food, I was so hungry) came home, ate & slept.
All my family & friends now refer to me as the “heart-patient” 😀
Sigh, if only I had listened to DearHubby in the first place 🙂
Wow Congratulation Rati and Sanjeev 🙂 🙂 ….m soo happy 🙂 🙂 …its wonderful giveaway….Thanks for the opportunity to narrate my most funny and memorable incident of my life….
Here it goes…..
This was when I was about 10 years old. My sister (8 yrs old in that time) and I woke up to go to school. I was feeling really sick, but still managed to jump into the shower since I always shower first. After showering, it was my sister’s turn to shower while I went to the dining room to have breakfast. Usually my parents had breakfast ready early in the morning on the table, unless it was chicken soup (which we would have to serve ourselves). Well, that day it was chicken soup, so I went ahead and got “my bowl” (the largest in the family of course) and scooped some chicken soup and put some steamed rice in it.
I was feeling so sick that as soon as I finished my bowl of chicken soup with rice, I started to puke. ;p Without a plastic bag in hand and unable to go to the restroom without making a mess, I decided to puke inside the bowl! I was feeling sick again, so I decided to go to the restroom. On my way to the restroom, I see my sister with her hair half-wet walking towards the dinning room to have breakfast. I rushed towards the restroom and started washing my face, tried to puke again but nothing came out… about 10 mins later… my sister walks by and asks me…
– “Hey, did you taste that sour chicken rice soup?”
The only way I can explain the expression of my face was… my eyes were probably twice as big and my ears moved all the way back… with a little devil smile 3:) on my face of course!
I asked: “Did you eat from my large bowl”?
She said: “Yeah, it was delicious wasn’t it!!!” 😀 😀 😀
Rajnikant Garba ki Raat Dhil Baja raha tha,
Thodi der Baad ek alien Dharati per Aya or Bola –
Bhai Mere bete ka kal exam he, Thoda Dhreere…
I was on a client call….and was working from home.it was more of a listening call……and i told my Mom about this giveaway without realizing that its not on mute….5 mins later, a colleague of mine pinged and asked if she can also particpate:D 😀 and guess what..she was the prenseter of the meeting and was speaking:D
ha ha 😀
this incident has to top the list of my most embarrassing and funniest things that happened to me.i was in a mall having fun with friends when the nature called me for small job.i went to the loo….did my thing….and was in need of toilet paper…..it was there, don’t worry…all clean and packed….i scrolled it out and it just came in my hand ….the whole roll that is.then……suddenly….it slipped out of my hand with its end left in my hand …..and it royally rolled out of the cabin like a red carpet onto the wash room floor……..damn…..i kept on pulling it to my self and it kept on rolling out more and more……shit it did know what to do…..then by some luck some lady threw it back in my cabin……i kept it in its place…..and ran out without raising my head….. straight out……i still laugh at myself coz of it……crazy stupid fun by god!!!!
Congratulations IMBB team for the increasing number of fans! 🙂
But it is indeed difficult to NOT become a fan after reading your wonderful blog 🙂
Funniest incident in my life………..i guess there have to be others but this is the one I can remember 🙂
I have a ‘masi’ who I was really close to, when I was pretty small, she always used to play with me and stuff. Then came the time that I had dreaded, time to be married and sent off! I was extremely sad, and when the ceremony was being held, I was walking around alone, pretty depressed. Then suddenly, I saw some stones lying around, and I started throwing those stones at the tent..! I had imagined that if I did such things, her marriage wouldn’t take place as people would get angry and she would be with me forvever ..lol.
Then my mother noticed all that was happening, and dragged me off…i said sorry to my masi for trying to ‘destroy her wedding’ 😀
As for the jokes, I have a few, but viewer discretion is advised 😛
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”
Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I earn the money in this family, so let’s call me the capitalist. Your mom says what we spend the money on, we’ll call her the government. Both of us are here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. Our nanny is representative of the working class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.”
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep and his father missing. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room, but there he sees the father in bed with the nanny and he can’t get their attention. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”
The father says, “Good, then tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”
The little boy replies, “Well, capitalists are screwing the working class while the government is sound asleep. Meanwhile the people are being ignored and the future is in deep sh*t.”
Another one which i thought was funny —
It is the 40th Birthday of a man, and he is expecting everyone to wish him a happy birthday as he had hoped it would be special. But as he goes down for breakfast, neither his wife nor his kids wish him. He is indeed very upset when he reaches the office and expects his colleagues to wish him. No one does. “No one cares” is what he thinks to himself as he sits down to work. Suddenly his young secretary comes along with his coffee and says “Happy Birthday sir”…at last!! Somebody cares! Somebody remembers!
As the day starts to end, his secretary invites him for a coffee at her place. He readily agrees and they head over. He enters her apartment, she asks him to wait in her bedroom as she brings him the coffee. Quickly he undresses and waits for her to come back….suddenly the door opens, and everyone he know enters and yell
“Surprise”…!!!!
He is *really* surprised 😛
I tried kick starting my bike for an hour, only to realize….. my bike was the one parked next.
moderation!!! (but i guess the jokes might need it)
😀 😀 😀 XD XD
IMBB A Big congratulation of this Achievement and I would like to share a joke which in a way symbolizes irony of Life…
Indian Education System Surprising Outcomes..The smartest students pass with 1st class and gets admissions to medical and engineering schools. The 2nd class students get MBA’s and LLB’s to mange the First Class students. The 3rd class students enter politics and rule both the 1st and 2nd class students. The failures join underworld and control the politicians and businesses. And best of all… Those who did not attend any school become Swamis and everybody follows them..
Second Joke:
PAPPU stands in airplane and shouts “HIJACK”
…………
everybody starts panicking and shouting and crying.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then JACK stands and replies
HI PAPPU
the funniest and in a way little embarrassing incident happened with me few months back when I was visiting a male gynaecologist with my husband for my menstrual problem. During questioning Dr asked me if at times milk comes out of my breast(I am not breast feeding,I have six year old daughter)before I could reply my husband immediately said no never. The doctor started laughing and so did my husband but I was embarrassed there but today I laugh thinking about it.
4 Men In A Prison Cell:
1 Rapist
1 Murderer
1 Psycho
1 Gay
Rapist : If there was a cat here I would f*ck it till it dies.
Murderer : Once you’re done with it, I’d torture it to death.
Psycho : Ooh Yeah and once it’s dead, I’d f*ck it till I die.
The Gay in the corner softly n slowly says:
“”Meeeowww”” 😉
comment awaiting moderation 🙁 .. plz rescue super rescuers… 🙂
Hey Guys , congrats 🙂 on the 200k fan club…
I am really happy for you guys & you are so deserving for this milestone & more to come,,
Here’s a joke i really like:
Santa Ne Anda Fry Kiya aur wo Jal Gya.
Murgi Ne Dekh liya.
Uspar, Murgi Ne Santa Ko
Zor Se Thappad Marte Hue Kaha :
Sale Tujhe Dena Pade To Ehsaas Ho !!!
Okay.. I cant pick one of these so mentioning the top three.
1. 4-5 yrs back, a guy from a matrimony alliance came to meet me in my office. He had already liked me and wanted to know my answer in that small meeting itself. I didnt like him and was thinking of some polite ways to say no to him. I decided to convey the message to him indirectly, so I started telling him how I didnt believe in arranged marriages, how it was impossible for me to take a decision in just one meeting and why I was searching for a soul mate. He seemed quite impressed with whatever I said and complimented me by saying how he had never met a girl who was so clear about her finding spark in a person.
After I finished my entire Bhaashan, he smiled at me and said he understood what I said. And then he asked me, ‘so, what do you think of me? Yes or NO?’ 😀
2. This happened when my husband got posted to a new area. On his last day in the sub division, the residents got a little emotional and one of the old village pradhan held his hand and said, ‘saab.. aap yahin reh jaaiyye.. aap jaisa doosra commissioner nahi aayega’. To this, my hubby replied, ‘aisa mat sochiye.. mere baad bhi bahut achche officers aayeinge’ and then the village pradhan said, ‘no sir, you are lying. every officer says so but we never get a good officer!’ 😛 My hubby paused for a moment and the pradhan totally realized his slip of tongue. Though he felt extremely sorry but the whole crowd had a hilarious time then.
3. And this is a joke that I read somewhere.
After a husband and wife have a heated argument, the wife calls her mother. “He fought with me again! I’m coming over to live with you.”
“No, no, darling,” replied the mother. “He must pay for his mistake. I’m coming to live with you.”
XD XD
rofl…!! first one was great……men!
why Gandhi Ji smiles on every rupee note,
& lincon doesn’t smiles on dollars?
because American women don’t keep the money inside their blouse.
Well this incident took place when I was doing my MBA 2 years back. Me n my friend landed in an simple beauty saloon, as we were really new to the town Warangal we thought of giving simple try for eyebrow/ threading. saloon was simple but prizes were really high so me my friend started talking in marathi that … How can she quote such a high prize as if she is running an high tech spa… this is nothing but the trick of looting new students, look at the curtains ..how dirty they are, is she using nice product or are they just cheap to her and this woman is such a vixen ….and so on ( me n my friend were also new to each other 😛 ) suddenly that lady asked back in marathi …which city of Maharashtra u belong ??? we went numb…. I managed to answer as politely as I could…. n the friend of mine who went for eyebrow threading …dnt ask wat happend to her face… I luckily got escaped by saying I just came to accompany her …. 🙂
congrats rati n sanjeev…congrats IMBB team.. <3
here comes my PJs n jokes…
secret of successful married life…
khud ko sher samjho…
aur biwi ko
.
.
shero wali mata !
.
.
bolo sache darbar ki jai
mat khel mere dil se,
bahot nazuk mijaaz ki hoon…
tujhe khabar bhi na hogi, yu hi haste haste 🙂
.
.
. main mukka wukka maar dungi..
fir mat boliyo 😉 :p
A man checked into a hotel. thr was a computer in his room ,so he decided to send mail to his wife..however he typed wrong email address and without realising he sent mail to widow who just returned from her husband's funeral..the widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from friends and relatives, after reading the first message she fainted.The son rushed to room n found his mom on floor n saw computer screen which reads- " to my loving wife, i know u are surprised to hear from me,they have computers here and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones, i have just been checked in.How are u n kids, d place is really nice but i am lonely here :(. i had made necessary arrangements for ur arrival tomorrow. expecting u darling 🙂 "
lolzzzzz
santa and banta were playing chess( joke doesnt end here)
santa- chal yaar bas karte hain,pak raha hai
banta- ha yaar waise b tera sirf haathibacha hai n mera sirf ghoda.
(joke doesnt end here too)
phir waha vishwanathan anand aata hai,
vishy-chalo santa banta, chess khelte hai.
santa-banta- nahi, aap toh hume aise hi hara doge.
vishy-chalo yaar, tum dono aur main akela.
s n b- phir bhi hum haar jayenge
vishy- ok, main left hand se khelunga.
s n b- haan fir theek hai.
(the joke doesnt end here too)
dono obviously haar jate hai n vishy chala jata hai.
santa- badi sharmanak naat hai, left hand se b hara diya usne.
banta- abey, bewakoof bana gaya woh hume
santa- kaise?
banta- saala lefty hi hoga… 😀
Leave application by KG kid 🙂
Dear mishh,
.
.
.
main
nai aaounga :'(
nai aaounga :'(
nai aaounga :'(
nai aaounga :'(
nai aaounga :'(
.
.
.
.
.thank you
bashhh
nai aaounga :'(
hehehehehehe……
girl-call me shona
boy- shona babu
girl- call me sweetheart
boy- sweetheart
girl- call me honey
boy- honey
girl aarey CALL kar na murkha…
boy-oh ok ok :p
1 ladki ghar se bhaag gayi,
3 din baad wapis aayi..
.
.
baad( gusse mein);
Ab kya lene aayi ho???
.
.
.
.
.
patli pin wala charge….:D 😛
the lol scary moment;
when goin on a roller coaster,
take some spare screws with u and tell the person sitting ahead of u
Dufde, this came out of your seat 😉
boy- i love u
i cant live without…mar jaunga mit jaunga…ter epyaar me fanah ho jaunga
girl-hmmm….dekh teko jaisa theek lage….
killer one!!!!
A suicide bomber enters a pet shop n says" everyone has 1 minute to get out"
the tortoise says" kya faltugiri hai yaar"
i have a variation on the santa-banta chess jokes!!
santa – chal yar chess khelte hain.
banta – ruk yar maine sports shoes nahi daale!
Congrates IMBB
these jokes n incidents made me glued to ths page today!!! well I want 2 incidents to share with u…
Once i was watching Aisha ka title track on TV with ma mother & bro sitting wth me. there’s a shot in which Sonam uses lash curler just the next moment my mom popped up with a comment “ye aaj kal ki Ladkiyan abhi tk to hath pair k baal hi nochti thi ab ankho k baal bhi nahi rehne degi?” ( the girls used to wax hands & legs now they’ve started cutting down their lashes?) and gosh I had a blast for a minute & ma bro looking at me for answer made me laugh even more longer & louder!!!
There’s a 2nd one which i dedicate to the girl who wrote POGO wala joke.
I’m not into watching Big Boss. when Pamela Anderson came in one of the season, the market was full of jokes on her particularly the assets which gained her even more popularity. i really donno who she was and what’s so famous abt her till the time i didnt realized what mistake I’ve done. Please read on….
one day during ma semester exam i got a non veg text saying those who didnt got shud watch pogo. I asked ma frnd to xplain it to me she said “padh le Chup chap kal paper hai” (read for the exam tomorrow) then i ignored and went on reading for ma paper. Months later, while i was cleaning up ma inbox while chatting at night with a guy i found ths joke & asked him to xplain it to me. he 1st asked who send u ths so i said a frnd f mine. he then asked Boy or a gal? i said gal. to which he replied u better watch pogo rather asking me ths. to which i almost pestered him to explain as i really wanted to know wats this joke is all about because I was confident enough tht if it’s having word ‘POGO’ in it this cant b a Non veggie!!! (I’m such a moron! :P) after all ma girlie efforts of not talking to u forever etc.(which i really dnt like) he decently replied ask the gal who sent it to u as i wont be able to explain it to u if u want lets not chat further tonight. i was like ok i’ll ask her tomorrow as i really liked late night chats wth him those days 😉
next morning i went to ma frnd straightaway to explain it to me ASAP & i was ashamed of the ways by which i pestered tht guy last night that i really thank god that he’s ma good frnd through FB and v didnt planned to meet face-to-face ever. upon asking how did u asked me to explain such an old n outdated joke all f a sudden… i told ma frnd and she said ‘tumhe wahi mila tha is joke ka explanation mangne ke lie? ( he was the only one u find to explain ths particular joke?) made ma face go red but then i told her how much i pestered him for explaining & how calmly n decently he refused every time. ma all gang of gal laughed at me whole day for what i did!!!
It happened yesterday. I was supposed to attend one of my many long distance – no contact relatives weeding. My parents were out of town and I was instructed to attend it anyhow. I did attend a weeding yesterday however it wasn’t theirs. I went to a different wedding by mistake. 🙁 😛
I am thrilled to bits to hear that u guys hit such a huge landmark. Congrats. Glad to be part of the IMBB family. Am also glad about this contest ‘cos i got to read so many jokes all in 1 place and at the end of the day before i call it a day, i am all smiley smiley, relaxed and just plain happy.
Thanks IMBB and thank you all. Love ya.
When Sunny Leone participated in Big Boss last season, in newspaper news came as “po** star” participating in Big Boss. One of my friend’s elderly relative who was not so much educated but does knew little bit English after reading that news she started saying to everyone “arrey woh Amrica ki koi bahut badi “Pop Star” hai woh Big boss mein participate karegi hum sab dekhenge”. 🙂
The best joke ever.! Hilarious…. 😀
A sardarji one night felt like having a smoke. He pulled out a cigarette and looked everywhere for a matchbox or a lighter. Par usko ek bhi maachis nahi mili. Ant mein puri tarha se niraash hokar, ghusse mein voh candle bujha kar so gaya! :D:P
Congrats IMBB.. 2 lakh .. wowiwwwwwww.. Yayyyyy.. & a Giveaway… yummyyyy tooo..
Funny incident-
When i was a kid, i used to love mehandi on hands alot, but alas.. no patience to sit, wait for it to dry.. i wanted to scratch my nose & what not @ tat time :P. even after waiting for a grand of 15-20 mins (yeaahh.. it seemed like eons for me.. even now.. :P) , it used be in orange color…. So my mama suggested me a easy peasy way to get b’ful mehandi on hands..
1. draw the design on hands with pen (blue preferably.. i dnt knw why blue.. may be to create it as serious thing 🙁 .. (was i soo dumb)
2. mix henna paste in rice, with lots of lime juice & eat it early before the rice gets stained..
3. sleep for 1-2 hours, & after waking up, the pen design will become a beautiful red.
yess.. i did it.. I could eat only 2-3 mouthfuls.. & by that time, my naani & maasi rescued me.. & i was crying that i wont get red mehandi on my hands.. baap re.. till now my maama, chidofys me abt it..
PS: Do not try this, performed by great dumbos only..
All the funny stuff above, made my day today.. Thanks everyone..
moderation…. whyyyyyy.. itna paaap kya kiya mainey.. ” acha sila diya tuney mera comment kaa. ” I hereby request to release comment or.. or… or.. i shall sing (ok.. rite) altaf raja songs continuously here… 😛
Joms rescue my comment na….
Teacher : what is liquid when itz normal but when u heat it , it becomes solid
Sham: pancakes dough :p
Congratulations!!! This is just the beginning, I’m sure IMBB is going a long way ahead! 😀
And here’s the joke that I find quite amusing 😀
Husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
americans invented Mobile,
iphone, cellphone.
Japanese invented SIM Card.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Indians invented Missed Call..!!!
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder 😀
A starlet is seated next to a lawyer on a long flight. She craves her sleep, but he keeps waking her up. ”Let’s play a trivia game,” he suggests. ”If Im unable to answer, I’ll pay you $50. If you are unable to answer, you owe me $5.”
The starlet agrees, and the lawyer goes first. ”What’s the distance between the earth and the moon?”
The starlet hands the lawyer $5. Now it’s her turn. ”What goes up a mountain on three legs and comes down on four?”
The lawyer is dumbstruck. He scans the internet, flips through his pocket encyclopedia, and texts every scientist he can find. No dice..
he hands over $50 to her and hides his face in shame for a while. Hours later, he wakes up the starlet and asks, ”So now kindly tell me the answer?”
Without a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.
and congo fellas..;) im a huge follower of your blog..this achievement just made me super happy..:)
the lipstick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s haunting me!! 😀
now i’m remembering more stupid incidents!!! 😀
okay this is one-of-those-things-which-you-should-do-at-least-once..!!
my best friend had a crush on this guy from our coaching classes, but was too afraid/shy to actually talk to him. once on her birthday, some four of us were hanging out, when she got excited and told me that she had got his number..! but she didn’t know what to do with it, so i decided to put my plan into action (i didn’t have anything to lose!! :P)
so i call up this guy and he asks who’s this, and i’m like ‘hey, this is sneha!!! (completely fake name, pulled out of thin air)… how are you??’ ..he was bewildered and asked ‘huh, who sneha? do i know you?’ and i (completely unabashed) continue ‘didn’t talk to you for a few days and you forgot me?? huh!!’ (i know, total nautanki)
then that guy (who turned to be a major flirt) says ‘OH SNEHA!!! i remember you (giggles rom our side), how are you doind nowadays??’……lol….then as my best friend is trying to kill me, and my other friends are holding her back, i say ‘hey, where are you? didn’t meet for such a long time, can you come to sector.35..??’ …at this moment my friend was literally shouting at me ‘STOP this!!!’ but the deed was done……since the guy was completely ‘vehla’, he comes over in like 10mins, after which we told him, we were just playing a prank and we have the laughs 😀
then he asks us, who called me, and we all point to my best friend (who had a crush on him) and she has to admit it 😀
then we all hung out, introduced ourselves and basically had a fun time on her birthday.
although she didn’t admit it, she was pretty much pleased about what I did XD
Two lakh facebook fans is NOT a Joke!! OMG like just some time back you had reached 1 lakh fans and so quickly another lakh. Okay I’ll share a joke later 🙂
A man boards a flight from Delhi to Mumbai and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she’s heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right next to his!
Eager to strike up a conversation, he asks Business trip or vacation?’ She turns, smiles, and says, Business. I’m going to the annual Sexologists Convention.’
He swallows hard. Here is the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting next to him, and she’s a sexologist! Struggling to contain his excitement and maintain his composure, he calmly asks, What’s your business role at this convention?’
‘Lecturer,’ she says, I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.’
‘Really?’ he says, swallowing hard. What m-m-m-myths are those?’ ‘Well,’ she explains, one popular myth is that African men are the best endowed when, in fact, it’s the Tamilian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, whereas actually it is the Bengali. However, we have found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Sardar.’
Suddenly, the woman becomes a little uncomfortable and blushes. I’m sorry,’ she says, I shouldn’t be discussing this with you. I don’t even know your name!’
‘Venkatraman, ‘ the man blurts out. Venkatraman Mukherjee! But all my friends call me Joginder Singh =D
Congrats IMBB…
Here is the weirdest thought/joke that I had in my entire life :-
I need a new small room in my house. Should start to plan how to get my house pregnant 😉
And its witty too 🙂
All major things a woman needs in her lifetime start with the letter M.
MAKE-UP
MAN
MONEY
MOM
MERCEDES
MASTI
MAGIC….. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
…A MAID!!! ( ask all the mothers on this blog!!!)
There is nothing more expensive than a female
tear..
.
.
When a single drop comes out,it first mixes with “loreal”
eyeliner and “Dior” mascara 😉
.
then when it comes down to cheek..
it mixes with D&G blusher 🙂
. .
and in case it touches the lips,,
it gets mixed with “Maybelline” lipstick
this means that a single drop is worth atleast Rs.2500 😛
Jackie Chan’s wife dies after 1 year of marriage.
Santa consoles him by saying…” Chinese thi yaar…aur kitna chalegi??”
2 lacs and that a great hit.. Way to go!! Congos Rati and Sanjeev ji 🙂 🙂
First of all congrats for your successes.
Well the funniest thing which turnout as a happiest moment of my life is.
One day I went for shopping with my friends there i saw a very cute and handsome looking boy all the time we were staring at each other , then at the cash counter when I had given my credit card for payment due to some reason cashier fails to track it so he asked to narrate the number and in nervousness as the guy was behind me I narrated him my phone no..
That is the funniest thing of my life and even more funnier I got a call from that boy..
and now that boy is my boyfriend we still laugh our lungs out by remembering that moment ..
LOVE IT………
Congratulations IMBB team 🙂
Awesome way to celebrate with a giveaway! I have been reading the comments on this post for over an hour and still not completed the whole page!! Hilarious!
And here comes the funny moment in my life.
I was 2.5 years old by that time (I’m 23 now :P) and my lil bro was 1 year old. One fine morning when i woke up, i saw my bro sleeping on my little bed (which was bought for me by my parents when i was born). I got angry on seeing that and did that funny thing. Guess what, i dragged the bed with him on it outside my house, pushed him out of bed and brought in the bed alone. He woke and started crying in a loud voice and my mom came running searching for him. I did it in a hurry and dunno what to do. I ran in, opened the refrigerator and sat inside it 😛 Thank god my bro was not much harmed and i slightly escaped from being murdered!! 😀 Even today, whenever me and my bro fight, my mom used to tell this incident and laugh at me. 🙂 🙂
Lakshmi Priya..
This was indeed clever for a 2.5 yrs old gal… 😀 you could have thrown him inside the house itself 😛
Mindreading:
What goes on inside the mind of a woman:
“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?”
What goes on inside the mind of a man:
If women ruled the world there would be no wars… Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
Disclaimer: This post is by a female who used to wear neckties (school uniform) :o)
Congrats guys…party time indeed!
Here is my contest entry…drooooling over the bag!!!
Overheard in a ladies’ fitting room: “Honestly, do these pants make my rear end look big?” “Honestly? Your rear end makes the pants look big!!!”
well , i can say this . i really wanted to call my mom that is abroad on skype to see how she was doing but when i called she couldn’t hear me . ex . hello ? hello ?
next time called . hello , hello don’t call my number again !
she thought it was a prank caller but it was me her daughter . oh my gosh i felt so bad but yet it was funny at the same time . so right after i fb msged her telling her it’s me and on skype but guess she hasn’t received the msg . so far .. yikes .
tumblemumbo at gmail.com
Congratulations IMBB team!!!
Good idea to post the funny comments 🙂 enjoyed Reading it!!!
Congrazz imbb.. 🙂 many more celebrations ahead!!!
Aiyooo m again excluded from give aways.. 🙁 sob sob
Wow.. congrazzzz imbb.. 🙂 wishing many more celebrations ahead!! Lil sad m nt participating again.. 🙁
Joke of d day: for all smart hubbys- dnt ever laugh on ur wife choices, u r one of them.. 🙂 😉
Dats hw I always take stand infront of my hubby.. he he..
Aww moderation..
Husband: aaj tum fir suit le aai, abhi parso hi to…….
Wife (gusse me): kya kya kya parso bolo kya parso….???
.
.
.
.Husband: Nai….. parso bhi 1 hi liya tha aaj do le aati…..:)…
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. ‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me — a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!’
And the husband replied, ‘Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.’ ‘Fine, go ahead,’ she sobbed,’ but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!’
And the husband began – ‘Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight.. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.’
The husband took a quick breath and continued – ‘She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
‘Please … Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?
lol
jai bajrang bali
Ram Lila se Hanuman tha farar,
role ke liye fit kia ek Sardar.
jo tha bahut hi kamaal,
Ped se chhalaang maar ka bola “Jo Bole Sonihaal”,
sita maiya SASRIAKAL
Aapki mahima hai Apram Paar….
I M A SON OF SARDAAR…….
Bolo ta ra ra ra ………
2 pandito me ladai ho rahi thi. Bhaut der ho gi to 3rd pandit ne aakr pucha, kya hua? 1st pandit bola jb mein lehsun pyaj ni khata to isne mere chicken me dala kyu !
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
Millions of Congratulations……..
We all wish that fan list be updated non-stop in multiples 200k next 400k and the list goes on…….
The beauty of this blog is it is simple,
informative, people feels immediately
attached even with first glance.
sorry i think my previous update was goes with wrong Email-id
Height of misunderstanding
Someone placed a bomb near an old lady
Everyone yelled “Aunty bomb hai!!!!!!!!!”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
She smiled and said…
NAHI RE PAGALON , AB PHELE JAISI BAAT KAHAN…….:P 😀
congratulations guys………way to go:D
RAM SITA LOVE LETTER IN PUNJABI 😀
प्यारी सीता,
मैं itthe raji ख़ुशी से हाँ and hope ke tu v ठीक ठाक hovengi,
Laxman रात नु tannu बहुत याद करदा si.
मैं इस बन्दर दे हाथ tannu चिट्ठी bhej reha हाँ,
तू bilkul tension ना layi मैं बहुत jaldi tenu ravan कोलो chuda
lavanga.
मैं AIRTEL दा postpaid ले लिया सी, RAVAN nu मैं mobile te bhot
गालियाँ kadiya te साले ने काट ditta,
चल कोई ni मैंने आना ता है ही. Taan KUTUNGA साले KANJAR nu.
मैं तेरे naal भी एक AIRTEL ka prepaid bhej riya सी usme 1500 SMS free
wali scheme हा, तू रोज़ मेरे को SMS kari.
Chinta ना kari, जब भी gal करने को जी करे, एक miss call मार diyo.
मैं यहाँ से tenu बात कर levenga.
तू मेरे bill दी chinta ना kariyo, Sugreev nu payment दा jimma दे ditta
si.
Accha OK
See U.
With Luv
दशरथ दा Vadda पुत्तर “राम”
Dad to son: Agar tu fir se exam me fail hua to mujhe papa mat bolna…
AFTER EXAM
Dad: How is your result ?????
Son: Dimaag kharaab mat kar Ram Lal……tune baap hone ka haq kho diya hai …. 😀
This happened when I was around 4 years old. My mother told me this…
One day there was some Homam that was happening in a near bytemple. The whole day I could hear people chanting mantras and singing songs (basically Sanskrit songs). That evening, my mom took me to the temple. I asked her if I can sing a devotional song. She was surprised and was eager to know what song I was going to sing. Cos I just started going to school and mom thought I should have learnt something new at school..
She said, ‘Yes, go on’.. 🙂
Any guesses? What song it should have been?
No?
ok.. I just started with a loud voice ‘Jana Gana Mana…..’ 🙂 Yes, our National anthem with a strict attention posture 😛
My mother stood there not knowing what to do.. as others started gazing at me…
My mother tongue is Tamil.. So I thought ‘Jana Gana Mana…’ was something like mantras that they were chanting.. Probably cos I dint understand the meaning…
I left the place only after completing the whole song it seems… Must have been quite embarassing for my mom..
But… Mom says.. ‘Its the devotion that matters… so its ok.’ So sweet.. right? 🙂
Everytime my mom tells this story to someone they just burst out laughing :):)
Have a nice day! 🙂
Door ki soch….
Is saal jab 12-12-12 date aayegi aur 12 baj kar 12 minute
aur 12 second honge to tab 12-12-12, 12:12:12 honge…….
Teri jaan Kasam………………………
SARDAARON ko kaun sambhalega ?????????????????? 😀 😀 😀
😀 😀 😀
CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is such a momentous occassion for you :).
This incident happened with me just yesterday which was quite funny as well as witty…we just got my younger son’s mundan (tonsure) done last week and he’s still a bit upset over the loss of his hair. I told him to let me put a little bit of oil on the scalp stubble so that he would get nice new hair. I was so stunned when he said “Mama, new hair come then oil.” I laughed out loud at the way my two year old toddler was trying to outsmart me. Clearly shows the intelligence, wit and presence of mind of the current generation of toddlers!
Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband, “I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?”
Husband replied, “Your eyesight is still excellent.”
This is an incident when my first son was born, the naming alphabet was P so everyone started suggesting names. I wanted modern and my in laws something authentic so I was talking to my masi when she suggested Prahlad and suddenly her 5 year son said didi are you keeping the baby’s name Prahlad, I said we are thinking on which he innocently replied phir to jiju ka naam bhi HIRANYAKASHYAP rakhna padega.
This incident happened with my sister. One day my jeeju called his friend from my sister’s number and she was unaware of this fact. After a few hours when he left for office ,my sister got a call from that number. On the other side there was a lady(actually an angry bird).So the conversation goes like this:
Lady: Hey who are you
Sister: Why ? You called ,you tell?
Lady: You called on this number.So you tell first.
Sister: I am sorry but I didn’t.
Lady: Ok I know you want my husband .What you have to do with him. You just wait and watch and see what all I can do.
(by this moment my sister started laughing and yes she was a bit frustrated too)
Sister: Ok I am waiting . Do whatever you want to do.
Lady: Why are you laughing.Don’t think I can’t find you.Stay away from my husband or just wait for the result.
Sister : My sister laughed again and disconnected the call.
That frustrated women called again but my sister didn’t answer.
So she called from some other number and acted as if she’s a telecaller.
She said “Ma’am I am calling from xyz company.May I know your name?”
My sister: “HAHA I caught you.You’re the same lady na? Don’t bother me,nobody’s is interested in you husband”
she said” OK ,you will not tell me your name na? OK then wait for results”
When my jeeju came back my sister told him everything.Then he checked the number and said “Oh yes I made that call”.Then he called his friend to clear the misunderstanding.His friend after listening to what has happened replied in a very low tone”OK” and he sounded as if he is the pig who has been hit by an angry bird 😛
First of all I would like to Congratulate the IMBB team for its Success. The reviews are Fab and they helped me a lot for my wedding make up shopping. Because of Rati’s awesome review on Clarins beauty flash balm i bought my first luxury skin care product. Thanx a ton for that.
Joke of the Day: An old lady goes to the doctor..
Lady: Doc I have problem with gas but it really does not bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, i have farted atleast 20 times since i have been here in your office. U didnt know I was farting bcoz they dont smell and are silent.
Doctor: I see take these pills and come back to me next week.
The next week lady comes back. She says, I dont know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts still silent…but stink terribly.
Doctor: Gud now dat we have cleared up your nose…Lets work on your hearing!!!
Have a good day Guys!!!
Hi Guys… 2 lakh fans is a major major milestone… great going 🙂 though I am not regular anymore, i hop by occasionally and am so glad I did this time :p
Hope you guys continue with the good work and have another 1 lakh fans very soon!
The giveaway is great… am totally lusting after that bag…lol… so here is the funny incident that happened to my colleague. He went shopping with his wife and she was at a lipstick counter. She kept on trying various shades and this guy was getting bored. Finally, she shortlisted 3 lipsticks and held them out to show the hubby. He took one look at it and said, “Not this one Jaanu. It tastes yuck!” She didn’t buy anything from that counter again 🙂
my comment went into moderation! 🙁
Lololol I’m just laughing and laughing today reading all this! 🙂
Dear God
Yesterday was an awful day for me!!!!
My husband ran off with his secretary.My son pierced his eyebrow.My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head.My dog mated with the neighbours cat.My neighbour sold her house to a mental institution.My Mom told me I was adopted.My boss told me I was laid off.My sister was arrested for prostitution.My house has termites.My car was stolen.All that came in the mail was bills.A plane crash landed on my garage.OJ Simpson came to my door selling rug cleaner.And my TV blew.
LORD. Pls.be with me today….I was able to live through all that misery yesterday. And I will be able to make it through anything today!!!!
But please…. DON”T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO MY COMPUTER!!!!!!!!:p
Okay now when I have to narrate a funny incident my brain decides to forget everything that has ever happened to me. I renember a few incidents though.
#1 It was on Valentines day last year. So all us know how a rose is the symbol of love. But my boyfriend had other ideas. I was ready for my date when my boyfriend shows up and what does he bring me? Naah not a rose, thats too mainstream for him, he brought me a POTATO instead. Yes, a freaking potato. His logic: ” Roses are pretty but they wilt away in like a week, and you have to put them in water and all. But a potato? A potato lasts like forever. Not only that, you can even eat it or make a battery out of it and it grows buds too. Its useful, it doesn’t need to be beautiful.” I was like Whaaaaa???
#2 I was chatting with a guy from our class on facebook when he asks “
#2 this guy on fb asks me “What are you doing?”
Me: Nothing much just surfing.
Him: Oh what are you suffering from?
Me: Eh, I’m surfing the net.
Him: Okay okay take rest, I think you’re ill.
Me: Whaaaa!!???
Finally I’d like to share a joke:
One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans ’cause they made me flatulent.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.”
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: “Happy Birthday!”
I fainted.
Someone please rescue my first comment 🙁
hey congratz!!!!!!! this is the first time i am participating…….it’s an old joke but my favourite since childhood……i love this joke so would like to share it……….. sab jagah shor macha hua tha k ek paagal ne 300 page ki book lihk di….sab hairaan reh gye aur sochne lage kamaal ho gya ……aur fir socha chalo padhke toh dekhe k paagal ne kya likha hai book mein……………………aur jab book khareedi aur pehle page pe likha tha ghora kaise daurta hai????????????? …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… aur baki ke 299 pages pe likha tha……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad dagad……………….
Wow! This is so awesome! Totally kicks a** 😀
Feels it was just yesterday that IMBB reached 1 lakh fans! Kudos to the entire team for making everyone a part of this beautiful warm relationship – here’s to many more lakhs 😀
Love u guys 😀
I would like to share an incident happened in my college. Our college is very strict, that we cant even go out of the classroom block during the class hours. Our only hide out is ladies restroom. We, a set of 3 girls were chatting there, suddenly a staff entered. We don’t know what to do. Because if the staff takes it to the HOD, then they will call our parents and make it a big issue. One of my friend, out of fear, took the mop that was there nearby and started wiping the floor. On seeing this, the staff herself laughed and said please go to the class. This is something I cannot forget. Thought of sharing it with IMBBians
So this incident happened when I went to watch COCKTAIL with my friend. There was a guy sitting next to us and 2 of his friends were sitting in the upper row. Then the most interesting scene came, when deepika was wearing bikini and suddenly I don’t know what happened to this guy.Out of excitement he suddenly stood up and instead of choosing the normal way to the upper seat he tried to jump over to the upper row,but the bikini scene became unintersting because this guy’s leg was struck in the seat.We started laughing so hard(trust me I’m not a bully but I just couldn’t control) First he tried to show”Oh nothing’s wrong,I’ll manage” but in the very next moment he started yelling “oh god please somebody help me…mummy!! Help me,it’s paining. I hope it won’t cause a fracture”So then I thought there’s something serious so I said I’d just call somebody to help you but when I came back I saw his shoe under the chair and he was innocently sitting on the same seat. He was giving excuse”I did not want to disturb you people.” After break he finally went to his friends 😛
We again laughed and said OK. Though I missed Deeps in her bikini scene but for surely this was way more interesting 😀 😀
This it the most funniest thing that has happened in my childhood.
I stayed with my grandparents in my childhood.One day my grand mother woke me up early in the morning as we have start early to some place as we all are going to some wedding.She used to make bath powder for me with some grains and that day there was no power as it was raining heavily that day.So,in a hurry she confused with the garam masala powder tin to the bath powder tin.She started giving bath to me with the garam masala powder and I was crying but grand ma has beat me and completed the bath.I had severe rashes on my skin that day.
Me and my grand ma still laugh remembering this.
A Boy was deeply in LOVE with her classmate.
One day he proposed her.
But she got angry & refused.
One day that girl borrowed a book from him &
wrote a message: I LOVE YOU too, don’t leave me please…
But the Boy didn’t see that message. He never
talked to her.
2 years went…
Finally that girl committed suicide.
Moral :
.
.
.
KAM SE KAM SAAL ME 1 BAAR TO APNI BOOKS KHOL KAR DEKH LIYA KARO… 😀 😀
This incident happened during my summer holidays, relatives visited our house with cookies and some fried eatiers and had kept it on the dining table of our house . That day my mom had been for a evening walk and I was attending them, I never even thought the eatiers lying on the table was bought by them I instead thought it was kept by mom before going for the walk and I served the same to relatives. They were littele reluctent to have it and they offered me , me without a second thought told them that ‘No aunty, I have been eating this from morning, you plaese have it’ , later my mom came and they left after some time. Then my mom asked me had you bought the cookies, only then I gottu that it was bought by them , we both laughed so much and still my mon taunts me on this incident 😛
Hi Rati
First of all hearty congratulations to all of you on this great succes !!! Way to go… 🙂
This is an incident when I was hardly 2 yrs old. I call my Dad as Papa-sa-hukum as I am a rajput and we add “sa hukum” after the names to show the respect to the elder ones. My Dad never appreciated referring underwear as chaddhi :P. Once while I was way too young to actually understand the difference I told to my Dad, “Papasahukum chaddi pehna do, chaddi” and this made him very furious as he did not like it at all… After realizing that he is frowning I understood that I had said it wrong but did’nt know what was the correct one… So I quite innocently corrected myself saying “Sorry Papa-sa-hukum, chaddi-sa-hukum pehna do” 😛 😀 and everybody around bursted into laughter… My Dad still tells us this incident and laughs like hell upon my then common sense… 😛 😀
Satish got promotion.. So everyone was congratulating him!!
Satish: Thank u..
Raghu : Congrats
Satish: Thanks Man
Then Shwetha came der.
Shwetha: hey Satish 🙂
Satish: hi Shwetha
Shwetha: Congraaaaaats..U got promotion… So when ru going to give the treat..
Satish: ah..well..sure..sure…Anytime :)!!!
Shwetha: good…do u have my number?
Satish: hey nooo
Shwetha: give ur mobile… i ll give a msd call… Save it.
Satish gave his mobile to Shwetha..
Shwetha: yess….take it..will talk to u later..bye
When Shwetha left, Satish’s friend Kiran came der…
Kiran: hi dude… You both were exchanging mobiles also!!!! Wats d matter :p ???
Satish: hehe .. She gave her number … (expressing his happiness)
Kiran: Ok Ok… Give party for this also…
——–
At room 10.30 pm
Kiran: Wat da.. why ru looking at the mobile sooo nervously?
Satish: Her number … Am jst thinking wat msg I should send…
Satish typed the message
“hey Shwetha tis is Satish….”
Kiran: Arey Stoop!!! Wat is dis!!!
Satish: Wot Happen Dude???
Kiran: for the past one year u both were sitting side by side in Office.. Why do u fear to Propose?? This is the chance buddy..!!
Satish: No dude.. I have to speak a lot wid her.. I need to share so many personals wid her…
Kiran: Just listen … It took one year for you to have her number… U have to share personals, propose her, & she should accept.. Good.. O..!! By that time she will get married..!!
Satish: Then wat shud I do Mamu???
Kiran: Jst directly propose her 🙂
Satish: … Propose??? Nooooooo…
Kiran: Yes Satish… She may accept or reject… It’s better to see the result now itself…Don’t be late.. Just send her I Love You…
Satish: Ok …
Satish is typing the message…
“I”
Kiran: Wat man… Ur hands are shivering… Don’t Worry… Am der naa…!!!!”(Kiran began to sing a song teasing Satish)
Satish: Hey … Stop those stupid songs.. 🙁
Kiran: Ok Ok… You Continueee 🙂 !!!
Satish continued
“I LOV”
Kiran: type fastly
Satish continues..
“I LOVE YOU KIRAN”
Kiran: Stupid… Idiot… Stop… Wats dat typing!!!
Satish: oooosshh sorry Maga, I was in tension … Now I ll type correctly..
“I LOVE YOU SHWETHA”
Kiran: wait wait
Satish: Wat???
Kiran: Send her the message & keep the mobile aside!!! Lets see the reply tomorrow…
Satish: 🙁 🙁 🙁
Kiran: Stop!!! If she says No, then you will not let me sleep this night..!! I can’t bear that torture.. So just keep the mobile aside & sleep.. If its negative reply.. Then take lite 🙂
Satish: ok …
Within few seconds Satish messaged her, there was a message tone… A reply came to his mobile… But Satish din’t see the mobile…
Satish: we got a reply… Shall we see??
Kiran: Hey switch off the light & sleep.. Lets see dat tomorrow!!!
At 12 AM
Satish: Kiran!!!!
Kiran: Hey what??? (Wid ltl bit seriousness)
Satish: reply came know… Is der any chance that she accepts???
Kiran: yaa der is a chance 🙂
Satish: thanks U sleep..
AT 1 AM
Satish: mamu mamu…
Kiran: Reyyy… Watttt??? Why ru disturbing me like dis???
Satish: I ll jst see her reply daaa…
Kiran: Nooo!!! Then u ll be crying the whole night!!!..Keep quiet & sleep!!!
—-
AT 3.AM
Satish: Kiran
Kiran: what …Why ru killing me like dis??? 🙁 🙁
Satish: Mamu Ru sleeping???
Kiran: Idiot!!!.. Ur the first one to wake up a person who is sleeping and asking him whether he is sleeping …Rey… Idiot.. Waste Fellow.. Don’t u have concern on me..!! Go & sleep!!! Tomorrow I need to wake up early… :(:(:(
——–
At 4.AM
Satish: Maga its 4 Am ..This is morning naaaa… Can I read the message???
Kiran: Pls satish lemme sleep :(:(:(
Satish: I am not getting sleep raa
Kiran: Close ur eyes… :@ U ll get sleep…
—–
AT 6 AM
——-
Satish: mamu mamu… Its 6 Am
Kiran: Murgi Chor!!! If I know that you ll be torturing me like dis, then I wud not told you to see the reply tomorrow.. … Go & Sleep man… Plzzzz!!!!
Satish: No I should read that message now…
Kiran: shabba Ok.. Go.. GO & See.. (Kiran was ltl bit serious)
Satish opened the message very excitingly & with the same force, he fell down with Shock…
Kiran: Rey… Wat happened… Wat happened!!!
Satish didn’t say a single word….
Kiran: He might have died with happiness…. I too should see her reply!!!
Kiran saw the message in Satish’s mobile… Even Kiran was shocked… The message was…!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“YOUR MOBILE BALANCE IS VERY LOW. MESSAGE CANNOT BE DELIVERED”
Oh my godddddddd
2 lack fans !!! This is so awesome ! 😀 😀 😀
Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
There are times when I really miss the crazy smileys 😛
when I was child I used to be afraid to show my parents 🙂
Years passed by……..
now my parents are afraid to see it 😉
I love their improvement……
Congrats IMBB
Judge: Apke pas kya saboot hai ki aap gaadi dheere chala rahe the?
Man: judge sahab main apni biwi ko lene sasural ja rha tha…:p
height of torture:
Boy: mera sir dukh raha hai, mood bhi kharab hai, main bahut tensed hu.
Girlfriend: hmm, accha wo sab chhodo dekho meri nayi chappal :p
Santa to his father- Bapu ajj Mc’Donalds chaliye?
Father- ik var McDonald’s de spelling te suna?
Santa (After thinking a while): Chaad bapu KFC he chalde aa…..
Wife came home late after a kitty party. She dint wanted to wake her husband so she undressed and tiptoed to the room naked. Suddenly the husband got up and said, “Sab haar gayi??!!” 😀
i think i am late for this…but once me,3 of my cousins were enjoying a muvi(i think darr). my mum and one of my aunts were lying on the floor.there were many lizards crawling on the wall(:'(…i just hate them)..my brother had the craziest habit of collecting those plastic insects which we used to get with the pack of Rasna.
two of the lizards started a fight an fell on the floor,,my mum and aunt jumped like kangaroos..it is fun watching others doing that:P…after some time when everything was normal and my mum and aunt were enjoying their talks(chugliyas)..a lizard fell exactly in middle of them!!!..this time the looked more like orangutans…the lizard didn’t move..my brother got down from his bed and picked that lizard!!!it was the platic one!!!!
A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, Is God a man or a woman?”
“Both son. God is both.”
After a while the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?”
“Both son, both.”
The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, Is Michael Jackson a God?”
My comments under moderation…
Pls rescue
congrats imbb.
1. Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : Bad.
Interviewer : Come.
Sardar : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichlli.
Interviewer : U G L Y?
Sardar : PICHLLY !!!!!!!
Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
Sardar : I am Selected. balle balle.
2.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me!” That’s Direct Marketing.
You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, “He’s very rich. Marry him.” That’s Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.” That’s Telemarketing.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I’m rich. Marry me” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That’s Customer Feedback.
hi friends, all is well…. i like this thread very much becoz each word i type i remembr my golden days of chilhood, college days… well in each and everyone of lifesomething funny would hav happened. I will share mine… i was a microbiology student in one college at bangalore. Once our college had arranged blood donation camp. I always wanted to donate my blood once atleast in my life. So with full enthusiasm i went to the place where the camp was put up with my friend. We were standing in queue. When it was my turn..the doctor saw me and stared at me. I was wondering wat happened to him. he looked at me from top to bottom and asked me,”why have you come here?”. I replied, “Sir I have come to donate my blood.” He shouted,”what?”. i was taken aback. He told, you seem to be so weak & thin, that i need to give you a bottle of blood, instaead of taking from youuuuu!!!!!!!!!!:-P
every one laughhed…. ofcourse i was too thin that time…..ha ha even now i think and enjoy…:-D..
Funniest joke ever – “A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.” 😀
Moderation:(
Huhahahaha :P:P:)
This incident took place a few months back.In fact this is a series of funny incidents. LOL 😀
I had planned to meet an old friend of mine for lunch at a mall. As per the plan,we met t the decided place and were having a good time. During the meal, a guy in his early twenties approached our table and addressed me,’ Sorry to disturb you ,but we friends were playing truth-or-dare and I’ve been given a dare to ask your name. So,if you don’t mind can I please know your name?’ I looked across the room and saw 3 guys seated on a table ,not far from our table,smiling towards us. So just to play along , I answered,’I’m Basanti.’ He thanked me and went back to his table. Me and my friend had a hearty laugh as ‘Basanti’ was ofcourse not my real name 😛 😀 We finished our lunch and left. I had to go shopping,so I was walking towards a counter,when I heard someone;s frantic calls as ‘Hey basanti! Hey Basanti wait.Hey Red-Bag wait.Listen’ I looked back and saw the same guy who had asked me my name was coming towards me. I was in no mood to talk to a stranger. I supposed he was just trying to get friendly or something,so I continued walking and ignored him. I thought he would get a clue and stop following me. So I quickened my pace and continued walking. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked and found the same guy again. I was really angry on him now,so I literally screamed ‘whats your problem? Why are you following me? Again if you follow me I’ll call the police’ Saying so ,I had just turned that I heard him say: ‘How will you call? you left your cell phone in the restaurant’ When I looked at him,he was holding my cell-phone,which I had accidentally left in the restaurant where I was having my lunch. I was so confused and dint know what to answer. He handed me my phone and I could barely whisper a Thank-You mixed with a Sorry 🙂
He then replied:’ No problem. you are welcome. By the way,if you dont mind,can I know your real name Basanti? 😛 ‘
I smiled sheepishly and then told him my real name. Thanking him again,I left, still smiling stupidly at the incident 😀
my comments under moderation…
Someone rescue
One day in morning wee hours me and my frnd where travelling to college. Our college bus driver was a nice person. Students were getting in very slowly into the bus. Driver was shouting in tamil to them to get in fast. Driver in his known broken english was saying “close the door” continuously. But no one closed , so he did not move the bus. One naughty boy said to the driver in his language without respect to take the bus. The driver got irritated and suddenly stopped telling “close the door” and said “close your mouth” to that boy. The whole crowd laughed for his rhyming words. The boy though felt embarrased and started laughing himself..
First of all heartiest congratulations to IMBB – there are scores of beauty blogs that i visit, but when I have time to check only one website, it’s always IMBB – the variety, frequency and quality of reviews assure that I never get bored!
Can’t miss this giveaway! Now for the funny incident in my life:
I was in 9th standard – in the tuition class, Mam asked the unit for electric charge. Goodness knows from where, but I blurted out Condom instead of Coulomb! She just gasped and then laughed – I didn’t know what exactly a condom meant then, but I knew it was something ‘bad’, something ‘dirty’. Seeing her expression, I just froze. Then somehow I realized my blunder and corrected it by saying ‘coulomb’! Now when I think of it, I just get too embarrased for words!
hello every1 m new to imbb but juss love it, nd congo on the new milestone
This incident happend during my Graduation 1st year, i was seated in auto nd waitin for my friend hu wanted to hav cornetto icecream very badly, she got it nd den she was holdin it nd came towards ryt side of auto, she looked as if statue of libertyy she passed the left side nd didnt reach the ryt side nd to my shock she fell down on her face, instead of helpin her i cdnt stop laughin enuf, got embarressed infront of all, sat in auto, lately i was tensed coz her knee was bleedin badly so jus for first aid v entered dominos pizza v got first aid, and pizza also ofcourse 😀
Second incident is also around pizza :p
Here it goes, me my mom nd my small sis had gone shoppin, i jus entered pizza hut nd made a take away order, nd i left pizza hut as to continue shoppin nd will pick pizza later, when i left pizza hut my sis was followin me donno whr her mind was, she came nd hit the transparent glass wall, lol nd she fell down, all ppl got us surrounded nd to ths day pizza hut workers smile at us wen thy see my small sis :):) such incident r needed to tease ur small siblings life long
The most funniest thing is just not happened but also happening uptil now is dat…i Really dont know how to completely operate…Facebook…why everytym i just mistype my email n password..:-P:-D
boy: tute huye dil naal pyaar karegi ya fir dil tutan tak?
gal:tuti hui jutti naal pitega ya jutti tutan tak….
wife: i hate tht beggar!
husband: why?
wife: bloody rascal,yest i gave him food to eat and today he gifted me a book.” how to cook”. 🙂
in haryana:
teacher:hanuman kiska chora tha?
student: jaat ka
teacher:wo kaise?
student: unke kaam hi aise the “ladai kisi ki,lugai kisi ki,poonch apni fukwa di”..:p
sardar nyi car laya
dost bola:yar ispe kuchh aisa likwa ki pta chale sardar ki car hai,
sardar ne likhwaya “darwaza bahar ki taraf khulta hai”…:) :p
It was the day of the big sale.
Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses.
On the man’s second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again.
As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line…
“That does it!
If they hit me one more time, I don’t open the store!”
A man went into a shoe repair store in his hometown that he had not been in for almost twenty years. He found everything just the way he remembered it. He went up to the counter and asked the man about a pair of shoes that he had left there for heel repair almost 20 years ago.”One minute. I’ll check,” replied the man.A few minutes later, the repairman came back.”Well…” said the man,”They’ll be ready Tuesday.”
Once upon a time there was a small girl who loved SWEETS… She grew up from a child to a teenager and then a young lady eating all kind of sweets.. After she completed her Bachelors degree, she decided to leave home for her Masters degree, in search of more knowledge.. She thus paved way for herself to become independent and self sufficient.. As she joined the University, she gained new friends.. She was happy with her life in the University and in her HOSTEL.. But ALAS!!!!! Her beloved sweets were far from her regular reach now.. She only got to have a taste of them once or twice a week, that too the number was limited to ONE!!! Poor being could not sleep properly the nights when she yearned for a small bit of SOME sweet..
One night, as she entered the Mess area for dinner, she was elated.. There they were!!!! Her favourite bits of soft, juicy, yummy, hot GULAB JAMUNs!! But to her dismay, in a tiny li’l bowl ,she was served her only destined piece.. She put the piece in her mouth after she was done with her bit of RAJMA CHAWAL and it softly melted down.. She wanted to have one more but it was something impossible, each girl was served one single sweet each week and it would be unfair to ask anybody for her share of the sumptuous little thing; she was heart broken but didn’t lose hope.. She was determined that she would go to any extent to have another one… She walked up to the buffet spread, loosened her clips, let down her hair and covered her face with them.. She took up a plate and placed a bowl of Rajma on it, took another Roti and queued up for a second time.. Her friends (biting their nails) kept staring, they were unsure if this would work, she would never ever succeed in fooling the Mess workers…………………………………………………………………… Then it came, in a small transparent bowl another tender piece… The strict serving hand, disgusted with the opened hair and weird behaviour, overlooked who was standing and put forth the delicious li’l thing on her plate.. & Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy.. She WON her battle of LOVE, HER LOVE FOR SWEETS.. She walked up the stairs with joy, she was sure to have a great night’s sleep ahead!!
And well the girl was me!!! 😀
congratulation imbb 😀 😀 many more milestones are awaiting and many more giveaways 😛 are waiting for us..
a funny incident i remember is…. one of my friend named Siddhartha (is very particular about his face, skin, appearance which i really envy) had really bad pimples once and one day he complained to us verryyy sadly 🙁 and wanted suggestions from me just and to make his mood better i asked him to use chili paste only in the affected areas 😛 and we all said that this paste is just great and helped many of us to get rid of pimples and he actually trusted us 😛 and you will not believe he did that and jumped frantically in the whole house and the next day he abused us like hell and we all rolled laughing 😀 😀 he is the sweetest friend of mine.
i want to state another incident of sid. Siddhartha’s sister is a great capry lover and sid always gets frantic saying again sister bought a knew capry n all(then,he even dint know capry is a ladies wear thing :P).. during a shopping time with all of us in spykar, he went to the counter and said to show him capry of his size 😀 😛 the male SA seriously said men logo ka capry nehi hota hein sir 😀 and we all laughed like hell and till our face turned red… sid is always there to create entertainment…:P i wil never forget the capry incident and the male SA in my life 😀 🙂
Hi all,
First of all Congrats guys… An amazing blog and amazing work by you all …
I have recently started reading the IMBB Blog and am already hooked to it 🙂
So much that I myself feel like writing for it…
But between two kids , a 3 year old and an 11 month old, I doubt I’ll get the time anytime soon…
As for the contest , this is an incident that occurred 3 years back when I was teaching in a school…
(I am an M.A B.Ed and used to teach English and Hist/Civics to senior classes. I left when I was expecting my first child)
Well…
We normally give out worksheets once a chapter is over to the students and I was to prepare a worksheet on Articles/Determiners for std.VI.
I was going through various books to make a worksheet and had to choose between the paragraph type worksheet or one with deifferent sentences. The paragraph one was about fruits with blanks for articles but I chose to make one with different sentences.
So I made the worksheet and next day handed it over to my H.O.D for proof reading.
I was taking a class when one of my colleagues came with the worksheet and asked me , ‘ what were you thinking while making this worksheet ?’ I gave her a baffled look.
She then showed me my worksheet and told me to read the question.
Well… The question should have been ‘Read the sentences given below and inserts articles where ever necessary’ . Instead the question read ‘ Read the sentences given below and insert ‘oranges’ where ever necessary! ‘
took me quite an effort to hold back my laughter and during the remaining class I would keep thinking about it with an extremely embarrassed look on my face and all the students wanted to know ‘ma’am what happened?’ !
And needless to say it was the talk of the staff room for quite a number of days!
Girl- Today i was cooking chicken, when i
added HARA DHANIYA , guess what
happened.
Boy – Pata nahi, tum batao
Girl- Chicken start dancing and singing
“ HUM PE YE KISNE HARA RANG DAALA…
MAAR DAALA-ALLAAHH
moderation 🙁 🙁 help 😛
Loads of love and Congrats to Team IMBB 🙂 lot more in store for the lovely people am sure
Here’s the joke:
Dost: Aaj Karwachauth hai, Biwi se Jhagda Solve
hua kya?
Santa: Haan Ghutno pe Chal ke Aayi thi Mere
Paas.
Dost: Bahut achche, Kya Boli?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa: Boli Palang ke Neeche se Nikal Aao, Aaj
Nahi Marungi 😛
abhi tak comment moderation… wat i did?? 🙁
its goes like….
plz dont drink water after eating fish….bcoz…fish starts to swim in water which causes “giligili” in stomach………:)
My nephew is 2.5 years old and trying to speak slowly. He lives abroad and had a visit to India recently. We traveled in a auto rickshaw to a nearby place along with him. Once we reached the place, everyone got down from the auto rickshaw and my sister in law and nephew was still inside the auto and she was paying the driver.
My nephew instantly noticed everyone got one and immediately screamed “Help! Help! Help!”
We were startled by using this word and his presence of mind that too inside the auto rickshaw. The driver and everyone laughed heavily by this little one screaming for help when the whole family is around. :-))
And another day, he again screamed for help but in a taxi ..
Congratulations Rati and Sanjeev!!!
Lots of funny stuff in my life. 😉
This happened when i was in college and was on monthly budget. I love watching movies and any friend i was about to meet my first plan wud be to go for a movie and spend almost all my pocket money on movies. Having said these, One dear friend of mine who understood my craze for movies told me that at PVR, Forum mall morning show s at 10:00 am is only 60/-. So I made a plan with him for next day and decided to meet around 9. I am never late for movies infact i reached little early than 9 and sat out as they have nt even opened the mall. 🙂 My friend came close to 10, we went in bought tickets and thought we ll quickly grab sumthing to eat as e both were hungry. By the time we got our stuff and went inside lights were off and ads were playing on the screen. We found our row and our seats were in the middle of the row and there were people already sitting at the aisle seats. They gave us some place to walk to our seats and while i was walking i was staring at the screen. I was so engrossed in watching forgot i was carrying stuff in my hands, lost my balance and fell on to the seat. I was checking whether i spillt anything on my dress, I heard my friend screaming “get up Divs, get up”. then i realized i was sitting on the lap of some guy and everybody around are laughing. And there i was, instead of getting up from there i too started laughing loud for atleast a minute and this guy comes closer to me and asks “Do you wanna get up now or you wanna sit for some more time”. I quickly got up said sorry and we went and sat in our seats. Though he didnt repeat the incident to anyone, we always have a hearty laugh when we plan for a movie. 😀
P.S:- Sorry for long narration..very bad at writing.:-(
A witty one..:-)
An uncle asks a girl who is drinking..Sharam nai aati!! ladki hoke drink kar rahi ho?.
Ladki: Abhi kya, do peg keliye gender change karlu kya..:-P
Read somewhere and decided to share
If flipcart starts Matrimonial services they
will become No.1 site…
Know why??
Because they have 30 days Return Policy.
Congrats Rati!
This was when I was in Engg College. On the last day of our Semester exam, we girls ( grp of 6) decided to go 4 a movie.. We booked the tickets for ‘Titanic’. As usual we all took a long time to meet at a common place… Luckily the movie got delayed by an hour and we were happy that we didnt miss it… So the movie started at 4 in the evening., there were ads that started of spme movie.. With Anil Kapoor, Raveena Tandon and Kader Khan… Went on 4 abt 10 mins… We waited patiently for cute Leonardo and Kate to come.. Slowly it dawned that they wouldnt be coming… WE WERE IN THE WRONG THEATRE! With some stupid movie running … 🙁 By the time ut ended, all of us had headaches… The incident was so stupid that we didnt disclose it to neone.. We still have a hearty laugh thinking abt it now:)
A guy was walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well.
He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming. He panicked and started to pray, “God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I’ll stop drinking!”
Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was getting closer!
He prayed again, “God, please get my foot out and I’ll stop drinking and cursing!”
Still nothing ….. and the train was just seconds away!
He tried it one more time, “God please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I’ll quit drinking, cursing, smoking and flirt with all the women I meet.”
Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he was able to dive out of the way, just as the train passed!
He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said, “Thanks anyway God, I got it out myself.”
This incident took place a few years back when I was in Kolkata shopping for my wedding attire. We had only two more days left when my fiance called me up and said “Tomorrow one of my friend’s is going to kolkata and I am sending something special for you. just go and meet him at the airport and he will give you the parcel”
I was super excited and the next day with my two cousins I went to the airport to greet his friend. He arrived promptly and gave me a carry bag with a broad smile and said this is for you. I couldn’t resist and opened the bag to find two extra large packs of UNCLE CHIPSSS
My cousins looked at me and started laughing like morons. Then I realised the date was 1st April.
Till this date my hubby keeps teasing with “I Love Uncle Chips “
G8 Stuff written by all.I m sure all must had good time pre n post writing it as had brought a recap of the whole incident live again ….like all i too had to select the best of all kachara moment.It started wit a fresh day in my New office …i had a strict neighbour colleague who’s presence always came wit sheer bad luck to me .On tat particular day i promised i wud b aloop to her forever,as the morning tea session in office passed by a senior officer was taking round in our floor he had a Terrible Problem of sneezing n running nose …….ever1 nicknamed him “Vaccum cleaner” for it …..the moment he was at my cabin my fussy colleague stared laughing as an actual vaccum cleaner n him ver making there noise ….i had to control myself as he was standing just front of me( worst situation )…….as the volume lowere of actual she made a nasty remark”Yucks” which fell on his ears …….. i had a pretty bad timg by raisng my head on tat pretty moment …..as a true LIP synching ………….i had to glob down his thosand expression face………i hope he is not writting his embarassing cum funny moment for this contest ……….Guess wat the same colleague is my BFF n the senior got his medication done …now he is a silencer n avoids me ……..( i miss his running nose though i guess )
something funny happened today, thought i’d share it here, seeing so many funny incidents posted here 🙂
Today in our hostel ka mess, we were discussing about racism, and I was arguing how Indians are one of the most racist people, and not others. We have stuffed naan today (one of the rare good food in our mess….but I am digressing) and my friend who was arguing against me, took the ‘maida’ naan (we have ‘atta’ and ‘maida’ naan) as it came., and I suddenly said, “see you’re so racist you prefer the white naan instead of the coloured one!” and everyone started laughing….(yeah agreed somewhat geeky joke, but that’s what college does to you I suppose. (I was pleased that nobody found a counter-argument for that!!))
Boy1:Meet my wife Tina
Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1:How?
Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy1:What the hell?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy2.during lecture in history class
At Dinner Little Jhonny Was Ordered To Lead In Prayer.
Little Jhonny: “But I Dont Know How To Pray?”
Dad: “Just Pray For Your Family Members, Friends And Neighbours, The Poor, Etc”
Little Jhonny Started The Prayer:
Dear Lord, Thank You For Our Visitors And Their Children, Who Finished All My Cookies And Ice Cream. Bless Them So They Wont Come Again.
Forgive Our Neighbor’s Son, Who Removed My Sister’s Clothes And Wrestled With Her On Her Bed.
This Coming Christmas, Please Send Clothes To All Those Poor Na*ed Ladies On My Daddy’s Iphone
And Provide Shelter For The Homeless Men Who Use Mom’s Room When Daddy Is At Work.
Amen
Dinner Was Cancelled.
A man moves into a nu*ist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.
Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nu*ist colony, he cuts a photo in half, but accidentally sends her the bottom half of the picture.
He is really worried when he realizes that he has sent the wrong half. But then he remembers how bad his grandmother’s eyesight is and hopes she won’t notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says:
“Thank you for the picture. You should change your hair style… it makes your nose look too short
I read it somewhere and really laughed a alot….
Entry to Heaven
“If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday School class.
“NO!” the children all answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”
Again, the answer was, “NO!
“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, “NO!”
“Well,” I continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!”
i started cooking when i got married. i used to update my husband now and then about my progress. few months after our marriage we were in a nuclear family, when i started to cook on day1 i was totally confused what to do, so i opened the page on internet which teaches how to cook rice in the open container…. as soon as my husband saw this he started laughing. even now he used to make fun of me when i make rice in cooker. and says make rice in open container not in cooker 😛
this happened a while ago, some little girls came to my house, my bro who was still a bit sleepy as he had just woken up opened the door they asked “saras di hai?” my bro heard sardi (cold) instead of saras di and said “pagal ho itni to garmi ho rahi hai” (are you mad it is so hot) we all started laughing 🙂
Santa & Banta got tired using mobile cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send sweet messages. And this plan worked very fine.
One day Santa sends his pigeon.
Banta sees, the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any sweet message.
Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.
Angry boss: Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?
Employee: (sar jhuka ke) Nahi sir
Boss: Neeche kya dekh rahe ho? Meri taraf dekho
The Funniest matrimonial proposal i ever received. I laughed my guts out when i read. I m sure u wud too 😀
Hi Hello Namaste
Just wanted to write a mail to introduce myself ,
Let me start by writing a . Bio-data what so ever
“”” Well i am a male to me precise , aged 27 years 1 month and 27 days
old today, an Aquarian in fact ………. very typical. And i stand
168 cm tall !!!
Well about my skin color, i just discovered that fair and handsome
fairness cream does not work and on the other hand you can see me in
the evening so am not pitch dark either , so i leave it to your
creative imagination my skin color.
About my eyes , brown , world looks better with my glasses on and the
world i know also has the same opinion about me ( right -0.5 and left
-0.75 )
Education ,Schooling happened in — Public school , no idea
what was i doing till 10th grade, i was like”” one taare zameen par “”
, later i got a bit serious as the world had great expectations from
me …… wanted to be a doctor so took biology too seriously till i
discovered that mugging up was not my trait , i like logic ……..
took up Engineering in –_College) ……… so
this engineering life some how started , was a good
student FCD all long , went in paragon hawai chappali to my job
interview and came out with a offer letter, ( i had still not started
shaving ) , ….joined job…. …. did non sense work
for 1.5 yrs …. got bored…. i always wanted to study further …..
all my friends went to USA via frankfurt for MS ……… well i just
got down there ……… when to — University
and ya got a job in networks R&D;as RF design
Engineer , i like my job at last !!!
The only thing A+ is my blood group ……….. don’t try to find it
in my marks card ……. but you can …. B+
A bit about my family ……..intellectually more close to my mom than
dad , in humor more close to dad than mom , a big bathroom singer am i
as my dad …….. my elder brother) and
me are two opposite characters but well complimented …… he
is also a MSc in Microbiology and is an Assitant Manager is
Miller ……… they make beer ….. he is a taster and
in quality , (“No” we are not a family of booozers or drinkers, that’s
his job for god sake bread and butter ) , but i drink socially , i
drink only beer 1 glass in 2hrs ….. if you want to call it drinking
…. i don’t smoke but have tried it …….. drugs not tried till
date …no plans also !!!
My Dad is Retried Manager of – Bank ,
Mom is a home maker and a local social worker respected in the
locality for her work …… she is involved in managing a door to
door garbage collection and segregation an NGO basically run by a
retired Brigadier (“No” she does not collect garbage we have people to
do that , she audits, motivates and makes sure the show is running
smoothly). We have a German shepherd dog , very well behaved actually
its has more sense that me sometimes……….. may be that’s
the reason we don’t get along lolz (am allergic to dog fur).
I current hobbies are swimming swimming and swimming (L – board)!!!! I
am a very good super duper self proclaimed egomaniac lazy chef ( dare
you call me a bawarchi ) . I am sensitive , humorous , if am serious for 3 or more days i need a
doctor , i like to make friends , i like my freedom and also give
people their freedom. I have my bit of Ego and pride ,am a bit
confused with the two, I hide my feelings, if i go silent that means
am annoyed. Sometimes i like to be alone.
By the way you might have had a fair image of me right now ,
If interested do let me know !!!
Thank you for your patience!!!!
7 True Facts About Girls
1. Most Important Thing For Girls Is FINANCIAL SECURITY !
2. Although This Is Important, They Still Go Out & Buy Expensive Clothes !
3. Although They Always Buy Expensive Clothes, they Never Have Anything Good To Wear !
4. Although They Never Have Anything Good To Wear, They Always Dress Beautifully !
5. Although They Always Dress Beautifully, They Are Never Satisfied !
6. Although They Are Never Satisfied, They Still Expect People To Compliment Them !
7. Although They Expect People To Compliment Them, When They Do, They Don’t Believe People!! 😀
“Daddy, I’d like to help and old man. Can I have some money? A rupee maybe two?
“Well done my son! That is a very nice gesture! Here’s 5 bucks. Now where is that poor man?”
“He’s down the street selling ice cream!”
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says “no, let me see the next room.” In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, “I pick this room.” Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, “O.K., coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!”
I would like to share one funny incident.
Sum years back,we had a family outing to Vrindavan.
And the priests dere force you to shell out money stating stupid rituals, etc.
So my DAD had got rly tired of shelling out money at each foot step!.
So den we went to dis temple, whr my mom n maasi were standing towards the front..n the preist started chanting sum MAntras.., gave sum sort of SUHAAG ki nishani(a token of being married) to both my mom and MAASI(aunt)and asked for dakshina.
ANd my dad gave him sum money and said “HUm saath main hai”..wen he replied..dat dis SPell was for SUHAAG (ur groom)(ofcourse he wanted extra bucks!!)…and my dad was rly UNineterstd in listein to wateva lame the preist said..n jus unknowingly said..HAAN WO BHI EK HI HAI!!
n me , my mom ,,n maasi,….we jus cudnt help ..and burst with laughter!!
N yup my dad made sure not to shell extra money even if dr were different SUHAAGs concerened..:p!
Ek baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot) Ud raha tha full speed par.
Uske saamne achanak full speed mein ek Ferrari aa rahi thi, dono ki takkar hui…
Totaa behosh hoga ya, raste mein ek bhikari tha usne Totaa ko uthaya aur ghar le gaya.
Usko marham lagaya aur pinjare mein rakh diya.
Jab Totaa ko hosh aaya, usne apne aap ko pinjare mein dekha.
Aur bola, “Aalia … JAIL …. Woh Ferrari ka driver mar gaya kya ??
I was having dinner with Vishwanathan Anand and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend.
They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they’re just lying there, the phone rings.
Since it’s the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:
“Hello? Oh, hi… I’m so glad that you called… Really? That’s wonderful…. Well, I’m happy
to hear you’re having such a great time… Oh, that sounds terrific… Thanks. Okay. Bye bye.”
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, “Who was that?”
“Oh” she replies, “That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with you.”
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this
money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago”, the homeless woman told me.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” I asked.
“No, I don’t waste time shopping,” the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” I asked.
“Are you NUTS !” replied the homeless woman. ” I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”
“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.”
The homeless woman was shocked. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
I said, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.”
Uss din dosti se bharosa uth gaya mera..jab apne hi dost Ne classroom mei keh diya……
PADHNE DE YAAR 😀
Girls Ki shopping!!
Lena kuch nahi hota
Ye dekho!
Wo dekho!
Ye kya hai!
Wo kya hai!
5 ghante lagaati hai…
Fir golgappe kha ke wapis aa jati hai 😀
height of facebook addiction:
A boy’s fb status- ‘ i m onlyn on fb during lecture’.
comment 4m his professor- ‘get out of the class’
Dean liked the comment.
frns commented- ‘jaldi cafe aa ja, mahol ekdun fit hai’
mom commented- ‘NALAIK, class ni karni to sabzi le kar seedha ghar aa’
dad commented- ‘dekhlo apne bete ki harkate’
gf commented- ‘i hate u, mujhse kaha dadi hospital me hai, mil ni sakte the.’
daadi commented- ‘MANHUS. ghar aa, abhi tujhe batati hu’ !!!
Once I was in a big resturant bathroom at a public place, and came out of the it to wash my hands after dinner in the washarea. As I came up to the sink a boy was washing his hands in the sink right next to me. he looked in the mirror at himself and said “hey darling, how are you?” I glanced at him, “Im fine, how are you?” he turned and looked at me and gave me a irritated look, then he looked back down at her hands. “So how is your job?” I looked at him wondering if I knew him or if he knew me..I couldn’t recall him. So I answered back “it’s fine? hey Do I know you?” he gave me a confused weird look and walked over .. then I just noticed she had a Bluetooth in her ear. he was talking to his girlfriend on phone and walked away as he quickly left the place as he was afraid of me thinking i am some stranger trying to know his personal details and propose him. I just looked in the mirror and couldn’t help but laugh..very hard. Then someone walked out of the same bathroom looking at me like I was crazy and mad, standing there laughing at me.he was noticing everything. I felt very embarassed and left quickly. i was running like a mad ninja to home.after reaching home told everyone about it and we were rolling on the floor and laughing. i didnt knew what to tell “poor guy” or” poor me ” eh??
MEN WILL ALWAZ BE MEN:
Once a group of men went to a devoutional journey…….
Their guru said,”dont get distracted if u c a beautiful girl……………………………..jst close ur eyes nd say “HARI OM”………”
two days later one of them said “HARI OM”
and everyones reaction was
“WHERE??????????”
A man sits in a bar just staring at his drink for about twenty minutes. A big guy
comes up to him, takes his drink and drinks it down in one. The man starts to cry.
The big guy tells him not to cry as he was only messing about and offers to
replace his drink. “That’s not the problem” said the man “What a day I have had. Started off, the alarm didn’t go off so I was late for work and got sacked. Going back to my car, it wasn’t there – someone had nicked it . When I got home, I realised that I must have dropped my wallet on the bus – all my money – gone. I then go upstairs to
find a note from my wife on the bed saying that she’s left me. And, just when I
think about killing myself, you come along and drink my cyanide.
“I like wearing glasses. I remove them dramatically to display anger. It was awkward doing that with contact lenses.”
A man goes into a bar with his dog and bets the barman £50 that the dog can
answer his question. So the man says “what do you call the top of a building”? The
dog replies “roof”. The barman says “I’m not paying for that” so the man says
“Okay double or nothing” and asks the dog “Who is the best baseball player of all
time” The dog replies “Ruth”. “That’s enough “says the barman who picks them
both up and throws them out of the bar. As they hit the ground, the dog turns to his
owner and says “or maybe DiMaggio”.
i submitted a funny incident yesterday but cannot view it still. can anyone tell me why?
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand…nothing. So, I tried with my left hand…nothing. My wife tried with her right hand…nothing. Her left hand…nothing. Her mouth…nothing. Then my wife’s friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth….still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife’s friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn’t get the lid off of the specimen cup.
World’s Smallest resignation letter?
Respected sir,
I luv ur wife.
Pappu k dad ne pappu ko ek toy train
kharid kr di.
pappu us toy train se khelte huye kehne
laga: jis ullu k patthe ko utrna h utar jaye,
jis ullu k patthe ko chadna h chad jaye, rail
gaadi 2 min se jyada nhi rukegi 😛
bacche k muh se ye bhasha sun kr pappu k
dad ko gussa aa gya usne pappu k gaal pe
thappad laga diya or bole: me 2 hrs k liye
bazar ja rha hu, tab tak tum sirf padai krna.
toy train k hath b mat lagana.
2 hrs bad jab wo wapas aaye to pappu ko
padte huye paya ye dekh kr unka dil pighal
gya or pappu ko fir se toy train se khelne
ki ijazat de di.
pappu fir se toy train se khelte huye
kehne laga : jis ullu k patthe ko utrna h
utar jaye, jis ullu k patthe ko chadna h chad
jaye,
rail gaadi pehle hi ek ullu k patthe ki wajah
se 2 ghante late ho chuki h 😛 😛 😛
I hope I can post more than one. (Btw I am eyeing for the 2nd prize ;))(Had to research lot before posting lol)
1. I was the presiding over the organising committee for college IV. But in fourth year we are not suppose to. So naturally in fourth year girls used to come to me for suggestions for a short picnic of sorts(everyone was getting nostalgic about their last engineering year.) One of my friend suggested a place for one night out and I approved it but informing that she has to ask the entire class. She posted a poll on our facebook group. Here is how it read-“I have come up with this place ‘x’. Who all are in for a one night stand?”
I dont have to mention the various comments she got as it got very embarrassing for her(thank god it was a girl’s college). We had a real laugh later with lots of rofls…..
2. This is a joke I had heard when junior bachchan got married-
Its first night for Aishwarya and Abhishek. The next day Aishwarya gets up and goes to Amitabh gives him a chocolate and says, “Pappu pass ho gaya”
3. A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night’s special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. “The chicken sounds good; I’ll have that,” the woman says. The waiter nods. “And the vegetable?” he asks. “Oh, he’ll have the fish,” she replies.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Yuck, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the back of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ”Shut up…you’re next!”
A couple were in their 60’s..
A fairy came and granted them both a wish…
Wife : I want to travel around
the world with my husband..
2 tickets for cruise appear in her hand,!
Husband : Sorry love !
but my wish is to have a wife 30
yrs younger than me..
Fairy waved her hand and
husband turned 92yrs.
Moral :- men who r ungrateful idiots,
shud remember
that fairies are females…!
hey rati di….
i will tell you a funny incident that happened with me…i was travelling in a rickshaw…i had to tell the rickshaw driver to take left turn…i thought so hard to decide what do you call left in hindi…then i told the driver “bhaiya ji baaye modna”…he said: “beta left ya right”
i was so stunned and shocked the very moment :p
One girl went to a electronic shop with anger and
threw her new laptop on the desk at a person from
whom he bought.
She told the salesman that you
have cheated
me.
I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop..
Salesman : Madam, can you please try infront of me.
This is what She did,
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which she
wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected into the
other PC where she wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE
option.
.
.
Salesman DIED=))
Congrats to IMBB team,for the achievement !! you people deserve ..
and coming to the joke..one fine day me and my grand mother ,we both are watching news channel in TV,its the news about collectors meeting with the CM
My grand ma : whose position is big collector/CM
me : CM
Grand ma : then y everyone tell kids u have to become collector but not CM
me: ?????
Its really a funny incident,i can’t even answer the question..any ways OLD IS GOLD..they are sharper than us..;)
P.S : pls tell me the answer and help me gurls..
An American Family-
Youngest Son: Dad, whats d diff btwn ‘hypothetically’ & ‘reality’?
Dad turns to wife: Would u sleep with Tom cruis for 1 million?
Wife: Of course! I would never waste such an opportunity.
Then Dad asks daughter: Would u sleep with Tom cruis for 1 Million?
Daughter: Yes He s my fantasy!
Dad asks elder son: Would u sleep with, Tom cruis for 1 million?
Elder Son: Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money!
Father turns to his younger son: You see son, ‘Hypothetically’ we r sitting wid 3 millionaires,
but in ‘Reality’ we r living wid 2 prostitutes & 1 gay Bastard!!!!i.:-):-)
Killing English
Teacher In A Furious Mood…
WriteDown Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!
Tomorrow Call Ur Parents EspeciallyMother And Father
“Why Are You Looking At The MonkeysOutside When I Am In The Class?!”
“KeepQuiet, The Principal Has Passed Away”
A Huge Congratulations to Team IMBB for achieving 2 Lakh followers. U guys deserve much more…
The Goodies look amazing and thanks for sharing them …
Anyways as Diwali is approaching, I thought I will share a Diwali joke…
A mom asked her elder kid to explain Diwali to his younger brother…
He replied:
” So luk, this dude Ram had like a big kingdom & people liked him but, like his step mom or sumthing,was kinda bitch and she forced her hubby to send this Ram to sum jungle or sumthing…
Coz he was goin for 14 yrs, so his wife and bro got along..( U know just to chill)
But dude forest was really scary shit, was full of devils and shit like dat, But this dude killed them wid arrows…
But den sum bad gangsta – Ravan picked up his babe Sita..
Dis dude and his bro got pissd off…
So they got an Army of Monkeys.. dnt ask how…
Attacked dem…Got d babe and returned home…
People tot they atleast deserve sumthing..
Dey had no bars or clubs or stuff to party…
So they lit lamps…
N this is how it all started…
MOM FAINTED…!!!
And as you have asked to share funniest jokes, cant leave Rajnikant aside…. 😉
Rajni is back –
* Rajnikant killed a terrorist in Pakistan…Via BLUETOOTH…
* Rajnikant can draw a straight line with a compass..
* Rajnikant knows who let d dogs out..
* Rajnikant has a statue of Madame Tussaud’s at his house..
* Rajnikant is a secret of Boost’s energy and Complan is Rajnikant’s boy…
* Rajnikant Intel’s new Ad – ‘Rajnikant inside’…
* When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had 2 missed calls from Rajnikant ….
* Rajnikant can whistle in 5 differwent languages… 🙂
After an Emotional Hug..
Girl said to the Boy:
If u hug me once more like that,
i will be urs forever…
Boy:
Thanks for d warning… 😉
Congrats you guys! 🙂 So happy for you! And well, I am awful at narrating funny things that happen to me, so I’ll just stick with a favorite joke of mine:
Uncle Leroy got a job down at the Broom Factory.
On his first day the straw boss (Floor supervisor) calls ol’ Leroy into his little office and says, “You the new man huh? What is yer name?”
Leroy replied “Leroy”
The straw boss says “I don’t call anyone by first names. It breeds familiarity and that leads to breakdown in my Authority. I refer to all employees by last names; Now what is Your Last Name!”
Leroy sort of smiles and says, “Its Darling – Leroy Darling!
The Straw Boss said “Now Leroy the next thing……..” 😀
Santa ka Promotion Inspector
se DSP
ho gya, Ghar aa kar Wife ko
aise andaz se
btaya, k Wife Behosh Hogae.
.
.
.
???
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
.
Bola:Aaj se Tu DSP k sath
Soyegi…!!! xD
English teacher: “one cute little girl is walking on the road”.change this into a pnjabi exclamatory sentence.”Student: “OYE PATAKA,buuuurrraahhhh”.
Girl :- Aaj mere Dil ka Operation hai ……………….
.
.
Boy :- Pata hai …………….
.
.
Girl :- I Love U ……………..
.
.
Boy :- Main bhi bahot Pyaar karta hoon tumse ……….
.
.
Operation ke baad jab Ladki ko hosh aaya
to sirf uska baap khada tha ………….
.
.
Girl :- Wo kaha hai ?
.
.
Father: Tumhe nahi pata tumhe Dil kisne diya hai ?
.
.
Girl :- What ?
or zor zor se rone lagi ……………..
.
.
Father :- Mazak kar raha hoon
Kamina bahar Samose Kha raha hai
A nice joke 🙂
2 cockroaches ICU mein ek doosre ke paas admit the.
1st cockroack — kisne maara ?
2nd cockroack — Arre koi na ahi, ye saali ladkiyan mujhe dekh kar itna chillati hai ki mujhe heart attack aa gaya.
First of all Congratulations to IMBB for their awesome feat…
I dont know if this joke has been posted or not but here it goes :
Santa and Banta were travelling through a village where there lived a very dangerous Dacoit Babbar singh .Unfortunately Santa and Banta were caught by the Dacoit’s associates and brought in front of the Babbar singh. both of them start pleading for their life Babbar singh gives them the ultimatum that whoever tell him the funniest joke and on which every single person standing there laughs will be let free.so Santa goes first and tells a joke everyone present there laughs except Banta so babbar singh shoots Santa dead,then Babbar singh ask Banta to step forward and tell a joke,so Banta steps forward and starts to laugh hysterically Babbar singh ask him the reason for his laughter,Banta then stops and says ki Santa ka joke bahut zabardast tha mujhe ab samajh mein aya :-/
Girl 1: I am in love
Girl2: who is he??
Girl3: how does he look?
Girl4: wat color?
Girl5: how tall is he??
Girl6: wat is he doing?
Girl7: who r his frnds?
Girl8: total wealth?
After full inspection
All Girls: Be careful he might be a bad
guy.
Girl1: OK.
.
.
.
Same situation
Boy1: I am in love
Boy2: Bhai Party
Boy3: Bhai Party
Boy4: Bhai Party
Boy5: Bhai Party
Boy6: Bhai Party
Boy7: Bhai Party
Boy8: Bhai Party….:D haha lol
young woman arrived to her doctor with black and blue signs of beating.
Doctor, “What happened?”
Woman, “Doctor, I do not know what to do, whenever my husband comes home drunk he beats the hell out of me, almost killing me.”
Doctor, “I have a really good medication for it. When your husband comes home drunk you just take a glass of Green tea and start to gargle and gargle, as much as you ca
n
do and that’s all you have to do”
Two weeks later the woman returns to the doctor reborn and with a grateful look in her eyes .
Woman: “Doctor, that was a brilliant medicine! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled and gargled with Green tea and nothing happened! He Has gone straight to bed.”
Doctor, “You see how it helps to keep your mouth shut !”
JOKE:-
Husband said that he love to go along with his wife for the shopping and feel very happy when she use his credit card for the payment.
wowww… Congo on 2 lacs fan!!! :))
funny incident?? hmm.. well, there’s one from when we used to live in the middle east..we had this little gym at home tucked away in a corner setting. Diwali days. They used to be a bit muted there..at-home thing. So, there went my mum cleaning curtains and pulling them down. Standing on a chair. And the next moment there came a huge crashing sound. We knew what must have happened as me, my dad, and brother rushed from our rooms to see my mum’s condition(my mum was a bit portly and round then). And what we see, just broke us down in hysteria! There went my mum hurrying to a cycling machine and rushing on to take a couple of rounds hurriedly. She was puffing away, with the curtains and chair toppled over where she must have fallen.
Well, the scenario definitely was one of shock and hilarity!!! 😛
this is a really funny joke that i heard,
The internals exams were on at a college and 4 guys hadn’t studied anything so they decided to skip the exams.the next day they go to college and inform the dean that they were coming to college in a car and one of the tires burst so they couldn’t arrive in time for the exam.the dean asked them to give the exam on a later date.Now when they came to give their exams they were made to sit in separate rooms and the question paper was something like this- q.1.write your name.(1 marks)
q.2.which of the four tires burst?(99 marks) 😀 😀
Wife saw board outside a shop –
Monsoon Offer Only for today :
Banarsi saree 10/-
Nylon 8/-
Cotton 5/-
Excited Wife to Hsbnd: Give me Rs. 500, I’ll buy 50 sarees
Hsbnd – Birbal ki ma, istri ki dukan hai vo !!
Congratulations IMBB team!!!! 🙂 🙂
Here goes a joke:
A guy was siting in d toilet wen someone frm the adjacent toilet said,
1: Hi, how r u ?
He got embarrassed n said,
2: I m fine.
1: So wat r u up to?
2: Wel, just sitting lyk u.
1: Can i cum over?
2: No! R u crazy?
1: Listen I wil call u back. There is an idiot in d other toilet answering me
this is funniest incident of my childhood…
me and my cousin sister wer playing outside our home with a big rubber ball.while playing she suddenly started playing alone with that ball. i got angry and went to her n said, give that ball else i ll burst it right now .
she said go ahead, i took the ball from her hand n placed between my palms n crushed it badly,all this while i was looking at her in anger n she was looking at ball in shock.she rushed to her mom n started crying over this incident…
we laugh like mads whenever we recall this. :p 😀
my cousin sis had bought a barbie doll which came along with little kelly. she was overjoyed with both the dolls. i asked her to give kelly to me, she denied this. my nani was watching all this n she secrectly took kelly n placed in my bag. my cousin sis started searching for doll as soon as she realised its missing.
she figured it out that my nani did this, she went to nani n stood in centre of room n started shouting ” ek mummy n daughter ko alag karne ka apko koi haq nai hai, aap nai kar sakte aisa” n took keely with her n went in her room..
we all bursted out laughing at her words.. 😀 😀 😀 😀
is the giveaway over???? i guess m late..!! but i would really like to share something. i got my job in TCS recently coz of IMBB. thank u so much..!! actually i had mentioned my interest in fashion in my resume and they found it interesting and started asking me questions about it. they asked me which blogs i follow and i emphasised over imbb and its owner RATI as i read so many articles from this blog and i have got to know abt so many products and fashion trends. thanxx a lot RATI !!! u made my life..!!! thanx IMBB gang..<3<3<3..!!
it happened with my frnd……
we r civil engineering students, part of our assignment we have submit buiding plan chart..so me my frnd and some students went to staff room to submit chart.Below plan we need to mention scale representing diagram and actual building size. She forgot to mention it ,sir asked where is the scale…she left the room and returned in 2 min bringing camlin scale and said sir u asked for a scale…me other students faculty burst out LAUGHING…….from dat scene all remember her well by scale….
Here goes some funny definitions
Adult–A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Beauty Parlor–A place where women curl up and dye.
Cannibal–Someone who is fed up with people.
Chickens –The only animals you eat before they’re born and after they’re dead.
Committee–A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Dust–Mud with the juice squeezed out.
Egotist– Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
Handkerchief–Cold storage.
Inflation–Cutting money in half without damaging the paper
Mosquito –An insect that makes you like flies better.
Raisin–Grape with a sunburn.
Secret–Something you tell to one person at a time.
Skeleton –A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
Tomorrow–One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
Toothache–The pain that drives you to extraction.
Wrinkles–Something other people have. You have character lines
Yawn–An honest opinion openly expressed.
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, “Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss.”
So the man agreed and made his first wish. “I want lots of money”, he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man’s bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss’ account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss’ house appeared two of each car.
Finally the genie said, “This is your last wish, you should choose carefully”, and so the man replied… “I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney…”
A very big congratz to IMBB for getting 2 lakh fans…. 😀 May u guys keep on growing like this and keep on providing us with expert makeup and fashion advice!!! 🙂
This is a joke i read in Readers Digest and i found it quite amusing…I hope it makes u guys smile too.. 🙂
Two guys were playing golf, and they were annoyed because there were two women ahead of them playing very slowly. One of the guys decided to ask if they could play through. He walked over about halfway, they suddenly turned around very quickly and came back.
‘That was close,’ he said. ‘One of those women is my wife, and the other one is my mistress! If they’d both recognised me, I’d have been in real trouble.’
‘Don’t worry,’ the other guy said. ‘I’ll go ask if we can play through.’
He started over towards them, then he, too, suddenly turned back.
‘Talk about your coincidences.’
How does a blonde kill a fish?
She drowns it. 😀
Teacher: Agar 1 aam ke ped par 10 kele lage hain, aur unn mein se 7 amrood tod liye to kitne angoor bache?
Student: Sir 9 Haathi
Teacher: Wah tumhe kaise pata chala?
Student: Sir kyunki main aaj lunch mein gobhi ki sabzi laya hoon..
Moral of the Story: Roz brush karo warna petrol mehnga ho jayega..!
i realised just now my joke isnt showing up booohhhh 🙁
i posted it on nov 10th