How to Groom your Personality & Gain Confidence : Ask IMBB

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Hi Rati,

This is sandhya here.my problem is different i have no one share it i am 22 married have a baby boy of 2 yr old.my husband is a techie.i am a south indian i am in bangalore.i want to change the way how i look.i wear only churidhar and plat my hair i am fat dont get scared of my weight 93kg.i want to reduce it i am working on it.my husband doesnt like me going quite frequently to palour.i had a very long very dense hair but now my hair is not growing and i have dandruff and hairfall.i do have pair of jean i wear so rear.i dont have the confidence to wear it.i want to become stylish break the way how i look.it is affecting my marriage life.and i am about join in fashion course i should defenitely change my look for my profession.plsssssss atleast will u help me.i am totally devasted.

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148 thoughts on “How to Groom your Personality & Gain Confidence : Ask IMBB

  1. Hi Sandhya,

    I don’t think your problem is that different. Most of us at some point or the other have had issues with appearances and confidence.

    I think you could start with going out for walks – getting some fresh air goes a long way with clearing your head, and Bangalore is still quite beautiful in the early mornings. Find something that you like to do and that serves no other purpose other than making you happy – for me it’s reading or blogging – I used to have a phase where I loved to sketch. Please don’t sit and watch TV; I mean find something creative or constructive to do. Another thing I would suggest is get a job. There’s a lot more to a job then just the work – it brings a sense of pride and also helps you meet a lot more people than sitting at home. Of course, with a baby at home this might be difficult, but it is worth giving a try. You mentioned signing up for a fashion course, so I am sure that would be a great change with meeting people and having lots of work to keep your mind occupied.

    I cannot comment on going to a parlour – I know how maddening guys can be when it comes to such things – but if you cannot convince him that you need some time to relax from the stress of managing a child and home, then you could try a lot of simple do-it-yourself manicures, pedicures, facials. Sure, they aren’t the same as a trip to the parlour, but they would help.

    Lastly, losing weight and fitting into a trendy pair of jeans does go a long way in boosting the confidence levels, but I don’t see any reason why a person in “churidars and plait” cannot be classy and beautiful. It’s all in your head – if you feel beautiful inside, you will look fabulous outside.

    Have a great day πŸ™‚

    1. Rads, I loved what u wrote. Especially the part “There’s a lot more to a job then just the work – it brings a sense of pride” is VERY true. And yes, a person in Churidhars n plait can look fabulously classy! :yes: :yes:

      1. me too chudi gal.. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ and i feel soo happy n proud of it. i am tall and i find well fitted chudi’s suiting me soo well.. i feel myself looking “oh so Pretty” in them.. πŸ˜‰

        1. Rads! :woot: What a wonderful advice! :woot: :woot: :love: I loved what you said about job being more about bringing a sense of pride than work. That is so true. And sometimes, a woman in a chooridaar and a plait can look better than a jeans-clad one. It’s all about the personality and confidence. πŸ˜€

          1. Oh, I know all about life without a job, and I can never ever underestimate the importance of having one πŸ˜€

            I dont have any plaits though..my hair never gets to that level. Chop chop wayyy before that, but that’s because I have the kind of hair that’s best kept at a certain length. Very unruly kinds πŸ˜€

    2. :love: I really in love wid ur advices and posts :love: Rads :love: :love: :love: u r one Gem here :teddy: :teddy: :teddy: :teddy: ppl like u or sud say frnds like u r support in every sense :clap: :clap: :clap: i totally agree with ur advice :specs: :specs:

    3. very well advised and spoken rads. I am sure a lot of girls, including myself, are very grateful to you for it. :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes:

  2. hi Sandhya..
    we do match each other in all the info & problems u mentioned( south indian,currently in blore,wears only chudidhar,plated hair,hair problems,weight issues ,no for frequent parlour visit etc…)..the difference is that u r 22 and i am 26 and mother of 4yrs old kid.
    To my surprise my lil gal asked me one day why am i not wearing any jeans like those pretty aunties whom she sees in her school and not having a haircut like her teacher…its really high time i felt awakened of how our looks affect our children as well.. :shocked:
    though we cant make any magic to our weight immediately..we can still work on the way we carry ourselves..and the friends here would really help us a lot …
    so we r at the right place..meanwhile i would also like to lend u some helping as far as i know..

  3. Hi sandhya – First and foremost, let me commend you for so openly coming forth to ask for help. Having said that let me also assure you that your problem is solvable and all it requires are little changes. I am not sure if it will sound too much but this is what i would do.

    1. Make a plan and stick to it. keep it real. for e.g – dont set yourself up for 10 kgs in 2 months. not going to happen.
    2. Just start off with going for a walk for 30 mins every day and if possible have a glass of warm water every morning before you eat anything else
    3. there are lots of home remedies these days and you dont have to go to the parlour very often – if you do a search on IMBB you will receive tips right from skincare to hair care and diet tips as well
    4. dont EVER give up hope
    5. Dont et anyone else tell you how to feel (i know its easy to say this but try and follow)
    6. Most important its not the end of the world and there is always a new beginning so start today itself. dont wait for a 1st of the month, a monday, after some occasion etc.
    7. i read that exercise you should do first thing in the morning becos no matter how else your day goes atleast you started it right..:) good logic i think
    8. lastly – you are at te right place – IMBB..these are a bunch of very fun and helpful people. they just know how to boost your spirits up.

    good luck!!! and keep us posted. its never as bad as it seems..:)

            1. :)..ya that happens too. also its about that motivation mostly. if you have a wedding, party to attend you automatically have a reason to lose those extra kilos..and that feeling when someone says “wow you have lost weight”- its like simply awesome!!!!! at that moment every bit of effort seems like totally worth it

                1. πŸ™‚ ya ppl who have been there totally get it :whistle: :whistle: . and also i have learnt the hard way that the older you get the harder it is to lose that weight, hence that discipline is very important. what you could manage 10 yrs ago takes much longer today to happen..those love handles, the sagging arms eeeeeeks :yuck: :yuck: :yikes: :yikes:

                  1. But you look awesome aruna, you are well maintained :)) , yesterday only i was thinking on seeing your post that, i should maitain even if i get older,

                    Because immediately after baby birth the body changes a lot, i struggled to get back to my old body shape, though i didnt completely change as i was before baby birth, but now i am happy with what i am and feeling fit too πŸ™‚

                  2. awww!! but you look fab aruna. I love the way you present yourself and you come across as such a confident, independent and happy person. :-*

                    1. u guys are the best..and i swear i am not phishing when i say these things..

                      You women/girls really inspire me..I am so so happy to be on IMBB..love u folksss…

                    2. people say that to me now but only i know the low self esteem phase i have gone thru’..I have just abt begun to gain that confidence back πŸ™‚ anyways dont want to sound depressing and change the topic..:).. yeh mein apni hi kahaani shuru kardi as always.. :yikes: :yikes:

    1. Aruna, what u said is so true, liked it a lot… :yes: :yes: :yes: I have been through it I know how it feels. I was around 70 Kilos, lost around 14 kilos and I did it by just eating right n working out.. What I feel is, when the kilos n inches keep dropping, it gives a great boost to the confidence. And that, more than anything else (even the weight loss) is what makes all the difference in the world!

      1. awesome ramya. There has been a point in my life when i lost 12 kgs.. after high school πŸ˜€ It was great. :woot: :woot: :woot: But that time I also did crash dietings and rigorous work out. I dont suggest this to anyone today. Back then my teenage body could take it, now toh i would faint only if i start dieting. :stars: :stars: :stars: :stars:

        1. :yes: :yes: ya those crash diets are the worst..its abt being sensible eventually and not going crazy abt the dieting..its ok to indulge once in a while as long as you remember to exercise it out.

        2. I agree Rati. I realised that I could lose weight n maintain that only by healthy eating. When I tried crash dieting, I was on the “lose now, gain back double later” cycle.. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

      1. My God, you women are inspiring! If ever I am overweight and depressed, I am going to come and read the comments on this post. :haanji: And the only time I have ever lost, people just said – “Whoa, you’ve lost weight! You look terrible!” I was 18 and had recovered from typhoid. Not a very pleasant memory associated with weight loss. πŸ˜›

        1. hihihhih i find it weird that people around you are not supportive when you start eating in moderation. Sometime is feel like saying ” concentrate on your own plate not mine. :scream: ” . I get so irritated with people sometimes. :smug: :smug:

          1. Yeah! It’s a problem with people who are trying to increase their appetites by eating extra too. I have a very good appetite and I am a bit of a food maniac. So, I usually eat more, order things with extra cheese and am usually munching on something. :silly: I always hear idiots bleating dumb stuff like – “Wow! How can you eat so much?” It’s crazy. :headbang: They hate it if you eat more and loathe it if you eat less and try to get into shape. When I am the dictator for life of this world, such people will be the first to be force-fed poison. :devil:

            1. I totally agree vd u Jabberwocky.. My body behaves similar to yours.. And it is very irritating when people keep pin pointing u.. :scream: :scream:

            2. JW, u hit the nail on the head :yes: :yes: There’s just no pleasing ppl! :scream: Call me for any help with the force-feeding poison part :toothygrin: :toothygrin:

          2. I KNOW Rati!!!!!!!!!! God, I have experienced this! I cant eat too much at a time as I eat every 2 hrs.. And ppl have HUGE problems with that!! And when I don’t pile my plate with desserts, I get this: “Abhi bhi dieting kar rahi hai kya? U wanna become size zero?” MAn! I HATE it. I dont even wanna get into the “eat up well, else u’ll become weak” part :pan: :pan:

  4. Hi Sandhya, it’s good to know you are working on loosing your weight. grooming yourself definitely gives a boost to your confidence and enhances your personality.Don’t sulk. Think yourself beautifull and attractive..and everything will fall in place.(personal experience) .It’s great that you want to include a bit of fashion but you can rock even in a churidar. Put on a smile and instead of digging up flaws in yourself,try to be a bit more realistic.Isn’t it awesome that even being just 22 you are an awesome mother and lovely wife. there should be things you can do best.
    when it comes to beauty,take a bit care of yourself. Invest in good products(that work,no need to be branded/high priced one) take proper care of your skin- cleansing,toning,moisturising twice a day would help you lot.depending upon your skin type use a face pack -2/3 times a day! if you dn’t want to go salons,its okay..because i don’t too..do your manicure,pedicure,waxing(if possible at home) not only face tk cr of your body..scrub it well,follow up with a good body lotion.
    you say you have long hair ! that’s gorgeous ! I so dream of having long hair *sigh* ,,take care of your tresses. again invest in a good antidandruff shampoo.moisturising shampoo and conditioner.shampoo atleast 2-3 times a week! oil your hair..and do a hair spa at home once a week!you will see a visible difference.
    eat healthy ,as it will also lead to a glowing skin and lusturous hair…make out some “me-time” do whatever makes you feel good. may be you can cultivate your childhood hobby!..all these little bit pampering yourself,will boost your confidence for sure .makeup wise, buy good quality basic products first.read blogs more often and try to find out what would work for you..don’t get frustrated or disapointed looking at the pics in glossy’s.the very humble kajal and make a huge difference to your looks..oh! and style your hair .don’t be stuck with plaits. there are more options with long hair πŸ™‚

    phew that was long! hope this doesn’t go into moderation πŸ˜‰ hope it helped !
    ps- I was in your position ,ever feeling low even a few months back,so i cud relate more O:)

    1. :yes: I am in midway sukanya..was worrying abt myself few months back..now incorporating watever i can to boost my confidence..hey i really luv ur post as its applicable to me as well and it is my further expert guidance to all my efforts.
      keep posting πŸ˜‰

  5. i agree wit u Rads…the problem is young mothers often dont know how to have their own personal time ..we often get involved every bit of us in raising up the child and usually dont mind of getting lost completely..and the awakening comes out only very late..As for sandhya, its her decision to join the course and for me..my lil ones questions..
    i am not mentioning tat we cant look pretty in chudis but its boring sometimes ..as we have many options to try on..

  6. Hi,
    Weightloss – Do it for yourself, not for anyone else. Evaluate how you feel about yourself in that weight. 93 kgs is not that BIG a number. there are women who are 150 kgs and doing a great job.
    Your appearance doesnt matter, your opinion about yourself does. and so does what other people say doesnot matter. Its how you see yourself.
    However, if you want to lose weight, do pick up the book of Rujuta Diwekar – its an awesome way to begin a healthy lifestyle.

    Allow me to assure you that, you are the Best even now, and you will be the best even at 60 kgs.

    All the Best.

    Hope I have helped.

  7. Regarding fitness, you have to change your lifestyle. I have lost a lot of weight in past few months but i have made drastic changes in my lifestyle such as cutting down from 6-7 cups of tea to 2, eating early dinner, not treating my stomach as dustbin and eating in moderation, cutting down on sweets and junk food majorly. The funniest thing is that when you start dieting, the whole world keeps teling you”oh! arent you eating too less”, “you should be eating more” etc. Just ignore all of that and if you can just politely say ,” i know what I am eating” πŸ˜› I have recently started going for walks and trust me it helps in keeping my mind and body healthy. You actually dont have to eat less you just dont have to over-eat. Since you are already working on it, I would like to wish you good luck. These are just the things that have worked for me. πŸ™‚ I personally have never had any problem with my weight initially also but honestly with my food changes I feel more healthy and energetic now. It is a good feeling.

    If you can, consult a dietician because you have a kid, your body might need some extra nutrition.

    Do join a gym if you can but initially I suggest that you take help from a trainer. Sometimes when we are overweight, the chances of injury are more. So just to avoid that, it’s best that you do take assistance for a while.

    Regarding clothes, you can wear lovely colorful jewellery, bags and shoes to go with your outfits. And honestly, one does not have to spend a moolah over picking up cute stuff. Stay within your budget. Look for places that fit your pocket and pick up things from there. :))

    If you want to achieve something, you have to work hard for it. Do take care of your health and you’d be able to sort out a lot of things. Just remember that it is not impossible to achieve what you want to achieve. :hugleft:

    1. I really like this post/query, its applicable to most of the ppl πŸ™‚ and the sentence “Just remember that it is not impossible to achieve what you want to achieve.” :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho:

      1. Rati – so true..nice to get hear about how the others tackled this problem too.

        like Shami said, it is so applicable to the rest of us. And i think most of us know what the right thing to do, but we are just too lazy to follow it..i seriously dont want anyone to learn it the hard way (bad health, obesity etc)

        1. i agree aruna. It’s awesome to be fit and groomed but really it should be something that should be dealt with love and support.

          thanks shami πŸ™‚

  8. Hi Sandhya,

    Diet plays a good role in weight look… just workout wont help
    1. Most of the white stuff (white bread, white rice, maida , sugar , too much of full cream dairy , sweets )are a killer – try to reduce these and add more of veggies and proteins , whole wheat stuff , low fat dairy products in ur diet.
    2. Drink warm water first thing in morning and daily walk of 30 min is a must.
    3. 1 bowl of salad and fruit is a must every day + green tea! . Drink 8-10 glasses of water daily.
    4. Avoid food which cause water retention(sodium, spicy stuff) or gas at night (such as watermelon , spinach, cauliflower etc). can have these either in breakfast/lunch.

    Good Luck!

  9. ratiiiiiii…I am out of the hospital……….I am so happy…….. :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

  10. Nafisa….aarohan was in hospital na…that’s why…me too there full time…now i am back…. :jiggy1: :jiggy1:

  11. Sandhya,
    Don’t be disheartened & lose hope ever! Like other ladies suggested, exercise regularly & especially in the mornings & weight loss tips & DIYs skin care articles are in abundance on IMBB. U will surely find something that will suit u.
    Weight loss & personality development take time, maybe months..just hang in there & see it through till then end. Perseverance is key. Its is very easy to get lazy but u will have to actively decide every morning to keep going no matter what.
    Usually all our self-confidence issues are inter-linked..like when i lose my weight, i start fittin in to my clothes better, so i look trimmer & my skin gets better with the toxins flushed out with exercise, so i feel cleaner & makeup goes on much better on good skin…hair also becomes rejuvenated, so i feel good tryin on new hair styles, i feel good with the positive changes, so it shows & people like a positive person, they compliment & get vibes of ur positivity, people treat u as u treat urself mostly…so 1 thing like weight loss will trigger a chain reaction & everythin else will slowly start to fall in place too. So if it is weight loss for u too, then concentrate on that initially & other things will surely follow.
    I hope u feel better soon. All the best! Good wishes r with u!! πŸ™‚

  12. Hiiiiii…Sandhya …I’m a silent reader here ..I’ve been one since last 4-5months and this question of yours made me comment here.I had a very bad acne problem last year and I almost lost all my confidence.My face was looking like a dirty bumpy road.But I had friends you had even worse acne problem and were full on confidence.Then I decided that its not about how you look but its about how you feel about self.Feel good about yourself and that makes you confident.Firstly lemme tell you people who are healthy(as referred as fat by you) are uber cute.I’ve known some most beautiful who are very low self confidence.I’m sure all the lovely ladies here would give you tips on how to lose weight but please never ever think that you are inferior to anyone.Its just what you feel about self … πŸ˜‰

    1. Hi aarti.. you can mail ur queries to rati or jomol. u can find their ID’s at the contact/jobs/letters of IMBB.. πŸ™‚

  13. Chin up Girlie…. πŸ™‚

    You already have enough suggestions by now..Thanx to our Lovelies.. :yes:
    Weight reduction can surely play a ‘MAJOR’ role in boosting confidence.. :haanji: & it will take sum time to change your lifestyle but once you start getting results..you gonna intoxicated with your regimen. I was, am & always will be health & fitness freak whereas my hubby was totally into indulgence. :headbang: Now after hours-long-lectures & looking at my xample he is totally into fitness & loving his newself.. πŸ™‚ Lemme share few practical tips…& will be glad if any of ’em works for you.. πŸ™‚

    * Walk, Walk & Walk..whenever & wherever you can. Safest & most njoyable form of xecrcise. If poss do it in park. I go to gym but after weight training & floor xcercises I come out for open air walk. As you have baby..it wuld be diff to find time..but am sure within few months he wuld start going to playschool. Take your I-pod & start walking..at brisk-est possble pace. Start with medium pace for 1st 10 mins & gradually increase it maintain it for 50 mins & then again slow down for last 10 mins. Warmup+Rigourous+Cooldown. Walking can do miraclessss..without damaging knee joints or any other body parts.

    * Change in Diet will play major role & it will show faster results. But dun go for Crash-diets as they will harm body & most importantly..its impossible to continue ’em lifelong & once you stop ’em you will gain at faster rate. So dun play with your metabolism & moderation is the key word when it comes to diet control if you want to last it for long. Instead of Yo-Yo dieting choose your intake wisely which can keep you full & yet not showing on your body. As Nidhi rightly said White stuff is not nice. Cut down on ’em as much as practically possible. Never starve..if you will..you gonna end up binging on anything & everything you get at the end of the day. Every 2-3 hours..keep munching on fruits, salads,sprouts,roasted chana & after it one tall glass of water(preferably warm) or Green Tea. In such way you will be full by dinner time & automatic cut down in it. I eat mega-bowl of Salad+Sprout+Olive Oil+Apple Cider Vinegar+Salt+Herbs+Flaxseeds powder at 6 pm & when I take my dinner at 8..not much space is left for it.

    * Beauty+Fashion is the most affordable hobby.. :haanji: I go to parlours only for haircuts..rest everything is being done at home by myself.. :haanji: & Churidaars can be most fashionable attires if you design ’em carefully & tastefully. When I used to work..I prefered only churidaars in my office & I myself used to design+stich+paint/embroider ’em..!! Though affordability was & is never an issue but I have always prefered to apply my mind & skills..so that I can njoy end results in better way..:) All you need is sum aesthetic sense & wish to look for new ideas.

    Finally Internet is an ocean of tips for everything. You will find countless ideas @ Weight loss & diet, DIY Beauty, DIY Fashion & wat not..!! Make Google your God & it can change your LIFE..:)

    As its all @ my fav topics…I have end up commenting endlessly.. :methinks: I hope it helps..!!
    All the luck Girlie & CHIN UP..World is Ohh-Sooo-Beautifulllll for all of us.. :rose:

    1. you know until i started imbb i used to think i am the only mahaan person who does not like going to the parlours much. Now it feels great to find so many women who do not enjoy parlous. :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:

      1. Hihihi….Now meet Ms.Fellow-Mahaan.. :high5: & As I am outta India since almsot 8 yrs my mahaan-iyat is getting increased.. :haanji: Ek to I am homemaker now after 16 yrs of hectic workign life so have loads of ‘me’ time (read : fully faaltoo time) :toothygrin: & Parlours are Operation Theatres here…Cheerrr ke rakh dete hain.. :waaa: I have done Self-beautification Course when I was teeanger so since then Eyebrows & Upper lips & all threading & Waxing & bla bla is DIY only. Last time I wanted to change my hairstyle & was growing my hair for that..went to parlour after whoppy 15 months.. :toothygrin:

      2. Me toooooooooooooooooo….hate going to the parlour πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ But I like facials..they are so relaxing…am just too lazy to go to the parlour to get them done though πŸ˜›

    2. Good tips .. :yes: :yes: I too switched from Tea & coffee to Green Tea.. Its really refreshing :happydance: and I try different flavors .. πŸ™‚

      1. Am glad Laxmi you liked ’em…!! Though I have never tried regular black tea..am hooked to Green Tea..espl with Lemon/Ginger/Mint..Juss boliing water & dip dip..Blisss.. πŸ™‚

  14. Hi Sandhya,

    You are ME. I had the same issues with my life 6 months back.

    Let me share with you some of my tips. as answers to your questions.

    Q) my problem is different
    A) join the club. :yahoo: We all at some point in our lives face this. Dejection from loved ones.
    Blame this on hormones. :pissedoff:

    Q) i have no one share
    A) Love yourself. :heart: Look in the mirror every day – blow a kiss and say I love you. Seriously. Love, Love and Love yourself – for what you are, :heart: Love for what makes you different. Love your positive qualities. :preen:

    Q) i am 22 married have a baby boy of 2 yr old
    A) You are lucky. I am 33, married since 8 years. No kids. Not blessed with one. :waaa:
    Been depressed since many years for this. Now I just feel GOD is busy elsewhere. :waiting:

    Q) my husband is a techie
    A) my husband too. He comes with a extra baggage of office frustration. :waaa:

    Q) .i want to change the way how i look.i wear only churidhar
    A) Great Indian dress. You can look young for years if you wear churidaar. Saree some how ages a person, Skirts and Jeans – may not suit in 40s. Churidaar is the best.

    Tips
    1) Wear well tailored clothes – That which fits perfectly.
    2) No droopy shoulders.
    3) Don’t stitch too tight at stomach or chest – in order to look slim.
    Fitting should be comfortable.
    4) Big prints don’t work on Big Bodies
    5) Your Neck pattern should always have a sharp end in the bottom – I don’t know how to put this – But say a ‘ V ‘ neck – this ends in a sharp point. This makes you look slimmer and draws attention to your face and also makes your shoulder slim. Compare this with a round or a U neck – this draws attention to your round frame. I hope you understand this.

    6) Have dresses made with a pattern in the chest area – which falls below the bust.
    See here http://fashunion.com/latest-teens-shalwar-kameez-designs/1668
    (Rati – not promoting the website – just helping )

    This gives a illusion of slim waist.

    7) Don’t wear short sleeves – This highlights fat arms
    Wear 3/4 sleeves – again this gives illusion of slim waist – double fayda.

    8) Dont invest in the dress materials which come with Salwar-Kameez-Dupatta unless its a designer or a dress for occasion.
    I am talking of daily clothes. The one which you buy will probably be with many girls in different colors. Try to be unique.

    Best is visit stores which sell materials.
    Always buy 3 kameez peices for one salwar. This way you can save money and be different.

    Experiment in dupatta.

    Example. I purchased a off-white cotton kameez cloth with small gold motifs. I paired this with a off white churidar that I own since a year belonging to a different kameez. I wear a plain dupatta – if I feel chandni. πŸ˜‰ I wear a designer red and green dupatta if I have party in evening. I have a dark blue duppatta for office. and Light blue dupatta when sunny –

    See with one new kameez I have so many options.

    You can play like this with mix-match options and look different.

    contd….. πŸ˜‰

    Jaldi Jaldi likha hai – errors to be ignored :dumb:

      1. My husband blocked IMBB at home – as he promised. :waaa: :waaa:
        Today no power in office since 6:00AM. and No backup. Power up at 4:30PM. and the first thing I did was check IMBB. :toothygrin:

        For Sandhya, did no work and replied with tips. :high5:

        Ab, work report dena hai :chewnails: :chewnails: – Jaldi Jaana hai :chewnails: :chewnails: – B’day party ke liye permission kaise lena hai :chewnails: :chewnails: :chewnails:

        :waaa:

  15. Usually ladies put on more weight after pregnancy.. I was 55 before marriage, turned to 73 after my son was born 2 yrs back, now I am 68.. :happydance:
    Apart from ur regular workouts and diets on reducing body weight, take ur boy to park, play with him.. Train ur son to ride bicycle.. I’ve lost few kgs running after him when he is riding bicycle and sometimes my son asks me to run along with him from one end to an other end in our house without any reason; I do so what to do.. :jog: he has got only few friends here.. I do all my household work myself.. I use vaccum cleaner 1-2 times a week.. I bend and clean myself so as to reduce weight.. Make urself always busy..
    Regarding, clothes, I wear tights-pants and T-Shirt and an over coat (I don’t know its exact name, comes to my knee-length). This looks very trendy on me and camouflages my weight esp my belly.. Or else go for trendy kurta-patiala..
    I go to parlor only once a year when I come to India.. Here I dont have many and my big prb is lang here.. :headbang: But I do scrub my body, feet and face atleast once a week. You can find many products reviewed here in IMBB.. So I dont think thats a big prb.. But get ur brows thread and hair cut atleast every 2 months.. Try to find out the best hair style that suits u from a good hair expert.. :pigtail:
    Try different dandruff shampoos to find out which suits the best.. Dandruff leads to other prbs too.. Dhadri hair oil and TBS Ginger-Antidandruff helps me a lot… Hope this helps u.. :))

    1. Laxmi same pinch :high5: .. me too 55kg before marriage after baby birth 72 now 62 πŸ™‚ and me 5’5″ tall so i wont look over weight now
      As you said me too play/run :jog: :jog: behind my 3yr old simply :toothygrin: :toothygrin: just to reduce some kilos

      1. I thought only I am running.. :jog: .. I am 5’6”’ .. should reduce some more weight. :waiting: Btw, r u frm chennai?

  16. I will show this post to my hubby… he asked me why do u c this makeup site… I love u ppl for all such lovely comments :-* :heart:

  17. aaah that y we all love IMBB so much.. every day we learn something or the other from each others experiences and lifestyles. love you all :jaiho:

  18. Contd.. :snicker:

    More tips on clothes.

    1) When buying readymade clothes- always try them before buying and alter them before wearing if required.
    2) Short kurtas and leggings are no no. :nonono: unless you want to look like a sausage. :lol2: One aunty I saw in a store. She was like the previous Adnan Sami. She was wearing a very short top just below her pelvis and leggings. Camel toe alert in front and I don’t know what its called in back $$ and thighs. :yikes:
    3) Use soft laces to design the dresses. This gives a feminine touch and looks elegant.
    Use lace around sleeves, around dupatta. or in the “paicha” of salwar. White lace works in all light coloured clothes
    4) For Dark colored dresses like navy blue, maroon, black etc- use gold or silver lace (not too loud) or use the small ghungroos for sleeves

    Q) my husband doesnt like me going quite frequently to palour
    A) I have never been to a parlour in my life. You can follow the tips for great skin that is given by IMBB girls above. :teddy:

    Q) i had a very long very dense hair but now my hair is not growing and i have dandruff and hairfall.
    A) same pinch. You have a hairfall problem and you mentioned the cause also “dandruff” – Dandruff if not treated leads to several scalp infections.

    Best remedy (tried by me and successful). Buy Tea Tree Oil.
    Add three drops to coconut oil and apply on scalp at bed time. Next morning add a drop to any shampoo and wash the scalp.

    Use alternate days. You dandruff will say you good bye for ever in 10 days (5 washes).

    No dandruff – No hairfall. :happydance:

    Q) and plat my hair
    A) Try to convince your husband and visit once to parlour. Get your hair cut to frame the face – only at front – not a sadhna cut – but which comes upto the shoulder. Like Kareena in Jab we met.
    Let the length be as long as they are at the back. This frames the face and gives a slimmer look.

    If you tie choti – jooda or whatever – the shortest of this fringe will not get included and fall nicely on face, (again I don’t know how to say this.) :headbang:

    Q) i do have pair of jean i wear so rear.i dont have the confidence to wear it.
    A) Same pinch. But since you are already trying to lose weight – Don’t worry – someday you will fit in them. Till then follow all weight loss tips given here at IMBB.

    πŸ˜‰

    :toothygrin:

  19. Dear Sandhya, Cheer up.
    Life sometimes makes us all feel depressed. Just be confident. Don’t feel lonely. You have a whole lot of people in IMBB to share your thoughts.
    I think we women give our 100% attention to the thing we feel passionate about that we eventually forget to take care of ourselves. Be it career, marriage or kids. When our minds are bit relaxed/free to think about ourselves, we get a shocking picture that we have forgotten to take care of ourselves in the process. we feel “oh how ugly i look.. i look so fat” etc.. At that moment we very much forget that we are the “makers/guiding force” of our family’s/career’s development. At 22, i feel you have achieved a lot sandhya.. just look around you.. you have a beautiful little boy who depends on u for your love and affection.
    Men, especially husbands care so much about our safety that they end up putting loads of restrictions. these restrictions are mainly due to their misconceptions. Once u clear those up i am sure they are the most adorable and loving creatures on earth. I am Sure that you are as beautiful as ur sweet name.. :puchhi: Good Luck.. :puchhi:

      1. i felt that way a couple of months back laxmi.. i was studying for my exams and working as article assistant and never had time to even think about anything else.. after i completed mi course and got job, i was in that “all settled for some time phase”. it was then i started feeling so bad about myself. Now after all the self taught lessons of life and gyaan i feel so happy and i am proud of my self.. once i became confident and happy with mi self, the world started treating mi like a princess. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ . its just our mind and its true that “happiness” brings “beauty”..

    1. ya Raji..I had an awful experience in my parlour visit..the bleach they used caused me breakouts and i really struggled a whole year to come back to normal..so wenever i utter the word parlour i will hear t same words from my husband “WILL IT SUIT U?” and i will be silenced completely…DIY items like scrub,toner etc are also a big NO..cause i don ve any answers for his questions… :stars:
      But thanks to IMBB ..cause now I have more knowledge abt the usages of the cosmetics and skin care products and can convince him easily.. :happydance:

  20. Hi Sandhya,

    You and I have much in common: i am a South Indian, and overweight. Additionally, I’m med-dark, and i’m on the wrong side of 45. In a sense, by giving you advice, I feel that I addressing my younger self.

    You have got some excellent advice on diet and exercise in previous posts. It seems to me that your problem is loneliness and low self-esteem. Both are easily fixed. With a young child, you must be frequenting places where there are other young mothers. Soon, your son will be going to preschool. Reach out to these mothers: you will find you have much in common with them. Invite them & their kids to your home or meet them at a playground. Real friends, not the online kind, are a joy to be with.

    Is there a special talent or passion you have? Music, reading, cooking, dancing, painting? Take a few classes or join a book club,and you will meet people with similar interests. You are very young: build on your strengths, and you will gain self-confidence.

    I live in the US and I wear jeans everyday. Take it from me, jeans are not all they are made out to be. I would much rather wear the gorgeous Indian clothes with the bright colors that are so complimentary to our skintone. I love my trips to Chennai where I can wear lovely cotton sarees everyday.

    When you radiate happiness and smile, you appear to be self-confident. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and skin colors. Dressed in western wear and Indian. I think everyone is beautiful. Good luck with Project You!!!

    1. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and skin colors. – Wow – You put it all in a nutshell. :puchhi:

      :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho:

    2. You said it so right, Meera. Sometimes situations and people and not supportive at all, specially for women. And the last thing a man wants to hear when he comes back from work is about how lonely or depressed you’re feeling. Among all these things, women get so helpless. A housewife’s job is not all that easy after all. 😐

  21. Hi Sandhya,
    As a south indian, I can’t go to sleep without eating rice atleast once in a day. My boyfriend laughs at me when i’m stuffing my face with rice at dinner everyday. I just love all the dosai, uppittu and vada sambar. But since I have been a runner since childhood and i still run atleast 5 times a week, i didn’t get so chubby(but i am still a li’l motu :tongue: ). I understand how you feel. But you’re so young !!! You can still do anything you want to. It’s nice that you’re here sharing your problem with the other girls on IMBB, because it really helps O:)
    I’ll give you my plan which works both for weight loss and hair/skin:
    1) buy a skipping rope and start skipping at home whenever you have free time. First few times, you may not even get past 20 or 30 skips but keep trying and you’ll really see the difference
    2) drink the juice of paalak+tomato+apple every morning. The iron in paalak gets absorbed really nicely when taken along with the high vit C in tomato and apple is just to make the taste better. Two weeks of this and your hairfall will STOP :haanji:
    3) take SPIRULINA capsules twice daily. Gaia is a nice brand and you get a bottle of 60 capsules at 175/- at all the health and glow stores. It increases your stamina to three times, trust me. You will workout more, when you have more strength.
    4) Cook brown rice for yourself.
    5) Keep carrot and cucumber slices in the fridge and eat a handful of them before eating a meal.
    6) Finish dinner by 8 o clock. And eat a li’l cup of curd with dinner, makes you sleep better. And wait till 2 hours after dinner to sleep.
    7) Take a large water bottle (1ltr -1.5 ltr) and plan to drink 4-5 of those bottles in the day. You’ll keep visiting the washroom, but then you’re also getting healthier.
    8) Take up a beauty hobby like nail art or hair styling or eye makeup looks. You’ll feel more chic. It will inspire you to get thin and stay thin so you’ll look much better.
    9) GREEN TEA !!!! Keep a 1 ltr thermos of green tea with you and keep sipping.
    10) STOP EATING MAGGI AND CORNFLAKES !!! They make you gain weight without your knowledge. One wedge of maggi packs up 450 calories :yikes:
    11) Sign up with a website like sparkpeople or myfitnesspal or livestrong to keep tracking your calories deposited and calories burnt all day long.
    You’ll do great, sandhya. I specially know how you feel because I’m also going through a similar phase now. My boyfriend’s also got a tech job and i’m kiiiind of jobless right now, ’cause i’m in the final year of college. I’ve been sitting around gaining weight until a few weeks ago and then i realised i should do better. All the things above reeeeeally helped me and I hope they help you too.
    Much love and greetings from Hyderabad,
    Dipika :))

          1. But I am a pakka Hyderabadi – :yahoo: :yahoo:
            I like shopping at charminar in Ramzan :yahoo:
            I like Biryani, mirchi ka salan, kubani ka meeetha, :stars:
            I like Mahesh babu :inlove:

            I lke telugu movies :happydance:

            I like Ugadi pacchadi that my friends make :drool:

            Happy Ugadi
            :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

            1. hey dipika

              Nice tips for diet plan website…i visited sparkpeople now….its awesome. :puchhi: :puchhi: :pompom: :pompom:

              1. I’m always on sparkpeople, Aarti. It’s so motivating. Also visit nowloss, there are really good personalised exercise plans :)) :))

  22. aah .. aisech hai kya .. i’m also bengali settled in Hyderabad :pompom: :pompom:
    I love Hyderabad more than anything :high5:

  23. Hey Sandhya,

    I think you got some super duper effective tips from the super-women on IMBB and you are very brave for voicing your concerns…my two cents would be –
    I am sure at some point in our life we always wanted to do something really drastic, and never did it because we thought it would ‘shock/surprise’ others or we would end up looking like a fool. I would say just go ahead and DO THAT :woot:
    It really helps if you suddenly do something drastic when you have hit such a low point in your life…it can be anything – maybe change your style of dressing, get some cool hair streaks done at home that suits your complexion and face, start wearing heavy eye makeup, start blogging…figure out that one thing that you have always wanted to do and JUST DO IT! I know it sounds a little silly and impractical when you read it, but trust me, if you take that first step and do something that you have always wanted to do but never did for whatever reasons – it makes you feel very good about yourself.
    For me it was getting some really angry red streaks in my hair :toothygrin: and I can’t tell you how good I felt when I actually did it, gave me a sense of achievement as if I was expressing myself and I gradually started doing the other things that were on my things to do list…and it’s really important to have some sort of a support system…if you are not close to any friend, then make a conscious effort to develop a circle of friends who you can talk to.
    Good luck Sandhya and hang in there, you’ll be fine :))

  24. Hi Sandhya..

    I know how depressed u feel… i’ve to cut down 20kgs to look healthier. i never had the feel of reducing my weight, until i started having serious health issues.. i felt embarrassed, when someone made fun of me.. :yikes: But i used to feel, how the hell does someone know what problems am facing and how i got this weight.. i couldn’t lose weight after dieting, hiting the gym for 8 months.. All i lost is just 1kg.. i just lost hope and quit everything.. :smug:

    And at one point of time, i decided, no matter, how heavy am going to look outside, i just want to feel healthier from within.. as long as am out of health issues.. am 5n.. i go for regular morning walk.. sometimes i keep a watch on my weight, and i do check if i shed few kgs.. sometimes, i just chuck it out and keep going.. if sleeping few extra hours, bunking one day morning walk in a week, is going to make u feel happy.. just do it..

    Don’t restrict urself too much on anything, even on diet.. if u like rice, eat it there is no rule that u got to eat chappathi for healthy diet. make sure u don’t eat unless ur tummy roars.. :toothygrin: u wanna eat a chocolate/dessert/icecream, just eat it, and burn those extra calories when u feel like walking few extra miles, than usual.. by restricting urself from eating anything u like, u r going to barge on it once u lose weight and again put on more weight..

    u can look beautiful in any outfit, when u maintain a good posture.. irrespective of your weight, u can look elegant even in a sari.. most people feel that they look fat in a sari.. but the trick is when u wear ur sari pleated, u look slim.. πŸ˜‰

    Don’ts according to me:
    1. Don’t hit a gym, when u r not sure if u can maintain that lifestyle forever in life. After u leave gym u r going to bloat up like a sponge in water.
    2 Don’t jog or skip, its going to strain ur knees and ankle.. (walk as fast as you can)
    3.Don’t go crash diets.. the faster u lose weight the faster u gain it.
    4. Never drink water 30mins before and after a meal. This is going to dilute the digestive juices, so food you consume will not digest properly.

    Ask yourself, whom u love the most in this world. When the answers r , your mom, dad, siblings, hubby, kid.. U need to change ur mindset. You should love yourself the most, in this world. only then u can find time for yourself.. No harm in being 1% selfish.. :hihi: :hihi:

    And if by any chance u r demotivated by the way the world is looking at you.. Just give a $#!* abt what others feel about you.. Its your life.. and ONLY YOU get to live your life…

  25. hey gurls…i read all the above replies, and srsly, hats off to all of you here…. :yes: ….. i would just like to re-emphasise that we women need to love ourselves first before we extend our love to anybody else. weight related issues can only be tackled with a proper mix of ‘healthy diet’ (not dieting) and moderate amount of exercise. Rigorous dieting puts a lot of unwanted stress on the body, and though weight-loss is possible, rebound weight gain is a sure thing after a few days, once you want to start enjoying your favourite food again. so just watch your portion size and make some healthy changes such as
    -substitute coffe/ tea with green tea (flavoured green teas are also available these days, to avoid boredom—funny, how we never get bored of tea and coffe, but green teas always bore us)
    -substitute white bread with wheat/ multi-grain bread.
    -the flour that you use at home, get multi-grain flour or go to the chakki-wala and get atta made for you. Include all healthy grains such as jowar, bajra, soya. The chapatis with such atta are difficult to roll and dont look pristine white, but they are a healthy lifestyle change.
    -make your body physically work whenever possible. ditch the elevator/lift/escalator. stairs are healthy for your heart.
    -when going for walks, wear comfortable shoes. this will ease of the excessive pressure from the legs and lower back and keep you pain-free, in turn motivating you for regular walks. take weekly breaks from exercise routines too.
    -dont forget to treat yourself to small pleasures every now and then. say an ice-cream on sundays. occasional indulgence does more good than bad.
    as for the parlor issue, try convincing your husband, but dont force him to allow you to go to the parlor. Most parlours arrange for the beautician’s home-visit these days, at a nominally higher rate than the regular service. you can get yourself pampered in the convenience of your home, while keeping an eye on your son too.

    i hope this helps.
    take good care.believe in yourself. you are beautiful!!!

    1. also, if your sincere efforts at shedding weight dont really help for upto 3-4 months, you may need to see a doctor and get your hormones assessed. women in the 20-30 age group are prone to hormonal disturbances, and should get their hormone levels checked atleast once a year..

  26. Beauty doesn’t come in a jar. A facial can be avoided by someone in their twenties. Beauty follows health. The ladies here have already given good tips. Your hair fall may probably be caused by dandruff. Here’s a tip that may help you with dandruff that you may already know: Soak fenugreek (methi dana) seeds in water; mix it with yoghurt and apply it the next day. Make sure that you include enough of fruits, vegetables, and proteins in your diet. Improper diet or anaemia can also cause hair fall. If the hair fall/dandruff does not improve with home remedies or anti-dandruff shampoos, see a trichologist/dermatologist or any good doctor.

    Follow proper cleansing, toning, and moisturising routine for your skin. It is not necessary to break a bank to look good; A pretty nail polish, hair accessories, basic make-up, styling hair differently, earrings, and other jewellery can all add to it.

    Also, try to do something for yourself daily even if it is just for fifteen minutes. Read a book, talk to a friend, have a manicure/pedicure, go for a walk… anything you enjoy doing. Wear dresses and colours that suit you.

    Hope that helps.

  27. Some really useful tips here from all IMBBians!! I don’t really have much to add, just take it one step at a time, or else you’ll end up feeling overwhelmed. And don’t let a slip feel like the end of the world. Pick yourself up, dust yourself and move on!! Just check out the various Indian blogs out there for wonderful tips on stylish Indian wear. Set aside a little shopping budget every month and decide what you want to buy before hand. A confident and happy mother makes for a happy family!!

  28. Wow i’m loving it being with such wonderful beauties with awesome brain and hearts here… :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: Love u all :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

  29. Sandhya,
    You are YOUNG and have your whole life ahead of you. Thats the bright side. Hell, thats all the sides! If not today or this year, you would have figured out your style and personality in a few years (that’ll still be probably 25 and usually we are called adults only then πŸ˜‰ I gave myself until then to make mistakes in every sense, lol). Be careful as to where your identity lies and accept it.
    You are a young mother, even better. Your body would have bounced back a lot easier. Which is great! By 30, you would have your family happily sent away to office and schools and have another whole load of doors opening up! (Take it from me, a first time mother after i turned 30)
    If celebrities are a perfect 10 and wearing size 2 pants its because thats their bread and butter. Don’t read too much into it. (each occupation has its insurance and hazards)
    I am sure the ladies here have told you great things about the rest – so I wont go there. Sorry am a bit late to be telling this (and ignore if its a repetition, couldn’t read all of above).
    Best Wishes!

    1. Hi Gaea,
      I liked your comment
      I am 31, still to plan motherhood..Wondering how much Sandhya is sailing through..
      Am working and married with an awesome man & love of my life but constantly become unsure and demotivated about myself because of this pesty weight and hair fall πŸ™‚
      I am feeling high with such lovely replies sent to you.
      Sandhya you are doing a great job, raising a kid..a task in itself. congrats to you..
      Always remember how much you feel low in life there are people who love you the way you are(parents, sibling friends etc) .
      Lots of love..
      Devina

  30. Hi Santhya ,
    U’ve already got loads of abso super suggestions so I’m just going to add 1. Couldn’t resist adding my 2 bits … The above suggestions on weight loss , figuring out ur personal sense of style, tackling ur loneliness are the best ever but will require motivation on ur end.. How bout going to a good hair stylist and changing ur hair – even just the front with a few highlights on the crown will make a massive difference. Absolutely do not forget to chk with stylist how to set it (just the crown ) n a few quick ways to style ur hair n concentrate on just this aspect for a week after. Once u start feeling super nice bout ur hair (thats the one thing that can be changed super quick n will kick start ur motivation levels) u will automatically want to start looking even better n will be able start on the other tips with a lot more gusto!!
    U can be dead sure that the pretiest one out here also had days when she has doubted herself ! So chin up gal and get cracking!!

  31. Hi…. Sandhya….
    Let me remind you dear you are of very very young age… Just the age when we grow into women from being little girls… :happydance:
    And guess what self-doubt is the very first step of this process… So cheer up already girl.. you are way too young to be bogged down by burden of life…
    you are already settled in your life with marriage and your small angel… so that’s the good news…
    Like our friends have already stressed is confidence is the key… and building confidence is very rewarding process and you can do this well inside you home..
    I would like to outline for you some possible steps :-
    1) Start writing a diary, this would let you communicate with yourself.. and please strictly avoid anything depressing in your journal.. maintain the list of details of any small developments you made.. this keeps you happy for rest of the day.. :pompom:
    2) Watch yoga channels.. and try doing some easy yoga asanas.. you can go on walks during sunsets.. this will definitely make you feel lighter and more physically active.. More practical is focusing on feeling healthy rather than trying to drastically loose weight..
    3) learn cooking different recipes .. this is creative work and will also keep your husband happy..
    4) Maintain good relationship with your immediate circle of people, long distance relatives, reconnect with school buddies (social networking, sending small gifts on their birthdays etc)
    5) Reading books to your kid, latest novels. Read your newspaper daily and surprise your husband by showing how well informed you are about the world…

    And I think you should discuss with your husband about your desire to grow into well-rounded a personality , he should be your best support.. that’s what husbands are meant to do… Bangalore is very advanced place where you can easily access professional help as far as courses and other such things are concerned..

    You have already got so many valuable suggestions.. Its only up to you to have some faith and start working on it… I have been also through this phase as a young engineering student at a premier national level institute..feeling isolated and bogged by life instead of being happy with having cleared toughest entrance exam.. It all comes down to you in the end.. All the best Sandhya.. :love:

    Please let all of us know what have you started practicing to reach your goal… :yahoo: :yahoo:

  32. dnt feel dissapointed from ur life……..:):)…..hav a smiile on ua face….nd remember dt wen u ll feel happy…u ll feel beauty inside u……..nd den evrythng will be wnderful…….

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