Notes to My Daughter- 1

Dear Sia, I don’t think you’d get to read these for a long time. I hope some day you and I get to read these together sitting side by side. If I’m not there and we don’t get to do this together, at least you will have your father’s wisdom, his successes and failures as a human, written down for you. Your mom and I, we are not perfect people. We don’t imagine you to have a perfect life either. Nothing can ever be perfect, even a brilliantly written computer program. But know that these two imperfect beings love you a lot. You are the sunshine of our lives. And right now you’re exactly one month old, and we are still learning to clean your potty and make you fart to relieve you of gas so that you can sleep peacefully. And oh, your buttocks were dark when you were born but now they are getting more Pinky with oil massage. Don’t forget to thank us if you post your bikini pics years later on Instagram (or whatever is there at that time) to model your perfect butt. We worked hard on it for your first one month. We need a credit tag.

notes to my daughter

The first thing I would like to tell you is that nothing in life stays the same. And it’s a good thing. Life would be pretty sucky if it did. That said, unfortunately you are gonna have the same parents for your entire life. Sorry for that. You’ll have to grit your teeth and suck that one up. We are not going anywhere. And we’re gonna be present at exactly the moments you want to be rid of us, in order to make you feel more sucky. But hey, we made your butt fair and we cleaned your potty and fed you. We deserve a toy to have our own fun. So suck it up. We’re here. Period. But apart from us, things are going to change; i can tell you about big things right here- school, city, friends, crushes, movies, dresses, brands, heroes, enemies, governments… everything. And you’d change too, internally. You may not realize this though that you have changed. We live our lives in inertia and only change when we are pushed- hell, we don’t even change our grocery store, or bank account, or phone number for years even if the change is good. We change only if we have to- fought with grocery guy, bank account closed for minimum balance, phone bill too much. But change is good. Understand that. Understand that. Change is good. Everything changes, even the things that stay in your life change. Welcome the change. Break the pattern. Do new things. I love your mom. She has changed over the years. I have changed with her over the years. We would not have been together if one of us had refused to change. So, welcome the change, just like you’d like to throw old clothes and buy new ones. Never be bitter that people or things changed. They always do. Except your awesome sexy groovy parents. Remember that.

The second thing I would like to tell you is that most people live in future. People keep worrying about the future. You’d keep on reading about ‘live your life’ or ‘seize the day’ on teeshirts, or hear them from friends when they are drunk. But those friends would wake up tomorrow and rush to their 9-to-5 jobs. Because they are scared about what would happen if they don’t. And ‘what would happen if you don’t’ is the scare about future everyone puts into everyone’s ears in all walks of life. People live all their lives behaving like that in order to make the future good. Hell, people were full of advices when you were born. But we are awesome, sexy groovy parents, remember? We ignored all of it. Through all your growing up, we promise never to put fear of ‘what would happen if you don’t’ in you. We are going to raise you as a free person, and this is the biggest freedom we can give you- not thinking of tomorrow. But hey, you know what would happen if you don’t eat those cereals and drink your milk? You’re gonna get a tight whack. I promise you. But remember, NOBODY has seen the future. Even one second later. I was reading a novel in my IIT hostel common room once (hope it exists when you read this). I was pretty settled and committed to my future for at least an hour. Suddenly, my chair started shaking violently. There was an earthquake in Delhi. We rushed out of the hostel. My novel reading future gone. So know that. You don’t know the future. Live in the present. And if you do only that you’d be the most fucking unique person on earth. Not in future buddy. You’d be most fuckingest awesomest person living on earth right now in present. Oh well, you are only one month old. So yeah, in future I mean. 😛

The third thing I want to say is, be simple and question everything like a kid. Don’t be embarrassed to question things. The world is changed by people who question. Years ago, your mom and I were in Cappadocia, Turkey, exploring an underground city. After one level down, your mom started feeling claustrophobic and rushed outside to the surface (I filmed everything on the camera by the way), and we came out without exploring level 2 or 3. Frankly I had no interest in seeing how people lived without light or air conditioner so I was ok with that. But, I was thinking at that time how do astronauts who are caged in a constrained flying tube for years live. I would be choked and suffocated. Your mom would die of not able to visit Select City Walk, London and Paris, and not shopping. And then I started wondering (while your mom was trying to catch her breath and get over asphyxiation mind you) who the fuck was the person who saw the moon and questioned for the first time in centuries, “hey, can we go there?” and that question may have passed on and taken hold as an idea and made it possible for people to go there. But now it is a done thing. People don’t question it anymore. The world takes so many things for granted now. So babe, always be a kid. Always question things. To your self. Not to others. And not us either. Don’t nag us. We are your parents, not a wikipedia. Just kidding. Actually no. Don’t nag us.

The fourth thing? Love people. I am not saying people are not assholes. They are. But hey, know that you are also an asshole to them. Everyone is an asshole to everyone else. So all good. But all said and done, know that we have come so far because we have the capacity to trust and to love. And people want to love and trust. We would have killed each other already otherwise. As you grow up, you’d trust a lot of people. Some will be good to you and some not-so-good. But learn to love and learn to forgive. You’re gonna waste a lot of time and emotions in hating otherwise. And it’s a stupid way to spend time- being angry at people. Find a boyfriend instead. I’m okay if you get angry at him and want to shoot him. Hell, i would shoot him myself if you ask me to. So all good. In the end, love people. People are inherently good. Some are assholes. Yeah, ok. Love them still. Assholes.

I am done with my word limit for now. And as I’m writing this, I’m missing on you for real. So I’m gonna check on you and feed you some Collicaid. That’s beer and whiskey for newborns.

See ya kid. Grow up as a badass. 🙂

Your dad.

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6 thoughts on “Notes to My Daughter- 1

  1. i was screwed up today….but reading this made me smile……thanks imbb for ua lovely unexpected posts that make people happy…this one is truly amazing…m sure sia is gonna love this in future…

  2. Although it was from one dad to a daughter…m.sure it would be a good message to all daughters! Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful and lovely piece of writing!

  3. keep smiling sia, you never know which photograph of yours will go on your passport..
    your dad always works in 11th hour …

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