Quotes on Women, Makeup and Beauty

I have been into reading nearly all my life. But those millions of pages of Kafkas, Lawrences, Rushdies never taught me how to deal with a women going crazy over Viva Glam. The entire literature world has no idea how dangerous it is to give a credit card into a woman’s hand when she is going to Select Citywalk. I do. As someone said, women would be the last thing civilized by man. Although I had learnt a lot from the jokes post on makeup, it was not enough. So I thought I would search the internet and learn some more things about women and their ways. And I learnt a lot. For example, I learnt why women never are not much into sports. They already play a sport. It is called Shopping. And the quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. And I also learnt that

every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.– Paris Hilton

Now that I cannot pay for the Jaguar, I would have to compensate for it in the other mentioned areas.  😉 Anyhow, given below are some of the insights I gathered from the wise people on the internet. Many of them are on makeup. Enjoy!

“It is better to be looked over than to be overlooked.”– Mae West

“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”  ~Author Unknown

“Can you imagine a world without men?  No crime and lots of happy fat women.”  ~Nicole Hollander

“The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.” “The chief excitement in a woman’s life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. ” ~Helen Rowland

“Women have two weapons – cosmetics and tears” “Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little. ” ~Samuel Johnson

“Curve:  The loveliest distance between two points.”  ~Mae West

“Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.”– Mae West

“It’s the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.”  ~Tallulah Bankhead

“The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.”–Maureen Murphy

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”-  Oscar Wilde

“I’m not against half naked girls – not as often as I’d like to be. ” ~Benny Hill

“It is the plain women who know about love; the beautiful women are too busy being fascinating.”- Katharine Hepburn

“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”

“If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt. ” ~Thomas Carlyle

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.– Mae West

“Kiss and make up–but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.”-  Mae West

“The best thing is to look natural, but it takes makeup to look natural”- Calvin Klein

“I’d have to say that, in general, models take themselves too seriously. Basically, they are genetic freaks who spend a couple of hours in hair and makeup.”– Rebecca Romijn Stamos

“I want to be a guy, but I want to wear a lot of makeup.”– Gwen Stefani

“It is said that no star is a heroine to her makeup artist”– Richard Corliss

“Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl’s best beauty aid is still a near-sighted man”–  Yoko Ono

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.” — Elayne Boosler

“She’s not wearing makeup so her face just looks like skin.”— Chuck Palahniuk

And now for some serious ones:

“When I was your age…I wish I’d known that I already had everything I needed within myself to be happy, instead of looking for happiness at beauty counters.”- Ilene Beckerman

“Isn’t that the problem? That women have been swindled for centuries into substituting adornment for love, fashion (as it were) for passion? All the cosmetics names seemed obscenely obvious to me in their promises of sexual bliss. They were all firming or uplifting or invigorating. They made you tingle. Or glow. Or feel young. They were prepared with hormones or placentas or royal jelly. All the juice and joy missing in the lives of these women were to be supplied by the contents of jars and bottles. No wonder they would spend twenty dollars for an ounce of face makeup or thirty for a half-ounce of hormone cream. What price bliss? What price sexual ecstasy?”–  Erica Jong

Do let us know which one of these truths did you like the most? 🙂

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72 thoughts on “Quotes on Women, Makeup and Beauty

  1. My fav is this ” The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself. ” 😀 😀 😀 😀

  2. Mr. Singh….my jaw dropped and am sitting still like that…………[email protected]……I know all *#^^@#^(@#(@# secrets of you now…. 😉 😉 . I dn’t know whether its fortunate or unfortunate but most of it stands true for me….like nowadays, I feel happy when I see women who are more fat than me and more the count, more relaxed I am, it makes my day!!!!!! 😀 .

    When I am depressed or blue, I go shopping or eat a lot of comfort food (meaning foods with high fat and sugar content).

    Here I would like to quote Helena Rubinstein, who said, ““There are no ugly women, only lazy ones.”

    But, tell me what will be the world without us girls….what would all of guys do? ?:-)

  3. Ha ha….I think the moment the women become extinct on earth, God will take the fuse off earth….men will make the earth so dirty with their empty cans, dirty underwear, and cigarette butts, that God will regret why he made earth in the first place 🙂

    1. But we men would never want our women to vanish… after all, they are the only ones who seem to know where our clothes, underwears and socks are *sigh* 🙂

  4. Nice quotes! I like this one

    A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed

    It reminds me of Chuck from Gossip Girl.
    Something he would say. He is so smooth!
    .-= Sunaina´s last blog ..Happy housewife =-.

  5. of course, God is a “He”….thats why he thought what a bore it would be for other “he’s” and did the other “he’s” by making beautiful creations like women. 😀

  6. of course, God is a “He”….thats why he thought what a bore it would be for the other “he’s” and did the other “he’s” a favor by making beautiful creations like women.

    1. Or maybe he wanted some peace and quiet, and packed women’s bags and sent them to earth… 😛 but we’re not complaining. Women are the only opposite sex we’ve got 😀

  7. great post sanjeev! all the above mentioned quotes are not only witty but also thought provoking. oscar wilde has always cracked me up and this time too, he doesn’t disappoint. “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” excellent… excellent…

    1. Thank you 🙂 There’s one more that I remember by Oscar Wilde-

      A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.

  8. ha ha ha…I think we all have heard of Devdas, who died of cirrhosis after the girl in his life dumped him…..if we compare the ratio of men:women committing suicide in love failure cases, men are way much ahead……….so many men end their lives because they are unable to tolerate the loneliness when women have left them or dumped them…howzzat 😀 :-))

      1. well, I think I have heard of so many people dying in happiness and “overjoyed shock”………and amazingly those “people” comprise of only and only women whose husbands/boyfriends commited suicide, deserted them, dumped them, left them for another woman, divorced them….. 😀

  9. oops…I suffer from “selective amnesia” ………BTW, you have got a lovely human being in your wife….I simply adore her…you must feel so lucky!!!!!!!! Imagine what would you have done, if you landed with somone like Lady Gaga. 😛

    1. Oh Rati and I had decided we would have extramarital with each other in case we got married to someone else. 😀 And yes, everything you have said about her is more than true. 🙂

  10. Really….. 😯 😯 😯 😯 ….but glad you two are together….don’t know you personally, but know from Rati that you are Mr. Right for her…… 🙂 …….but someday, I would wanna write a reply to this post and do a post about men’s behavior….should ask Rati….. 🙂

    1. Oh you can certainly start writing. I am sure she would say yes. 🙂 It would be interesting to read. As for Mr. Right, I would like to be the right kind of ‘wrong’ guy for her. 🙂

  11. Wow Post..!!!

    I loved this one :

    ” The entire literature world has no idea how dangerous it is to give a credit card into a woman’s hand when she is going to Select Citywalk. I do.” – Sanjeev Singh

    Hahaha i can understand after all you have our Beauty Queen for your wife.. but you know the best thing is to look natural but to look natural she needs makeup..!!! 😀

    @Rati: Now i know the secret behind your glow, Sanjeev bhaiya doesn’t treats you like a normal human being..!!! All hail the Queen..!!! 😛 😉

      1. Hahaha..!!! I read about the 29K bill and i was like poor Sanjeev bhaiya and then i read Rati’s comments and got to know that she just spent 7400 and you spent the rest of the amount..!! So, thank god that you have got a wife like her who loves to shop for hubby as well..!!

        But next time when you see her depressed take her out yourself nahi to kitna fatka lagega you never know..!!

        God bless you both..!!! *touchwood*

  12. oh i love this quote
    Women have two weapons – cosmetics and tears” very true although i hate to admit so… :-))

  13. The second weapon is a little lighter on the purse though… but I read further down that women eat or shop when they are depressed..so it comes to the same thing economically. I would rather that my gorgeous wife shops without the tears. 🙂

  14. tsk… tsk… That’s his babes-and-booze money that is going down the blush and concealer way. He should come back to India. Not much fun for him there. 😛

      1. Err… no need for a call. Your shopping list must have ensured that he spends his evening at home, cooks rice or maggi, drinks juice, watches TV, and goes to sleep :rotfl: :rotfl:

          1. You mean he’s rolling into money yet staying at home? Ever heard of a rich guy having virtues? It’s only the poor who have them… :devil: :devil:

  15. hahaha… fun post. I liked this one : “The best thing is to look natural, but it takes makeup to look natural”- Calvin Klein… and to think that its actually true!! Its a discovery I made over the last year as I introduced myself to the world of makeup 😛

  16. just read the links that both Rati and Sanjeev (if I may call you so) posted…..loved it to bits, …..I think we all should join totalgadha.com even if we arent doing our MBA, its total timepass. BTW, I think Rati, you should definately go to Tribhovandas Bhimji Zhaveri the next time your hubby refuses to accompany you for a movie….tell me what happens next? :-)) 😀

  17. No, in fact, its a gesture…..we should all show each other the path that lead to happiness and fulfilment…nirvana….and nirvana in our case is makeup, clothes, and jewerly…so I am just showing Rati one of the three paths…the other two she is an expert herself….. 😀

  18. I don’t know which was more fun…reading the post by Sanjeev or reading the comments 🙂

    As for TBZ and the “platinum” comments, I’m sure my husband will ban me frm following this blog if he reads them 😉 …But what he doesn’t know, can’t hurt him 😀

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