Sexual Harassment: Do Women Really Ask for It?

sexual harassmentThe thought of this article came to me while I was lying on my bed, recovering from viral fever for a week :/ I felt weak and was bored and thought to myself what should my next article be about and it came to me very easy. I wanted to write about things women shy away from, not because they don’t have the guts but because they really want to forget about it, for the better(they think so) . I will be talking about sexual harassment. I am using the term sexual harassment in the physically and psychologically sense.

When a women walks down the street and some men think its okay to say something lewd and people call it eve teasing where as it is sexual harassment , when someone uses the term “eve teasing” they are suggesting the power of eve as the one who tempted Adam into eating the apple; implying that the lady has half the part in being harassed because she was being her usual sensual “eve” self.

It is very easy for people to part with half the problem to a girl. My personal experience differs from these rants of people telling women that they “asked for it”. I was a very bubbly and chirpy kid , in a convent institution with only girls around me. When I was 10 years old our school took us all on a trip to Bangalore and I was addressed with the “accident” a group of 30 girls was with me in the accident , we were touched at the wrong places and we barely knew what was happening. I was 10 years old ! how did I ask for it ? how did all the other 10 year olds ask for it ?

The damage was done, I was scared of men since I was 10 years old , while growing up I hated them because I felt all would do the same thing , then I grew up, forgot about it. Then it happened again and this time it was the worst thing that has happened to me since , I wont say it here (to disgusting) but the result was that I could not go in a crowded place or outside at night because I felt something bad might happen and I always needed some male to go with me. I still remember that I went to Goa in 2008 and I refused to go outside at night because I was scared , I only went because my male friends said they would accompany me.

The real issue is not behind what men do but why do they do it ? do they feel they can get away with it ? do they not feel any punishment will be served or they just feel this is the course of the society? the answer is all of the above. The men who eve tease have no psychology problem but they have seen it happen while growing up thus they don’t see anything wrong with It, its like second nature to them. I am not justifying their negative actions, I am just explaining why they do what they do. For these men the act is of empowering, they think they can show women where they really belong but what ends up happening to a girl is not just that but a much deeper bruise.

Women who have been harassed sexually as a child or an adult do not talk about their problems because they feel like there will be no result generating from it. Sigmund Freud who was the founder of psychoanalysis now known as psychology felt that due to these issue being repressed in a women’s deep psyche a women tends to become “hysteric” which leads to the stereotype of women being “moody , guided by their want and not need” . Although feminists today do not like Freud’s analysis of the female mind (okay okay I lied, they hate him: P) , they feel like he makes women seem mental and have no control over our bodies because of the abuse we suffer . The reality is we do suffer sexual abuse every day, be it straightforward or indirect but that does not mean we can not make
decisions for our self .

That being said, do not assume that men do not go through sexual harassment, its just that we do not hear about it much . Men too suffer sexual abuse and it is as difficult for them to talk about it because its not just the man’s sexual abuse but also his helplessness which is shown. His ability to protect his own dignity or body is questioned . There have been so many issues in which an elder man has sexually assaulted young men ( case in point the vice principal of Ramjas college was suspended because there were charges against him of sexually assaulting male students ) . I do not really think men have the issue of women sexually assaulting them by name calling but this is just my opinion you never know if that might happen to some men .

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We have to raise awareness against this , say something when a girl is being stared at or being indecently treated . We have to also educate men about the equal status of women, stop teasing your 5 year old nephew or son about how many pretty girlfriends he has , he will start thinking of them not as friends but some “thing” different , something which has to be “pretty” and “cute”. He will start thinking of girls as the “other” and that is the real seed of Satan.

For the women who have suffered sexual harassment or are suffering please You have to TALK ABOUT IT, you can talk about it to your mother , sister , father , shrink and anybody but talk about it. Let someone know that something happened to you , you will feel less depressed try to fight it , fight the feeling of being scared . I did I can walk alone in a crowded place now because I have realized I am stronger than those stupid guys staring at me. I won’t let them destroy me and my life that’s what they can never be. Like me and never be WITH a woman like me or you

If you are in Delhi and feel harassed in any manner please contact the Delhi police at- 1091 & 011-24121234
If you are in Mumbai and feel like sharing your story please visit this blog http://mumbai.ihollaback.org/

P.S- This is just my personal opinion which is definitely biased because of my personal politics so please don’t feel offended .

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100 thoughts on “Sexual Harassment: Do Women Really Ask for It?

  1. Very good piece of write up 🙂 there was this thing happened.I was representing a company at a very big exhibition.It was a 3day exhibition.There were counters assigned to all companies.There was this counter opposite mine.Some company from Noida.These two men they’d just stare and stare and stare and smile.I mean literally all the time,so much so that one reaches heights of being uncomfortable.One of them even came upto my table passed his visiting card and asked me to call.I kept it inside,so that i could complain to his boss.I got so pissed and decided to complain,and i did on the 2nd day.They were so supportive.I think its very important that one becomes open about it and NOT feel shy.That feeling is so creepy when you face such situations

  2. I really loved this article Komal !! You have a very frank approach to this issue which has dreaded several women of our age. :clap: :clap: :thanks:

  3. A very nice write-up Komal. I completely agree with you on talking abt this with someone because I had an incident which happened when I was a small kid probably 12 yrs of age. It didn’t just get out of my mind even when I was 21. Then I shared it with my beau and only after that daunting incident got out of my mind.
    And here in chennai, especially when one travels by bus, there are so many harassments that girls tend to be quiet about. At least soem of us had the courage to ask them to move or shout at them but I know many who don’t do that and put up with everything and cry. But there was this one girl whom I really admired. She slapped the guy who harassed her in the bus, dragged him out of the bus and took him to the police. And she had some male friends who helped her take the guy down. This hpnd yrs ago but I still admire that girl’s courage.

  4. What a great article. I think you got to the point without being too emotional and biased. It’s sad that when a women is sexually abused, she has to prove herself and only then will she be treated like the victim. She has to be the one worrying about what she wears, how she acts, where she walks, and at what time. When the thing society should really be worried about is how men are raised and the way they see women. And sexual abuse should be taken seriously. A lot of the time families try to cover it up and make it go away. It’s sad because the victim may never learn to deal with it. I have learnt to deal with my abuse, but I may not be so lucky. As a feminist I am learning so much about rape culture and how societies are so quick to tell a women she deserved it.

    1. Jennifer , do you study feminism 😀 what studies are you pursuing ? i am a student of literary theory myself so i have some feminism studies as well 😀

      1. Oh I don’t study feminism. I just am one. I do a lot of reading on the internet and talk to a lot of women my age. I wish I had a chance to study feminist theory and womens studies. Maybe in the future 🙂 But it’s really sad the amount of abuse I’m seeing in just these comments. Even though almost all women have been through some sort of abuse, this is not such a big topic in our worlds.

  5. Komal, this is an amazing article and straight from the heart which makes it even more effective..Similar things happened to me as well..If I recall rightly, I guess Imust have been 7 or 8 yrs..It just felt wrong but I dint know whether it was or not so I never told anyone..But the scars remain…And again when I was 13-14 I had another horrible incident with a stalker and needed police intervention….I dont want to get into the specifics but it scarred me for a long time..Apart from the fact that I couldn’t go near guys, it also resulted in alot of guilt..Especially when I recalled that the guy had to be deported and his family had come to my home to plead with my parents to drop charges…The guilt and the memories never quite go away do they…M just thankful for my family who supported me thru all of it….Alot of people don’t even have that luxury…

  6. GR8 article Komal :toothygrin: :toothygrin: an incident happened wit me wen i was in the 6th std…we were on a tour and in one place while my family was out i came back to the car and the driver started talking shit things :weep: :weep: :weep: I didnt know how to react and ran away to my dad :weep: i culdnt tell anyone abt it and i felt so ashamed :quiet: :quiet:

  7. I was working in a company. Their national head was taking round of the country offices. he had a 1 day stay here and the next day he has to fly to kolkata. this guy had already resigned from the company and he was just visiting the regional offices for the last bit of training he could offer to the regional heads and employees. We had a training on the first day in evening and then this guy decided to take men in office for dinner and drinks. This guy got drunk and started calling me at around 10 pm. Out of courtesy I picked up the call and said hi hello, had some official talk and kept the phone. Then he sent me 1-2 random messages. This guy got drunk and made another call at 11. I didn’t pick the phone then.. He kept making calls. I finally switched off the phone at around 12. When I switched on the phone at around 1 am, there were 32 missed calls from this guy’s number.

    The very next day in morning I complained about this guy to HR and other heads at the Head office in mumbai. the “loser” men at my office asked me not to complain about this guy because acc to them he would ruin my career. i still went ahead and complained about this guy. Thankfully my company was supportive enough and took my complain positively. I was very scared because of the mental harrasment I went through last night and also the men in my office were least supportive. That guy was terminated from his duties that very day. The company made sure that he did not call me or threaten me. Still my office guys made me talk to him once. he was sort of crying and was asking me to take my complaint back. I did not take my complaint back because I wanted this to be a lesson for my office men as well. Oh! And that guy had two daugters and a wife .

    I think women should really stand up at such incidents. if we don’t stand for ourselves no one else would.

    1. whoa rati Hats off to u :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :yahoo: Even one of my lecturer at college misbehaved wit moi fnd…called her wen he was alone in the staffroom and told her tat her lips looked so eatable and touched her butt :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :spank: :spank: wen she told us we askd her to complain but she was very afraid of ruining her name in the process and never complained and didnt let us also :weep: :weep: He is still taking classes for us :spank: :spank:

    2. Kudos for your courage :victory: :victory: :victory: I have heard of such stories…but most women put up with it! you’ve been extremly brave & that paid off :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho:

      1. yeah Niharika. it was quite a bold step because that guy was almost heading the country’s department. I asked my office men if the same incident would hve happened with their sister or mother they would have still sat quietly. They didn’t have an answer. sheer losers! :loser:

        1. GUTSY!! :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: Most others would have chosen their career over the harassment, specially when others scare you instead of supporing you!
          :finger :finger :finger :poop: :poop: :poop: to that boss, colleagues & that army officer.

  8. I was 9-10 years old and we were coming back from a trip. While getting down , an army official walked pretty close to me and tried to touch my private parts. i was got very scared and I quickly started walking infront of my dad. We got down the train and i don’t know where that guy came from again and got successful touching me again. I had a helpless expression on my face and that guy was smirking at me. i still can’t forget that expression. It does haunt me till today.

    1. :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: to such horrid maless….
      :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: & hugggsss rati

          1. :spank: :spank: There are so many scandalous officers :spank: :spank: they should be ripped of their jobs :hunterwali:

    2. I so hate it when these army officials behave this way you know,I always feel proud of our country’s army,but some times these army men really bring that down.
      I was at a new year’s party,with my friends in the Army Cantt. and even my friends’s parents were there,we were on the dance floor and this army official,all drunk,came up to me and literally grabbed me,for a few seconds I was in surprise and didnt know what to do..Thank god for my 6 feet tall friends who fought with him and his very sweet dad who got the army guy suspended for a week

        1. Me meant tall 😐 😐 😐
          Oh wait..I wrote tall only 😛 😛 Rati,you read also typos :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin: :toothygrin:

  9. I so agree with you Komal on the fact that “when harassed dont feel guilty and share it with closest of your family or friends”.
    The awareness is a lot now than before…am not sure if someone misbehaved with me when i was 8/9 yrs i would not even realize that it was a harassment. With a daughter who is 5 yrs i am always paranoid and keep educating her about “good touch” and “bad touch”…. and wish sex education starts really early in school tooooo…..

    1. very nice article Komal…. and i agree with you Priya….. though kids these days are better informed than us when we were their age but it is still scary outside…..

    1. FG your comment is neither in moderation nor is spam. 🙁 my be you could use the back button in your browser, see if the comment is still there and repost it?

  10. Such an amazing & sensitive article! M so overwhelmed…It’s so true that eve teasing is on the rise because most of the losers know they can get away with it :loser: :loser: :loser: I too grew up with this FEAR of MEN…at a point of time I thought all men were like this & longed to have a world without the MASCULINE GENDER…that would be so LIBERATING!!! I think all these issues of eve teasing & sexual abuse has stunted my growyh as a person, because that fear still lurks. I was around 8 yrs old when i got to know of what miserable things can happen to a girl, that scared the hell out of me, from that day I have been living with that fright! I am too scared to step out of my house alone, so m hugely dependant on my parents which makes me feel so ashamed of myself 😥 😥 😥 Girls like me would have been much more confident & happy had these things not existed! Like you said I should’nt ruin my life because of such people, but i find it so tough to overcome my anxiety…have been trying really hard, but in vain :(( …when i was young i used to dress up shabbily because I didn’t want to attract wrong attention, m sceptical about every man around me…all these things make it so tough to live! I don’t know when I will be able to get rid of these thoughts & fears!

    1. :puchhi: tk cre f urself..nd it doesnt matter hw u dress up..dese wolves dont see anythng dey jst want a gal..

      1. That is true. A survey shows that the women are equally harrased either they are in short cloths or in sari/suits.

      1. I learnt swimming when i was in the 6th std, my dad wanted me to take it up seriously so he forced me to join coaching classes. The place where i joined is one of the shadiest places in b’lore, it’s very lonely and dirty. but because it was the only 50m pool closest to my place i had no other option…it had the dirtiest pool, disgusting changing rooms without latches, broken tube lights. That place had no security, & anyone could walk in. I used to feel terribly uncomfortable to stand in a swim suit as i noticed all the dirty stares…but one day i had the most horrid experience. Our coaching would go on till 8pm, most of my friends would leave in their bath robes as their parents would accompany them & they preferred to stay away from the changing room, but i had no other option as i had to wait alone for my dad to pick me up. once when i was changing, i suddenly heard someone banging at the door, the latch opened but i quickly resisted, some one was pushing very hardly banging & kicking the door. Scared for my life I started shouting…then i heard a girl laughing, i later got to know it was one of my seniors mischief! that incident still gives me shivers. My parents always forced me to swim because they wanted me to grow tall, if i refused they would only scold & curse me for being lazy. Even if i would have spoken about these things my would have supported me, but dad would have never ever understood!-(( I dread to think what if that day it would have been someone else…what if things would have gone really wrong…I hate to swim even today because of that nightmare!

          1. :puchhi: :thanks: The one next to the ulsoor lake…dirty lake, dirty pool & dirty people:sick: :sick: :sick:

        1. Nikarika, it’s sad that such an incident happened. All these little things affect us psychologically somewhere and leave an impression on us for life.. :(( *hugs*

            1. awh dont worry Niharika…… :puchhi: :puchhi:
              just try once to face it….go out….just keep one thing in ur mind that u r Strong…..nothing wrong will happen…. u will get the courage to face such things…

              1. I try doing that but get so scared that i just feel like running away! :((
                Actually i also suffer from anxiety disorder & depression, i was on anti-depressants for 3 yrs…so these things add to my fears…anyway thank you, i’ll keep trying 🙂 :thanks:

                1. Niharika noone can help you but yourself , ive learnt it too. If you think your scared , you will be . My personal tip , Boxing 😀 search on youtube for MUA thai , search for docthailand , its a youtube channel and it teaches fabulous Mua thai which is also known as kick boxing BELIEVE ME !!!! its amazing

                  1. I know only I can help myself, that’s the biggest lesson i’ve learnt in life, no matter how much others have ruined your life at the end of the day only your responsible for present & future :(( 😥 😥 😥 … :thanks: for the tip i’ll surely check it out!

                    1. i started it because i needed to loose a little weight and i like air boxing 😛 THIS is really good 😀 :victory: :victory: :victory: :victory:

  11. amazing article komal..brught tears in ma eyes..it jst reminded me of so many bad memories i hve..smetimes i hate maself fr being touched by many cheap persns..ndi hve hardly tld any1 abt it..smetimes i hve tld to ma bf bt nt all f dem//fr a simple reasn.i wanna frget dat all..once i was driving ma scooty nd few guys were trying to talk to me i was listening to sngs wid ma earphnes..dey got frustrated nd dey tried to touch me at wrng place..i was so shocked..i stood on d main road fr 5 mnts..i cudnt thnk of nehng..i called ma bf nd i started crying at phne..he was in his class..wiz z so far frm dat place..he asked me to cme to ma parking place nd he came dere widing 30 mnts nd hugged me soo tightly..i can never frget dat..

      1. That was so supportive of you bf!& :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :ghost2: :ghost2: :ghost2: :spank: :spank: :spank: for those losers :loser: :loser: :loser:

        1. thnx gals..after ma bf u gals r d nly people i ve tld dis..thnx fr giving me dis mch courage..luv u all..

  12. lovely article komal… hats off to u…even i hv a daughter who is 5 yrs old,i m scared to send her alone anywhere,bcoz of all d unpleasent memories we all women hold of bein harrassed…i feel these dirty b******ds should be hanged for spoilin our memories!!!

    1. Mahira you should educate her about the difference between bad and normal touch and you should tell her to always be alert . it would also help if you could make her join any self defense classes because it will not only boost her confidence , but will help her body grow better and will make her a very active person . age of 6 is really good for kids to join such things 🙂

      1. ya komal,i do teach her such things ,nd thnx to d govt of india they made an advertisement on child abuse titled “wake up kid” my job became quite easier!! thats a gr8 initiative frm d govt of india,it may help many children…
        but i still fear,i dunno y maybe coz such incidents hv been a part of my life too…but now i know how to payback such ppl…
        u know dis 1 incident happnd to me sum 4 yrs bck,i ws travellin wid my mom in law in a rickshaw(i hv been married in a small town) nd ws stuck in traffic jam,dis 1 fellow ws followin me and passing bad remarks on my body n wat not…being a mumbai girl i cared a damn about which town i hv shifted to,i juz looked back nd gave him a nice gaali nd scolded him.. u know wat he ws scared to death n ran like he ws runnin 4 his life… a*****e

  13. Very well written Komal. It does happen with every girl. I think it is parents duty also to freely talk to their son that he should not do things like this with any other girl.

  14. A very nice article Komal ! I didnt know Eve teasing was derived from that..and its still holds true,even now if a girl is eve teased,most of the people blame the girl for dressing in a wrong manner and attracting wrong attention !

  15. I think that all the moms who are reading this and have a girl child should always take care of two things:
    1. protect their girl from going through any of these incidents.
    2. tell her about these kinds of things at a very young age and make her bold enough to talk about this if ever this happens and haul these men (in public if possible) whenever they attempt something like this.

    1. You’re right! But more importantly young boys should be taught how to respect women…The attitude in our country boys can grow up the way they want to & all the restrictions are for the girls, this kind of treatment makes them feel superior.

  16. hey guys 🙂 thanks for such a awesome reaction . there is no electricity in my house since 11.30 in d morning :p so cudnt reply. abhi bhi i am on my phone :p . i hope this article made a diffrence 🙂

  17. komal lovely article….i underwent these things when i was in school….dont wanna elaborate…all those are bad memories…now i know how to give back to such ppl :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

  18. Really good article Komal…..I my self have faced such things so many times…..But wen I was in college I learned to teach these bas***** a lesson then and thr…….. One day wen i was going to my college in bus a guy kept on winking at me…. I ignored it several times but he dint stopped……..wen the bus reached dhaula kuan i decided to fight back(coz i knew that i wont be able to forgive myself for not saying anything to him and my college was just one bus stand away from thr)……jab maine usse gaaliyaan deni shuru ki…….evrybody in the bus got stunned….jitni gaaliyaan aati thi sab de daali…..nobody was able to make out whom i am abusing…….thr was a girl sitting next to me i asked her to say something (coz earlier that guy was continuesly harassing her wen she was standing next to him)..so i asked her to say something…and u know wat she said (very proudly) that “main inn logo ke muh nahi lagti”……kasam se…itta gussa aya mujhe uss idiot ladaki par…..maine bhi keh diya ki u r doing such a great thing by not raising ur voice against such bas***** and very soon u will get a nobel price dont worry…..
    and that guy got down form the chalti hui bus………..

  19. I am glad to say that till now i havent had any nightmarish experiences,some time or another whilst traveling in the public bus,guys have given me dirty stares and i just went upto this guy once and asked him whats wrong with all the ppl in the bus watching me and he went real quiet and said nothing..
    But because of reading about things that go around in this place,i always carry 2 extra safety pins hidden under my unifrom tie and once a conductor tried to graze my baak..i saw that he actually did the same to a gal standing close to me..so i got out the oins and just held this pin in my hand pointing outwards near baak…like i had kept it there casually..and when his hand actually grazed my baak..all he got was poked by the pin…….the guy cudnt say anything..he just gave me this really angry look and waled away..and even tho i went in d best all of last year..he never tried anything like that with me ever again…
    From my experience..two thing i have realized is:
    *Younger guys dont do these kinda horrible stuff..they throw u sum signals and flirty looks and if we dont thrw any looks baak..they let us be…but the older men are always the perverts who take pleasure in scaring the crap out of girls younger than his daughter….!!!
    *another thing is that they thrive on the fact that women wont make any noise or react because they will be afraid of their reputation like shweta’s frnd was..but fact is…they are all scared little boys who will probably die frm emotional breakdown if they actually got caught…!! what gals need to do is what Rati did…just show them their place..otherwise they might do something worse someday to someone else who doesnt have a voice….

    AND @komal–You did a great job of bringing light and making gals here on IMBB share the stories they arent comfortable with sharing and made us think about a thing that actually matters..Hats off..!! :waytogo: :waytogo: and :thanks: :thanks:

  20. komal… :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :hugleft: :hughright: and also for all the girls out there who suffered :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: even i suffered this harrasment countless times not only from strangers but also from some of my dirty family members(those who come under ‘bhaiyya’ and ‘bhai’ categories) 😐 😐 😐 i always fought back when strangers did such things but i was totally helpless when a family memeber does that!! :weep: :weep: :weep: only my sister and bf know about them..i feel like slapping them so hard when they behave like that..but i just can’t.. i am sure that one day when i lose my patience i’ll fight back.. :zombiekiller: :zombiekiller: :zombiekiller: :violinbash: :violinbash: :violinbash: :spank: :spank: :spank: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :poop: :poop: :poop: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: :finger :finger :finger

    1. So true sireesha, it’s easier to fight back a stranger but when a family member who should protect you, is the offender it’s so shocking that you would’nt know how to react :(( :(( :(( But you should fight back, or they become more confident as they know they can get away with it :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :spank: :spank: to such ‘bhaiyas’ and loads of :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :hugleft: :hughright: :hugleft: :hughright: HUGS TO YOU!

      1. i agree niharika..they are so confident that they can get away with all of this.. but not anymore.. this time i am gonna show them their place! :finger :finger :finger

        Thanks for all the support and encouragement you lovely girls are giving me.. :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :-* :-* :-* This is why IMBB is called a FAMILY..Love you all… :hugleft: :hughright: :hugleft: :hughright: :hugleft: :hughright: :-* :-* :-* :weep:

    2. sireesha ! i know what you are talking about , the same crap happened with a friend of mine and its just purely revolting . it just makes you question the whole concept of the “big indian family” . it dosent happen in all families but when it does its disgusting to hear about :/ people who are suppose to protect you turn to becomes the reason you need to be protected :/ I Hope you do get fed up one day and go all MATA on them . my mother says ” one women is always looking to compromise but there comes a time when she completely looses her power to do so and the only option is of destruction because she has had enough and she can burn everything anything that comes in her way and everything gets destroyed” i know it sounds melodramatic but ive seen it happen with so many women . when they loose it all hell breaks loose . they do say ” hell hath no fury like a women scorned”
      SHOW THEM

        1. sireesha..all d best fr it..plz do it..m nt sayng dis jst to encourage u..m saying dis coz i too hve faced it frm a cousin f mine nd i didnt say nethng coz i didnt want to distroy ma family ..i want u to tk revenge fr me also..if u show dem..i ll be really very happy… :puchhi:

  21. this was such a good article komal…
    since people don’t talk about it much or deny going through such incidents i used to think why am i the one? and now that i read all of ur comments the confused guilt feeling kind of lightened to some extent.
    i would like to comment on the dressing part, if i ever tend to speak out about it to friends they usually give a look that u noe u dress up like that and stuff, but i tell u what… co incidentally the incidents which have been on the extreme end have always and i mean always happened to me when i was wearing salwar kameez or jeans and loose dark coloured shirts… in short completely dhaka hua…
    not that i have not heard dose cheap songs and dialogues while wearing shorts or something but like grabbing and people flashing etc etc have happened in “covered clothes” … so where the hell does clothes play the role? i so want to kill dese men or rather torture dem so bad…

    1. hey shreya ,i m always clad in a burkha but still i hv beenn thru harrassments end number of times… so its nothin like clothes play an important role,coz i m always covered more than a normal girl covers herself,ryt na? but these idiots dnt spare any1..

      1. u r so right mahira, and yet we always hear that the girl must have done something… it is always the girl’s fault and rules imposed on her. and if u go to report cases the police would mock so bad…

  22. i cried reading ur article, and all the incidents happened with all ma friends above….
    weren’t we supposed to be the most beautiful creature made by god? each and every girl is a angel in herself if u just show that u love her.. god made us beautiful for others to live beautifully, but sadly this beauty is no longer present in this world.. because for today men they only c the body and try to do bad bad things..
    every beautiful average or ugly girl had a beautiful angelic face from inside, but now, there is no single girl who is beautiful from inside. if u try to c, u’ll c a hurted, cried, beaten,scared helpless girl.. thats wat god most beautiful creature r now. scared, hurted and cried…

  23. I think most of the incidents happen and leave a scar behind, because girls have never been educated on sexual abuse. And surprisingly it was taboo topic in the society……When I think abt my experience, I to am filled so much hate myself that why did I never told my mom……I did…much later…..and that also 1/4 of the details….he was my tution sir when I was in school….sixty year old man….and I had to tell my mom, so as to avoid referrals……to other friends…..
    Anyways I did get good marks in Math because of him, but in my dreams, I still slap him and punch him in the face….and seriously I am hoping he is dead as well…..he might have done this to so many other girls.

  24. lovely article Komal :hugleft:

    each and everyone of us would hav faced this at some point in our lives….
    but how many would dare to react?
    hope this article makes a difference :clap:

  25. Thanks for the article Komal! Just reading all the comments is so amazing. I feel the girls who never faced this are a minority.. the girls and women who have been harassed are the norm. That is so upsetting when I think about it. Reading all these comments. I want to say how much I love the feeling of togetherness among IMBB community 🙂

    1. Thats the reason why i wrote this article mahima , i wanted all the girls here to know that all of us go through it and i wanted them to tell their experiences so we at least have some people we can share it with 🙂

  26. komal,, u deserve 3 things from my side……………

    One
    :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

    Two
    :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho: :jaiho:

    Three
    :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi: :puchhi:

  27. Just yesterday we were discussing this topic, & this morning i read an article on BT about how a 20 smtn girl was manhandled by drunken guys in the akon rock concert that happened recently in the city. The pic shows that others just quietly stood & stared at what was happening instead of helping that poor girl :finger :finger :finger

    It’s not the first time in B’lore, even during new year parties these things happened. So the police this yr told the girls to stay away…It’s so horrible what kind of society we are living in. Instead of punishing those perverts the people conveniently tell the women to stay away, & miss out on all the fun! :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali: :hunterwali:

  28. i used to travel to school by BEST buses from 8th standard…and it was quite a long distance (thane to powai) Since i used to be in uniform, they thought i was just another helpless kid. But i proved them wrong. i had heard about such incidents before and my mother too had warned me that men will try to get touchy, and that i should protest and shout so that the crowd will support me. So one fine day, a young man,presumably in his late twenties, well dressed corporate kinda guy and seemed from a good family too, came and stood next to me, as i was seated on the aisle seat, he took the liberty of rubbing his crotch(for lack of a better word… 😛 ) on my shoulder. i shrugged it off the first time thinking it was due to the bus moving and jerking. but then, it happened again, and again and suddenly the rubbing became…uh..well….’rhythmic’ 😛 i knew immediately something was fishy and i looked upto him and said, “excuse me,stand properly”. He just nodded and smiled(a dirty one at that) and pretended to move a little bit. But it started again. this time i had had enough and decided to act upon it… i folded my arm and pretended to rub my nose on my wrist and BAM! i hit him HARD on his balls with my elbow. It was one quick, but firm and hard movement of my hand and i am pretty sure it hurt him bad! i saw his knees bend slightly and he moved away..i looked up at him and his face looked painful! like this :stars: :stars: he then never came back to my seat for the rest of the 20 min journey… thereafter i have always used this trick to save me..sometimes when i am standing in the bus, men rub themselves on my back…that time, i stomp hard on their feet and they move back..
    it’s just sad that these things happen and women have to face all this. But i have never been afraid to attack back. and one thing i know for sure is that you should never keep quite. Seek help or shout in the crowd and attack in whichever way possible. These perverts fear the crowd. Also, dont step back in helping someone who is facing a situation like this. A friend of mine was being troubled by a man on a scooter. he was passing lewd remarks and making perverted gestures at her..i went upto him shouted “abey kaam dekh na apna….maar khane ka hai kya ladki ke haat se? chal bhaag idhar se!” i dint care that he was more than 40 yrs old and i was just 17 at that time…but i was infuriated. a few more men came around and asked us if he was troubling us. but before i could answer, he sped away on his chetak.. i think i just wrote a novel here… 😛

    1. You are such a daredevil Ramya!! :jaiho: I salute your courage!!!! :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:

      1. thankyou Cali!!! :heart: :heart: :heart: i somehow get infuriated when such perverts behave in a degrading manner and i somehow get all the courage to revolt…

    2. bravo ramya..me too hve dne siimilar hng many times..1nce i was cmng frm ma school in auto..d uncle sitting next to me tried touchng nd pinching ma waist..1nce i tld hm to shift a bit bt den next time i ucked hm so hard wid ma elbow dat he wa like oouch..nd everybdy else sitting in auto understood wat happened nd he got dwn immidiately out f embarrasment..nw m feeling gud.. :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

  29. typo error..i meant i kicked hm so hardd wid ma elbow..i guess kick z nt appropraite wrd here..bt m liking it..i kicked hm..heeh :toothygrin:

    1. hehe..!! wonderful!!! they iught to be treated that way! they try to embarrass us, but we should embarrass them… quid pro quo!

  30. Amazing article! It takes so much courage to write about such a taboo article, and it takes so much courage for the others to write about their own experiences in the comments. I’m so profoundly moved and inspired by this. I’ve had my own terrible experiences & I think these creeps target little girls, because when we’re young we think it’s our fault, that we are responsible for this “dirty” thing & we can’t tell our parents or they won’t love us anymore. It breaks my heart to know this is happening to our little girls.

    It doesn’t just happen in India & it doesn’t just happen to little girls. Predators exist everywhere & they choose their prey carefully. When I was in graduate school here, in the US, I had a dirty old professor who would follow me around & make suggestive comments. He was an American, Full Professor, very respected & I was just a foreign graduate student. My fellow students told me not to complain or I’d get kicked out. But I couldn’t handle it anymore & so went, first to my advisor, then with him to the Chair of the Department & then with both of them to the Dean of the College. They took it very seriously, put it on his records & told him never to come near me again. I later found out that he targeted International students because they didn’t know the rules & laws against sexual harassment in the country/state/city/university and so were less likely to complain.

    I also have a very creepy uncle. I’ve spoken to family members about him & they tried to shush it up. But now the women in my family are aware of it, stay away from him & keep their kids away from him. I don’t care if I’m called hysterical as long as I can stop one more child from having a bad experience.

    And in conclusion, How many of you have seen Monsoon Wedding & loved how Naseeruddhin Shah handled this issue?? 🙂

    Stay strong & beautiful, ladies!! You are an inspiration to me and all those you encounter

    1. hey Swapna, thanks for sharing. I am going to be flying to USA next year for further studies. I am glad that you shared this so now i know whom to approach if i face a similar situation..which i pray i shouldn’t :suspense: :suspense: :suspense:
      n i loved your last line.. 🙂

  31. GREAT article!!!…I haateee pervs. the first time it happened to me was when i was 12 and in kerala, i was travelling by train in the night. and while sleeping this fellow(idk who he was or annyything) put his hand inside my shirt. I was sleeping and i thought it was my mother waking me up because we had reached where we needed to but NO! I was greeted by this creep who looked like he must be in his late 30’s. I tried to hold on to him and shout but I couldn’t because I was so scared since it was something that never happened to me before(my mom has told me abt the “good touch” “bad touch” but seeing it happen was….scary). I woke my whole family up but that fellow had already gotten down i guess.
    the second time it happened again I was in kerala and there was some mela and we had gone there. Some guy WITH A KID IN HIS HANDS was getting veeerry frisky with evry woman in his path so i used my nails to pinch his hands.

    But I loove my cousin sister. Whenever she sees anyone staring at her or smirking dirtily, she instead of looking away angrily(like I do most of the time), starts abusing the guy. And just yesterday when we were in one of those shared autos some guy sitting behind her started trying to rub her back and she abused him like no tomorrow. I hate these pervy guys. And its so horrible when u complain to the police n they’re like “aap logon ne kapde kaise pehne hai” (is wearing t shirts that say “cant touch this” like a challenge to such pervs?)

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