By Shainee Chakraborty
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through,
How you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
– Haruki Murakami
No matter, how terrible or broken your relationship is, but a breakup is always painful. The worst part is explaining the pain you feel to others because it is hard to make them understand it in words. You can explain a disease but unfortunately, there are no appropriate words in any dictionary to explain a heart break. The pain is inevitable and a part of you dies, when a relationship breaks. Even though it seems impossible now, but you can get over him.
You do not have to stay strong, if you don’t feel like. Just cry your heart out and you might feel better. Cry so much that once you stop, you don’t feel like crying ever again for the same reason.
Go far away from all the familiar places to an unknown city for a long relaxed or an adventures holiday, either with your friends or family. Explore every nook and corners of the streets, meet new people and try new cuisines. Discover your inner self, the real you, amidst the new surrounding and new people. This will help you to forget the old and ‘the might have been’.
Think About Others:
Whenever the pain becomes unbearable, remind yourself that there are people right now, who are fighting cancer or whose loved one is dying in a hospital. Some might never get that second chance that you have. Ask yourself, is your situation really worse than theirs? Join any NGO. When you will see that so many people are suffering, your own suffering will look small to you. This might help you to get over your ex.
Let It Go:
Let him go from your mind and heart. Have you ever wondered that why does it hurt so much? It is because most of the time, our ‘ego’ is hurt. We find it hard to accept that someone can leave us. But like they say, “If you truly love someone, you set them free”.
Forgive yourself for it was not entirely your fault. Forgive him. Until, forgiveness comes naturally from deep inside, you cannot move forward in life and you will find it hard to get over your ex.
Think About All The Perks of Being Single:
Now that you have lots of breathing space for yourself, how about enjoying that space as long as it lasts? Welcome this new change with open arms. Enjoy your ‘me’ time or do something creative. Work hard in your office and reward yourself with a promotion. Utilize your single relationship status to be first grade version of yourself.
Open Your Heart and Mind:
Let new ideas and new people come into your life. It is not that you have to date someone immediately to fill that empty space. But don’t build high walls around you because of your past. Don’t hold yourself back. Give love another chance and another and another, until love finally finds you and trust me, love will find you again. Like, Paulo Coelho said, “If you’re brave to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello”.
Press That ‘Delete’ Button:
Do not enter into the “friend zone” with your ex until you’re completely over him. It might take 1 or 2 years. Delete his number and delete him from all the social networking sites. Don’t be his ego booster or his option.
Just A Phase:
Remember that you’re not alone, everybody goes through this phase at least once in their lives and everybody overcomes it too. So, you too will get over him, just give it some time. Five years from now, trust me, it would become a tiny thing from a big issue and you will laugh about it.
They say that nothing goes away, until it has taught you something. So, don’t think that you have wasted so much of your precious time on nothing. You must have learnt something and be thankful for those lessons in life. Only experiences make you wise. No pain, no gain or rather should I say know pain, know gain.
Lastly, wear your scars like a medal. Be proud of who you are or what you have become after the storm. I hope my tips help you to get over your ex. A big hug to all the girls, who are going through this difficult phase in life. Stay strong and love yourself.
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