“The falling out of lovers is the renewing of love”
Robert Burton
We love watching or reading “happily ever after” stories. A romantic book or film always ends at happily ever after. But no one knows what happens after that. Do they really live happily ever after, deeply and madly in love with each other? Is that humanly possible? Then why do media create such non-realistic image? And why do we always shy away from the truth?
Probably because we all love talking about falling in love but we never admit that something like “falling out of love” also exists or is possible. Well, it does happen all the time when the honeymoon period of knowing and falling is over. Most of the modern day breakups or divorces happen due to the fact that one of the partners has fallen out. But breaking up for this reason is not a sane thing to do in my opinion. The challenge in every relationship especially in the long term is to reignite the spark as often as possible once the honeymoon period is over.
Here are the 15 signs to validate your greatest fear of falling out of love with your partner:
1) You avoid spending time together. You always look for friends or family to join you for dinner, lunch or cinemas. Even going for a holiday together once in a year doesn’t sound good to you. You always wish that there was another person when you’re together.
2) You don’t feel like reverting his calls or messages. In fact, you don’t feel like calling him first anymore. Calls or texts come from him and you just reply or answer because you have to. Even if he doesn’t make any contact for one week that’s completely fine with you.
3) You’ve no idea what’s happening in his life because you’re simply not interested.
4) It’s hard to find time for him because you’ve only 24 hours in a day. You would rather take your dog out for walk (don’t get me wrong, I love dogs) everyday for 2 hours at least than make 5-minute time to catch up with him.
5) You don’t see him in your future. You never make plans together for your future. It doesn’t give you any excitement to dream about growing old with him. His being there or not there doesn’t make any difference to you or your life.
6) You do not respect him anymore and you don’t mind making this fact known to your friends or family.
7) You don’t feel like sharing your happiness or sadness with him. So what if you got fired from your work or are planning to invest on your own new business, you can deal with it all alone. You don’t want to discuss your decisions and goals with him or even need his moral support.
8) You’ve cheated quite a few times in your relationship and that doesn’t even make you feel guilty.
9) You hide truth from your partner just to avoid any kind of confrontation.
10) You don’t tell him anymore what is good or bad for him because you do not care anymore.
11) Do you remember when was the last time you had pampered him or praised him for anything or gave him compliments?
12) You never take the initiative to make plans for each other like going out for a lunch or dinner date or watching a film together. These plans signify that you’re putting effort to maintain your relationship and trying to spice it up. But when you fall out of love, you do not make such efforts.
13) You feel empty whenever you’re with him or whenever you think about him. Not just that butterflies in your stomach are long gone but meeting him and a stranger feel like similar to you.
14) You’re planning to go abroad for a long period of time for your studies or work and the thought of staying away from him doesn’t make you sad. In fact, this distance is your guilty pleasure and an opportunity for creative excuses for your absence from his life.
15) The things in your relationship that were cute to you are not so cute anymore, like calling each other with cute names or playing silly games. In fact, you find them irritating. You think that you should be doing only “meaningful” things together and being silly with your partner doesn’t qualify as meaningful to you anymore.
Do you know that why do we fall out of love? A psychologist said that it’s simply because of the fact that we’re human. Falling out doesn’t mean breaking up. Every couple is bound to witness falling in and out moments many times in their relationship. This also comes from too much comfort and familiarity with each other.
These signs are only to help you to finally address the truth and to start working on your relationship for a better and lovable future with your partner. Love is like a small plant, you need to water it and nourish it daily to make it grow strong and tall every day. Storms will always try to shake and break the tree but if the roots are strong, then it will endure everything. If we do not take care of our relationship like a small plant, it will eventually die one day.
Image source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
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